Dog is now 15 months old and I feel like a complete failure

[rosesinmygarden]

She doesn't listen. She is so naughty!!!!!!! She doesn't seem to give a toss about pleasing anyone except herself....

I am losing patience with her to be honest and I feel like a complete failure. I know if I had more patience or was a better owner she may well be better behaved but I am losing the will to live.

She is our second dog and soooo much harder work than the others.

Collies can be hard work. From my experience they can carry over stress more than other dog breeds and can be more sensitive to stress in the home.
I have one who is particularly sensitive & can be reactive. She needs routine and lots of management. I walk her where we're unlikely to see other dogs & am quite prepared to change route should I see any. She's not reactive every time but her bucket fills up & can remain partly full from one day to the next. A new walking route will stress her, maybe not noticeably at the time, but then she'll react to something you think she should be able to cope with.
She's a rescue & in the early days ( as she was collar shy) she wore a harness and lead in the house so she could be redirected easily.
She can be vocal- nowadays she moans rather than barks - so she's put out of the room. She's demanding attention, especially when others are talking.
I'd say to take a big step backwards in her training. Her hormones are raging. Keep her on a long line. Take her on the same boring walk every day so she knows what to expect. Avoid stressor.
When you know she should be able to settle, put her in her place. Insist she settles, but then praise her for it. Drop treats on her bed, but reinforce the settle. If she moves put her back.
Unfortunately some love to push the boundaries but it will improve.
Look after yourself as well. She's probably picking up from you which is to be expected as she's a cross of 2 very sensitive, empathetic, devoted breeds.

I actually think agility might be too arousing for her right now - watching movement; other excited dogs. Then factor in her fear of other dogs & I think it's likely to end in bad behavior.
Clicker training tricks and teaching calmness & focus I would think are the way forward; firstly in the safe space at home, then garden. Practice all the basics from dog club with loads of rewards for getting it right. Then try in a relatively safe new space but don't expect her to generalise & be able to reliably do her exercises to the same standard as at home. You'll need to go backwards & reinforce what you already know.
Remember her wages & make it worth her putting in the effort with her work - super tasty treats or the most wonderful game with her ball.
If you can, and you haven't already, read some books on collies, it may all become clearer - Carol Price for understanding behaviour. And find a positive trainer who has lots of experience of collies.
You'll get there. I wanted to return my rescue so many times. She's not easy like my others have been, but she's a special girl.

I’ve got a ten month old, who is also a high energy, very intelligent breed. It’s constant! And my pup isn’t reactive to other dogs, so you have a lot to deal with. It sounds like you’re doing all the right things. I do go to a 1:1 trainer once a week. Shop around. Mine is far cheaper - but far better = than others around here. Also try a breed specific Facebook group. Try not to take the criticism too personally. My trainer often tells me I’m doing it wrong, but I value her input so much, I just take it on the chin. The teenage stage is quite hard, especially as they’re now big dogs. You need to get your husband on board and tell him to be calm. I sympathise = managing kids, dog and a husband and working from home feels relentless. Hope your health improves, that’s tough for you. I hope your pup is comforting you.

@D1ngledanglers

Collies can be hard work. From my experience they can carry over stress more than other dog breeds and can be more sensitive to stress in the home. I have one who is particularly sensitive & can be reactive. She needs routine and lots of management. I walk her where we're unlikely to see other dogs & am quite prepared to change route should I see any. She's not reactive every time but her bucket fills up & can remain partly full from one day to the next. A new walking route will stress her, maybe not noticeably at the time, but then she'll react to something you think she should be able to cope with. She's a rescue & in the early days ( as she was collar shy) she wore a harness and lead in the house so she could be redirected easily. She can be vocal- nowadays she moans rather than barks - so she's put out of the room. She's demanding attention, especially when others are talking. I'd say to take a big step backwards in her training. Her hormones are raging. Keep her on a long line. Take her on the same boring walk every day so she knows what to expect. Avoid stressor. When you know she should be able to settle, put her in her place. Insist she settles, but then praise her for it. Drop treats on her bed, but reinforce the settle. If she moves put her back. Unfortunately some love to push the boundaries but it will improve. Look after yourself as well. She's probably picking up from you which is to be expected as she's a cross of 2 very sensitive, empathetic, devoted breeds.

Thank you, this is actually making a lot of sense now I am having a better day!

Today, we went for a 30 minute walk around our local woods. It's always pretty quiet and I can see anyone else coming from a way off. I put her on our 15 metre long lead which I tied round my waist to leave my hands free and she was perfectly behaved. I had been using the flexi lead as it doesn't drag in the mud and wet etc. However, on the long lead today there was no pulling, no dashing off and pulling my arm when she got to the end of the lead like she would on the flexi lead. I think I am going to stick to the woods for her twice daily walks and do a big run in a field a couple of times a week. Coupled with the dog walker walks that should be plenty and far less stressful.
She's played with her rope today and chewed her kong tyre but is now at my feet settled nicely.

I guess sometimes less is more.

I have a German Shepherd who is four. She’s a rescue and has been with us for six months now. Just so you know my experience is limited. But we have had really good results with ditch the bowl. She is fed dry food but not in a bowl. She has to work for it. Makes it far more interesting for her. She has to use her brain. Keeps her entertained and mentally stimulated. We use a selection of cardboard boxes with smaller boxes inside and all sorts of everyday objects that she has to snuffle through, a snuffle mat, food hidden in a scrunched up towel, hidden around the house or garden and also some dog puzzle toys and kong feeders.

I’ve not used a flexi lead but I have heard they aren’t great because there is constant tension on the lead so they don’t learn how not to pull because they don’t get to feel a loose lead.

@Crocky yes, this is what I am thinking! She was calmer on the long line so I think it's worth getting wet hands!

I'm glad you've had a better day - keep hold of it.
Don't be disheartened when you have backwards steps.... Just go backwards with her & reinforce the basics. She's trying to communicate but bloodyhell, sometimes I wish they could speak x

I'm sure you already are but make sure you praise her every single time she does something right, like sits nice or lies down. It's consistency that will get you there in the end. Ignore any mithering at home and give attention when she is staying put. It can be a long slog with collies but once they're trained they're amazing dogs. (I know she's a cross)
Also they really need a lot of mental stimulation, this will tire them out more than physical exercise. Use puzzle feeders etc, train her to do some tricks.

When you say she won't leave your dh alone, what is she doing?
Obviously that behavior needs to be redirected, probably towards you if dh is getting fed up with it.
When she starts, are you able to call her ( provide treats) ask for repetitions of a "trick" ( sit, down, paw) for her to "earn" a jackpot of treats.
It's not a solution but may give dh some breathing space.
Mine can be stalkerish around my ds - mainly when he's striding about trying to find things before he goes out ( slightly stressed). Sometimes she can be told "settle" and will. Sometimes she appreciates a quick cuddle. Other times she needs a full distraction.
With these sensitive reactive / fearful dogs you need to "re-frame" their view of the world, to make positive associations - with the best food/ ball or a cuddle for doing something good rather than being told to go away all the time.

@D1ngledanglers, she just wants him to play or cuddle her - nothing really awful, but a bit irritating when you're tired I guess. He has a long drive and a physical job and is just very tired and a bit intolerant at the moment and when she annoys him she gets a big reaction. He seems unable to just ignore her like I can at times.

Yesterday was a better day and I am just taking it one day at a time. Thank you to everyone who has been supportive and made suggestions. I will have another read through over the weekend I think in case I have missed anything.

There's a fabulous book called "rescuing Devon, the naughtiest dog in the world" or something like that, that I think you will totally relate to!

I think you have a very Border Collie natured cross. There has been some fab advice here already. I think you need to get you DH onside. the training needs to be calm and consistent and he will totally undermine you. I really don't think she's being naughty to test boundaries. I think she is struggling to really understand what is expected of her. She has some idea but it's not fully there yet. It will come but some improvements on how you are teaching her will speed up the process. A collie experience trainer would really help you here. I also think she is intelligent and her mind is racing a bit, she is struggling to keep tabs on all the stimulus inside her head and coupled with a bit of boredom she becomes a bit hyperactive (stealing stuff, digging etc). They are all symptoms, not bad behaviour. Someone up thread said focus. YY she needs brain active time - as well as exercise.

Collies and Retrievers are very loyal companions, so you will be rewarded with your efforts. And it is worth putting the work in now. Good foundations makes for long and happy relationship. You sound committed and for that you are already doing better than so many other dog owners.

Both my dogs were around 3 years before they started to calm down and listen.