DH been offered a 6-month contract in Australia - should we go? (We have a dog!)

[Cactuscacti]

DH and I can’t decide whether or not he should take this contract. We have a puppy.

Ordinarily, we would - I’m freelance and our children are young enough for this to be a fun adventure.

But we have a puppy! I looked it up, and he’d have to spend 10 days in quarantine. But is that - plus the flights - too traumatic for such a short amount of time? We’d definitely come back to the UK after 6 months.

We've just flown our giant breed pup long haul. It's a one way flight due to a permanent move. I wouldn't do it for 6 months. Our laid back boy was very stressed and jet lagged. He's been very clingy since he got here and is only just (after a month or so) starting to settle back to himself. For only 6 months it would not be fair to the dog. Plus check out the cost before you get stuck on the idea. It cost us a fortune to fly back to Uk due to customs charges and regulations. You'd need to look at what vaccinations he would need to enter aus then return. And the air crate can cost a fortune, ours was over £500.

What breed is the dog? A lot of airlines won't fly bracycephalic (sp?) - flat faced breeds due to the risks. Our dog was classed as a 'strong breed' and as such had extra hoops to jump through. It might not be as simple as you think. I would leave with mil and go on the adventure.

Puppy is in the earliest stages of his life where he is bonding with you and learning etc, this will be potentially very traumatic for him and could affect his personality for life

A service dog would be with its puppy trainers for the 14 months of its life, before going to its long-term owner. Dogs are perfectly capable of adjusting to different handlers.

a pet doesn't trump it's human family.
to potentially miss a great opportunity because of a dog is ridiculous.

tbh, I would make the decision on what opportunity this is for my family and then consider what to do with my pet(s).

I would go and do an 'impact assessment' on what to do with the dog whilst away. take it, leave it with family, rehome...

a pet doesn't trump it's human family. to potentially miss a great opportunity because of a dog is ridiculous

They're only going for six months - it's not a permanent move. Both children are going to leave their schools, go to school in Australia, and then come back again (and maybe not to the same school they left as they'll lose their school places). OP hasn't mentioned a job themselves but most jobs won't let you take six months out to travel to Australia for your DH's career either!

Dogs are a commitment and you can't just dump them for a better opportunity, pick them back up again afterwards and expect that not to have consequences. My pup was learning constantly at that age - there's no way I would have left him for six months. And if I did, I wouldn't expect him to be the same when I came back.

I guess what I'm saying is that if OP chooses to go and leave the dog here, there'll be consequences to that and potentially the dog might not be "theirs" anymore. If they're willing to potentially give up their pup for a six month temporary move, that's their choice.

I would go and leave the dog with mil. This is a once in a life thing to do. And the chance u may stay !!!!! I would have my bags packed already. The dog will be fine with ur mil.

I agree that the puppy would re-adjust to a temporary home. Have a look at Pick of the litter (Netflix doc) about service dogs who live with foster parents. Often the placement isn't right and the get moved again (so 2 or do moves before permanent home). These dogs were all well adjusted. If you think your MIL can provide a safe, loving, nurturing environment then the best thing would be to leave puppy there and go and enjoy your adventure.

This is such a marvellous opportunity for you, your husband and your children that it really would be a shame to give up on it for the sake of a dog! Further down the track you might regret not having taken the opportunity.

Is there not someone you know - family or friend - who would be willing to have the dog for six months? You could offer to pay. As long as the dog is fed, watered and walked and has a comfortable life no harm will be done.

In terms of bonding - we got our DDog at 1yo and she is very well bonded to us.

Dogs are a massive commitment, and in your case, you'd be committed to finding him a secure, loving alternative home for those 6 months. Oh, and try not to get eaten by anything while you're out there, that's the real challenge.

If MiL would look after the dog and the trip would not mess up kids school places I think you should go.

Thanks all! So much to think about. Okay, I feel quite persuaded that it would be too traumatic to take a dog to Australia for 6 months.

MIL loves him, and she wants a dog herself. She’d take amazing care of him, but I don’t know how she’d feel about giving him back at the end of it. I don’t know if it’s a fair ask or not.

And we love him, he’s our family. I wish it were easier to take him with us!

Kids are young enough that it wouldn’t disrupt too much. I’ve always wanted to visit Australia. Oh it’s such a toughie! This wasn’t even a thing on the cards when we got our puppy, otherwise we wouldn’t have.

(I work for myself as a freelancer - and from home - and only 2 days a week. I would carry that work on out there. I never go into anyone’s office, so it would be fine.)

It feels like a bit of a big decision! Argh!

Don't give up this opportunity of a lifetime. I say that as a dog obsessive lover. Your pup will be fine and will have no problem bonding again on your return.

Of course, dog ownership is a responsibility that lasts the dog's lifetime, but placing the dog in a loving temporary home during your trip is a responsible solution.

I cannot understand why you would miss out on this enriching opportunity for you all when you have a loving, safe option for your dog!
Go to Australia - you are far more likely to regret what you don't do in life.

Life is too short. Go!

Oh god, just go. It's a dog, it'll be fine.

I have a dog that I love very much that lives between three homes. He, honestly, doesn't give a shit who he lives with as long as he's fed and walked. He's naughty after he stays with my MIL, such is life.

I am a dog obsessive too however there has been some unusual opinions on this thread.

You dog will be fine if left with a caring dog person. The dog will not "be a different dog " when you get back bigger older yes but the same.
dog.

Your dog will settle back with you very happily when you return - if you want to go and have an experience then go your dog will be perfectly fine and will greet you with a waggy tail when you return

Ok! This thread has been really, really helpful. We won’t take him... but we’ll go! I will cry, but I’m so excited at the same time.

MIL will also definitely cry, as she’s very close to our DC (and is generally just wonderful), but I’m thinking the puppy (who will be 6 months by the time we go in Jan) will ease her pain. And - I think - she’ll see it as a lure to persuade us back after 6 months...

I hope we don’t lose our puppy completely, we love him.

But Australia! I mean, when else will we get to do that?! And he’ll be somewhere lovely. (MIL’s home is much calmer than ours!)

Thank you all!

I hope everyone - your family, MiL and DDog have a fabulous 6 months. Australia is absolutely amazing. Make the most of your time there!

The dog is obviously not your family if you are going. No way would I go without my dog.

Sorry but I think as your dog is so young he will be better off staying with your MIL permanently. He will change so much in the time you are away

Yay good decision enjoy it and have a fab time.

lynsey91 the dog is obviously not your family if you are going away I left my OH for 10 months to work abroad he and I both survived the ordeal (actually training dogs in New Zealand) - the OP dog will be fine and will adapt really well.

@Jouska and you know that for sure do you? Puppies change a lot in 6 months and having friends who do a lot of work with puppies/rescue dogs and puppies I don't agree.

Puppies usually bond with someone while young and OP will lose any bond she has and the bond will develop with the MIL. Also it seems MIL will be taking on the bulk of the training.

I don't think an OH compares with a dog because OH can understand why you are going away and understand you will be back.

I doubt OP would leave a child behind and, to me, a dog is just as much family as a child

Puppies change a lot in 6 months and having friends who do a lot of work with puppies/rescue dogs and puppies I don't agree

Odd - rescue charities are always telling us how a dog is never too old to bond with someone who can offer it a forever home.

And, as I said upthread, dogs being trained as service animals wouldn't even go to their permanent homes till about 14 months, and might have several handlers/fosterers in their first year. Yet they are the most trustworthy and well-adjusted dogs going.

Yep I know for sure. One example is assistance dogs - they will all have had several homes before the age of 18 months and will be happy well adjusted dogs. They are always excited to see their puppy walkers but will "love" their new owners just as much.

Working dogs can again have a puppy owner and then move onto their working partner.

Dogs rehomed through rescue will bond with their new home.

The puppy may bond with MIL but that will not stop it bonding with OP when she returns - lucky puppy at the end of loads of love

Dogs will be fine - humans however may find it hard.

I do agree though that OP does not compare with my dogs - for many reasons

I couldn’t put a young dog through that, not for six months. Go if you want but if you do put your dog first and leave it with your MIL. He won’t miss you as much as you will miss him and you need to prioritise him.

Well sounds like you’ve decided to go. All this “great opportunity, you’d be mad to miss it” is crazy. I’ve visited Australia a few times and have family there but it’s not some magical place. Just a different continent where normal folk go to work, pay bills, shop, etc. No way would I leave a puppy for six months btw.

For me, one of the most wonderous things about dogs is their ability to bond with multiple humans. Each time, the one they are with is the best ever, yet they mostly break and remake bonds with seeming ease.

Months 6-12 involve a lot of change for a dog and their experiences during this time will influence their adult selves. So, in leaving yours with MIL I would expect:

• him to have developed inherent character traits you won't have seen in him before you left
• him to have developed behaviour traits as a result of your MIL's environment and training

As a result, the dog you get back is likely to be a bit different from the one you left. As Battendog at 12 months was quite different to Battendog at 6 months. Though some things remained constant.

In reality, this might mean he develops some traits you don't like and will spend the rest of his days figuring out if they were just part of who he is or a product of being with MIL.

In my mind, you'll have to just accept that and deal with whatever you come back to. Of course, you might also come back to a happy, well trained, well adjusted dog having only done 50% of the work

I wouldn't leave Battendog for 6 months but that's because I would miss him. I could well imagine him in a good home (e.g. with family), having a blast and not really missing me one bit. That's dogs for you! I personally think the loyal and unconditional love myth is the biggest bs ever . My dogs have never been that loyal that they don't form good relationships with others and I am fairly sure only love me based on how nice, comforting, fun and interesting I am to be around. As it should be.

So I don't really think the bonding thing makes it a no-goer. Might be worth settling him into it gently, perhaps spending increasing time with MIL before you go? And then the same when you get back to transition him back to you.

Might also be worth MIL seeing if there are other children about the same ages as yours that can spend time with him while you are gone - so he remains comfortable with children. If that's possible.

p.s. no way would I go through the upheaval of moving just for six months but each to their own