Feel like we failed as owners

[Lisa78Lemon]

When deciding which family dog to get a few years ago we thought long & hard about it. We opted for a Cavapoo due to our young DC and found a reputable breeder.
We tried hard to socialise (puppy parties) and train Teddy (Dogs Trust classes), exercised him often, played games, gave him food puzzles, interactive toys, lots of love etc etc
He was also crate trained from day one & we worked hard to keep a good routine.
From the start he was always quite 'loopy'. He would have 'zoomy' attacks that lasted hours, nipped us hard and often, chewed the furniture non stop etc.
He was always on edge and was very nervous around people, even though we kept trying to socialise him and ensure the interactions were positive.
We even got a behaviourist who gave some advice but no major changes to what we were already doing.
At 5 months he snapped at my DH when he put his hand near his food bowl. He then became possessive over objects and chews. This came on quite suddenly.
With DC, this was not acceptable so we got the behaviourist in again, consulted the vet and he was put on anxiety medication (fluoxetine) and a new training programme.We don't punish and use positive, reward based training.
He improved a little but recently (he is now 2) the behaviour has really escalated.
He is just so nervous and never settles down.
He can be loving one minute and then bites your hand the next.
At this stage, for the sake of the DC, we think he needs to be rehomed to someone with no children and experience of anxious dogs.
Its heartbreaking as he is part of our family and we expected to have him so much longer.
We are finding it hard to deal with.

Is there such a thing as a 'bad' dog?
Have we done something wrong along the way without realising?
Has anyone else been in this position?

I keep wondering what we could have done differently and feel bad for Teddy and the DC.

Sadly, I'd have to agree @wolffromthewest Such a shame.
Interestingly, I know the man behind the Labradoodle has said he regrets his 'creation' and I wonder if the public's opinion on hybrids in general will shift in the coming decades.
Certainly, I can see the allure when the cross-breeding is done responisbly and there's opportunity to reduce disease but, as you say, without Kennel Club guidelines etc, many of the breeders seem to be in it for a quick buck.

This is why rehoming places are so strict about d'amies with young children adopting puppies.

It Sounds like you already had 2 young children and had a baby when your dog was himself still in the stages of learning to socialise and behave well.

His reaction strikes of a dog suffering from alack of one to one attention whilst being overstimulated by the unpredicted noises of young children.

I think he deserves the chance to see how he would fit with a family living in a calm environment. You've done all you could for your dog and it isn't working.

I find cockapoos and cavapoos impossible. I do wonder why they're so popular. I am sure there are wonderful ones out there, but every one I have met has been a neurotic, growling, snappy, hyper mess. I think they're lousy crosses, to be honest. I'd rehome.
SOcialising is key. But you don't need to push the boat way out with puppy parties and all of that. I think socialising, while vital, should never be overwhelming. Your dog's life sounds overwhelming and a bit stressful. I am so sorry to say that. That's not your fault. You've tried your best and you've done what you thought was right. But perhaps your approach stressed out an already anxious-by-nature dog. It's very difficult when you have a dog that's just hard work from day one. You have my sympathy.

If you have a crawling baby, take a huge break from dog ownership until your youngest child is 4. That would be my take-home advice. If you decide to own a dog again, think about a more family-friendly breed like a chocolate labrador. You just can't go wrong with a lab.
Good luck with rehoming. I know it's very sad for you as a family. It is what it is. What it's not is a failure. It's just very sad when things can't work. Your dog may find a more peaceful life in a different setting (not a family one, it sounds like). I think rehoming is the wise decision.

If I’m honest it sounds like he didn’t have enough discipline when he was a puppy. I am a dog trainer specifically working with puppies, I have 3 or 4 at a time come and stay in my home for a few weeks to learn basic obedience and manners. I work using positive reward based training but I also discipline puppies for bad behaviour. Biting is one of the number one things people want fixed when their pup comes in, normally I stop it first day. Puppy bites me and then they get rolled onto their back into a submissive position, very young puppies will then never do it again, older ones may need it once or twice more and thats it. The reason it works is because a mother dog would do excactly that to tell her puppy off, same goes for dogs asserting dominance to others, they will pin a dog down to show whose the boss. In my house I’m the boss, fully aware I’m probably going to get flack from some people for saying this but it works for me and several other trainers I know. DO NOT try and do this to an older dog - I am only talking about puppies here, they are young and learning.

I had a "bad" dog. Full on Pedigree from a Crufts winning breeder. I got him at six months old from the breeder.

He was bad from the day we got him, he bit dh within minutes of being in the house. We tried everything for 2 years. My BIL said the dog was psycho and that he believed dogs could have mental health issues like people can. I'm a very experienced dog owner and had never come across anything like this before or since.

We had him pts in the end. I didn't feel I could pass the problem onto someone else. He was anxious and nervous and the thought of him being anxious and scared with strangers broke my heart. Someone on here said to me that being pts isn't the worst thing which can happen to a dog and sometimes is kinder than rehoming. I certainly thought for him that was true.

@TheVanguardSix we've got a lovely cockerpoo - she's gentle, easy to train, not at all hyper, good with other dogs. I have met a few overly bouncy ones but I think that's maybe more to do with the owners....

Please do not keep a dangerous and unpredictable dog around your tiny children. Rehome him/get him out of the house as soon as you can.

@Puplife why on earth would you board a tiny puppy to 'train' force to submit when it's the owners that need to learn?
Wow.

@Puplife is using outdated and disproven techniques. Please ignore. Dominance theory is nonsense and even the person who came up with it admits they were wrong. Never “alpha roll” a dog. And you don’t need to be the “boss”. You’re also not using positive methods if you “discipline” them in this way.

As stated I use it for puppy biting, I do not do it for any other reason. All other training is using food or a toy depending on what the dog likes.

@Puplife puppies explore the world with their mouths. It’s what they do. It’s not bad. It’s doesn’t need to be stopped. Just directed to what they can chew.

I am well aware of that though I realised I didn’t clarify I meant when a puppy bites me! I absolutely do not roll a puppy for chewing on a cushion or something, they get told No or Uh uh and given something they can chew. People whose dogs come to me have more often than not let their puppy get to a point where they are biting you and not letting go or biting several times in succession. A little tiny puppy nip can be stopped with a loud yelp from me or a firm no but not when they are past that point as mentioned.

It’s bad advice to yelp too.

Ok so say a 6 month old German shepherd puppy sunk its teeth into your hand and wouldn’t let go or you pulled your hand away after it nipped you hard and then immediately goes back to do it again and again. What would you do?

Not an alpha roll. That’s for sure. But puppy biting isn’t “sinking its teeth in”. You sound uneducated about dog behaviour. Dangerous.

Ok then what would you do? And I’ll take back the sinking in teeth part as you are right that not how puppies bite but they have sharp teeth.

Have you contacted the Breeder? Most breeders (good ones) prefer to either take the pup back, retrain and rehome or at least assist in rehoming.

Also I recommend this FB Group, who may be able to give some advice on training, it's run by professional behaviourists and I've seen many good success stories and turn arounds: www.facebook.com/groups/374160792599484

@Puplife timeout not alpha roll unless you want that to backfire horribly on the owners at a later date.

GSDs are mouthy and will do it for attention. Consistent timeouts withdraw the attention. It's not rocket science.

Poor handling that allows a 6 month old to get so wound up that he bites IMO...

@Puplife

Ok so say a 6 month old German shepherd puppy sunk its teeth into your hand and wouldn’t let go or you pulled your hand away after it nipped you hard and then immediately goes back to do it again and again. What would you do?

In the moment, I would put the dog in time out, and do so each and every time it tried to bite me. Biting/usign teeth = you get put in another room on your own until you calm down. Calm behaviour = attention and fuss. Using your teeth or mouth gets that attention taken away.

In the long run, I would train the dog to be calm, by praising calm behaviour and things like "four on the floor". Teaching a drop or swap command would be good too, as well as teaching the dog to settle on its bed.

I'd also make sure the dog is getting enough sleep, training, exercise and rest. Most bad behaviour in young dogs is down to the fact that they don't get enough down time, and also because they're eating poor quality diets.

Puppy bites me and then they get rolled onto their back into a submissive position, very young puppies will then never do it again, older ones may need it once or twice more and thats it. The reason it works is because a mother dog would do excactly that to tell her puppy off, same goes for dogs asserting dominance to others, they will pin a dog down to show whose the boss

@Puplife I hope you don't believe this! Go and visit a breeder with 4 -8 weeks old puppies. Observe closely! Mummy Dog will not roll her puppies onto their back into a submissive position... she will play with them and teach them how to play. She will "run away" if she has had enough. Sometimes "nipping/ biting" if things get to heated... as a result most puppies will roll on their back in submission by themselves. But not all!

Fact is, you can't replace mum to the puppies in your care. My advice is, get an experienced bitch (one who had 2+litters) and let her teach them. It's a world away from conventional dog training, but works every time! YlvaDog1 is such a dog, we work together with wayward rescue puppies / young dogs ... she is fantastic! I don't need to put any puppies / dogs on their back to assert dominance...

Puplifes advice is outdated and the dominance theory has been debunked some time ago.

Try South East dog rescue if you’re in the SE area. They have and do take dogs with behaviour problems when it is a last chance situation.

This'll do. It's over ten years old - long enough for anyone involved in the canine behaviour 'business' to have become familier with it.

drsophiayin.com/blog/entry/new_study_finds_popular_alpha_dog_training_techniques_can_cause_more_harm_t/