I can't cope with this

[WentworthPrison]

I can't cope with my puppy (nearly 11 weeks). I'm exhausted. Her behaviour is extremely challenging (normal puppy stuff and beyond that). I am so low. I'm not enjoying any of it. I'm crying constantly, I've lost half a stone and getting no more than 5-6 hours sleep a night (she sleeps well in her crate but still needs loo stops and I struggle to get back to sleep). She needs constant supervision and I'm by myself doing that. She can't be left alone for even a few seconds as she'll eat something, chew something, poo, wee etc. I can crate her but it seems unfair to constantly do this. However I do need to go to the loo, shower etc. I can't even do this when she's asleep as she wakes up if I try. I knew it would be hard but i also thought I'd feel a deep love which would get me through it. I don't feel a bond at all as she's constantly lunging at me, biting me, growling and barking at me. I've spends £100s on extra stimulation toys etc but the problems persist.

I can't give her up. I'd be ashamed to admit I can't cope to my family and friends but I honestly really want to.

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel you sounds awful. Can’t you offer any support at all? I’d read loads about having a baby but nothing prepared me for how hard it would be and there were definitely times I needed help.

As it turns out so far having a puppy has been nothing like anything I read (or remembered as a child) and in a lot of ways much easier- but I’ve been lucky and my babies were difficult 😂 But it has been harder in ways I didn’t expect. It’s a new way of living and takes some adjusting and support (like having dc) but doesn’t mean our puppies are any less loved or cared for.

Oh and 8 weeks is perfectly normal for a puppy to go to a new home

Op how are you feeling today? You have a lot of great advice here.

I’m feeling bad, my 2 (9 weeks today) have d&v, I think I tried to change their food from dry to wet too soon

I got my puppy in June OP, I knew the first few weeks would be fairly shit, biting, grabbing, wee, poo, no sleep etc. But it doesn’t mean experiencing those crappy few weeks is any better just because you know its going to happen.

We’re now on week 9, the last week or so has actually been nice so I think we’re turning a corner, its a good job hes cute.

1. Biting, most puppies bite and lunge, its their play, but that doesn’t stop it hurting. For the first 4/5 weeks we were all bitten and bruised on a daily basis. I was the main victim, when I think about the top bites the winner has to be when I was sat down and he managed to bite my nose, luckily he didn’t pull my nose ring out.

1. Do you have room for a puppy pen? Link has a crate within a pen, this means we can do stuff, it also means my son (5) can have his toys out without them being eaten. Unless an adult is in the room he is in his pen, it stops him causing chaos, it also stops my son irritating him. We’ve just been on holiday and just took the crate, not having the pen was a nightmare as we had to so careful with toys, shoes etc. The pen has given us a lot of breathing space. He wasn’t a huge fan of the pen at first, so I started giving him treats every time I put him in his pen, he now likes it and will take himself in there to play with his toys/trash it. Yeah, sometimes he cries a little bit, so does my son, but that doesn’t mean I give in and do exactly what he wants.

1. Sleep, it took us four weeks for him to sleep through the night, although he didn’t last night. With one get up he was still weeing in the pen, so stopped night time toilet trips and now he is clean most nights.

1. When you can actually take them outside properly the difference is huge. Link was horrible for the first four weeks, once we could have short walks, visit people etc he was so much better. I had a trainer do some 1:1 sessions and we now do some group sessions. He is soo soo much better. In the last three weeks he has made so much progress and he is finally nice to be around.

I'm probably going to get slated for this, but all of mine have potty-trained just fine without me taking them out in the night,
Agreed. It might take a bit longer (or not - depends on the dog and on how early you get up), but it saves your sanity.

You are experiencing normal puppy behaviour.

1. Buy a flirt pole from amazon - this little beauty saved us when we couldn’t even go to the bin without dog lunging at us. We carried it beside us constantly

1. Check your food - I recommend Canagans as a good balanced food

1. Contact a behaviourist and video your dog when biting lunging - they will be able to tell you if it’s aggression (doubt it) and give you strategies to help either way.

1. Read Victoria Stilwell book on puppy training about what to do when dog bites

1. Ditch the playpen and let pup just follow you to shower and toilet. Mine enjoys biting my socks while I try pee

1. Sleep deprivation is common but worth it for toilet training. We got up every night with ours for the first 3 months. Zero accidents for the past month now (he’s just turned 6 months)

Thank you everyone. I've had an awful day and I honestly feel like I've made a huge mistake. I'm crying constantly. I think this is the straw that broke the camel's back in my shitty existence.

@WentworthPrison

Thank you everyone. I've had an awful day and I honestly feel like I've made a huge mistake. I'm crying constantly. I think this is the straw that broke the camel's back in my shitty existence.

Have you told anyone in rl how you feel? You would be amazed at how many people will offer to help.

Do you have friends with teenagers who can help?

I haven’t made it near the shower today, both pups have upset stomachs, I look and smell like shit - literally.

I’ve resorted to filling used containers with stones to shake about and let them chew on them instead of me. Do you have a garden op?

have PMd you OP.

Can we have a puppy picture pretty please?? Why has your day been awful?

I had two puppies at the same time, genuinely had a breakdown.

It gets better though

@WentworthPrison when you say you are doing it alone what is your actual set up , in the sense that would you be better off giving back the puppy and getting an older rescue dog that is more of a known quantity. It’s all very well people saying everybody gets the puppy blues and it gets better but that’s no good if your relationship with the dog has actually hit the buffers and your MH is suffering .

The food we swopped to was james wellbeloved which suited her so well

Current DDog is on chappie tins on advice of vet but he is 16 now (and my darling).

*Thank you everyone. I've had an awful day and I honestly feel like I've made a huge mistake. I'm crying constantly. I think this is the straw that broke the camel's back in my shitty existence.

@WentworthPrison*

So sorry to hear this. Is there other stuff going on as well?

Having a new puppy is HARD work and I didn't see it coming. You need to be quite robust and positive and maybe you're just not feeling that.
Sending you positive vibes OP and many posters on here are rooting for you.

I so hope you can see your way through this as I think your new, bitey, aggressive pup WILL develop ( with the right help and guidance ) into a great source of happiness and comfort for you.

I also thought my puppy was actually aggressive - if you yelped when bitten he got more excited and bit you again. If you turned away he leapt at the backs of your legs and bit them. I remember sitting on the edge of the worktop with my legs drawn up so he couldn’t nip me. I remember when walking up the street was a nightmare of biting and pouncing at my ankles/coat/scarf. He once climbed on the bus seat and when I bent over to put him on the floor he launched himself at the bobble on my hat and gave me a black eye. I was covered in bites and scratches. He drew blood. It was all normal and he did grow out of it. We had to leave the room whenever he bit as other methods didn’t work and gradually that did work. It gets better! We did puppy classes and everyone there thought their puppies were aggressive because nobody believed how horrible puppies are - none of them were aggressive.

@Kelcat9494

I had two puppies at the same time, genuinely had a breakdown.

It gets better though

Oh, I have two 9 weeks olds, it’s been a week and I believe we are still very firmly in the honeymoon period and I’m on annual leave, need to work from home as of Monday.... any tips please?

Ah Op there’s a reason we have a puppy survival thread and if you search the doghouse you will see hundreds (no exaggeration) of threads the same as yours.

You are at breaking point/you have a ‘defective‘ and ‘aggressive’ puppy/you can’t carry on/puppy isn’t following any of the rules you researched before getting her etc

She is only a baby. She has no idea what she is doing or how to control herself. It’s a very fine line between under and over stimulation, and if you get it wrong you have the devil in puppy form.

It will get better. Be consistent, get a routine, don’t expect miracles.

We’ve all been through it. I cried a lot at that stage!

Tips for having two puppies? Alcohol haha

Generally with them both being 9 weeks old I would suggest trying to do separate things with them occasionally like walking them separate, putting them to sleep separately as they can develop litter mate syndrome.

Other to that I would just keep them busy, before work try and tire them out and same on breaks - good thing about puppies is they sleep loads haha so hopefully they quiet down while you're at work xx

Alcohol - tick tick tick tick
Games and training - tick

I think the advantage of two is that I can already tell when they are ready for a sleep because the play turns a bit full on.

Op. Are you on your own?

Yeah I'm on my own.

Is it just you and pup or are there DC in the mix?

We can try and help you, if you want.

No harm in knowing it’s not working and moving on if that’s what you truly need to do .