*TW pet loss* Lost my 5 year old girl today. I'm in bits.

[letsjog]

I'm sorry I'm not sure what to do with myself at the moment so hoping letting it out in here might help.
She was such a good girl.
Me and the DCs were giving her a belly rub this morning on our bed and now she's gone.

I'm currently looking at cremation options and I keep breaking down.

I am so very sorry for your loss

What a beautiful girl and she was obviously so loved. She will have known nothing but the security of being at the heart of your family her whole life and the fact that she went so suddenly, in the midst of a happy walk, is a blessing for her, though excruciating for you.

It will take time but eventually the sadness will ease and when you think of her you will only smile. They never actually leave us, they are always in our hearts.

@kindlyensure so sorry for your loss.

There is indeed no way to justify it, and that's what is so painful.
She did not stand a chance, she did not have any illnesses and did not get to live a long life and go in her old age.
It's utterly heartbreaking. Spring is such an awful time too, we would have been starting our super long walks and treks and she would have been completely in her element. Now all I can think of is how much she would have loved it.

It's going to be such a long road. We are back to more full on work today after half term and the horrendous week we've just had but as soon as it calms down I'm constantly thinking about her. I just want to get the call from the vet that I can collect her.

Sometimes it's still not hitting home.

Letsjog - I hope you get her back soon from the vet.

I'm not gonna lie, although the pain and absence has got a bit easier to live with (4 months on for us) it's still awful and I am genuinely daily and year or cry most days. I find I can distract myself reasonably well, but if I have any alone time it's awful and today I was watching a feel good film and it just made me cry.

I know how your DH feels as I am struggling to deal with the guilt. I didn't set out for my dog to come to harm and I adored him, but he came to harm on my watch and when if I'd made different decisions it wouldn't have happened. I have to live with that. I also have to live with the trauma I've caused my children as they witnessed the whole accident too and I can honestly say I feel traumatised so can only imagine how they feel.

We're all trying to out brave faces on but it's so bloody hard. They wanted to hold his ashes tonight and talked a little about him, which was lovely but caused my two older ones obvious pain at the same time. My little one is in pain but views things more simplistically.

Feel like I'm stuck in a nightmare and like you I just see what my boy is missing out on when I look out at the garden, or see people walking past our house with their dogs.

I feel like I'm taking happiness as I have a crushing sadness inside all the time

Sorry about typos:

*Daily to tear

• Faking happiness

Wish I could hug you all

So so sad

What a beautiful angel

It gets easier

So much love and joy for an innocent angel
We are so lucky to have them ❤️❤️❤️🙏