Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Help with naughty dogs!

134 replies

Ribbon14 · 03/01/2020 09:16

Hi all,

I have 2 male pugs, one has just turned one and the other is nearly 4 months. We also have 3 cats (yes we are mad!).
I do love the dogs but they are driving me mental at the moment. I work from home so am here with them all day while my husband is at work. Basically they are both completely obsessed with food (especially the older one) and will stop at nothing to get it. They also eat everything on the floor... All sorts of random crap they shouldn't have and then I get the blame. The older one barks like a lunatic any time anyone knocks the door, they bite the skirting boards and doors, bark and chase the cats, eat the cats' food despite the fact its in a separate room with a cat flap (older one can headbutt door open!)

I've tried my best to train them but it just isn't working and my husband is in denial saying they behave for him so putting the blame on me. My whole day revolves around managing them. Has anyone got any suggestions?

OP posts:
Boristhecats · 03/01/2020 17:45

My life did revolve around my dog. He was a springer. Walked in the woods for 1.5 hrs everyday. Training in the afternoon. Playing with him on and off during the day. Another walk in the evening.

YippeeKayakOtherBuckets · 03/01/2020 17:46

Tbh I think for a lot of people on this board there lives DO revolve around the dogs.

I have three kids and a nearly ft job so they are not my 100% focus, but I do give them everything I can. And in real life you’ll find most people are the same really. Don’t feel bad. I know so many people with dogs who never get walked and are crated for 6hrs plus every day.

You’ve been dealt a shitty hand a most of this should fall on your ‘D’H and not you. If you didn’t care you wouldn’t be here asking.

YippeeKayakOtherBuckets · 03/01/2020 17:46

Their

And

Jesus wept.

Original poster
Ribbon14 · 03/01/2020 17:49

Thanks for your experiences. I guess I isn't realise just how much attention they need... If my dh helped more it would be easier. I just feel like I have no life atm

OP posts:
adaline · 03/01/2020 17:50

I feel like a few of you obviously think I'm a terrible owner but honestly I love these dogs to pieces even though they're bloody hard work. As a question to those of you who say I'm not doing enough with them, does your life revolve around your dog?

I don't think you're a terrible owner - I think you have good intentions but unfortunately that's not always enough. Young dogs are a lot of work - even pugs. They need walks, training, stimulation - on a daily basis. You can't just opt out because you're tired or busy or have to go to work. If your health and lifestyle mean you can't meet your dogs needs, then it's not fair on them if you keep them.

My life doesn't completely revolve around my dog but I know his needs often need to take priority over my own. He can't let himself out. He can't take himself for a walk. He needs to me to stimulate him and to provide him with exercise and entertainment. He also needs me to train him in order for him to be pleasant to be around. I put in hours of training when he was young in order to have an adult dog who I enjoy. We went to weekly training classes, which were topped up by additional training at home several times a day. He still has to do things like sit for his meals, wait before he goes outside etc.

If I knew I couldn't do all those things, I wouldn't have got a dog. On work days, it means DH or I get up at 6am to ensure he gets a walk before we take him to my in-laws for the day. Even if it's pissing rain, even if we're ill - he needs his walk. Yes, it's time consuming and it can be extremely frustrating some days, but I chose to get him - he's my responsibility and he deserves my time and effort. He didn't choose this life, after all.

RandomMess · 03/01/2020 18:13

We have a rescue dog (was at least 2), 2 cats and there were 4 DC but eldest has moved out.

That means 5/6 humans to 3 pets. Between us they get enough fuss and attention.

DDog is a lap princess and doesn't like poor weather. She will happily walk all day, or just snooze/cuddle instead.

I have never wanted kittens or puppies they are bloody hard work.

Life does revolve around not leaving the dog home I. Her crate for more than 7/8 hours. DH works from home and she sleeps from 8am-4pm minimum Mon-Fri then gets worn out all evening and weekend.

4 pets to 2 humans when you both work is a lot. 2 puppies sounds utterly exhausting.

Original poster
Ribbon14 · 03/01/2020 18:18

@adaline you are right of course. I'm going to somehow try to do more even if my husband won't help but it will be hard

OP posts:
Stellaris22 · 03/01/2020 18:18

My life does t revolve around my dog, daughter comes first and always will do.

Dog gets two walks a day, lots of socialising with doggy pals, but I'm sure she knows she isn't the most important thing. Should say that when daughter is in bed, dog knows this is her time for attention and gets lots of sofa cuddles.

Branleuse · 03/01/2020 18:33

My life definitely doesnt revolve round my dog. Thats why I got one lovely chilled out, housetrained older rescue dog rather than 2 puppies.

Original poster
Ribbon14 · 03/01/2020 18:47

I tried to have a discussion with my dh and its pointless... Doesn't listen to me and just says they're fine with him and let's get rid of them if they're such a burden to you. :( feel so unsupported

OP posts:
Branleuse · 03/01/2020 18:51

Hes calling your bluff.
Id call his back and tell him you want to get rid as this situation is unsustainable

Wolfiefan · 03/01/2020 18:53

No wonder. He’s a piece of work isn’t he?

RandomMess · 03/01/2020 18:57

I would take him up on it and say "yes, you're clearly not going to take on responsibility for them and I'm too ill so you need to rehome them"

Angry

First step is contact the breeder and then the breed rescue.

adaline · 03/01/2020 18:59

If he's not willing to step up, then, as unfair as it is, you need to do what's right by those dogs.

That could be employing a dog walker, paying for weekly training, or admitting that you've bitten off more than you can chew and getting one of them rehomed. If you got the younger from a reputable breeder, they should take him back and at 4 months he's still young enough to be rehomed without too much trouble.

Most dogs will spend their time eating and sleeping if they have enough exercise - if you can't give them that yourself, you can of course pay for it. There's a reason dog walkers and daycares are so popular, after all!

Original poster
Ribbon14 · 03/01/2020 18:59

@Wolfiefan quite. I honestly think he makes the situation 10x worse because of the fact he refuses to acknowledge there is a problem. I think it eouljfs actually be better if it was just me and the dogs and I could get some outside help to train them, walk them when I can't manage etc

OP posts:
Original poster
Ribbon14 · 03/01/2020 19:01

I can manage to do 2 x walks during the day with the older one and then one in evening plus one walk in day with little one. I'm hopefully going to take the pup to training classes and get one to one help in the house with the older one. I'm prepared to out the effort in

OP posts:
RandomMess · 03/01/2020 19:04

Can you leave more housework/domestic duties for DH to do?

Literally when he comes home etc "you will need to do x tonight as I have been training/walking/playing with the dog"

Original poster
Ribbon14 · 03/01/2020 19:06

@RandomMess dh does very little in way of housework... We don't have a cleaner and on an average week he probably hoovers once and does some washing up... He never takes it upon himself to do housework. Like today I haven't done the ironing because been too busy working and dealing and walking dogs etc but it's not like he's going to do it. He's going away for the weekend to see a football match so I will do it of course

OP posts:
floffel · 03/01/2020 19:09

You’ve had great advice here OP - think you realise now that it’s not the dogs being naughty.

I support the idea of getting a trainer in- you should be honest with them in advance that it’s your DH’s lack of support that is the biggest contributor. A trainer will observe you both with the dogs and then train you both in techniques to be applied consistently by both of you. In my experience, a trainer will be straightforward with both of you about what needs to change and what you need to do. The trainer delivering that message to your DH should put him straight - make sure he is there when the trainer visits

goodwinter · 03/01/2020 19:16

Oh OP I'm sorry to hear your husband is being such a shit.

Just want to chime in and say that the Kong is a great idea. My boy gets fed exclusively from toys (except the treats we give him 😬) - we have these, and my dog loves them. He won't play with toys unless he gets food, so these make up a lot of his mental stimulation:

Wolfiefan · 03/01/2020 19:18

If he’s bringing so little to the relationship then there’s a solution surely?!

RandomMess · 03/01/2020 19:22

What is your joint financial situation?

He won't do his share of housework or dog care so he should be paying for it out of his "spends" money AngryAngry

Honestly ditch the H.

Stellaris22 · 03/01/2020 19:34

H needs to start paying for a dog walker, completely unfair to put so much stress on you. Two dogs need a lot of work and if they are his idea then he needs to pull his weight. Dogs need a lot of work and you are doing your best considering the situation.

Getting a trainer and attending sessions together sounds sensible, you will all know what to do and not be doing different things that will confuse the dogs.

billybagpuss · 03/01/2020 19:49

My DH once said ‘I don’t want to spend all my afternoon doing ironing’ (after 25 years of me whinging about it) I replied ‘no shit Sherlock neither do I’ the result is we now only iron if it needs it when it needs it. This way much more time for dog playing. It’s not your job to do his ironing.

Original poster
Ribbon14 · 03/01/2020 20:04

@RandomMess we have a joint bank account. Dh earns more than me because works more hours however the house I contributed entirely as it was my parents. I also have a lot in savings that is mine...
He doesn't want to spend money. He hates spending.
@goodwinter thanks for the links :) very helpful and glad to hear the Kong works well

OP posts: