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The doghouse

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Original poster

Chased Out Of Dog Park

140 replies

DaffodilDilly · 01/03/2020 13:43

Just been to our local dog park as i do every day, usually twice a day. I've got a Lab who is 14 months old. Mostly well behaved with good recall.
This is a designated dog park and 99% of the dogs are off lead. They all run around together quite happily
Well today a lady was walking a small dog, she saw us walking towards her and picked up her dog. Well, my lab saw this and jumped up at the dog. I quickly got him off and put him on the lead. I apologised to the lady and said if she left her dog on the ground my dog would have just walked past it.
She started swearing at me, took my photo and demanded money for her dirty coat.
She then followed me so I had no choice but to leave the park. All the time she was asking for my address and money.
I said I had no money, just poo bags and my phone.
I said she should expect to get dirty in the dog park and most people wear old clothes.
I was muddy and a few smaller dogs had jumped up at me. it doesn't bother me.
I've not seen this lady before and it really shook me up.
Was I in the wrong?

OP posts:
TeacupRex · 01/03/2020 15:07

Whilst obviously hindsight is 20/20 (in the future you will know to pop him on lead if another walker decides to pick their dog up and well as working on training him to ignore) am I the only person who thinks the other woman's response was over the top.. Yes in an ideal world all dogs would be perfectly trained, behaved and bombproof, but the reality is often nothing like this..

I don't know, I've just come to accept that when you're walking in dog parks, you don't wear your brand new clothes (especially not in this weather). Dogs have jumped up at me with their muddy paws, or tried to shove their slobbery chops into my treat bag, no, this is not good behaviour. It happens sometimes, it's a mistake. The owners need to work on this with training. The coat/trousers just go in the wash, I don't feel the need to hound someone for money, get aggressive or take pictures to shame them.

Stellaris22 · 01/03/2020 15:08

OP do you know any other dog owners in the park? I hope this doesn't put you off going again in the future. Jumping up isn't ideal and shouldn't be allowed, but these things happen. I've had bad experiences with none dog owners being aggressive to me, similar to what you experienced, but it's people walking into the dog area part of the park to hassle me even when mines calm and on lead. It's horrible and some people just massively over react.

Wolfiefan · 01/03/2020 15:08

If you’re in the U.K. then your dog wasn’t under control and she could actually report you for having a dangerous dog.
If your dog jumped up at my elderly mother then she would end up in hospital. It’s completely unacceptable.
You’re not the one who should feel “scared”. She is likely to be scared. Of the bloody great hooligan dog who could wreck her coat or knock her off her feet. Confused

heatseeker14 · 01/03/2020 15:09

I would never expect money from someone because their dog put mud on my coat. Ridiculous IMO. Don’t let one incident stop you from going to the dog park, Daffodil. Do your best to learn from the experience and move on.

Clymene · 01/03/2020 15:10

A dog park is for dogs off lead. If she doesn't want dogs coming up to her dog, she should just walk it on a lead outside the park

PrincessHoneysuckle · 01/03/2020 15:10

Shes probably put you on facebook if shes took your photo.

Saucery · 01/03/2020 15:11

The woman sounds more than capable of holding her own, however. What with all the shouting, swearing and demanding money.
She picked her own dog up, so any mud on her coat could have come from that.

teacherwidow · 01/03/2020 15:14

@DaffodilDilly I'm an anxious dog owner - so I fully panic if another dog comes within 83 miles of me, my little dog was trampled by a larger dog when he was a puppy so I always fear the worst. She may have been through something similar. Lesson learnt, but her aggressive behaviour wasn't acceptable either way..

JeremyIronsBenFolds · 01/03/2020 15:19

Sorry, you’ve been shaken up, OP - I had an almost identical incident when my dog was an adolescent, expect it was a man with a puppy. My dog didn’t touch him but made a little leap at the pup in his arms - he went absolutely psycho at me, saying he was going to fuck me up, if he saw my dog again he would stab it, my dog was out of control, I was fucking cunt, you name it.... I was absolutely terrified! It really shook me up and I didn’t walk the dog on my own for ages afterwards. I also doubled down on recall and even to this day about 8 years later I put my dog on a lead if someone is coming the other way. Unless you have 100% control over you dog I just don’t think it’s worth the risk - some people are very frightened of dogs, and other people like the guy I met are just aggressive arseholes. It is ultimately your responsibility to have your dog under control.

Original poster
DaffodilDilly · 01/03/2020 15:21

Yes I know most of the people in the dog park, I've been coming here a few years and I just wish some of them were in there at that time.
@Wolfiefan as I said, he doesn't jump up at people when they are on there own, we've worked hard on that. There are numerous elderly people that walk their dogs in the dog park, he has never once jumped up at any of them.
We obviously need to work on not jumping up when carrying a furry animals!
Incidentally it is purely a dog park and is named as such. No children's play area or anything else, just a gravel path, trees and bushes and right now, lots of mud and puddles.
And I think I have a right to feel scared of her vicious verbal attack.
I'm not on Facebook, altho some of my family are. I don't know where she would post a photo

OP posts:
Original poster
DaffodilDilly · 01/03/2020 15:25

@JeremyIronsBenFolds I'm sorry you went through that..It was just the pure aggresion that upset me. I would gueas the lady was in her 40's so not elderly, not that her afe matters.
I will definately be putting him on a lead in future but if I'm doing that I may as well just walk him around the street.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 01/03/2020 15:31

He did jump up.
That could have been very scary for her.
It doesn’t matter that it’s a dog park. You need to have your dog under control. You didn’t.
You acting like he did nothing wrong and she’s BU is probably why she was pissed off at you. Can’t you see that?

lilmoopoo · 01/03/2020 15:36

My mum has a small dog who has been injured a few times by bigger dogs. She is easily injured ending in very expensive vet bills. I don't think my mum would take too kindly to being told by another dog walker 'to put her dog down' to stop their dog jumping up. I'm sorry, but this is down to op. Yes it could have been handled better but I don't think I'd take kindly to being told to put my dog down and putting her in potential danger if I felt there was one! The lady's dog may well have been hurt in the past or possibly isn't great round bigger dogs

I wouldn't be charging people for a dirty coat though, in this weather it's common sense that your going to get at least a little dirty

itadakimas · 01/03/2020 15:38

@DaffodilDilly on second thoughts, maybe your dog suspected her of dognapping and was attempting a rescue Shock You never know Wink

Sorry if I made you feel like you had to 'prove' you were training your dog.

Everything being said, nobody was hurt, dogs are dogs, and the lady was a bit of an opportunist. I'm sorry you felt you had to empty your pockets to show her.

If it makes you feel any better, my dog mortifies me on a daily basis. It's like a game - "How can I embarrass my human today?". on the plus side, my tolerance for humiliation is bomb-proof Grin

If you want to try some new routes for a bit, do so (might be good if she seems like she'll try and extort money out of you again when she next sees you), but please don't let her bully you out of the park. You and your pooch will be missing out. It's just a learning experience right?!

Stellaris22 · 01/03/2020 15:49

Mine likes to embarrass me too! The lady chasing you sounds very aggressive and unpleasant and the reaction was completely OTT. As others said, why go to a dog park in your best clothes? Most experienced owners know not to wear best clothes, maybe she's new to dog ownership? Chalk this down to experience but unfortunately it seems the norm to be aggressive to other dog owners now.

Original poster
DaffodilDilly · 01/03/2020 16:14

As I said, my dog was taking no notice of hers atall, he was busy finding sticks in the bush. he only jumped up when he noticed her carrying her dog. Yes I apologised and yes my dog was wrong. As soon as it happened he was put on the lead and we left the park, closely followed by the irate lady.
I now know I was wrong, and if I see someone about to pick up their dog I will put mine on a lead.

What I don't expect is a barrage of abuse and demanding money with menaces.
I havn't come across an aggressive dog owner before, everyone in the dog park is very tolerant to each other and I guess it just shocked me.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 01/03/2020 16:17

I bet it shocked her more to end up wearing your dog.
And your attitude here didn’t suggest you apologised profusely etc etc. They may well have helped make her response less aggressive.

TheVanguardSix · 01/03/2020 16:24

Her reaction was OTT but, as an owner of a jumper (lab-viszla cross), you have got to train and train hard OP.
I did the puppy classes and all of the general training, but some issues are more breed-specific, so I approached our amazing drill sergeant of a local trainer to help me learn (one-on-one) what I needed to do with regards to my dog's specific behavioral stuff.
You only need to do this once, maybe twice- the one-on-one time with your local dog trainer (ideally the one who you've done classes with because she'll know your dog), get the tools you need, then just work with your loving, well-meaning dog.

missyB1 · 01/03/2020 16:26

Ohh ffs! so many Mumsnetters always insist their dogs are perfect and any dog that isn’t is “out of control” 🙄
Meanwhile back in the real world... dogs off lead in the dog park = mud and mayhem, exactly the reason why my (small) dog loves going there! Dog owners who don’t like other dogs shouldn’t go to the dog park, and dog owners who have a breakdown over a bit of mud need therapy!

OP you had a run in with a weirdo who was looking for a fight. Don’t let it damage your confidence with your dog.

Original poster
DaffodilDilly · 01/03/2020 16:27

Oh @wolfiefan She wasn't wearing my dog, he jumped up once, I immediately put him on a lead and apologised, saying to her that he only jumped as she picked her dog up and he was ignoring it before hand, and suggested she put it down. (which I now see was wrong)
She then starting firing abuse calling me names and demanding cash.
I did apologise and asked for her address so I could find out the cost of dry cleaning a coat and send her a cheque. Even if I was carrying cash I wouldn't have just handed it over. She refused to give me her address so what else could I do?

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 01/03/2020 16:32

Once could break my mother’s hip. Hmm
You effectively blamed her for your dog’s bad behaviour by saying it was her fault for picking her dog up. That’s hardly an apology.

BiteyShark · 01/03/2020 16:35

We have all had moments when our dogs have done something stupid.

However, how you handle that I think goes a long way to how the person on the receiving end of a badly behaved dog responds.

If my dog did something stupid I apologise and acknowledge that it's my fault for not preventing it. If someone apologies to me for their dogs actions I sympathise and usually offer some solidarity that dogs can be arseholes sometimes.

However, if someone blamed ME for their dogs actions then I would be pissed off. So in this situation where you blamed them for your dogs actions because they picked their dog up (irrespective of whether you think it was right or not) then yes I think you probably made that situation worse than it needed to be had you simply apologised straight away.

LochJessMonster · 01/03/2020 16:40

I think your lack of proper apology is what caused her reaction.
In the future just apologise profusely and don’t try to put it back on her.

Dogs aren’t perfect and these things happen but ultimately you were in the wrong on this one.

Original poster
DaffodilDilly · 01/03/2020 16:41

@Wolfiefan if I was in danger of breaking a hip from a dog jumping up i certainly wouldn't walk around a dog park full of loose dogs.
As I say, I did apologise and offered a cheque.
I have now realised that I shouldn't have asked her to put her dog on the ground but I thought it would diffuse the situation.
Lesson learnt.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 01/03/2020 16:42

You thought telling her off would diffuse the situation?
And elderly people or children shouldn’t be out at a dog park in case some owners can’t control their dogs?
I can see why she was pissed off with you TBH.