Rescue dog unhappy in new home

[kaykkies]

We recently rescued a 2yo dog.

Due to covid etc. We only got to meet him on the day of collection.

We had done a lot of research into breeds etc. And are both come from families who have had rescues our entire lives. We only fully settled on getting a dog as our working from home situation allows us to give the love and attention a dog needs.. particularly a rescue!

When speaking to the shelter they relayed to me how much he loves walking, the outdoors etc. A real happy chappy who is full of love and energy!

The first few days he was exactly as described, loved us and loved getting walked, treats and playing outside.

Now that we have set aside the designated time to kick start his introduction at our home we are both back to work full time.

Since then he genuinely seems unhappy. He refuses to leave the house and runs and hides any time he seems his leash.

He seems so indifferent to us, his food, the outdoors, walks, toys, playing and even treats. Even tho we have only known him a short time we can tell that he is genuinely not himself here. I cant even motivate him to drink water.

He seems bored and depressed. We work from the sofa and he is unhappy unless he is right up on your lap.. which is impractical from a working from home/zoom/laptop point of view.

The only time he is on his own is when we are in bed. I get up in the early hours toncheck on him and he is pacing around the floors. I dont even know if he fully sleeps at night?

Since the laptops opened it has become more and more apparent that we cannot meet his care and attention needs!

We genuinely feel like we he would benefit a lot more with another home - particularly one with kids or another dog.

I've contacted the shelter and haven't received a reply. We both feel super guilty but recognise that he is unhappy in our care.

Can someone please advise?

It is hard to say but it sounds to me like this dog may have had too many changes in a short space of time. e.g.

Change 1: from the shelter to the home where you (with good intention) behaved artificially, but giving him more attention/company than he was going to get permanently
Change 2: suddenly these new people, with whom he's not yet built a proper relationship, start to act differently again by ignoring him (aka working) when previously they might have done something else

Might it simply be a case of him needing to get used to this newer scenario? How long ago did you kick into the normal routine of working etc?

How long have you actually had him?
How long had you had him before you went back to full work mode?
He sounds lonely and confused. We don't have enough information yet really but so far I agree with GhostPepperTears.
Would you consider having him sleep in your room at night?

Could one of you use the sofa and make space for him? If our ddog isn't touching me when I am home she looks thoroughly depressed. Even after 7 years..
Then maybe you can wean him off in time? Our dpuppy is very cuddly for about half an hour first thing then buggars off to a chair! Some are just needy! May be temporary.. Can't promise!
Imo you have made a commitment, time to put it to the test not give up!

Rescue dogs take anywhere from a few weeks/months to a few years to settle. Poor soul needs time. Please don’t rush into giving him back if he isn’t behaving as you expect immediately.

It is way too early to make such decisions, give him 6 mnths

Hi guys!

Thanks for commenting.

We allowed 4 days with both of us off work.. sat-tues. I then sort off (dont tell my boss) skived off work the rest of that week to look after him. Eg. He WILL NOT leave the house. So I've had to carry him to the car and drive to the park near by to poop/pee as he will not potty or come out into our garden.

He is beginning to resent me a lot i feel lol as im always the one who has more spare time to cater to him. As a result I've gotten a bit afraid of him? As I can tell he is huffing with me?

If this makes me a bad person I am so sorry! But 8 cannot have him sleeping in our room as I know he will only want to get into our bed.. and I draw a line at that! Sorry!

Everything i look up or people advise is to crate train him. I couldn't do this to an animal who has been rescued and also the rescue centre advised strongly against this

How long have you had him and do you have any previous experience with dogs?

So I think I would give this dog time and space to settle. Lots of gentle, calming praise when he is doing something 'right'.

In terms of the garden, what would happen if you left the door open and just went out into the garden without him? Without any pressure, might he follow you? I'd perservere with that over putting him in a car to toilet - because I'd worry that by repeating that (which he clearly isn't ready for) I am making the worry about going out for walkss etc worse. If he's not ready for walks then don't go for them for a few days/weeks even. Let him settle down in his new home first.

I'd also ignore the huffing. My dog huffs at me about a thousand times a day. Tough luck - he's stuck with me . I think it can be very easy to read things into dog's reactions to us that are not really there and, in all seriousness, a huff and a sigh of contentment/relaxation, from a dog, can be very similar.

It's really hard to tell because we cannot see the dog but nothing you have described cannot be explained by him still needing to get used to his new home and all of you still being relative strangers. Time, patience, space and calm may be all that's needed here.

So he's been with you a week or so?

Probably too early to tell. He needs a routine and to get used to that,a few weeks at least. He's bound to feel insecure at all the changes so I wouldnt crate train just yet.

Is he on the same food that he had at the rescue? My rescue went on a bit of a hunger strike when she first went to the rescue and when she came home with us, as in her last house she was fed on human food only so getting dog food was an adjustment lol

Do they have a blanket or anything which has come with them? Toys etc?

I myself huff regularly so I can relate lol!

I've leaving the door open and allow myself to walk in/out playing it cool and casual.. like its no big deal at all. We eat outside to encourage him to come out and take coffee breaks outside playing ourselves with his toys and he just plain refuses.

His farts are a dead give away for when he's needing a poop so we can always tell.

He was in a home with other dogs and kids.. unfortunately I plan on having no kids or any other dogs.

Rescue centre have not called for a check in or replied to my calls to questions over his mood

Hi,

It seems all very normal to me, I always had medium and small-sized dogs and rescued a quite large mixed breed from Bosnia, so I only actually saw her when she arrived, it was not easy at all, she would bark when I was not home, she chewed on some expensive things and it honestly took me 3 months to love her unconditionally and she is the absolutely perfect dog since then.

I do have other animals, one dog, and two cats and though they are not friends it deff keeps each other company, but from all 4 of them, my rescue is the quietest, less needy, always asks to go into the garden.

At first, and even now she is not keen on cars, a lot of the times she thinks she is getting returned - even though we've had her for 5/6 years, maybe putting your dog in a car at the moment is not the best scenario, is there anywhere nearby you can slowly introduce him to?

And I agree, maybe schedule a few breaks maybe you can take two and your husband can take two during work hours to be with her for 15 minutes while you have a tea and play or cuddle her.

I am not keen on crate training but some dogs do need a place to feel safe, my boss' dog loved his crate, even when he had the opportunity to sleep somewhere more comfortable, he would choose his crate.

It does take a lot more than a week to get a dog adjusted, for me it was 3 months, I have a friend who rescued a dog and it took her double this time as he had separation anxiety and they had to pay for dog day care for months on end, if you really like the dog I think you can try a bit longer and the rescue should be giving you more advice and working with you. We did hire a trainer for my dog but it was not the best fit, just time and patience.

Same food. Came with a kong that we know he loved. Currently has treats inside and he hasn't looked near it

I love the idea of you (in shades) acting cool as you breeze out the door. No big deal, just goin' to the garden...

Is he toilet trained or would he accident in the house if not taken out in the car?

Can you get him to go near the open door? Maybe some gentle encouragement and treats so he is comfortable near the door, slowly then inching the way out into the garden?

A real shame the rescue has not got back to you. The single, best thing any rescue can do to increase the chances of a succesful rehoming, is provide support and knowledge to the new owners.

Yupp..12:30am 'yawn.. I fancy a trip to the garden! Whos coming?!'

if he's a rescue you need you give it several months to settle, would be very unusual to happen so quickly. did the rescue not explain this to you?

We were told that he is toilet trained but I'm not sure to what extent.

He's had a few accidents and only for general observation of farts and time since last pee'd have we gotten him successfully outdoors to potty.

@kaykkies

Same food. Came with a kong that we know he loved. Currently has treats inside and he hasn't looked near it

It still sounds to me like he is struggling with the new home (rather than him just not liking the home). If so, handing him back is likely to make this worse for him - though I realise it may be impossible to avoid.

I would still focus on:

• allowing him to move at his own pace;
• providing a consistent and reliable routine (this goes a LONG way to helping dogs feel more confident because they know what will happen). For a while try to get up at the same time, work at the same time, walk at the same time, feed at the same time, relax at the same time, each day.
• make sure he has somewhere safe that he can go and will be left in peace; this can be an open crate (leave the door open always) but could also be a dog bed or certain seat on the sofa etc.
• do not try to over compensate with love or affection, just act normally

Everything to do with dogs always take more time and repetitions than we think it will

Again due to covid very little had been relayed to us as we couldn't officially go to the shelter.

He was fostered with a family who had another dog and kids who would have kept him a lot more occupied than we could

Oh bless him, I found the 3 days/3 weeks/3 months guidance spot on with our rescue so I wouldn't make any hasty decisions.
What motivates him - food, toys etc? If you need to cook him sausages every day to entice him out then so be it!
Keep your routine like clockwork so he knows what to expect and give him time and space, don't push things so they become an issue and take serious training to resolve

Agree with @GhostPepperTears

You need some support with this OP, from the rescue or a trainer or the previous home, but as others have said a few days in you have no idea what he will be like eventually - it takes months to know that. A shut down dog takes work, and routine, but I suspect you’ve done a bit too much with him and are just seeing the reaction now.

Can you post your/his routine?

So you were home for 7 days 'with' him full time, and are now on day 3 of ignoring him?

Poor dog.

Stay home with him, not trips to the park until he knows you and knows where he is. Give him some stability.

No.. im on day 3 of back to work!

We are at home with him. 24/7. The only way we can get him to use the bathroom if its the tree at the dog park.

Seeking advice not negativity thanks!

oh bless him. read up on decompression in rescue dogs, it will help you understand him a bit better. sounds like he's shut down, which is common in rescue dogs - it can take quite a long time for them to get confident and for you to see their true personality

when ours first came home she wouldn't walk anywhere for weeks - we knew she could walk nicely on a lead as we walked her at the rescue, but she was just terrified of going further than the end of the drive. and then when we did get her to go a bit further, it had to be both of us, not just one, then eventually she would go with DH alone but not me, then eventually me on my own. It took about 6 months I would say before she would confidently head off on a walk, and even now 4 years later she sometimes refuses to go or to get in the car. we don't force her to do anything that makes her anxious unless it's necessary like a trip to the vet

the garden also scared her and we had to do lots of gentle coaxing, she couldn't be out there alone - she was clean in the house but you could see she was desperate for a wee but still anxious to go out

she wasn't left completely alone for a full year - she either came with us when we went out, or one of us went alone. she wasn't destructive but we got a camera and could see she was distressed if we left her, so after a couple of tries we didn't any more

we originally intended to have her sleep downstairs and one of us slept on the sofa for a week or so to try and settle her but she broke her heart when we tried to leave her down there on her own, so she now sleeps by the side of our bed - she knows she's not allowed on the bed at all, and settles nicely. I really don't think letting him sleep in your room will make him automatically think he gets to go in your bed

ours is also a huffer - it's her way of communicating to us, I wouldn't worry about that unless it seems he is being overtly aggressive. she is also currently really annoyed that we are both back at our desks after the fun of Christmas, this week has calmed down a bit but last week was constant bothering to play/cuddle/sit on the sofa, so I think he will chill out once he works out what the routine is.

he's confused, he's scared, and he wants to be near his new people. nothing you are saying screams behavioural issues or problems to me, just a dog that needs love, patience and time to blossom

also...make sure if you're trying to tempt him gently to do something that your treats are 'high value' - cheddar cheese, hotdog sausages, primula, liver paste, peanut butter etc. it needs to be something that he will want more than he doesn't want to do whatever it is you want him to do, and we found that dog treats / biscuits just didn't cut it!