Does anyone have an untrained dog and a newborn??? Getting worried!!

[Foodx123]

So long story short, me and partner moved back in with his parents in April. I am currently 38 weeks pregnant and have been thinking a lot more about the fact there is a dog in the house. People always say German shepherds are "loyal" and "protective" etc and don't get me wrong he's a loyal dog (not to me!) but he was never trained or socialised in anyway at all. He's 3 years old and has calmed down a lot since I first met him but he hates anyone that isn't familiar to him. He was bought before I met my partner but apparently because they lived in a rough part of London they wanted him to be "aggressive" in case they were burgled or something. We now live in Cheshire and it's super peaceful and he's defo a lot better. However, if the doorbell goes and he will howl and howl and run to the door ready to attack. If I am alone I simply won't answer the door to save the embarrassment and obvious risk to that person!! If he was let loose he would be put down...! I wasn't too worried at first when we moved in because I said I would keep an eye on baby all the time and it would be okay etc.. until one morning the doorbell went and we have our own little living room which had her Moses basket in. The delivery man stood by the front window instead of the door for some reason and the door busted in the room jumped up to the window knocking the Moses basket over in rage because he wanted to attack this delivery guy on the opposite side of the window. I couldn't help think about there being a baby there!!! Today he went in her nursery which has had her play mats in for over a week and he hasn't once touched them but today he burst one of the inflatables whilst we weren't there. Don't understand why he would wait a week before destroying it if he wanted it!? I've spent £60 on stair gates which are only 76cm high!! Hoping they stop in going in the room but that doesn't seem that high. Don't know what to do other than have constant supervision day and night. Am I over reacting?? Feel like I can't complain and this isn't my house and the dog is my in-laws "baby" so don't see them doing much.

@Purplequalitystreet

Oh God OP this sounds so dangerous. Are ever going to feel brave enough to put baby down on the floor to kick and roll around? You can hold them as a tiny newborn but after a few weeks they need freedom to move. How does the dog cope with noise?

Only with a gate and me in the room at all times. He is okay with noise but sometimes I will open my door and it'll startle him and he will bark. Even barks at me sometimes and he can see me. But he's never even met a baby so I haven't got a clue how he would react with baby noise.

the other day I was told in just a general conversation that my MIL had her nephew sitting on her lap in this house and she was giving him attention etc and the dog went and bite the boy, tearing his clothes (out of jealously I presume)

You do realise if anything does happen you will most likely be charged with child neglect / endangerment etc and end up in prison as well as losing your child?

Stop attributing human emotions like jealousy and thought patterns to what is actually a predatory animal. It doesn't work like that. It's a case of stimulus - response. Stimulus in the environment (or chain reaction of stimuli) activates a behavioural response.

Things might be fine for a few days or weeks and then your baby will move or cry in a way that triggers a predatory response in the dog. Clearly none of you will have much chance of stopping it once it attacks.

You're in an environment where ultimately you have no way to prevent your baby from being killed.

But he's never even met a baby so I haven't got a clue how he would react with baby noise.

Like you've just brought a prey animal into the house.

@user1972548274

the other day I was told in just a general conversation that my MIL had her nephew sitting on her lap in this house and she was giving him attention etc and the dog went and bite the boy, tearing his clothes (out of jealously I presume)

You do realise if anything does happen you will most likely be charged with child neglect / endangerment etc and end up in prison as well as losing your child?

Stop attributing human emotions like jealousy and thought patterns to what is actually a predatory animal. It doesn't work like that. It's a case of stimulus - response. Stimulus in the environment (or chain reaction of stimuli) activates a behavioural response.

Things might be fine for a few days or weeks and then your baby will move or cry in a way that triggers a predatory response in the dog. Clearly none of you will have much chance of stopping it once it attacks.

You're in an environment where ultimately you have no way to prevent your baby from being killed.

Hi,

Yes I am 100% aware of that and it is exactly why I would never ever own a dog which I had no idea how to train, control, look after etc. But in this situation I have no choice and it would seem like everyone wants me to "work around it". The safest option for me is to find a new place to live so I can have my baby laying there freely without the worry of something terrible happening.

Completely agree with the above post and can’t believe how blasé you’re being about this.
I would be looking at one bedroom flats to rent in the cheapest area I could find and moving.

This is very worrying. Babies are strange to the best mannered of dogs. They smell weird, they make piercing noises, they move unpredictably. All of these things are especially worrying if your dog has a hair trigger. Mine is a very gentle mild mannered large breed but I still wouldn’t trust him, he’s clumsy and gets mouthy (not properly bitey but enough to nip and cause a bruise) when he’s over excited. The potential from a more aggressive dog would give me the chills. I agree that separating the two at all times is a must. Have you discussed it with your IL’s? Are they aware of the danger the dog poses and do they acknowledge that something needs to be done about it?

FWIW, proper ‘guard dogs’ are actually very highly trained and though I still would not consider them family dogs or ever trust them with a baby, young child or vulnerable person, they are definitely not dogs that are just left untrained to their own guarding tendencies. Having an untrained, aggressive dog is not the same as having a guard dog for protection purposes.

I’d be straight down to your local housing office. Explain the situation, that because of Corona you’ve lost your house, your partner is employed locally and having lived with the dog you know realise it’s very unsafe. Depending on your local authorities housing stock you could be in a new home very swiftly. It’s also a good idea to log the situation with housing regardless, as pp have said your midwife or health visitor could have concerns and having already shown you’re prioritising your baby’s safety is a good idea. Has rehoming the dog been mentioned? He sounds hard work at the very least and your in-laws might be pleased to have an ‘excuse’ to rehome him.

You will never forgive yourself if something happens your baby.
Start looking now for the cheapest flat you can find.

Everyone posting here understands that it’s not easy or convenient for you to move.

However you are risking the health and perhaps even the life of your new born baby if you stay there. The other adults in the house don’t see a problem and they will NOT protect your baby.

They will say “ Ah bless, look he really loves her , he’s licking her face “ and next thing dog will grab baby and shake it.

OP you cannot trust your in-laws to protect your baby from the dog.

They haven't trained him, they over-feed him, they ignore his stress and aggression. They don't event acknowledge your concerns about safety.

The dog is not happy, and introducing a newborn baby is a real risk.
Please find a place of your own - having your first baby is tough enough without worrying if it is going to get bitten when you're not there.

Present to the councils as homeless. This is not a lie as the current home barely sounds safe for you let alone a newborn. There isn't no options. If you are on a low income then you can get housing benefit/UC support with rent. You'll have to manage like so many of us do as you cannot being your baby in to that house. Its not fair to not even be able to lie her on the floor. The dog sounds like it could just barge through a gate anyway, I'd certainly not trust it not to!

OP having a newborn is stressful enough without this on top. I really think you should see if you can find somewhere else. If you are eligible for social housing, you would be high priority with a newborn.

Like a PP said, you will never forgive yourself if something happens

Thank you guys. Had a word with my partner who's just got back from work. Surprised to hear he thinks my motherly instincts are just in overdrive and I have "nothing to worry about" Upset to say the least. I will be having a word with the council to see if there is anything they can offer! I am not on low income or anything and I am actually receiving full pay maternity for the time being so not sure where I'll stand with getting help with housing/baby costs etc! But I will get speaking to someone ASAP.

Boyfriend is a twat but then you knew this because he's the one who decided it would be a good idea to have an aggressive untrained dog.

You may need to present to the council as homeless and get into a hostel. It won't be great but it will be safe and you can start again.

Sorry, but no way would I bring a newborn into a house with an unruly dog.

I'd rather live in a bedsit/b and b/anywhere else.

NB baby gates don't always work with a determined dog - they can easily jump over them. I know this as our rescue dog did this and then chewed the bottom stair carpet in about 4 minutes flat

If you have money then contact some letting agencies today. They are still letting properties if you have an urgent need to move, which you do.

If you have no money then present as homeless to the council. “ Having a word with them to see if there’s anything they can offer “ will not work.

Wow- ok sounds like you need to take matters in to your own hands here as your partner is deluded. Last year near me a 6 week old baby was mauled by a terrier. I believe the little boy, although was critical, survived however likely to be scarred. This was a tiny terrier - I don't think the result would have been the same with a GSD. Dog only needs to slip by once!

You don’t have time to mess about with this if you are 38 weeks. They might be closed at The weekend so phone today. Agents need time to check references etc.

Will your last landlord give you a good reference ?

Have you moved a long way from your old home to your Bfs parents ? Because if so you might need to present to your own council, as living there for a few weeks won’t be counted as a local connection.

You do seem really blasé about it tbh. Why bother asking for advice? Everyone has said you need to move.

I raised two children with a German Shepard. She had been my baby for 4 years before I had my children and I was extremely worried about bringing the baby home. Although she did have some training and was excellent at recall while out and sit, down etc. She was the sweetest dog ever but when it came to someone knocking at the door or coming into the house it was a different story. You would think she was possessed. We did actually come home to an intruder being pinned on the ground in the garden with her standing over him - had not bitten him at all.......
There was no way I was giving my dog up so I had to make it work. We were so very careful at first and introduced the the dog to the baby very slowly and carefully. Don’t get me wrong at no point did I get complacent but my girl, at no point, ever showed any aggression towards the baby. Her barking and anxiety became worse if someone knocked at the door and she didn’t leave our side while out - and she became more reactive to anyone coming near us but never went for anyone, it was more barking. I had another baby and it was much the same. We would have to put her in another room if anyone came round, she would settle eventually but no one but us could go near the children, although she had never bitten anyone it wasn’t worth the risk. As my children grew she wouldn’t leave their side, inside and outside she wouldn’t let them out of her sight. She was always with them and was a huge part of their life’s.

While I truly do know how worried you are you have admitted that you don’t like the dog. This doesn’t help with him bonding with you so is perhaps picking up on that. The best scenario would be to move out but as that isn’t possible you need to take things really carefully and slowly. To suggest that your baby will be put on some sort of child at risk register is an overreaction i think. Can you try and spend some time with the dog and try and bond a little - it sounds as though you may be scared of the dog and not really understand the difference between guarding and aggression.

Agree with pp saying having a word with housing isn’t he way to go forward. You need to emphasise that your current housing situation is unsafe. Talk to your midwife.

@0Susana0 your situation was entirely different though - this was your dog who you knew and trained and who was likely different to this dog anyway. You also weren't in the position where you were in a household with multiple other adults who don't think it's a problem, therefore will not keep baby safe. As a op stated this is not a guard dog - guard dogs are highly trained, this one is just a dog who had been left to its own devices and and encouraged to be aggressive!

You can't take a baby into that house. Babies are so tiny - that dog could carry your baby off like a toy if it gets jealous (and it's clearly shown it sometimes does get jealous and act aggressively). Your baby wouldn't be safe and you need to find an alternative living situation or they need to temporarily regime the dog. I can't believe your in laws can't see that??!!

OP, please trust your instincts. As others have said, the fact your partner and his family don't see the potential for a dangerous problem means that they will be complacent and you'll not be able to trust your baby to their care either. And that includes your partner unfortunately. What kind of situation is that to be in?