How common is aggression in dogs?

[Lavenderteal271]

Our dog is 14 months old. He's shown aggressive traits since he was 8 months. Mainly fear based but also now territorial. We've been working with a behaviourist but I think this is something we'll always have to manage.

I have very little experience of dogs and I'm just wondering how unlucky we've been here. It's pretty gutting that the family pet we'd waited for for so long has these issues.

Looking back one of my childhood dogs had resource guarding issues and another had anxiety.

The difference now is that these behaviours are recognised and managed.

I think you have been very unlucky. Your behaviourist has probably suggested not to neuter him as with fear-based aggression this can make things worse. I would think about a muzzle in public places until you are sure the problem has been dealt with, as your aggressive dog must not be able to bite or traumatise other dogs or people. I presume your vet has ruled out pain as a factor, or even a brain tumour.

If the aggression was triggered by an event (another aggressive dog attacking him, perhaps) your behaviourist should be able to teach you strategems to regain his confidence. A long trailing lead in the house may enable you to move him without being bitten or getting too close to the business end if he is being territorial.

You may have him another dozen years so think carefully about whether you have the time and energy to devote to his training.

In my line of work very very very common.

However I think peoples expectations of dogs are so much higher than they used to be.

Dogs are not allowed to put a foot out of place without cries of despair and PTS.

Poor breeding and shit breeders that wreck the puppies before they even get to their new homes are also a major issue.

Yes he's been vet checked and we know not to castrate although we may try a temporary chemical castration further down the line with our behaviourists approval.

I wish I could turn back the clock a year and chose a different pup. I feel awful thinking that but its true. We're committed to him though unless we reach the point where he's obviously very unhappy in our home environment. Thankfully we only have one DC who's 12 so we are able to manage him safely.

I'm just sad that he can't be around other children, it's not what we imagined when we got him and having done all the hard puppy stuff and adolescent stuff we know we've got potentially 15 years of 'issues' ahead.

OP is it hard to live with a reactive dog and you have my respect. I see people completely change their livestyle to enable their dog to have all that they need.

Reactive dog owners need to be recognised as outstanding dog owners.

People who are lucky enough to get a friendly bomb proof dog need to be grateful and also acknowledge that reactive dog owners need our support (eg no he is just being friendly situations ever)

I have a dog reactive dog. I have to be hyper alert on every walk.
I will never be able to have a nice relaxing dog walk to the park.
It’s honestly soul destroying. Not how I imagined dog ownership.

*However I think peoples expectations of dogs are so much higher than they used to be.

Dogs are not allowed to put a foot out of place without cries of despair and PTS*

This makes me feel better. I'd like someone to tell me that it's ok, that you can have a happy dog who's part of the family despite their problems, that they don't have to be perfect all the time and that it is within the boundaries of normal doggie behaviour.

Just feeling a bit lost and worried with it all.

I can totally understand your emotions and I feel it is totally normal to grieve the dog you have not got.

A big part of your behaviourists job is to find what your dog is good at. It makes it much easier for you and your dog if you can do things together without worry and get the joy of your relationship.

Things like agility, scentwork, long walks in safe places etc. It is hard not to concentrate on what you have not got, but it helps to concentrate on what you can do. (I speak from experience here and at some point if someone pointed this out to me I would probably have caused phsical damage but over time I saw this was the way forward )

This makes me feel better. I'd like someone to tell me that it's ok, that you can have a happy dog who's part of the family despite their problems, that they don't have to be perfect all the time and that it is within the boundaries of normal doggie behaviour

Oh god yes he will be a happy dog and you will have a good relationship. My reactive guys have given so much back to me. Dogs absolutely do not have to be perfect all the time and good control and management will make this so much easier for you. Doing this alone will bring down the stress levels in your dog and in a few months time you will be in a very different place to where you are now.

This is not something you have done or caused. You are the fantastic owner that is giving your dog the best life.

Oh, I feel a mixture of sadness and joy at having found this thread, and found others in the same position. We rehomed the sweetest dog a year ago. At home and when she meets other humans she is delightful, but has major issues when she sees other dogs (all the aggressive barking and body language). As a PPs have said, we adapt and accommodate, but it IS hard work. I wish I knew why she is like this. Despite some success with distraction techniques, it consumes her.

Thankyou Polly, your kind words have really meant the world to me. I feel like a terrible dog owner at the moment.

Archer, we do get to have some relaxed walks although I never truly relax, I'm always looking ahead or behind, hand tucked in my pocket with a treat at the ready. I'm increasingly taking him out earlier in the morning when its quieter and easier. The worst is when you've had a brilliant walk, no reactions and then you're literally a minute away from your front door and boom, he kicks off. Its so disheartening and stressful.

It is a lonely place being a reactive dog owner and it shouldn't be there are a lot of you amazing peolpe out there.

Do remember a dog does not need a walk evey day especially a reactive dog. Scent games in the garden, trick training in the garden, sometimes reactive dogs really need a duvet day to just unwind (and some days so will you).

Brain work can relax and tire them out so much. In my opinion all reactive dogs should be scatter fed (a simple by brilliant magic trick) that tires them out and releases hormones to relax them.

Teach a "lets go" that will get you out of trouble in most situations and do not be afraid to give a cheery wave and move away from people.

Another thing I'm struggling with is how to tell people? I dont want him labelled as an aggressive dog. Lockdown has meant that we haven't had to make a big deal of it. Our DS has had friends over a couple of times and we've just said that pup is nervous so not to disturb him and we've kept him separated but beyond that we've not talked about it to anyone.

I feel a bit embarrassed especially as he's still so young. I think people would understand if he was a rescue who'd been mistreated. I also don't want to hear peoples opinions. I'm worried we'll be judged for keeping him or if we ever reach a point where we have to remove I'm worried we'll be judged for giving up on him.

I'm also hugely worried that one day we'll reach that point and our DC will be utterly heartbroken.

Thanks for the advice Polly. I've joined the reactive dogs Facebook group and I've learnt so much from there although I think I need a break from it as reading all the posts is making me more anxious I think.

Telling people. I just say he is reactive or nervous and needs his own space. In a nice smiley happy, but firm in control I do not need your advice type voice. I have practised this over the years

If you do feel like talking about it feel free to pm me at any time. It will not be anything I have not see before.

What exactly are his issues? Is it guarding his food/toys, being overly attached to one family member and getting snappy if anyone else approaches, not liking children, not liking other dogs, being scared of certain stimuli... etc? It depends on the trigger as to how you manage it, I’m sure the behaviourist has told you this but it should be possible to recondition him by slowly getting him used to certain situations.

Has anything happened like he got disturbed by the kids while eating and is now aggressive around food? Has anyone touched him while sleeping resulting in him now snapping if you get close while he’s asleep? Does he react badly to other dogs? If any of the above then these can be made easier by changing the situation, e.g give him his dinner in a crate, stop a long way from another dog and get him focussed on you and the treat and gradually decrease the distance between you.

I have a dog reactive dog who also randomly and unpredictably barks and lunges at people (with no warning, and not every person, so it’s hard to predict) so I know the frustration, for me, introducing him to other dogs in a dog park greatly helped him relax and he now plays with them, with people it’s a work in progress!

I've fostered and rescued but the reactive dog was a poodle cross who came as a puppy. He was over active, sensitive and needy. Then at 12 - 15 months he was attacked twice, both times on lead by an off lead dog. At 18 months an off lead dog came out of woodland and attacked him, leaving 11 puncture wounds along his neck. He became increasingly reactive.
I;d been taking him to training classes run by good trainers so we had basics in place. He was very intelligent. I stopped training indoors because he found it too stressful to be in close proximity to other dogs. I found a great trainer, who works outside in fields, so plenty of distance. WE also took up agility and find it games which he loved and excelled at.

I worked on "watch me" and soon if he saw a monster approaching he'd fix his gaze on me and walk nicely past.

I kept up with training with experienced trainers who helped me work on his strengths and diminish his stresses.
I was retired and had two other dogs, who were good role models and gave him security. I had plenty of time to devote to him and enjoyed learning so much more. I didn't have young children or grandchildren - the grandchildren arrived later by which time he was four and we were through the toughest times.
I really feel for you Lavenderteal271, it's great that you've joined the reactive dogs group and also working with a behaviourist. Best of luck with your dog. My reactive dog and I formed such a strong bond.

It's all a bit long winded to explain. It basically started with an incident where a child screamed right in his face, he's now scared of children screaming or running towards him. He'll either cower or go into barking/growling/lunging. We manage this well, he's not around children at home and on walks we give him a treat as soon as he sees a child so he doesn't react often. He did at the weekend as a child in wellies came around a corner straight towards us. He did quickly focus on me, sat for a treat and then we did 'let's go.

He will sometimes react to other dogs. Mainly big black ones but this isn't a huge problem.

He's scared of strangers on the home. Has growled and lip curled at BIL and FIL. Due to lockdown we haven't been able to work on this but we know now what we need to do next time either of them visit.

He growls and snaps if he's disturbed when he's sleeping. We know now that he can't sleep on the sofa. He sleeps in his bed and we give him a wide bearth.

The hardest thing is our DS. He absolutely adores the dog and is so good with him but after the initial incident with the screaming child the dog became fearful of him. We followed our behaviourists advice and it seemed to be resolved. However, on Saturday, DS was sitting at the kitchen table eating pizza. The dog put his paws on DS' arm, DS moved his arm and said down and the dog bit him. I didn't see it happened but as I turned my head I saw him lip curling. The bite was gentle, no mark but he did make contact. We're now going to have to put him in another room while we eat.

He had another reaction a while back to me. He had a new toy, he was on the floor with it and I sat on the sofa, he growled and lip curled at me.

Written down it sounds so bad. These incidents have occurred over 7 or 8 months. We'll go weeks and weeks with nothing and then he'll react and as you can see, it feels like its something different everytime. We learn from each one but I feel like we're all tip toeing around him.

I'm nervous to even post this cause I know it'll be followed with replies telling me to remove or PTS which is easy for people to say when they don't see the lovely side of him and I dont want to break my DC's heart!!

Written down it does NOT seem so bad. What breed is he?

Many dogs will react when woken up. Lots and lots of generally placid dogs will do this. So what you are doing and ensuring he is not disturbed when he is sleeping is fine and will solve this issue.

If your dog had meant to bite your DS he would have done so. Your dog is showing a lot of control in what he did.

Dont get him high value new toys, keep it boring and keep the toys similar.

Oh I think I remember did you post about the snapping on waking before. Your dog is a cocker terrier mix? or have I got it confused?

Well I would say the good news is that the dog is giving a warning (growl) and showing bite inhibition too (didn’t mark your son)
I really feel for you, it must be hard. Our GR showed some resource guarding when younger but we did manage to deal with it with training. The main thing we did was keep it very light - so if he had anything he was guarding we acted as if we didn’t care and if at home we “went to the fridge to eat cheese” if that makes sense - he now drops things at the word “cheese” we also learnt to read his body language really well. He bit DH once and I could see it was going to happen. We also had to have a sofa ban.
Sounds like you are doing everything right, keep going x

I'm sorry for you.
The usual thing here is that everyone says "oh get him vet checked and then get in a behaviourist" as if that is simply going to turn this tense, fearful, potentially dangerous animal into the happy, easygoing companion you wanted. It is not.

As long as you have this dog, you will have to manage every moment of his day to alleviate fear, not push his many buttons and prevent injury. You can get very adept at that but it is likely to be rather life-limiting.

Be especially careful with your DS's friends.

“However I think peoples expectations of dogs are so much higher than they used to be.”

Yep...

We had some terriers growing up that just wouldn’t tolerate children, we just had to leave them alone, lol...

I’ve had a lab cross who growled whenever you gave him a command... he’d do it, but mutter away to himself the entire time lol

A dog that cane to stay with us because it was chasing sheep, till the owners moved - couldn’t be offlead near other dog’s or he’d maul them, proper attack and he was a large dog...but fine if kept away from dogs as in not reactive at a distance.

These are all 30 odd years ago btw...

And, no-one ever blinked an eyelid at, yeah, she doesn't like kids, he’ll attack dogs or aye... he just does that, he’ll go to bed, but he’ll growl the entire way there - people just accepted it.

With my last dog though - he was reactive towards dogs and strangers, mostly noise and twirling... he probably would have bitten eventually if we hadn’t been managing him quite heavily and yeah, some people were really weird about the fact we didn’t rehome him (because people are lined up down the street for reactive rotties with health issues) and yes, he was really really hard work sometimes, but he was also lovely and I miss him loads still, 2 years after he died.

And yes, as another poster said no high value items. We don’t give anything that takes a long time to eat, although he now will bring me things to “share”

Yes that's me! I've posted a couple of times. I really really can't thank you enough for your kind (and gentle) reply!

Its so difficult when you're not a 'dog person' to get the right perspective on this. I know we're doing all the right things, we're doing our best by him. All 3 of us are really committed to him its just exasperating when you think you've solved a behaviour and then something else crops up and I feel like his world is getting smaller, we're having to control his environment more and more.

That toy went straight in the bin (when he wasn't looking!). It was so odd because he's never guarded a toy before or after but there was something about that squeaky lemon that set him off.

Thanks everyone for being kind. Its helped me to just write it all down. We'll be ok, we've got this far with him. We're still getting to know him, I'm hopeful that one day we'll really understand how he ticks and the way we have to interact with him will feel natural.

He's a beautiful boy.