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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

Cheekiest thing your dog has done?

58 replies

Eckhart · 19/11/2019 21:58

Mine's pretty cheeky. The other morning she ate my packed lunch out of my rucksack just before I left for work. I only popped out the room for about 30 seconds. It wasn't so much the theft, but how she was when I came back into the room. Usually she does 'guilty dog', but this time she sat in the middle of the carpet, wagging her tail gleefully, crumbs all up one side of her face, and burped at me. The cheek!

OP posts:

Original poster

Eckhart · 20/11/2019 14:16

@EnglishRain banana? They have unexpected tastes, dogs, don't they. Mine likes satsumas. I don't much like her though, after she's eaten a few segments...

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Si1ver · 20/11/2019 14:19

Mine sneaked her head under a friend's arm at a dinner party and stole a piece of steak off her fork.

She also jumped out of a first floor window and took herself off to the pub. This was over the summer when it was really hot and her walks had been cut down to keep her out of the heat. This was her protest. I thought I had a few years before people started climbing out of windows and running off to get drunk

4yearsnosleep · 20/11/2019 14:20

Our old dog was at a friends house. Their husky opened the door so she jumped the fence. She was found by someone who took her home & let her in him garden with the chickens She promptly attacked said chickens so he went to take her to the pound, found it was shut so let her loose on the dual carriage way. She found her way to the nearby prison (maximum security one) and discovered the kitchen bins. She was found by a prison officer and taken to their crew room where she was fed their lunches all night before being collected by my friend in the morning.

elQuintoConyo · 20/11/2019 14:22

4years that should be made into a film!

Original poster

Eckhart · 20/11/2019 14:23

@4yearsnosleep What an adventure! How did you find out the part about the chicken owner? Please tell me they didn't contact you to say 'your dog is loose on the dual carriageway'? The very thought makes me sweat cold.

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dogcrazy · 20/11/2019 15:54

Years ago I had a dog that stole someone’s unopened KFC bargain bucket. @ My friend apologised and offered them money while I hid in shame.

Mishfit0819 · 20/11/2019 16:10

My old lab jumped in to the local pond to steal the bread people were trying to feed the ducks, and got really muddy getting chased back out by a Swan. Got home and hosed him down in the garden, he wasn't happy about any of this so gave us all the silent treatment for the rest of the day. Next morning my DM woke to find a poo in her left slipper.

In our 11 years with him, he never once done any of his business in the house before or after this incident so I'm sure it was payback

SoggySockRage · 20/11/2019 16:19

Old dog once ate a policeman's notebook, very surreptitiously, whilst policeman was writing in it.

It was one of those flip over pages type ones, he was laying like a 'good boy' at the coppers feet, he flipped over pages and bloody mutt was VERY gently having a nibble as they flapped down.

None of us, not even the policeman, noticed until he tugged a little too hard. Evidently that particular page was a stubborn case to crack!

Highly embarrassing.

adaline · 20/11/2019 16:54

Mine once did a runner for two hours caught the scent of a rabbit and vanished into the woods!

4yearsnosleep · 20/11/2019 17:20

@Eckhart he'd left a message to say what had happened and said he was dropping her at the pound. The pound had closed gates onto the dual carriage way and the prison was just behind it so I'm guessing he dropped at the gates on the road.

Original poster

Eckhart · 20/11/2019 17:31

@4yearsnosleep She was so lucky to make it home!

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narcissistseverywhere · 20/11/2019 18:50

Mounting bitches that are in season - only she's a bitch herself

Wizzbangpop · 20/11/2019 19:00

Dp are pottering in the garden. Look around and ddog isn't anywhere to be seen. Not in house or anything. After 10 v long minutes neighbour/ dog walker if needed shouts from two gardens away, "you looking for ddog she's here!" And picks her up as proof.

Turns out bored pooch and wandered out through an opened gate (looking at you dad) and decided to wander up the road. To see if she could get more attention/treats there. 😳🙄😳

Original poster

Eckhart · 20/11/2019 20:58

Our old dog (bless his soul) was 18, nearly blind and very frail. We accidentally left the front door open, and when we realised he was gone, we had no idea how long he might have been gone for.

We looked all over the neighbourhood, feeling sick with worry, and eventually he was found. He was in the old man pub on the corner, about 3 doors down. He was sharing a bag of pork scratchings with a lovely old man, and sitting on his own bar stool!

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KipperTheFrog · 20/11/2019 21:02

Our dog recently ate all the sausage meat stuffing before I cooked it. He also ate DD1’s birthday cake out of the sealed box. He’s emptied the fridge (all bar the salad and eggs) and many bins. He also steals food out of DD2’s hands.
We were staying in a holiday cottage once, dogs allowed but not on furniture. Woke up to DDog on the bed between us. He never sleeps in our bed!

Aquamarine1029 · 20/11/2019 21:09

Had pizza delivered and left it on the worktop for a bit because my husband and I were finishing up a DYI task. When we went to eat, the pizza box was on the floor and the entire thing was gone. Not a crumb left. Our lovely dog was hiding behind the couch with a very guilty look on her face.

Original poster

Eckhart · 20/11/2019 22:57

Aquamarine

I struggle when my dog does 'guilty-dog' because I find it really funny but I don't want her to think I'm happy with her. She goes so flat to the floor she looks like she's been ironed!

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whattodo2019 · 20/11/2019 23:07

My divine golden retriever used to steal ice creams from toddlers in the park in the summer... he would literally wait next to the ice cream van and ponce ....

MadisonAvenue · 20/11/2019 23:27

When he was a puppy I was trying to get him used to being home alone for short periods. I'd leave him in the kitchen with a dog gate across the door and I'd put a puppy treat on the cupboard by the front door, ready to give him on my return.

One day I came back and the treat wasn't there. I thought I was going mad because I was sure that I'd put it there. No one else was in so it hadn't been moved and the pup was sitting nicely behind the dog gate in the kitchen, waiting for his treat for being a good boy so I got him another.

A short while later I left him in the kitchen with the gate closed while I went for a shower. I was in the bedroom when I heard a jangling noise. It was the two tags on his collar knocking together as he walked up the stairs, and there was the answer to where the treat had gone. The dog gate was still firmly closed when I went back downstairs

He'd obviously mastered how to climb over the gate and had somehow managed to help himself to his treat off the top of the cupboard (which was around 3ft high) and was then clever enough to cover his tracks by climbing back over into the kitchen so that he wouldn't be in trouble.

Original poster

Eckhart · 20/11/2019 23:34

Ah, Madison it's the covering of his tracks that makes it just soooo cheeky!

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DramaAlpaca · 20/11/2019 23:52

Another naughty, food motivated springer here. No longer with us, but she was a real character. She had a habit of escaping from the garden because she worked out how to open the gate by whacking the latch with her paws. One day she let herself out and came back with a whole roast chicken in her jaws, still warm. I didn't dare ask around the neighbours (yes, I'm a coward) but I did dog-proof the garden gate the next day.

Pipandmum · 21/11/2019 00:10

My daughter was on the stairs and I was in the hall looking up at her talking. Out of the corner of my eye I see one of our dogs slowly climbing the stairs with a whole loaf of bread in her mouth! Even though we could both see her I guess she thought if she moved really really slowly she might just manage to sneak by. There are five rooms downstairs where she could have eaten the bread in peace so not sure what she thought she was doing!

AlanPartridgesSausageSandwich · 21/11/2019 08:03

When my miniature dachshund was much yoinger he had a bit of a thing for my underwear.

He would steal any worn pairs from the washing basket and squirrel them away to his bed and basically eat them.

One afternoon he had obviously over indulged himself in my thong and proceeded to puke up a WHOLE pair of bile covered knickers in our living room 🤢. The worst part was it was in front of the well meaning old dear from church who was randomly visiting to have a tour of my dad's garden 🤦🏻‍♀️
God knows what she thought 😂

Spidey66 · 21/11/2019 15:31

Maggie is sooooo cheeky and hides it by being cute. Normally cheeky around food (aren't they all?)

We took her to St Ives in Cornwall in the summer. For those who haven't been, it's really dog friendly with many establishments welcoming dogs. I took her into a cafe, where I had a cup of tea and a scone and she had a doggy icecream. At the till, she was behind me in the lead while i was paying. I turned around, and she was scoffing a scone on the floor. Cue me screeching at her, and a nearby family with small kids finding this hilarious.

I managed to find out she stolen it from the tray of a baby buggy which had been parked there while another family were eating. Of course I offered to replace said stolen scone, but they saw the funny side and refused to accept it. A couple of days later, we returned to the cafe and the owner announced, ''cover your scones, everyone, it's the scone thief!'

Another time I was at home and thought, ''ooh she's been quiet, what's she up to?'' Turned out she'd got into the bedroom and had actually started decapitating the mattress, causing a tear and some stuffing pulled out. I had to push the stuffing back in, put strong tape over the tear, and turn the mattress. She's no longer allowed in the bedroom!

Spidey66 · 21/11/2019 15:37

Oh and its amazing what finds her way into her bed. Recent finds have been shoes, an egg, and a mango stone (after she'd eaten the mango, naturally.)

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