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The doghouse

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Original poster

I was 'that' dog owner today and I'm gutted with myself

67 replies

Sprockerdilerock · 15/02/2021 16:29

Took 6 month old spaniel to the big open field near our house. We are training him on the whistle at the moment, on the extendable lead if the field is busy or off lead if its empty or dogs we know. He has been absolutely brilliant, even with other dogs around and we've had lots of compliments.

Anyway it was empty so I let him off and we were doing recall exercises with high value treats.

I just didnt notice the couple with their dog walking quite close to the trees until he did and went tearing towards them. I whistled thinking he would come back but he completely ignored me, determined to play with this other dog. I kept calling and jogger over to grab him and the owner turned around and screamed at me to recall him. Anyway he eventually came bounding back to me then so I apologised and put him back on the lead for the rest of the walk.

I feel terrible and so embarrassed now. I was so determined not to be 'that' owner. Also frustrated that we usually have at least one off lead dog bound up to us each walk and it genuinely doesn't bother me as they are always friendly and my dog loves to play, but of course my dog chooses the wrong dog/owner!

I know hes getting to that difficult age and I've definitely learned my lesson to be more vigilant. But still so cross at him and myself

OP posts:

Original poster

Sprockerdilerock · 15/02/2021 17:36

Thanks for all the kind comments. I've tried not to let the dog know that I'm cross but he has been following me around sorrowfully ever since so I think he sensed it Just given him a big cuddle had slobbery kisses in return.

@GeidiPrimes your post made me smile, a dog nemesis

I suppose it just feels like sods law that this dog was around rather than the dozens of regulars who are up for playing!

Onwards and upwards with the training though. I do actually know someone with a field we can practice in so that's a good shout actually! Itll just be the birds to distract him but at least they cant yell at me!

OP posts:

Hovverry · 15/02/2021 19:12

It takes about a year to train a dog and it can’t be done in your back garden with pup on a lead. A bit of tolerance would be nice. Puppies, like toddlers, can be a naughty nuisance and it takes time.

catsrus · 15/02/2021 19:41

I've got a trio of dogs that put me in every category 😂. A very well trained, advanced obedience, girl who will stick to my side like glue while off lead, if commanded to do so. She will walk on either side on command, she's very impressive.

Then there's the reactive terrier, always on lead, always on the lookout for un-neutered males to challenge. He goes into full-on rage if one gets within sniffing distance.

And then there's the "oh LOOK, a dog I don't know that might want to play!!!" boy who races up to other dogs with joy in his heart. I've been working really hard on his recall - he's pretty good now, and I was patting myself on the back for 18 months of hard work with him.

Today we were just approaching the home stretch after a lovely walk in the fields (only one attack mode incident with the terrier) when a woman with two dogs came OUT of the lane we were heading towards and party boy took off towards them, my confident call and whistle was ignored, as were the more frantic calls and whistles. He had total selective deafness. Luckily the dogs were friendly, the owner was unfazed, but it could have been your scenario. I can't let my guard down with this boy - have to be on alert the whole time or he'll be off!

On the plus side the obedient girl now understands the command "go get party boy" and will race over to him and try to encourage him to come back with her 🤣

Sadsiblingatsea · 15/02/2021 19:45

They are dogs and sometimes do what dogs like to do.
The other woman was pretty unreasonable. When dogs bound up to me I’m not bothered at all.
Everyone is so wound up these days.

haggistramp · 15/02/2021 19:50

Don't feel bad. These things happen and dogs are still learning. There's no need for people to be screaming at you if you are clearly trying to get your dog back under control. I've an aggressive dog (towards other dogs) and she is approached by other dogs all the time when she is on her lead. I've never once had to scream at the other dog owners.

shrumps · 15/02/2021 19:55

I keep both mine on a lead because they are nervous and snappy. Four times on my walk today I had to ask 'can you call your dog?' Because dogs not on lead's came bounding over. It drives me absolutely mad and stressed me out so much - mine are on a lead for a reason and I can't believe people let their dogs off if they aren't 100% sure they have good recall.

GeidiPrimes · 15/02/2021 20:35

*@GeidiPrimes your post made me smile, a dog nemesis *

I tried to make a joke at the time about them being each others nemesises (nemisi?) and that's when they swore at me

LimitIsUp · 15/02/2021 20:38

I expect puppies to be unruly and unpredictable, and I wouldn't have given you shit if your pup had come bounding over to my dog - as long as you were attempting recall and chasing your dog down (which you were)

You shouldn't be feeling upset with yourself

tabulahrasa · 15/02/2021 20:47

I think shouting at you when you were trying to recall him was harsh tbh.

I’ve been there loads of times with a dog recovering from things or a dog aggressive dog... and I’d only ever shout to recall your dog if you’d already ignored me shouting that my dog is unwell or unfriendly and carried on without doing anything to recall.

Someone doing their best - especially if they did manage and then apologised, well it happens sometimes.

Nutrigrainygoodness · 15/02/2021 21:18

My ddog (not really mine, I just have the displeasure of walking him)
I have snapped at other dog walkers who wouldn't/couldn't recall their dog.
One lady with a bouncy bouncy dog.
"Oh don't worry he's friendly stupid laugh"
"He's (looking at ddog) not"
"Oh, er, well I will try and get my dog back"
Ddog by this time was winding his way around me to try and get out of the way of the sniffy bouncy dog.
"Get your dog and put it on a lead if you cannot control it, I am not standing in the middle of these 2 any longer"
She soon moved and put her dog on its lead.
It's not that ddog is aggressive, he's just very nervous- he doesn't like people he doesn't know, he doesn't like loud noises, he hates having his bum sniffed so he will bark and growl (which obviously doesn't help the situation)
I don't care if your dog is friendly, mine is on a lead for a reason.

Puppies are cute so I'd have let you off. I'd have even let it jump up at me, and told him how good he was, and how he was going to be a big boy one day. 😁

Aloethere · 15/02/2021 21:25

@Hovverry

It isn't always about tolerance. I react when off lead dogs come up to one of mine because she is an anxious dog. So far she has never reacted in any way other than a growl and trying to run away but I don't know how she would react if a dog kept coming at her. I don't want your dog to get hurt. Not all dogs love other dogs. I do my part by keeping her on her lead but if other people don't do their part then I can't guarantee what will happen hence the reaction.

Frenchdressing · 15/02/2021 21:27

I can’t get my dog to recall at all. She’s a pain. I love to see her ru ning around but can on'y do it if no dogs are around. Tried everything but she just IGNORES us!

NoProblem123 · 15/02/2021 21:31

Every day’s a school day - another lesson learned.
He’s only young it’s early days.

Thermalpants · 15/02/2021 21:33

Don’t worry about it. I often have dogs run up to mine to play. Chased by apologetic owners. I have no problem with this at all. I do have a problem with people letting their aggressive/bullying dog run up to mine or not retrieving a pestering pup. Give yourself a break. I think some people have unrealistic expectations. Dogs are not robots.

persistentwoman · 15/02/2021 21:35

Wow - what a nice supportive thread.
We've all been there. I also have a 'party boy' like catsrus so spend my time scanning the horizon watching for people and dogs to appear in order to get him on the lead.

polkadotpjs · 15/02/2021 21:36

"Party boy"!! This made me laugh
My pup has shocking recall IF there's a more interesting dog available to run with. Squirrels and people I can get him back from but potential friend? Nope not yet. Perfect recall in dog walking fields or if it's empty but he sees another dog off lead and running he wants to join in. So I've stopped letting him off unless it's dead.
All tips welcome ...
Don't beat yourself up OP. You care and for me that's all I'd want to see having had a chihuahua snarling and snapping at my pup to be told "oh she won't bite him" but he was really scared so I've had both sides.

Gliblet · 15/02/2021 21:40

@Notverygrownup

No, 'that' dog owner would have told them that he was only playing/being friendly, or told them off for being scared of a puppy! You were mortified, apologised, and have taken note for future.

Forgive yourself, and ddog.

Completely agree. I'm the owner who would shout if your dog approached mine (who would be on a short lead) because I know he's reactive and might hurt your dog, but I would completely understand what had happened and wouldn't give it another thought unless you completely ignored what was happening, made no effort to recall your dog, or just kept waving your hands around and wittering on about how friendly your dog is. To be honest I'd just be impressed (and jealous!) that you're socialising your dog and teaching him proper recall (even if it's not 100% yet)

Original poster

Sprockerdilerock · 15/02/2021 21:50

@Aloethere you are absolutely right, I was lucky that this dog didn't react by going for mine. It would have been completely my fault if he had gotten hurt and I'd never forgive myself.

He will be back on the extendable tomorrow which is a shame as he loves a good run. It feels a bit of a catch 22 - he needs better recall before being allowed off lead but its difficult to build up without letting him off first to practice. The joys of dog training!

I really do appreciate all the supportive comments

OP posts:

Maverickess · 15/02/2021 21:51

As others have saved, don't be too hard on yourself or the dog, I have a snarky cow of a JRT, she's on the lead most of the time because of this and yes, I get frustrated with owners who just let their dogs run up and don't try and get hold/retrieve them, but as another poster said, my reaction is more fear based, I'm pretty good at reading a dog and can generally see if they're coming to play or to scrap, but I know my dog takes just about any approach as a threat (she's surprised me a few times by trying to play though!) and with a small dog it's worrying if the approaching dog is bigger, because mine would start it, but be unable to finish it and likely come off much worse.
So I might be shouting at you to get hold of your dog initially, but once you'd caught it and got the lead on I'd explain mines reactive and say that these things happen and go on with my day.
I've had dogs a long time, I know they take time to train and at some point you've got to do that 'experiment' the see if the training has worked.
Don't think you're 'that' owner at all.

Mylittlesandwich · 15/02/2021 21:52

My friend has a husky. He is obviously a very full in dog. He's very sweet but needs lots of training and exercise.

They hadn't had him long when they went to w Christmas market. They took their eyes off him for a moment to look at something (he was on the lead). By the time they looked at him again he had his head in a little girls crotch and had almost knocked her over. They apologised profusely and the mum of the little girl said there was no harm done.

Just think OP it could have been worse.

WannabemoreWeaver · 15/02/2021 21:53

It would be a rare dog owner whose dog has not done something like this or else embarrassing. Sounds like she had a strong reaction - maybe fed up, because it happens to her each walk and her dog reacts, maybe you just caught her on a bad day. Dont be cross, just be careful and accept that sometimes they will do things you wish they hadnt.

Heyta · 15/02/2021 22:07

It’s only on mumsnet nobody has ever had a bonkers puppy, OP (particularly a gundog type). In my real life, dog owners think it’s hilarious when your dog makes a complete show of you - because they’ve all been there - and because they’re normal, fallible dog owners. Especially spaniels. Don’t be too hard on him, or yourself. One day he’ll be old and doddery and you’d pay for a moment of utter shame, but it will never happen again. Keep going, and don’t wholly believe people who suddenly let a working type dog off the line cos it was perfect and stayed perfect.

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 15/02/2021 22:12

It happens to us all. My puppy ran up to someone the other day, who hyped her up - 'Ohh, aren't you LOVELY! Lovely! LOVELY!' - and was then a bit surprised to be jumped up at.

I called her to me and apologised.

It's just very hard with young dogs: you think you've cracked it and the dog suddenly decides, having ignored other dogs for a week, that today it will break its sit-stay (also rock solid for a week) and rush off to greet the grumpy collie just entering the park...

JackieeWeaver · 15/02/2021 22:14

We've all been there OP, don't beat yourself up. My dog is great nearly all of the time, but has an off day where he doesn't fancy listening. Any understanding dog owner wouldn't react in this way, I certainly wouldn't, I'd be happy your dog was running toward me, rather than a busy road

2ndMrsdeWinter · 15/02/2021 23:06

Everyone makes mistakes, op. It’s a rite of doggy-owner passage.

Last week, when I was walking my dog and dc, a very bouncy lab puppy ran up to my dc (age 4) and knocked her straight over. The owner was crying and apologising, my dc was wailing, my dog was barking and lunging... it was a nightmare

Hope the above makes you feel better.

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