Puppy survival thread *September!*

[JuiceyBetty]

Can't believe we're in September now, our babies are growing up!

Newbies always welcome especially if they come bearing photos....

Major major regret today. I can’t even look at her.
16 weeks tomorrow and still not house trained. She still just pees wherever she is and today was a new low. She got on my son’s lap for a cuddle and stooped and pee’d all over him😱😱😱. WTAF?!! Have so had enough. Can’t let her anywhere in the house apart from the kitchen as she pees everywhere so basically have been stuck in the kitchen for 8weeks now😢
Do all the right things-bells/out every 20mins/treats/praise/clean up thoroughly etc etc. So fed up with it all tbh

@pistachioicecream I'm no expert and total newbie but I too felt so trapped 24/7 for the first 2 weeks, it was awful. You've been dealing with it much longer than me though, so you do have my sympathy. My world opened up a bit when I read about enforced naps and started crating for naps when I needed to be elsewhere. Other times I crate with a Kong or lickimat but generally don't leave her unless it's nap time and try to schedule them around school run etc. Is it possible for you to crate then time your exercise with any naps? Not sure what napping is like at 5 months, just 12 weeks here so she's mostly quite predictable - after 1-1.5 hours she needs to sleep, she'll whine 1-2 mins if she's not totally knackered but then gives in. I can then go upstairs or go out and be confident she's ok at least for an hour. For the first times I tried to leave she whined for ages as I skulked by the door and I felt so bad, so for some reassurance I FaceTimed DH via my laptop and left it on her with him supervising and he reported back she settled fine. Once I realised the whining was a bit of an act I felt ok to leave and the more I did it the sooner she stopped protesting.

With your DH saying that, would you consider rehoming her? It sounds like she's really dependent so I understand where your DH is coming from, it's such an upheaval and takes some time to come to terms with it. I think we are still a bit shell shocked and my H would be the same as yours I reckon. He's only interested in rough play with her and I've banned that!

With the food issues have you been able to check her teeth? Pup often leaves her meals, some days she'll only eat if I hand feed or sometimes she'll eat from a puzzle toy or snuffle mat. So I was looking into reasons why and I read about how cracked teeth can cause dogs to appear as fussy eaters. I also read that some dogs just really enjoy working for their food as it gives them an extra rush (dopamine maybe?) which seems true of mine, so not sure if that advice would fit your puppy too?

My trainer told me that 'out' is easier for a dog to understand than 'leave' and 'drop' so might be worth trying that? Not sure though as she already knows your commands and is just being choosy. He also said in the real world things are so exciting that commands get ignored and to try really smelly treats.

Oh no @MrsElijahMikaelson1 that sounds so awful! I've no clue what to say but hugs and your poor little one

@pistachioicecream - I feel your pain on the exercise front - and as VeryGrumpyPup hasn't even had his second lot of vaccinations yet, I am not even getting any walking. Hoping that this improves soon once we can get out and about a bit - though based on our experiments with a lead and walking around the patio, I suspect that will be a slow process (a lot of sniffing at stuff / eating leaves and moss, and very little inclination to even follow me).
I am finding enforced naps help a bit - though that's the only time I manage to actually squeeze in any work - so definitely feel like I am trapped in just a few rooms at the moment.

I have left pup on his own for short periods - but I usually totally mistime things (brushing teeth / chasing up DD to get ready for school) - and find that I have missed the time to get him out for a poo.
Just hoping it gets easier soon (he is lovely when he is snoozing next to me on the sofa in the evening though)

Thanks @puppygalore. Son is 14 and loves her very much so was good about it and just had to get changed again for school! But it’s all over the sofa as well😢

Virtual hugs to you all struggling. Things always seem worse when the weather is crap too.
Really cold and windy here today so no one wants to hang about in the garden. Pup gets shut in the kitchen with a stair gate while DH works in there, think he’s got used to it now and goes on his bed to sleep behind him.

Thanks everyone.

@puppygalore - thanks for your reply. Really appreciate it. That's a good point about teeth affected feeding; that might well be part of the problem at the moment as she is teething terribly I think. DS said he thought a couple of them were bleeding yesterday. But they just don't want to come out! Don't think she's actually lost any yet.

I don't think we'd actually rehome her. She's so attached to us I just couldn't do that to her. Am sure things will get better as she gets older. Lots of it is my fault too - as a first time puppy owner I clearly made lots of mistakes in the early days being too soft about various things and am now paying the price! The challenge is how to correct bad habits you've let form.

Considering whether we should get a trainer in for some help. Although @m0therofdragons experience above didn't sound great. So not sure.

@verygrumpyoldwoman Hope things get better for you too. Know what you mean about the snoozing next to you. That bit is lovely. She's been quite good this morning (apart from the 5.30 start). I've done one episode of the Flitting Technique recommended above. Lets hope that makes a difference eventually.

@MrsElijahMikaelson1 oh no. Poor you and your son! Sounds like an awful start to the day.

Sorry to everyone who is having a tough time. Especially with the shitty weather drawing in it's hard to imagine hanging out in the garden for hours waiting for pup to poo so not looking forward to that. and for you all. I think everyone has moments where they ponder rehoming as well but they get less frequent the longer I have him. @pistachioicecream I already know we've made various training mistakes as a first time owner - I think we need to be kind with ourselves and roll with it.

I had a horrific evening yesterday - took chocpup for a walk that was going pretty terribly anyway - pratting about on the lead and jumping up at everyone who passed within 20m of us. He was also so selectively deaf that I decided not to let him off lead. I'm actually now really grateful for this as at the bottom of our normal walking route we witnessed a dog attacking another. It was horrendous and the woman whose dog was attacked got bitten trying to pull her dog out. If my pup had been loose that could've easily been him and it's really upset and frightened me. I feel totally unwilling to let him off lead again now and I also feel guilty that I didn't do anything to help the poor woman and her dog but I had a puppy and my 4 year old son with me so there was no way I was wading into a dogfight. Not really sure how to feel confident to walk him around there again tbh.

God that's so frightening! Very glad you had kept yours on the lead, thank goodness for the pratting about @chocolate.

We tried another little walk earlier but it was not good. It's very windy here today and Pup was terrified. Tried to go down a little nearby green space path and she just lay down trembling and refused to move. So then we just walked around our small block of houses and she was desperately pulling to get back home the whole time. She liked the leaves blowing along in front of her but not the actual wind bless her! I hope I don't have to buy her a jacket, as a Lab I assumed she'd be good to go in all weathers.

A small miracle occurred before we attempted the walk. Took her out in the garden to do a wee and she got distracted by something. So I said 'toilet' and she actually stopped playing, looked at me and trotted off to her wee area probably just a fluke or coincidence at this stage, but still I'm hopeful! I've been saying 'toilet' for every pee/poo recently but never actually expected it to work so soon.

@Chocolateandamaretto That sounds awful. I hope the poor dog getting attacked was ok (and its owner) and the owner of the attacking dog tried to stop it happening. You never can predict how other dogs are going to react. BeePup seems a bit dopey at reading the signals from other dogs so often gets a telling off by grumpy older dogs that don't want a hyperactive labrador puppy starfishing in their face.

I'm really conscious that my "leaving pup alone" post above sounds a bit smug. For balance, things are far from perfect here. He has woken up for the day at 5am the last two days in a row despite sleeping past 7 for weeks. Yesterday my partner was back working in the office for the day and I think that totally threw BeePup and he would not nap at all unless he was sitting next to me so I ended up doing work calls from the sofa with him snoring next to me. Not ideal.

What i would say is that BeePup won't tolerate awake time on his own unless he is eating and so trying to go upstairs or in another room as a test for how well they cope on their own isnt a great gauge. Also, we tried a couple of times to leave him in his crate on his own and it went very badly. One day it just seemed to click for him. We spent lots of time making his pen the "best place on earth" and our trainer told us to give him ALL food, treats and toys in their (he always brings them out though) and gradually he seems to have associated it as his sleeping place but is by no means a fan. He would NEVER go in there out of choice.

Riverhousepuppy it will get better I promise. I thought I was never going to crack toilet training and my god he was bitey but it does click.

If it was me I would shut the door so it's a physical thing that they see the outside being different from inside. But back to basics so take outside and wait and if pup pees as soon as back inside I would do a pickup and dash outside (yes it can be messy ) but it does get them to think hmmm wrong place. Praise like crazy and also think about a key word that you can associate with toileting. I love using the keyword as my adult dog knows exactly what I mean as I still use it now. I didn't use this as I stayed in the kitchen in the day until he was toilet trained but some people tether their puppy with a light house line so they cannot wander off for a sneaky pee/poo and helps with the dash outside if they try and go inside.

I did use house bells for mine as I was missing his clues and then got rid of them when I knew he knew he had to make it obvious to ask to go out.

But most of all keep at it as it will click eventually.

@Chocolateandamaretto That sounds so scary. Really hope everyone was ok. I'd have been very shaken up after that too.

@LBee2020 I didn't think you were being smug. Sorry, I hope I didn't make you feel like that. Thank you for describing how you got there. I know I need to bite the bullet and start - so really helpful to hear some of the things you tried. Thank you. Gives me hope that crying at the bottom of the stairs is not necessarily an indicator of how she'll cope if we're not in the house.

So is BeePup always in his crate when you go out and with the door shut? Can I ask where the crate is?

For us, at night we use a stairgate to make a secure area in the hall beside the stairs. She has her crate there with the door open (which I think might be a bit small now) and a bed outside it. She moves between sleeping in the crate, on her bed and on the tiled floor during the evening. But it directly faces the front door. So I just can't imagine putting her in that area during the day and walking out the front door. Feels like it would be too distressing for her to see us go. Am probably just being a wimp! But don't know where else to put her.

Would be interested to know where people leave their pups when they go out?

Thanks

Generally for naps during working hours and overnight he is in his crate which sits inside a pen in the kitchen/dining room- The pen is a monstrosity but it gives him some space outside his crate if he wants to sleep on the wooden floor. We both work upstairs so we are lucky that its always quiet and calm in there.

The crate door is generally always open but he is inside his pen so can't cause any damage.

For naps from the evening onwards or on weekends, he naps on the sofa or on his bed on the floor. We are working towards trusting him to nap in his bed in the kitchen which is outside of the pen. We watch him on a camera so we can monitor when he wakes up as he is still pretty chewy! If we are in the house he can only last about 5 minutes from waking up before he is crying for attention.

He is almost 7 months now so he is a bit older and this is only something we've started doing recently.

Thank goodness its Friday, I would do absolutely anything for a decent lie in tomorrow ! (Its highly unlikely) the night time toilet runs are no fun in this weather. Gave in and took the puppy to bed with me last night, didnt sleep through completely but avoided the 3 am wake up call.

Well, we survived the short trip in the car to the vet for second vaccination (though he still seems really scared of the car - loads of work to do). Crazy when we got back home though - and 2 poos in rapid succession in the living room despite being given the chance to go outside only 5 mins before. Will put that down to fear / excitement - but god, I am exhausted again...

What puppy pens do people use? Chocpup is ok in the kitchen when we’re in the house but I’m not brave enough to leave him there when we’re out and I feel like a pen might be a good halfway house

@Chocolateandamaretto how scary for all of you. I’d avoid that area for a while now. Not that it will stop it happening again but it is a negative experience for you puppy, I hope you are all ok.

I learnt a tough lesson today when pup2 followed me to the downstairs loo and I naively said “mum is doing wee wee’s” pup2 did nothing more than Have a wee! At least I know he understands what it means

Pup1 is making much better progress in this area and has taken to tapping the patio blinds when he needs to go out for a wee.

They woke me up at 6am today, my last day of annual leave so I took them out for a wee, fed them and we all went up to my bed and slept till 8am. In hindsight and moving forward I won’t feed them just a toilet break and back to bed with the hope of a bit of a lie in over the weekend before going back to work on Monday with early starts and early walks again.

I also bought some baby food feeders on amazon, filled them with puréed baby food and froze them which they happily munched on when. I popped out a couple of times today

Sorry slow response but thanks for all of your replies. The owner of the attacking dog couldn’t recall himand was clearly afraid to physically restrain it so his attempts to remove him were pretty ineffective and the owner of the dog being attacked had to go in and get her dog which was why she got bitten. Everyone looked physically like they’d survive but my suspicion is that it will have a lo lasting effect on the poor dog who was attacked which is horrible. My pup was clearly upset too and I carried him back to the car.

I made DH come on our walk this afternoon and we went somewhere much quieter so we could be confident of a good experience so I think I’m going to keep my walks there for the time being. Thanks everyone, it was nice to have people to tell who didn’t think I was being daft.

@GazingAndGrazing that’s very sweet and qui the funny that your pup did a wee. As you say at least he knows what you mean!

@Chocolateandamaretto terrifying - hope you're ok
Tonight we went to the pub briefly. One drink. Took polka pup. Thought after a few minutes "ooh this is nice" and felt all smug. Then discovered he'd been digging up the planet behind me. Soil everywhere. The shame. Thankfully the bar owner thought it hilarious but the shame. He was bloody fast at digging. Good job we have AstroTurf

Trying something new tonight, instead of DH on sofa and pup on his bed on the floor, he’s now put his bed in the kitchen (which is where we originally wanted him) and DH has set up a bed to sleep next to him. When pup first saw DH lying on it, he promptly went and laid on his head he’ll get the idea. Hopefully DH can then move gradually away from him rather than the other way round cos pup was just jumping on the sofa to sleep with him. Fingers crossed for tonight and hope you all have a good night with your pups too.

@pistachioicecream OwlPup's crate is in our front room and I put him in there whenever we leave the house, but I try and time his naps around us leaving so that he settles. He also naps in there in the day time even if we're home. He gets fed in the crate every time he goes in, so a kibble-filled kong with something a bit tasty in the top like a bit of peanut butter or salmon paste and at bedtime I give him a dentastix type thing in there. He skips happily into his crate when he sees me getting his kong or dentastix ready. So food is key here. The crate is in the front room now. We started with it in the back room as that's where we spend most of our time and I'd read that the crate needs to be in the heart of the home, etc. etc. but he wouldn't settle in it if we stayed in the room or moved through the room to the kitchen, so we spent many early weeks hiding out in other rooms of the house at nap time. Since DS went back to school I've moved the crate into the front room and it's so much better. I leave the radio on in there for him and he settles well and is less disturbed by household comings and goings and I can get on with stuff in the back room and kitchen. I think I've said here before that crate training is the only reason I survived the early weeks....it's definitely paid off, he's fab in the crate now.

Morning all
@BiteyShark thanks for that advice, will follow that plan and just live in hope that the biting stops one day.
Nice to hear updates from all and sorry to hear about the blues. Mine are still lingering but I had a little glimmer of hope yesterday.
I met a friend in the pub and took pup. We spent 3 hours there ( non alcohol :-( as driving) and pup was really good. Met lots of people and dogs and that was really nice. I need to find more places like that. She stuck the place out with her yucky pizzle but was a hint of the future.
Today she has an assessment at doggy daycare which she starts two days a week on Monday. Eek. Feels very young at 13 weeks but hopefully she will enjoy it.

@Riverhousepuppy glad you had a nice trip to the pub. I’m going to try that soon I think, definitely will take a stinky pizzle with us!

@desperatehousewife21 did you have a better night?

Well, no in a nutshell. DH slept on the kitchen floor but pup just joined him halfway through the night.
We’ve gone back to the crate, we’re thinking this might be better. Honestly we’ve changed our minds so many times with this dog! He liked the crate before (although woke a lot during the night as he was alone) DH is going to sleep next to it tonight with the door open.
We’ve got a kong freezing as we speak to give him in there at dinner tonight.

Ah that's a shame! I think the crate is a good shout. Do you think if you leave the door open he'll not get in bed with your DH again? We're still a little iffy from around 3.30am but he does usually do at least good 5 hour stint in his crate now.