Puppy survival thread! July/August! Roll up!

[Juiceey]

Here we go, hero puppy owners.

We've just got back from the vet where I was shocked to discover he now weights 4kg. Little lump! He's 19 weeks old tomorrow. Wonder how big he'll get? On a miniature poodle group I'm in the adults are anywhere between 6-12kg. I hope he's small as easier to carry about!

Name change but just on to update that pup did indeed have a uti - i have been so upset with worry. He has antibiotics and is doing great. Glad we spotted it before it got worse. It meant that he couldnt have his 2nd injections so that puts back the walking but clearly its more important he gets well first. Will keep trying to socialise him safely in the meantime.

GingerAndTheBiscuits they are the worst thing I have ever had the misfortune to smell grin
Oh wow! Doesn’t sound good IVe just ordered some “low odour” braided pizzles, but I imagine even they might need to be kept for outside use! I honestly never ever imaged I’d have reason to buy plaited bull penis

[quote GingerAndTheBiscuits]@AmigoDog they are the worst thing I have ever had the misfortune to smell [/quote]
this!!

@Worriesandwobbles glad he's on the mend now, well done for spotting it :)

@AmigoDog yeah, Ginger's right, they're pretty vile. I've bought myself some Scentsy wax warmers recently. They help a lot with both stinky pup and stinky chew issues...

@Worriesandwobbles glad pup is doing well. Hope he's fully recovered soon.

Good luck @OohMrDarcy. Hope pup settles in well.

Totally lost it here. My husband has gone to training this evening (only an hour long) and the dog won’t stop moaning and keeps looking for him.
The kids stuff hasn’t got any better, in fact it’s worse. He just chews on a lead so he’s not actually learning to interact nicely with them, just to prat about with the lead. I had the kids behind a gate just to get them chatting to him and they just lounge forward and squeal and get excited and then he starts barking and jumping up. Now I’m outside with him trying to calm him down and I can hear them fighting upstairs. Don’t know what to do. Watched so many videos, read so much, knew he’d bite. But I can’t stop my kids flapping and squealing so it’s just getting worse and worse. He doesn’t seem that fussed about his toys when I try and distract him (or in general really)
Basically feel like I made a massive mistake right now.

@Chocolateandamaretto

Totally lost it here. My husband has gone to training this evening (only an hour long) and the dog won’t stop moaning and keeps looking for him. The kids stuff hasn’t got any better, in fact it’s worse. He just chews on a lead so he’s not actually learning to interact nicely with them, just to prat about with the lead. I had the kids behind a gate just to get them chatting to him and they just lounge forward and squeal and get excited and then he starts barking and jumping up. Now I’m outside with him trying to calm him down and I can hear them fighting upstairs. Don’t know what to do. Watched so many videos, read so much, knew he’d bite. But I can’t stop my kids flapping and squealing so it’s just getting worse and worse. He doesn’t seem that fussed about his toys when I try and distract him (or in general really) Basically feel like I made a massive mistake right now.

I didn’t want to read and run so feel free to ignore as I’ve never had a puppy (now I have 2!) and my 3 DC are all grown or teens.

If I were you I’d remove all the toys and ask D.C. to be mum, help feed pup etc. How old are they all? May be a rota inc poo run!

Hats of to you, I couldn’t do toddlers and pups at the same time!!

Thanks, they’re 4,6 and 10. I’ve tried to get them to help but he just goes batshit immediately. We have a trainer coming over tomorrow in the hopes that she can advise us a bit more I just needed to write it down because I feel so fucking stupid and naive right now because I thought I was prepared and now I just feel ignorant.

It’s fine when it’s just me or dh. We were doing training sessions from kikopup today teaching him to be calm when you stroke him and reinforcing a calm settle and if everyone around him he is calm and soppy but it’s like a switch when the kids are about.

@Chocolateandamaretto I massively underestimated the difficulty of managing DS and dog interactions, so can understand how you feel. I think you're a few weeks behind us, and it does get easier, so don't give up hope. Hopefully the trainer can give you some tips. The trainer we saw certainly helped. DS still spends a lot of time in a different room, so every so often he comes to the door of the room me and pup are in and says 'can I come in?' which OwlPup instantly responds to by jumping up on the sofa, and laying down in that border collie way of waiting to herd wayward sheep. It's quite funny really. Then I pop the lead on him and DS comes in. OwlPup can control himself for a while before jumping off the sofa to try and jump up at DS. We have a frantic minute or so whilst pup tries to jump up and I try and keep him close to me (easier with proper treats, but kibble won't do) but eventually he calms down (if DS is calm) and then it's ok for a while (this evening we managed to all sit on the sofa together and watch a whole episode of Operation Ouch in relative calm, helped by a pizzle). Eventually though, DS can't keep it calm any longer and he gets fed up of me telling him stop this that or the other and then off he goes to the other room again to let off pent up energy. This scenario is repeated several times a day. Bloody exhausting! So, you know, it's still a work in progress but it is a massive improvement from 3 or 4 weeks ago. Fingers crossed the trainer helps. Would be interested to hear what they suggest. Hope you get to relax a bit this evening.

@Chocolateandamaretto rant on here all you like - it does help, as I know! We have all had low points with our pups and it does get better in the end, but I know how bad it can be and that's without the added problem that young dc add to the situation. You aren't stupid and you are probably better prepared than a lot of people and you are totally doing the right thing by having a trainer come to you. I got humped and bitten at Puppy School, with an audience of perfect pups and owners, so I really wish I'd done that myself!

I hear you @Chocolateandamaretto. My pup is 17 weeks and has brought me to tears with incessant jumping and mouthing at my 8 year old. She really targets him. I think it’s because he’s small, runs fast and squeaks like the perfect dog toy. I thought pup had turned a corner but today she had a mad few minutes and jumped and bit My sons arm (not badly, just mouthy). He was fine. I cried with frustration. He also won’t come in the room with her before checking “is she in a bitey mood?”. I despair regularly.

Thank you so much for your replies. I thought I was going to get a pasting for being a stupid noob buying a lockdown puppy. I’m relieved to hear I’m not the only one who has had a small meltdown over new puppy adjustment. You all sound so attentive and loving and knowledgeable about your dogs and I hope in time I’ll start to feel that bond too!
Pup fell asleep by my husband’s desk where he was waiting for him to get home, then was very pleased to see him and is now asleep next to DH on the sofa (after taking his bed out of his crate, dragging it about and chewing it...) DH had the 10 year old with him in the lounge and held pup whilst she stroked him as well which made me feel better. It’s given me a bit of space to calm down and remember that his toilet training and sleeping at night are going well so I haven’t completely failed him! I’m pretty bad for catastrophising and assuming that if I make one mistake I’m going turn him into a hellhound...It’s a bit hard to remind myself that I can’t know everything.

@Chocolateandamaretto sorry you had a rough day. From what I can see, this forum is lovely and supportive so dont worry about judgement. You obviously care very much about getting it right and I hope it gets easier for you. I feel like i am on an emotional roller coaster !

@Bethanemethane

I hear you *@Chocolateandamaretto*. My pup is 17 weeks and has brought me to tears with incessant jumping and mouthing at my 8 year old. She really targets him. I think it’s because he’s small, runs fast and squeaks like the perfect dog toy. I thought pup had turned a corner but today she had a mad few minutes and jumped and bit My sons arm (not badly, just mouthy). He was fine. I cried with frustration. He also won’t come in the room with her before checking “is she in a bitey mood?”. I despair regularly.

Sounds like a fantastic day for you all by the end, so lovely.

OMG the farts! Ffs , I’m transitioning their kibble to raw and introducing raw treats so it’s to be expected but, Vom, euk, stinky boys.

So I spend all my time toilet training 16 week old puppy. I watch him and let him out if he goes near the door! Then DH just is to engrossed in football and doesnt notice him at door or cant be bothered to get off his lazy ass to open it! And guess what!! we have accidents!! DH is fucking Moron!

I CANT DO THIS!!!

I have been awake now for the last 3 nights with no sleep due to this fucking puppy that i got talked into by DH and kid and I feel so trapped and fed up!

It’s pissing down with rain I’m crying puppy has shit everywhere in the night and I feel like walking out my house and never coming home again! Have 2 small DC, trying to do everything (DH didn’t book any time off so guess who it all falls back to?!)

I’ve read all the books, watched all the you tube dog training videos and I just want this all to be over... I’m at the end of my tether with it all!!!

Can I just give this dog back please?! He’s 8 weeks old and I honestly don’t think it will ever get better!

Sorry for the rant I had terrible PND with my first born and as stupid as it sounds I feel now like I felt then... completely trapped by this being that just takes up all my time and energy ( as well as looking after everyone and everything!)

Bunglemom unfortunately it can feel like that for several weeks. The difference was that it was my idea to get the dog and I didn't have any DC.

It will get better but it won't do that overnight so you need to get your DH to come up with solutions to help e.g. he takes over as soon as he is home to give you a break. He organises a trainer to come and do 1-1 lessons to give you the RL support (reading books is fine until you actually try and put it into practice as puppies tend to have their own ideas) so you don't feel like you are failing etc.

Oh Bunglemom I’m so sorry that you’re feeling like this. I think everyone on this thread can relate to you and hopefully it helps to know how common these feelings are. I too had read and watched so much, but it doesn’t prepare you for the reality does it?! I am 5.5 weeks in with a 13 week old toy poodle. I totally get the feeling of being trapped and bringing up past PND. It is getting a lot better for me - being able to take pup out helps hugely - but yes, at the start it feels relentless and just like having a newborn. Like you I’ve wondered so many times why the fuck I decided it would be a good idea to get this puppy that removes all my freedom. It will get better though. It has for everyone else on this thread so it will for you too.
How old are your dc? My Dd is only 6 and is totally incapable of helping out in any meaningful way (other than by modifying her behaviour which is a constant battle tbh) but it really helped me when DH stepped up a bit and gave me some time to switch off. He’s working too (from home) but just time here and there has really helped. We were in week 2 when I insisted that DH needed to be in charge of putting AmigoPup to bed and I’d do any night loo trips and the mornings. Not quite an even split - but knowing I can go to bed early with a book or switch off (to a certain extent) and enjoy a glass of wine has helped enormously. It was the evenings I dreaded most with Dd as a baby too so they felt especially triggering to me (for want of a better word). Would it be possible to do something similar with your DH and delegate one of your worst parts of the day?

I know I’ve not cracked it by a long shot and that I still have many battles ahead, but being part of these threads and reading that the majority of us are having the same or similar issues is so useful.

I echo what @BiteyShark said. This feeling is totally normal but will likely last for a few weeks. We also did it without children so I take my hat off to you! We had a rota so that every other night one person would do the night time wake ups and let the other sleep and then whoever had the least sleep overnight gets to stay in bed whilst the other gets up when pup wakes up for the day. In a couple of weeks pup should start sleeping better and everything is easier with more sleep! Keep going. You've got this....but make your DP share the load!

@Bunglemom as you can see just from this page i was feeling the same way yesterday. Our pup was very much wanted by all of us but bought to me to hysterical tears yesterday. I can’t speak from experience as to when or how it gets better but right now I am just having to trust that it does. My pup is 9 weeks so I’m in a similar place to you and feel like there is so much I need to be on top of. there is so much information out there telling you you MUST get this right or you will have a horrible dog forever and I think it’s easy to lose perspective and be too hard on yourself. Having people to rant to helped me enormously last night.

Your DH wanted the dog so I think you need to make it clear to him that he needs to be more involved with everything. It’s not fair on you at all to not get a break from him. If it’s a family dog you need to work together. Talk to him about what you need to make owning a dog more enjoyable.

I can say all this pragmatically but I know I’ll be back in a day or two stressed about something else....we can both do this but we have to be kind to ourselves x

Trying to do it all yourself is a real nightmare, I agree. I have now found it so much better now that dh has finally bonded with Muckypup thanks to Mucky being really good at doing all his cute puppy stuff for him now, sensible survival skills really to bond with the leader of the pack. It's taken a while though as this pup was my idea so I naturally did all the research into training and what we needed beforehand and then just carried on with it all. Two of you sharing it all really makes a huge difference and just a bit more maturity from the pup as well so that as time goes on things just all start to click a bit more. It is very much like having a baby but a baby that can run and bite you as well. A real baby would seem far easier now!

@Bunglemom i think we have all felt that way especially in the early days with no sleep. Getting a puppy was 100% my idea but DP helps so your DH needs to step up and take a turn at getting up during the night so you can sleep, nothing feels as bad when you arent tired. It does get better the turning point for us was when smileypup could get out for a walk, he was tired from the new sights and sounds so started sleeping better.

Smileypup has just turned 17wks and is finally housetrained (1 accident in 4 days) he has started barking at the back door to be let out.

We had to leave him for the first time to take DS to get his feet measured for school (he has asd so takes both of us to keep him calm) left smileypup in his crate, tv on, kong tyre with peanut butter in and another ball stuffed with treats, walk to park before hand to tire him out. We were gone 1.5hrs and for the first hour we watched him on the portal, he played with the tyre and ball for 30mins then his teddy bear for 10mins then settled down to sleep, the portal cut off and we got home half an hour later (couldnt hear any sound at all) to next door moaning that the dog had been barking and howling the whole time we were out these are the people who banged on the wall and threatened to report us to the council when my DD tripped over hitting the babygate against the wall and screamed because she split her head open. The other side (who had a key to come in and get him if he really was howling and barking) said he barked for 10mins max the whole time, so he obviously woke up, barked to be let out, realised we werent there and settled back down so i think it was a successful first attempt at leaving the house.

Just wanted to offer support we’ve had our puppy 8wks now, she was 16wks at the weekend and it was my DH dog I was very on the fence about getting a puppy as I was adamant I couldn’t cope with a “third child”. He has taken the lead as I actively stepped back from doing the Dog ‘organising’ as I do everything else for the house /life admin. It’s still been hard on all of us but sleep has got better and better it’s been 10-6am+ the last few weeks in her crate, plus I’ve now been doing crate time for 1.5hrs in the morning and an hour 2-3pm in the afternoon. It’s made a difference to me as he still gets to leave the house to go to work whilst I’m working from home with two children. Just knowing puppy is safe and happy chilling in the crate for a couple of hours during the day gives me a ‘mental break’ from that ooh god what’s she chewing now feeling hyper alert status. Plus I’ve been able to leave the house to nip to the shops etc. Toileting is 99% outside and biting has noticeably reduced a lot plus our 8yr has learnt if she sits still so does the dog mostly but if she flaps and is shouty so is the dog but it’s been a big learning curve with a few painful nips for her along the way.

I do have to keep prodding DH to work on training though as pup has turned into big lead puller I think we got lulled into false sense of security as he’s been walking her off lead in quiet rural place whilst I’ve been practicing morning walk to school route which is noisy with cars and people. She’s in the last week lost her ability to walk with out dragging us ridiculously