Puppy Survival Thread - January - February

[C4itl]

Continuing on the thread from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_doghouse/4105422-Puppy-Survival-Thread-December?pg=28 before we hit the message limit

@alseb I'm not sure if this puts your mind to rest, but here in France the advice is to take your puppy out as much as possible as soon as you get them at 8 weeks. The thought is that the combination of the first jab and the immunity they get from their mothers is enough to protect them as long as they are not actually eating other dogs poo. So no trips to dog parks, but small walks and trips out are highly encouraged.

I cannot imagine keeping a puppy 100% inside until 12 weeks.

Thank you for your replies. Luckily we have an enclosed garden to use. I’ll check with the vet tomorrow. Hope everyone gets some sleep tonight!

That is so hard @alseb we had to wait till 13 weeks, the vet didn't tell me we could have had the 2nd jabs earlier than we did so it was frustrating but we couldn't even use the garden, we have a family of foxes that are constantly in there (walls are really low) so the vet said it wasnt OK so its great if you have an enclosed garden as at least pup can have a run around.

We went for lots of walks with him in a carrier so he met lots of people which was great.

Hi all, new to this site and hoping to get some advice with our 6 month old puppy, she’s a cockapoo. It was my idea to get a dog as our eldest is 14 and has been asking for one for ages and I thought if we don’t get one now then in a few years she will be leaving for uni.

I didn’t bond with the dog from day one and had instant regret. I never thought I would feel this intense dread. I read somewhere it could be puppy blues but we’ve had her since the end of October and I still really wish that she wasn’t here and I could have my old life back.

She is quite a good dog all things considered, but I just find her very restricting and see the next 15 years ahead stuck with her being whiny and needy. She goes to doggy daycare twice a week and I really look forward to those 2 days. The trainer said the cockapoo breed is known for being high maintenance and whiny. It’s the high pitched whining noise that really stresses me. She does it when she’s bored and can’t self soothe even if she’s been out for a long play in the park. I know she’s just a puppy but truth be told I just don’t like having a dog. I find the whole thing really tedious and just don’t get the idea how you’re supposed to enjoy this. The trainer makes me feel even more guilty as she says she feels sorry for the dog and that I should give the dog to her to rehome.

But I don’t live on my own, there’s my partner and 3 kids who all love the dog and do take their fair share of looking after her. So it would be too cruel and arrogant of me to assume my feelings trump them all and the dog should go.

I really don’t what to do to turn my feelings round. I feel very trapped by dog ownership and only have myself to blame since it was my idea.

I asked the trainer if she knew of clients who feel the same way as me but eventually have a change of heart or can be at peace with the idea. But she said I will never ever feel comfortable with the idea and it’s in the dog’s interest to be rehomed as it’s cruel her being here since I don’t want her.

But I just can’t do it to my kids who all adore her. Sorry for the long post but how can I stop this feeling of dread...:

Phad088 I didn't bond with my dog until he started showing his adult personality. It's also hard when you are battling with training and they are being a pain in the arse as a teen so expect things to get worse before they get better at 6 months of age.

Personally I would separate out training for obedience and 'fun training'. Look to do something that is fun for both of you. As part cocker scent training would be really good so maybe find a scentwork class that you can join. This will give you both something to do together that isn't focusing on 'fixing' the bad points.

Dogs are a tie. There is no denying that and we adore ours who is now 4 years old but I won't be getting another

Oh and I wouldn't be happy with a trainer 'encouraging' you to rehome through them. Call me cynical but be aware that young dogs are being sold for stupid prices. If you are going to rehome go back to the breeder or contact respectable rescues for advice.

@Phad088 it might be worth starting your own thread. Can your husband and kids step up more?

I found it much easier as ours got older, she’s 13 months old now and much calmer. Less clingy, settles herself well, she kind of goes on standby when we aren’t doing anything much.

We do quite a bit of scent type stuff with her as that tires her out. Noth8ng complicated, just treats hidden in a box of old toilet rolls and newspaper and she has to find them, and a snuffle mat. Could the kids do some of that with her?..

Also do wait and find me and hide and seek in the house. It all calms her.

It does get better. It helps that my in laws take ours for a couple of hours a day while we are working and she comes back knackered.

But really as they get older they can be left a bit longer. They can be left in home stay while you are on holiday.

Thank you all for your advice and support and for not judging.

Glad to hear there is hope and feelings of stress will subside! Trainer constantly telling me to either rehome or return to breeder doesn’t help but we’ve agreed that she shouldn’t ask anymore as we both find it upsetting.

Never thought owning a dog will turn me so neurotic!

@Phad088 It sounds like a really difficult situation. I had bad puppy blues (I have a 5 month old cocker) but they did pass by the time we'd had her about 6 weeks. Do you enjoy anything about her? Do you enjoy going for walks/playing/doing training sessions? At first I hated being in the house with her cos she didn't settle but I did like the walks. Now she pulls on the lead and walks are a chore but she's amazing in the house! There's always something.

Tbh the main thing that jumped out from your post is you should get a new trainer. Either she's bad at her job or she's just not a good fit for you, but if I were you I'd look into getting someone new. Can you increase daycare to three times a week to get more of a break?

The other thing is you say she whines when she's bored. Why is she bored? What's her environment like? How much exercise is she getting? Does she have enough toys/boredom busters/chews? Does she get enough contact with the family, is she crated or in a pen too much? There are probably some things you can explore that might help.

I agree re the trainer, they should be working with you to sort out any issues.

I am definitely feeling tied and it can be wearing at times but the trainer is helping with my confidence regarding this. I would expect that they should be finding ways to resolve the issues rather than telling you to rehome.

I think I’m just not a dog person and should never have thought that I can turn into one. People kept saying to me before I got her that it would be a lot of hard work but feelings will develop and more than make up for it. But I’m just developing negative feelings!

She’s predisposed to whining and quite a reactive dog. She has loads of toys and there are people around her all the time like myself and kids. But unless we give her non stop attention which is not feasible, she just sits slumped bored after playing with her toys for a bit. This is after long playing and run about in the park sessions. She’s still restless after.

She’s crated twice a day for an hour each time to force her to nap as otherwise she just walks aimlessly round the house all restless. She gets 2 off lead run around a day in the park on top of the short walks to do her business.

The trainer to be fair just sees my look of despair everytime she comes to pick up and giving her feedback based on that.

I get few moments of enjoyment when she’s calm and affectionate but that’s about it. The only true enjoyment I get is the happiness she brings to the kids but as for me i must say I get very little out of the experience

@Phad088

I think I’m just not a dog person and should never have thought that I can turn into one. People kept saying to me before I got her that it would be a lot of hard work but feelings will develop and more than make up for it. But I’m just developing negative feelings!

She’s predisposed to whining and quite a reactive dog. She has loads of toys and there are people around her all the time like myself and kids. But unless we give her non stop attention which is not feasible, she just sits slumped bored after playing with her toys for a bit. This is after long playing and run about in the park sessions. She’s still restless after.

She’s crated twice a day for an hour each time to force her to nap as otherwise she just walks aimlessly round the house all restless. She gets 2 off lead run around a day in the park on top of the short walks to do her business.

The trainer to be fair just sees my look of despair everytime she comes to pick up and giving her feedback based on that.

I get few moments of enjoyment when she’s calm and affectionate but that’s about it. The only true enjoyment I get is the happiness she brings to the kids but as for me i must say I get very little out of the experience

I don't think Ignoring the dog is a problem. Mine is 4 and will follow me around the house a lot when I am working in case he misses out on some fun. They will learn eventually that fun times don't happen all the time. Just let her follow you. Make sure you ignore any whining as they are really smart and will keep doing it if they get a sniff of attention.

The trainer to be fair just sees my look of despair everytime she comes to pick up and giving her feedback based on that.

Can I just check, does the trainer pick the dog up and take her away for training sessions? Or do you go too?

My cocker whines too if she thinks she's missing out. We crate her when we have dinner with a lovely chew and as soon as the chew's gone she'll be gazing out sadly as though she's been abandoned, even though it's been ten minutes. They do need to learn to entertain themselves. Honestly ours was a nightmare at first for needing attention but they grow up. Have you tried things like Kongs, cow/rabbit ears, yakker chews? Do you rotate her toys? Apparently constant access bores them so we give her maybe two or three at a time and then swap them out to keep her interested. She just sounds like a normal dog, I'm sure things will get better.

She’s doing daycare with a trainer so she comes to pick up up and drops off at the end of the day. So we agree on the things she needs to work on, she does it and tells us how to continue at home.

That’s a good idea about rotating toys, we just put them all in a box and she goes and picks out what she wants at the moment.

She is not doing anything bad and quite well behaved for a puppy. The problem is definitely me, can’t deal with her FOMO. Feel bored, frustrated and waiting for this sudden rush of love to come.

@Phad088 So first of all I'd be finding a new daycare. This trainer woman doesn't sound supportive of you and sounds like she wants to buy your dog, I wouldn't be sending my dog to her. We use daycare and the guy is the loveliest man ever, full of tips but doesn't step on our toes. Also for me training has been an amazing bonding experience with our dog. I use a Zoom trainer cos of lockdown, it's an hour a week (with lots of homework) and it's good fun. Can't recommend it enough for you. Training is as much about teaching the humans as the dogs, I can't see how she could teach you how to continue the training at home at a quick doorstep drop-off. I think you're missing out on a massive opportunity to build a bond by outsourcing training.

You didn't answer whether you use edible chews or not. If your main problem is that the dog won't settle then teaching an 'on your bed' command and giving her a chew might help. Although earlier you said if you don't give her attention she just sits down bored. Isn't this the goal? They just lie down bored until they fall asleep, or quietly play with a chew toy. You can't entertain them all the time. Is there maybe an element of over-stimulation? If she's got access to all her toys, the kids etc.

Have you done much reading around dog behaviour and training? The book Easy Peasy Puppy Squeezy, the Facebook group Dog Training Advice and Support, and this thread were all really helpful for me. It's such a learning curve.

@Phad088 Ignoring ours (cockapoo) paid off in the end. She sits on her bed while we eat. Sits under husband's desk while he works. She will when she's had enough go off an get a toy and they spend 5 minutes playing, but she's mostly on standby.

It honestly does get easier and less full on at home, but you'll have to put a bit of time into training everyone in how to keep the dog calm. So training settle.

Also more brain work.

Then balance not being a dog person, but hopefully having a calmer dog, that the rest of the family loves.

Also get someone else to do the poo pick up in the morning in the garden. And you can train them to only poop in one place.

@MaryIsA how old is your pup?

@LondonPupMum She's 13 months now. At 6 months she was still very bouncy and FOMO filled.

Sorry yes, she has a number of edible chews like yak etc. Unfortunately she doesn’t fall asleep,’just lies there staring at us to amuse her with the next thing. My partner says this is is what dogs do, they lie down and look around, but to me she doesn’t look settled. There’s a lot of fake rest going on as the slightest sound of noise/ movement at the door then she’s up immediately and prowling. I should try to ignore it but it really puts me on edge

You may have a point about the trainer. I feel very guilty about how I feel so I kind of accepts her reinforcements that what I’m feeling is not good for the dog.

Did do all the reading and research but nothing prepared me for this.

Will look into the online training. There was a really good puppy training class locally to us that my friend recommended but all closed now with lockdown

@Phad088

Unfortunately she doesn’t fall asleep,’just lies there staring at us to amuse her with the next thing. My partner says this is is what dogs do, they lie down and look around, but to me she doesn’t look settled. There’s a lot of fake rest going on as the slightest sound of noise/ movement at the door then she’s up immediately and prowling. I should try to ignore it but it really puts me on edge

I think that's it - they just lie there - they've got a 3rd eyelid thing as well so there eyes always look open. But you just have to ignore, so when she follows anyone she realises nothing much happens.

They need way more downtime than they realise.

Cockerpoos are velcro dogs though, so they are pretty much always going to want to be where there favourite people/person are.

[quote MaryIsA]@Phad088

Unfortunately she doesn’t fall asleep,’just lies there staring at us to amuse her with the next thing. My partner says this is is what dogs do, they lie down and look around, but to me she doesn’t look settled. There’s a lot of fake rest going on as the slightest sound of noise/ movement at the door then she’s up immediately and prowling. I should try to ignore it but it really puts me on edge

I think that's it - they just lie there - they've got a 3rd eyelid thing as well so there eyes always look open. But you just have to ignore, so when she follows anyone she realises nothing much happens.

They need way more downtime than they realise.

Cockerpoos are velcro dogs though, so they are pretty much always going to want to be where there favourite people/person are.[/quote]
Oh really? Is your cocker pop still Velcro at 13 months or getting better?

Cockerpoo I mean!

Much better, much much better. She'll take herself off to a different room to have a nap if its too noisy - like if there's football on the telly. She won't always come in to the kitchen with you to watch you put the kettle on and make a cup of tea. Often but not always.

She's worse with my in laws though, at their house she tends to follow them round, but they are really bad at ignoring her. And ignoring is absolutely fine. They have to learn to switch themselves off.

The braintraining, calming, little sniffy games - just 5 minutes - or a sniffing low key walk round the block - all really help with that we find.

So, ldpup has been with us for 4 days- she's fab! Any tips for housetraining with almost a foot of snow outside? Poor wee thing is frozen (wouldn't have time to put a coat on her)

@LDpuppy We kept outdoor shoes, a hat, warm coat and gloves by the back door. Got very quick at putting them on.

Clearing a spot in the snow in the morning near the back door.

Maybe wrap her in a fleece to take her out and wrap her back up when she's finished.

At least she won't be tempted to naff about in the cold outside.