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The doghouse

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Original poster

I was 'that' dog owner today and I'm gutted with myself

67 replies

Sprockerdilerock · 15/02/2021 16:29

Took 6 month old spaniel to the big open field near our house. We are training him on the whistle at the moment, on the extendable lead if the field is busy or off lead if its empty or dogs we know. He has been absolutely brilliant, even with other dogs around and we've had lots of compliments.

Anyway it was empty so I let him off and we were doing recall exercises with high value treats.

I just didnt notice the couple with their dog walking quite close to the trees until he did and went tearing towards them. I whistled thinking he would come back but he completely ignored me, determined to play with this other dog. I kept calling and jogger over to grab him and the owner turned around and screamed at me to recall him. Anyway he eventually came bounding back to me then so I apologised and put him back on the lead for the rest of the walk.

I feel terrible and so embarrassed now. I was so determined not to be 'that' owner. Also frustrated that we usually have at least one off lead dog bound up to us each walk and it genuinely doesn't bother me as they are always friendly and my dog loves to play, but of course my dog chooses the wrong dog/owner!

I know hes getting to that difficult age and I've definitely learned my lesson to be more vigilant. But still so cross at him and myself

OP posts:

Hoppinggreen · 15/02/2021 16:31

I’m sure we have all been that owner at some point

MichelleofzeResistance · 15/02/2021 16:34

It happens, don't kick yourself. Mine shot out the door once, which I hadn't closed properly behind me, and was bouncing joyfully around the feet of some poor woman who was frozen in terror, didn't speak English and was desperately trying to find the English for "get this dog away from me right now!" by the time I grabbed him. I felt awful about that and still do!

loveyouradvice · 15/02/2021 16:36

Don't be cross with yourself ... see it as a rite of passage... we have all been there however hard we have tried not to be!

So long as it is a one off (or more likely a two-off, three-off) and you ARE the owner whose dog has brilliant recall (normally) and who is responsible with them on a lead when needed, you are doing brilliantly

No one can ask more - and training is training!

Good luck and well done

SirSniffsAlot · 15/02/2021 16:39

The screaming from the other owner makes me wonder if they were panicked, e.g. their dog is fearful or recovering from surgery etc.

The only things you can do are:

a) apologise a lot
b) be more aware next time, both to the possibility of others around you but also to the fact that your dog's recall is (at the moment) not on point

Both of which you sound like you did/are doing so, just keep it up

ArcherDog · 15/02/2021 16:44

It happens.

I’m the ‘screaming’ dog owner because I have a dog aggressive dog who will react if an off lead dog comes over to us.

My emotions are anger, frustration (as an encounter like that would affect my dog for the next 72hours) but also concern as I don’t want your dog getting hurt either.
Plus my adrenaline is high so I probably would be screaming.

If you were apologetic then I would be rightly annoyed but I would get over it. I know these things happen. No dog owner is perfect.

GBand · 15/02/2021 16:44

Ah. Don't worry. I was the other one in that situation today. I have silly reactive muzzled dogs.

Lady with amazing terrier puppies turned a corner and was mortified that they just came tearing towards us. She was so apologetic!

I was absolutely fine as she was clearly trying her best and had no warning. I think she felt awful that my dogs were in a frenzy but it's just one of those things.

OliverBabish · 15/02/2021 16:49

As a pp said, it’s almost a rite of passage (not to sound blase about it as it is v stressful for some dog owners with sensitive etc dogs) so don’t feel too bad

Just a learning curve. I find it so stressful to walk my dogs off the lead these days - not because they are naughty but just because you do become acutely aware of how things can become difficult quickly. It’s too stressful to be constantly looking around. The joys of owning dogs!

Volcanoexplorer · 15/02/2021 16:52

Don’t worry it happens. Some owners forget that their dogs were once pups too with less than perfect recall.

Atalune · 15/02/2021 16:52

Dh let our JRT pup off the lead when I said put her on, and the pup ran off and jumped up to a toddler.

I was furious! Apologised. Toddler was fine. Parents were fine. But I was FURIOUS with stupid irresponsible DH. It could have been so so much worse. We were lucky. Pup wasn’t barking or baying but had the toddler reacted she might have. And of pup had snapped then the other adults would have rightly gone mental at us.

Anyway. Sometimes we fuck it up. It happens. Don’t be too hard on yourself 😊

HeyDW96 · 15/02/2021 16:53

I generally keep mine on a long line wether we are alone or around other dogs just so that she doesn't even have the option of ignoring my whistle, once you fail a recall they know that they don't always have to return to you and she can be pretty naughty if she gets on the scent of something!

Also I wouldn't beat myself up too much, a lot of people let their dogs with zero recall off and have no guilt about it whatsoever. He's still so young and he'll be gaining confidence every day around other dogs and people!

BiteyShark · 15/02/2021 16:54

I think a lot of owners have been on both sides.

You are only THAT owner if you don't apologise or don't care or think your dog should run up to any other dog.

moosemama · 15/02/2021 16:56

As the person frequently on the other end of that experience with my last dog (highly anxious and fearful of off-lead dogs) I would say, chalk it up to experience and don’t worry about it. These things happen with youngsters and while we all do our best to avoid them, we all make mistakes.

You did your best to get him back quickly and apologised profusely. Honestly, it’s the ‘it’s OK, he’s friendly’ that drive me crackers, not genuine mishaps, especially with youngsters.

Have you any secure fields for hire near you where you can work on off lead without worrying about other do walkers suddenly appearing?

Moondust001 · 15/02/2021 17:04

It wouldn't have bothered me at all. Dogs have to learn, and if the dog is just being friendly or over exuberant, mine will either ignore or play celebrity on his mood. Dogs need to be trained, but they also need to learn to be sociable with other dogs. It's all about balance. Yes, out of control dogs are annoying in general, but so are precious owners who seem to think that nobody and nothing should ever approach their dog but then insist it's exercised in a public space!

unbotheredbutbewildered · 15/02/2021 17:04

My spaniel is terrified of all other dogs. He would run away if I walked him off the lead and he saw another dog 100meters away. I have to walk him on a lead and because he can't run away if a dog runs up to him, he attacks. But, I understand these things happen

Chalk it up to experience and be thankful that your baby didn't do it to a dog who's reaction was more extreme/aggressive.

Training is training and at least you are trying - unlike a lot of people who just say 'but my dog is friendly.'

RickiTarr · 15/02/2021 17:06

Pretty normal for a puppy. Those dog owners sound deranged.

yearinyearout · 15/02/2021 17:09

I had a shit dog day today too! I'm half expecting to be named and shamed on the local bloody fb page 🙄

suggestionsplease1 · 15/02/2021 17:11

My dog can be reactive to certain other dogs as well and this would be the sort of thing that would trigger him. I certainly wouldn't be screaming as that would just agitate both dogs further!

In these situations I calmly and slowly try to walk my dog the other way but it often seems the other dogs are desperate to sniff mine, can sense that he is on lead and can't do anything to tell them off and take advantage to keep coming back for sniffs in different directions.

Other owners don't understand that it is a problem because they don't have a problem with reactive dogs themselves, and how moments like this can trigger arousal levels and put a dog on high alert for the rest of the walk / rest of the day, leading to more nervous behaviour.

But at least you do understand that that is the difficulty and this was a one-off so at least you're in a better position to want to try to prevent it happening again.

thetinselbadge · 15/02/2021 17:12

It happens OP, my almost 10yo spaniel with excellent recall did this a few weeks ago, to another longlined spaniel with trainer in tow. Mortifying. We just turned a corner and at first glance I thought they were off lead too so didn't recall immediately. Normally I'd leave him off lead if the other dog is off lead and by the time I twigged he was too distracted to respond.

Notverygrownup · 15/02/2021 17:16

No, 'that' dog owner would have told them that he was only playing/being friendly, or told them off for being scared of a puppy! You were mortified, apologised, and have taken note for future.

Forgive yourself, and ddog.

NiceTwin · 15/02/2021 17:17

Don't be cross with him, he has taught you a valuable lesson, his recall needs working in.
Screaming is just rude and unnecessary.

MissyB1 · 15/02/2021 17:18

It’s ok it happens to us all at some point. You were unlucky with the other dog/ owners. My schnauzer would have been overjoyed to have a young spaniel come over to see her - but she’s a bit of a tart

Tonightstheteriyakichicken · 15/02/2021 17:21

@BiteyShark

I think a lot of owners have been on both sides.

You are only THAT owner if you don't apologise or don't care or think your dog should run up to any other dog.

^^This.

GeidiPrimes · 15/02/2021 17:22

I was that owner for the first 18 months of dogs life!

My dog has a nemesis, a border terrier and they hate each other. We were in a park, and he spotted this dog and somehow wrenched the lead from my hand and legged it towards this dog, who started crying and trying to climb up its owners legs. I did get sworn at. My dog's never bitten or attacked another dog, (he's just an arsehole sometimes) but they weren't to know that.

AgeLikeWine · 15/02/2021 17:23

It happens, OP.

Just keep up with the training and get the recall reliable. You would only be ‘that dog owner’ if you didn’t realise more training was needed to prevent it happening again.

Flamingolingo · 15/02/2021 17:23

This happened to me the other day. Someone allowed their out of control puppy to bound over and jump and bark at my preschooler. I was furious and a row ensued. I think I would have been ok if she had been apologetic but she wasn’t, citing the oft used ‘she’s a puppy’ excuse. It’s no excuse, all off lead dogs need to be under control. However, you said you were in a dog walking field. I wouldn’t have taken kids or a problem dog there so it’s not entirely your fault. Our issue happened in the middle of one of the busiest throroughfares in the park.

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