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The doghouse

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Original poster

What's going in my dog's mind?

67 replies

SoiPup · 17/02/2021 12:30

Hoping someone might have some canine insights. We have a trainer coming over for a home visit but not for a couple of weeks.

So as I have mentioned before we have adopted a dog from a shelter in Thailand about 7 weeks ago. Generally everything is moving in the right direction with her. She's great with the family, friendly with strangers outside the house. Inside the house she shows (according to trainer) typical territorial fear aggression to strangers. This is quite hard with teenage kids and all their friends coming and going and a live-in maid, with the maid the biggest problem as she lives here and we also would like her to take the dog out if we are not home. Anyway, all of this seems fairly typical and we're trying out some of the suggested tactics to address it.

However, the bit I don't understand is this. According to all accounts, the dog is far worse when I am home! I am most bonded with the dog, when I'm home she follows me around all the time so obviously it's something to do with that but I'm at a loss as to why. If she were resource guarding/protecting me then she woud suretly behave like that outdoors as well - and her behaviour is definitely fearful - barking, running away but then in for a quick nip on the back of the leg/feet when she can and then scarpering again. For exampe, today I was out of the house all day. According to my husband and the maid, the dog was fine and tolerated the maid going around the house with no barking. As soon as I got home, she started hassling the maid again.
Any ideas what is going on in her mind and tips for how to fix it until the trainer comes? We separate her from guests but the maid is always here.

OP posts:
PollyRoulson · 17/02/2021 13:21

It sounds like quite herdy behaviour. Nipping when things are moving and then backing off.

What do you do when the dog is around?
What do you do when the maid and dog are together?
What does your husband do when the dog is around?

Does she have a den area she can retreat to?
I think it is really important that she has an area where she can decompress, she would have done when she was on the streets.

Constant stress will only make the situation excalate. It may be enough to just get her chilled to stop the behaviour.

Original poster
SoiPup · 17/02/2021 13:21

[quote JesusInTheCabbageVan]@SoiPup they emit pheromones that are meant to calm dogs down - we used them to settle our dogs in, a!though they were already pretty mellow so I don't know if it made a difference!

You can get them on Amazon, though shopping on Amazon AND having a maid will mean that you're technically Satan Grin[/quote]
Ha ha, indeed! Scared to say that we also have a driver :)

Is it Adaptil?

(No Amazon here in Thailand but there is an online pet store and they stock it - I was thinking about gettin git )

OP posts:
Original poster
SoiPup · 17/02/2021 13:24

@ladybee28

This really does sound like a form of resource guarding, OP – I know you said she doesn't do it outdoors but a 'home' environment is higher value, and if she's a street dog she understands the outdoors much better than she does an apartment.

She may even be more stressed indoors than outdoors if she's been a street dog all her life.

Spreading the love is going to be really important –you, dog and the maid need to spend a good chunk of time together in a room calmly, seated on the floor, with lots of treats and love and toys coming from the maid. I'd also think about the maid being the one to feed the dog, too, when you're in the room, to start to shift some of the hyper-attachment from you to other members of the family... things like that.

We've been telling the maid to ignore the dog and throw treats so as to stress the dog less. The maid is desperate to give the dog some loving (not sure why given how the dog behaves to her!) but we've been asking her to hold off! She has been giving her her food, putting down the bowl in front of her but the dog isn't too motivated by kibble. Other treats she's been throwing to her.
OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 17/02/2021 13:24

Driver too?
You bitch

Original poster
SoiPup · 17/02/2021 13:25

Also, the dog was in the shelter since she was a small pup, she's never really known life on the streets. She still finds outside quite stressful as most of her life was in the enclosure in the rescue and although she is getting much better, is much much happier indoors than outdoors.

OP posts:
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 17/02/2021 13:26

Quite fancy moving in with you Tbh Grin

Adaptil do them - there may be other brands, I'm not sure.

You can also get calming food supplements.

@ladybee28's suggestions sound good too.

ladybee28 · 17/02/2021 13:26

We've been telling the maid to ignore the dog and throw treats so as to stress the dog less.
The maid is desperate to give the dog some loving (not sure why given how the dog behaves to her!) but we've been asking her to hold off!

Was that under trainer's advice? I think your maid is on the right track here –make space for her to connect with the dog, on the dog's terms, in a calm environment full of nothing but nice things.

Keeping her at a distance, especially if the dog gets attention from the rest of the family, reinforces the message that she's different from everyone else in the house and potentially a risk.

Icequeen01 · 17/02/2021 13:27

I have nothing helpful to add to your post, but would love to see a photo of your dog!

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 17/02/2021 13:29

@Icequeen01 there are photos on the linked thread - she's gorgeous!

CheddarGorgeous · 17/02/2021 13:29

Please can we have a picture of the dog? Smile

I have no advice except to say that there are some posters on this board who seem to default to "don't own a dog" at the slightest provocation.

PollyRoulson · 17/02/2021 13:32

@ladybee28

*We've been telling the maid to ignore the dog and throw treats so as to stress the dog less. The maid is desperate to give the dog some loving (not sure why given how the dog behaves to her!) but we've been asking her to hold off!*

Was that under trainer's advice? I think your maid is on the right track here –make space for her to connect with the dog, on the dog's terms, in a calm environment full of nothing but nice things.

Keeping her at a distance, especially if the dog gets attention from the rest of the family, reinforces the message that she's different from everyone else in the house and potentially a risk.

Interesting viewpoint but one I disagree with.

The dog is already aroused by the maid so throwing treats will add to the arousal whether this is positive or negative. Maid needs to equal calm and non event. Not threat throwing adrenalin person which she is now.

I would totally stop all interation with the maid and the dog until the dog is ready. (the bit in the post about keeping her at a distance is not how dogs think so no worries there)

PollyRoulson · 17/02/2021 13:32

and as you have said the treat throwing is not working.....

Original poster
SoiPup · 17/02/2021 13:33

@PollyRoulson

It sounds like quite herdy behaviour. Nipping when things are moving and then backing off.

What do you do when the dog is around?
What do you do when the maid and dog are together?
What does your husband do when the dog is around?

Does she have a den area she can retreat to?
I think it is really important that she has an area where she can decompress, she would have done when she was on the streets.

Constant stress will only make the situation excalate. It may be enough to just get her chilled to stop the behaviour.

Not sure what you mean by what do I do when the dog is around? When I'm at home, the dog is nearly always around me and follows me around. For example, she likes to sleep right next to me when I 'm working from home.

When the maid and dog are together and the dog is behaving, i try to catch the behavior and praise her. Otherwise I try to interrupt the barking with a noise and block her from lunging and, ultimately, if she still misbehaves, will shut the door to the kitchen or remove her to our room (where she will whine and scratch to come back).

Not sure what my husband does with the dog when I'm not home but I suspect not too much!

She does have her crate in our room and access to the balcony with a carpet to lie on and various chew toys - that's a good place for her when we have guests as she can't hear them there either so she doesn't get stressed.

She is not in constant state of alert or stress. She's quite chilled most of the day when I'm working in my room or if I'm not home. The worst time seems to be when I've been out at work all day and come home in the evening. That's when her behaviour is the worst.

OP posts:
Original poster
SoiPup · 17/02/2021 13:39

What I was told about the interaction with the maid is that we need the dog calm first and then she will come to the maid eventually.
So not to give treats by hand as then she will be scared even if she comes and takes them.
Trying to keep the dog below her threshold.
And this happens when I'm not home.

The trainer's advice was to have the maid join us for walks. We've done that once so far and the dog is totally fine with her outside the house.

Her other piece of advice was a bit cryptic. She told me I'm the source of the dog's power(!) and that I need to break that. But she didn't really elaborate so I guess we'll need to wait for her visit to find out more what she meant!

OP posts:
Icequeen01 · 17/02/2021 13:40

Thank you @JesusInTheCabbageVan I have just had a look on Op's previous thread.

Oh Op she's gorgeous and one lucky little dog. My apologies I had no advice. I've never owned a dog so shouldn't have been on your thread at all!

Original poster
SoiPup · 17/02/2021 13:41

@Icequeen01

Thank you *@JesusInTheCabbageVan* I have just had a look on Op's previous thread.

Oh Op she's gorgeous and one lucky little dog. My apologies I had no advice. I've never owned a dog so shouldn't have been on your thread at all!

That's OK. Compliments are very welcome :)
OP posts:
Original poster
SoiPup · 17/02/2021 13:44

A more recent photo of our little troublemaker

What's going in my dog's mind?
OP posts:
CheddarGorgeous · 17/02/2021 14:05

Ah thank you, she's beautiful. It's only been 7 weeks, I'm sure she will settle down with time and patience.

Original poster
SoiPup · 17/02/2021 14:35

Just got back from walking the dog (me, not the maid or driver ;)) and I've been reflecting on this.

I'm thinking kind of optimistically

a) she's shown herself to be adaptable - I thought she may never be able to be relaxed outside but she is so much better than a few weeks ago

b) we had a bit of resource guarding with chews in the early days but she responded very well to training to get her over it and we've had no problems at all since then.

c) it is still early days and she's still settling so perhaps this will get better with time as well .

d) I really am the one who takes the lead (figuratively, not just literally :)) with her, I can get DH to do more and perhaps this will help her get a bit less focused on me.

OP posts:
sillysmiles · 17/02/2021 15:10

3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months

As you have said, she is adaptable and learning.

I assume your maid is thai and you are british? I wonder if when you are there she somehow associates your maid with the shelter and wants you not the shelter. But when you aren't there is happy that anyone is there if you aren't?

Honestly, dogs are sometimes mad and there's no reason to what goes on their heads - even when they are brilliant!

*caveat - this theory is based on no evidence or science or qualifications GrinGrinGrin

ArcherDog · 17/02/2021 15:21

Sounds like she’s come a long way already, she’s just figuring things out one at a time.

Your trainer sounds sensible, especially the maid and you walking the dog outside together.

After a joint walk, and you get back to the house, how does the dog then react to her?

ArcherDog · 17/02/2021 15:23

Also the first few comments on this thread were just plain weird, I’m glad it’s turned to a more sensible helpful direction.

Crappyfridays7 · 17/02/2021 15:57

Could you pop her on a lead when your maid or anyone she may be fearful with is about. Then keep her with you and when she’s settled and happy praise/treat (we say nice as our cue word ) so praising nothing. Ignore bad behaviour - she will be on lead so unable to get to maid kids friends etc. You could try boundary training? Or games making you the high value person so she listens to you and you build up a bond. It’s hard going and lots of work though. We have a 6 month old pup and it’s full on so can’t imagine having a dog who’s never been trained but if you’ve got a decent trainer to help ask them for advice too. Our boy was very mouthy with the kids. So we keep them separate, they give him toys and feed him when he’s being nice and calm & he’s either on lead with me or in his bed area. It’s exhausting but he’s learning he now thinks twice and checks with me when they approach him. She looks like a lovely girl and needs boundaries. V jealous of your life in Thailand - my mum has lived in Singapore, Vietnam, Australia etc she didn’t have a maid though Smile that’s me in our house Grin

Lastbonestanding · 17/02/2021 21:46

I cannot get past the live in maid. It's like you have written this thread with no self awareness and sent it to us from the 18th century. A live in maid! Is that even legal?

Original poster
SoiPup · 18/02/2021 00:56

@sillysmiles

3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months

As you have said, she is adaptable and learning.

I assume your maid is thai and you are british? I wonder if when you are there she somehow associates your maid with the shelter and wants you not the shelter. But when you aren't there is happy that anyone is there if you aren't?

Honestly, dogs are sometimes mad and there's no reason to what goes on their heads - even when they are brilliant!

*caveat - this theory is based on no evidence or science or qualifications GrinGrinGrin

The maid is Burmese but I don't think that's the problem. My kids' friends are a whole mix of races, including many Thai, and haven't noticed a difference.

The problem with the maid is that she began with us 3 weeks ago so wasn't here when the dog first arrived (probably should have mentined that earlier as that could be quite important). I think that's why she doesn't accept her as family.

My husband says she's just chilled when I'm not home! But he's not a very doggie person so not sure he picks up on all her signals.

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