What's going in my dog's mind?

[SoiPup]

Hoping someone might have some canine insights. We have a trainer coming over for a home visit but not for a couple of weeks.

So as I have mentioned before we have adopted a dog from a shelter in Thailand about 7 weeks ago. Generally everything is moving in the right direction with her. She's great with the family, friendly with strangers outside the house. Inside the house she shows (according to trainer) typical territorial fear aggression to strangers. This is quite hard with teenage kids and all their friends coming and going and a live-in maid, with the maid the biggest problem as she lives here and we also would like her to take the dog out if we are not home. Anyway, all of this seems fairly typical and we're trying out some of the suggested tactics to address it.

However, the bit I don't understand is this. According to all accounts, the dog is far worse when I am home! I am most bonded with the dog, when I'm home she follows me around all the time so obviously it's something to do with that but I'm at a loss as to why. If she were resource guarding/protecting me then she woud suretly behave like that outdoors as well - and her behaviour is definitely fearful - barking, running away but then in for a quick nip on the back of the leg/feet when she can and then scarpering again. For exampe, today I was out of the house all day. According to my husband and the maid, the dog was fine and tolerated the maid going around the house with no barking. As soon as I got home, she started hassling the maid again.
Any ideas what is going on in her mind and tips for how to fix it until the trainer comes? We separate her from guests but the maid is always here.

(and to add, with covid, I'm at home a lot too)

Why is your dog allowed to harrass a human being? That is bizarre to me. As soon as it walks anywhere near her someone should tell it to get in its bed. It is not allowed to approach humans unless they invite it. Teach it some manners.

She has no manner because she's an adult dog who we adopted from a shelter just 7 weeks ago and has had zero training? She's a work in progress - I am training her and we go to obedience classes but we're still on sit and stay.

The maid and the dog are iliving n the same apartment. Some contact is inevitable.

Apart from criticism, any constructive advice or insights? Thanks :)

Cannot get past you having a live-in maid and expecting her to walk the dog when you're busy. Are you outsourcing your whole life?

I'll be honest, I don't think this dog is right for your environment.

Having had a similar dog we had to alter our lives to fit round his foibles. Totally worth it but fairly curtailing.

@killickthere

Cannot get past you having a live-in maid and expecting her to walk the dog when you're busy. Are you outsourcing your whole life?

Blimey, don't know about teaching the dog some manners, clearly some humans are in need of training too. Are you always this rude?

Why exactly does this bother you?

And, as it happens, I only said 'take out the dog'. We live in an apartment and don't have a garden and the dog needs to be taken down for pee breaks. I don't expect the maid to walk the dog, we can do that in the evening but IF we are out all day then, yes, I would ask the maid to kindly take the dog out for a pee break in the middle of the day. Hope that arrangement is OK with you or would you prefer we let the dog piss itself in the house?

@stayathomegardener

I'll be honest, I don't think this dog is right for your environment. Having had a similar dog we had to alter our lives to fit round his foibles. Totally worth it but fairly curtailing.

The dog is totally fine for our environment. Perhaps you haven't seen how most street dogs live in Thailand or where we got her from?

I was aksing for some insight into the dog's thinking and tips to manage it and why she behaves much worse when I am home. I wasn't asking if I should dump the dog back on the streets or not but thanks for the constructive advice

FFS, not sure what is wrong with the posters today.

Do yo know the breed of dog of mix of breeds?

In the short term you have to have an area where your dog can go where they are calm. The maid needs to be able to do her job without being hounded by the dog and the dog can not be this stressed all the time.

You must not let the dog practice this behaviour.

As to why it is worse when you are around could be many reasons, more activity in the house more people, you give the dog confidence when you are there, you react more to the dog, others ignore it etc.

I'll ignore the maid aspect because, well, we're all different, aren't we?

Also, please ignore anyone who starts banging on about pecking order/dominance/learning her place in the 'pack', as dominance theory has been discredited (at the risk of sounding like a stuck record).

God knows what she's thinking, but the only thing you need to focus on and 'solve' is that she's stressed. It's still early days, so things may settle down of their own accord. Can you try to keep things as calm as possible for a week or so, to see if she changes? So no visitors, minimal noise etc, calm interactions with her, and put a really solid routine in place so she knows what to expect at any given time.

It might be helpful if you at least linked to your previous thread so people have all the history and context to understand better and provide useful answers?

This is a really silly question, I realise, but I don't know how these things work. Does your dog understand you - English, I mean? Sorry for the odd question. I'm really interested.

iklboo reminds me of Twintown. "Why are you speaking to the dog in Welsh, we got him in Bristol!"

@PollyRoulson

Do yo know the breed of dog of mix of breeds?

In the short term you have to have an area where your dog can go where they are calm. The maid needs to be able to do her job without being hounded by the dog and the dog can not be this stressed all the time.

You must not let the dog practice this behaviour.

As to why it is worse when you are around could be many reasons, more activity in the house more people, you give the dog confidence when you are there, you react more to the dog, others ignore it etc.

She's a Thai mix. Typical street dog.

When I'm working from home, the dog is in my room, relaxed and sleeping next to me and only trots out after me when I go out. She has her crate in the room and a balcony wiht lots of toys. So most of the time she's fine.

When I'm not home she's fine too (apparently)!

The maid works Monday to Friday (and goes to her home at the weekends so she's not in the apartment) so at least weekends when I'm home and not just at my desk there's no problem

The only option then is shutting her in our room while the maid is here.

But how do we address the issue and make her calmer with the maid? We've had throw treats for her and asked her to ignore the dog but it doesn't seem to help. The only thing that helps is me not being around!!!

@iklboo

This is a really silly question, I realise, but I don't know how these things work. Does your dog understand you - English, I mean? Sorry for the odd question. I'm really interested.

Well, given that she'd had zero training when we got her, I think she only spoke dog at that point :)

Have you tried a DAP diffuser?

@user1654236589623652

It might be helpful if you at least linked to your previous thread so people have all the history and context to understand better and provide useful answers?

This is the previous thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_doghouse/4130391-Worried-dog-snapped-at-my-child

Although to be honest, the dog is like a different one to the one I was posting about there in the early days. She's come on in leaps and bounds. If we could just solve this problem with strangers in the house, we'd really have no serious issues at all.

@JesusInTheCabbageVan

Have you tried a DAP diffuser?

No, what is it?

@killickthere

Cannot get past you having a live-in maid and expecting her to walk the dog when you're busy. Are you outsourcing your whole life?

They aren’t in The Uk Plus they said Maid not slave so it think it’s ok

And the maid ASKED to live in because we have a spare room to save on the commute and other costs as she lives a bit far out, not because we work her to the bone. :) Personally, I prefer my privacy but she's lovely so we agreed.

She goes back home for weekends and holidays.

Not sure why I need to justify having a maid (who earns more than teachers and bank clerks do here with paid sick leave and annual leave) but hey ho!

DH is a driving instructor and one of his pupils genuinely said he was going to learn Spanish because they were getting a chihuahua puppy! I just wondered if yours had been in a rescue centre first and was used to people speaking to her in another language.

@SoiPup perhaps I wasn't clear (it has been known) I'm sure your environment is fine but the dog may not be able to cope with the maid if they are not dog confident or random teenagers running around, ours certainly wasn't.

We managed by only having visitors by appointment and moving darling dog to a different building if lots was going to go on.

No ideal but manageable.

I'm just saying be prepared for huge inconvenience if he stays. Personally we found it worth it but frustrating at times.

@iklboo

DH is a driving instructor and one of his pupils genuinely said he was going to learn Spanish because they were getting a chihuahua puppy! I just wondered if yours had been in a rescue centre first and was used to people speaking to her in another language.

I figured that's when you meant, not that the dog had learnt Thai from the other dogs :) But, no, they had so many dogs in the rescue centre and hardly any of them have any chance of adoption so none of them are trained - they're just managing to take care of basic needs.

@SoiPup they emit pheromones that are meant to calm dogs down - we used them to settle our dogs in, a!though they were already pretty mellow so I don't know if it made a difference!

You can get them on Amazon, though shopping on Amazon AND having a maid will mean that you're technically Satan

[quote stayathomegardener]@SoiPup perhaps I wasn't clear (it has been known) I'm sure your environment is fine but the dog may not be able to cope with the maid if they are not dog confident or random teenagers running around, ours certainly wasn't.

We managed by only having visitors by appointment and moving darling dog to a different building if lots was going to go on.

No ideal but manageable.

I'm just saying be prepared for huge inconvenience if he stays. Personally we found it worth it but frustrating at times. [/quote]
Sorry, i got a bit prickly and defensive because of some of the other posters.

But this is the thing and that I don't understand. She copes with the maid just fine when I'm not home!

With guests it's manageable, she has a crate and balcoy in our room and we give her a chew when guests come and it's all fine. Mostly the teens' friends disappear into their rooms never to be seen until it's time to forage for food or leave so that's OK ;)

I'm just trying to undersand why I seem to be making things worse and what I should do to help make the dog calmer if she is much worse when I'm home

This really does sound like a form of resource guarding, OP – I know you said she doesn't do it outdoors but a 'home' environment is higher value, and if she's a street dog she understands the outdoors much better than she does an apartment.

She may even be more stressed indoors than outdoors if she's been a street dog all her life.

Spreading the love is going to be really important –you, dog and the maid need to spend a good chunk of time together in a room calmly, seated on the floor, with lots of treats and love and toys coming from the maid. I'd also think about the maid being the one to feed the dog, too, when you're in the room, to start to shift some of the hyper-attachment from you to other members of the family... things like that.