Does anyone have an untrained dog and a newborn??? Getting worried!!

[Foodx123]

So long story short, me and partner moved back in with his parents in April. I am currently 38 weeks pregnant and have been thinking a lot more about the fact there is a dog in the house. People always say German shepherds are "loyal" and "protective" etc and don't get me wrong he's a loyal dog (not to me!) but he was never trained or socialised in anyway at all. He's 3 years old and has calmed down a lot since I first met him but he hates anyone that isn't familiar to him. He was bought before I met my partner but apparently because they lived in a rough part of London they wanted him to be "aggressive" in case they were burgled or something. We now live in Cheshire and it's super peaceful and he's defo a lot better. However, if the doorbell goes and he will howl and howl and run to the door ready to attack. If I am alone I simply won't answer the door to save the embarrassment and obvious risk to that person!! If he was let loose he would be put down...! I wasn't too worried at first when we moved in because I said I would keep an eye on baby all the time and it would be okay etc.. until one morning the doorbell went and we have our own little living room which had her Moses basket in. The delivery man stood by the front window instead of the door for some reason and the door busted in the room jumped up to the window knocking the Moses basket over in rage because he wanted to attack this delivery guy on the opposite side of the window. I couldn't help think about there being a baby there!!! Today he went in her nursery which has had her play mats in for over a week and he hasn't once touched them but today he burst one of the inflatables whilst we weren't there. Don't understand why he would wait a week before destroying it if he wanted it!? I've spent £60 on stair gates which are only 76cm high!! Hoping they stop in going in the room but that doesn't seem that high. Don't know what to do other than have constant supervision day and night. Am I over reacting?? Feel like I can't complain and this isn't my house and the dog is my in-laws "baby" so don't see them doing much.

I would not be prepared to take any risk with my child. Your partner and family are ignorant. You need to get out of there ASAP.

@midnightstar66 Yes I completely get that. She asked if anyone had any experience so i gave mine. Not sure it helps telling her that there is no way she can go back into this house with that dog. Or giving accounts of babies being mauled. She’s in a horrible situation, one she is clearly very worried about. If she is unable to find alternative housing she will need to be more positive and address her situation. I think the op is clearly scared of this dog and possibley dogs in general. The fact her husband isn’t as concerned would maybe tell me he would put another perspective on the dogs behaviour, we don’t know. She does obviously need to be very careful but if she can’t change the situation she needs to face it head on without being terrified....

Your in laws sound totally irresponsible dog owners. The dog is untrained and overweight, it sounds as though his welfare is not considered at all.

The home is totally unsafe for a baby and it sounds as though nobody but you is willing to acknowledge that.

I think finding somewhere on your own is a good plan.

OP is 38 weeks pregnant. She does not have time to try and form a bond with the dog. An untrained and aggressive dog of any size is a danger to a newborn baby. The size of this dog adds an additional risk as a baby gate would not be a insurmountable barrier for the dog.

There is no way she can live in that house with a baby. There is no being more positive or facing up to it without being terrified. OP has done well to recognise the very real risk that her baby will be in. That risk should not be minimised.

Reading through your posts... this isn’t an untrained dog, untrained is pulling on a lead, doesn’t sit when you tell it, getting a bit jumpy up and over friendly with visitors.

This is a dog with some fairly serious behavioural issues...and dangerous.

They all need to stop pretending a bit of training is going to resolve anything. This is a major issue that if it had any chance of being sorted, the work needed to start months ago.

If you really really can’t move out, you need to alter your set up so you’re not around the dog at all with the baby and nobody else gets to be either. If he’s tried to bite a child while being held, there’s no reason he wouldn’t do it again in a similar situation.

One bite can kill a baby.

I’m aware that sounds over dramatic - for reference, I’m totally a dog person, had dogs with my children when they were newborns and I’ve had dogs with behavioural issues.

I opened the thread expecting it to be about someone worried about their baby being licked or some other paranoia...

This isn’t you being paranoid, if anything you’re not worried enough.

Why does your partner have so little insight? You can't trust him with your baby.

Where is your job? I would go to the area where that is or where you used to live and present to housing dept. You need to leave now - your baby could arrive at any time.

@helpmum2003

Why does your partner have so little insight? You can't trust him with your baby.

Where is your job? I would go to the area where that is or where you used to live and present to housing dept. You need to leave now - your baby could arrive at any time.

I definitely wouldn't leave my partner alone with the baby since I've now discovered his attitude towards the situation. He tells me the dog is "dopey" and wouldn't do anything but he's obviously judging the dog on how his behaviour is around us which isn't aggressive. He's never harmed any of us and is always happy to see me and play with me. However, I am 100% aware this has no bearing on how he would react around a newborn and I am trying to do all I can to fix this. My job was in London and I lived in Essex so it would be the case of moving back down that way. I've left a voicemail with the housing association up here in Cheshire but haven't got a response back yet. A lot of people are telling me to move right now but I haven't got the money to do that alone and I am trying all I can to see where I stand with it emergency housing. I am not on any form of benefits so I'm sure I do not qualify. However, like I said I am waiting to hear back! :)

The local housing association will have a waiting list that’s years long. And you probably don’t qualify to even go on it as you have no local connection.

They have no duty to provide emergency housing unless they are doing this on behalf of the council, who have the statutory duty.

You need to rent privately if you have cash.

Or present as homeless to the council where you have been living for the last few years, which would be in Essex.

Why didn’t you phone some letting agencies ?

@SHAR0N

The local housing association will have a waiting list that’s years long. And you probably don’t qualify to even go on it as you have no local connection.

They have no duty to provide emergency housing unless they are doing this on behalf of the council, who have the statutory duty.

You need to rent privately if you have cash.

Or present as homeless to the council where you have been living for the last few years, which would be in Essex.

Why didn’t you phone some letting agencies ?

No they get back to me I am not eligible. I don't have money to get a place on my own since I had to fund everything after my partner was laid off due to Corona. I've got 2 months left of maternity pay before I drop to statutory which is £600 a month. I've been looking through private listings most of the day but I'd have to move back down where my job is and prices are about £800/£900 for a one bed flat. (We paid £1100 previously) Up north it's a lot cheaper but with bills I'd still have to pay £600 plus on bills and it's simply impossible unless my partner came with me but with his attitude doesn't seem like he would. If I had the funds I wouldn't be living here now and never would have because I'd never put my daughter in danger but this year has been really really crap!

How will it work when you go back to work anyway if you're partner has a job in Cheshire and you work in London? Surely he needs to look for work where you need to live long term?

If your partner is working now why can’t you get your own place?

Fucking hell love your baby is going to be dead within a week of being born and you're still there. Doesn't matter how much it costs or how much debt you get into surely

Another case of the clueless getting a dog. Poor dog 😞 This won’t end well.

Move out OP. Don’t blame the dog. The idiot owners are to blame 🤬

Surely you would qualify for housing benefit?

Have you read www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_doghouse/3944399-gsd-just-tried-to-bite-ds-4?pg=1

Dog still managed to attack with the parent in the room.

I would beg borrow and steal enough for a deposit on a one bedroom flat somewhere away from the mutt. Nobody in that house will pay the slightest attention to your concerns. Your baby will get hurt. Get a money transfer credit card. Take a loan out. Anything to get out of there.

Can you ring women's aid?

It sounds like you are in an abusive relationship if your dp won't listen to you about your very valid concerns of having a baby in a dangerous situation.

Have you presented to local housing office? Advice such as @SHAR0N’s upthread doesn’t necessarily apply to you.

So move and get your own place. Or are you expected them to get rid of their dog!

I really feel for you.

In your place, I’d borrow from friends and family. I’d rent a caravan- which is actually perfect with a newborn. Not too much cleaning!

It will be tough as you need to act quickly, but you will be so at risk of pnd in that situation. So, so exhausted anyway- but you won’t be able to relax even when your baby is asleep
Ignore any talk of ‘it’s your hormones ’ - it’s your brain and instinct, and your worries are spot on.

Do you trust your bf and his parents 100%

If you ever leave the baby with them and step out of the room for a second you will need to trust them 100% to look after the baby, never set it down.

Try bringing a doll into the house. Make a fuss of it. See what happens.

The dog has already tried to bite a child because your mil was holding it.

How can you protect the baby? Every second?

How are you @Foodx123?

Is there really no way you can move back in with your mum? I know you've already said about her having your 4 siblings living there but given how dangerous the current situation is I think 7 of you crammed into one house for a few months would be better than the risk of this dog hurting or potentially killing your child. I love dogs but given what you've said you can not have your baby in that house.

Op I’ve just read this, I think it’s easy to underestimate how much you will love your baby when it arrives and how traumatic this situation will actually be whilst also going through the newborn phase, you won’t be able to sleep with worry once your baby is here. You need to get out or get them to get the dog out.

I also think you need to find alternative accommodation. I have two babies in the house, a 9 week old and a 7 month old (I foster) and a young dog but my dog is trained and I never, ever leave the dog with access to the babies. If I need to leave the room for whatever reason either the babies come with me or the dog does. It take the blink of an eye for a dog to bite and there is no way you can guarantee that your in-laws or your DP will be as vigilant as you will be.