DH been offered a 6-month contract in Australia - should we go? (We have a dog!)

[Cactuscacti]

DH and I can’t decide whether or not he should take this contract. We have a puppy.

Ordinarily, we would - I’m freelance and our children are young enough for this to be a fun adventure.

But we have a puppy! I looked it up, and he’d have to spend 10 days in quarantine. But is that - plus the flights - too traumatic for such a short amount of time? We’d definitely come back to the UK after 6 months.

[lynsey91]

The biggest drawback to Australia has to be the spiders. You could not pay me to go there.

There will probably be a flood of posts now from people saying you never see spiders there but just about everyone I know that has been there has seen big spiders. One of my friends, who is absolutely terrified of spiders, was persuaded to go there because everyone said "Oh you won't see any spiders! She had a massive one drop on to her head.

[Hovverry]

Rescue dogs and pups are flown here frequently and I’ve never heard anyone say their dog was traumatised by the journey. It’s only a day or two out of their lives.

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

@SleepingStandingUp um, not to be pedantic, but the OP's dog also has a penis

[wellhelloyou]

Margaret River and surrounds is amazing! Love it

[wellhelloyou]

I beg to differ. I do think there's lots of magical places in Australia. We pay bills wherever we go but nicer to do it in a lovely place 🌞😁😁😁

[yoursworried]

Well sounds like you’ve decided to go. All this “great opportunity, you’d be mad to miss it” is crazy.



What a weird thing to say. And the paying bills bit. Of course daily life happens in Australia like it does everywhere in the world. There are some breathtakingly beautiful parts of Oz and this might be your only opportunity . I live in Asia op and adore going away to Margaret River. Your dc will be enriched by the opportunity to travel somewhere different - mine travel frequently and love the experiences- even to places where people go about their daily life!
Have a ball you've made a brilliant decision

[lynsey91]

@SleepingStandingUp well I would not want my DH going away for 6 months or even 3 months for that matter BUT we would talk it through and if it did happen we would have discussed it and both been happy with it. The dog won't know why he is with someone else will he?

I hope the OP's dog is fine and happily goes back to living with her when they return. There are some positive stories on here. I know of quite a few totally different situations though.

I don't agree that dogs don't really care who they live with as long as they get fed, walks, love etc.

[SleepingStandingUp]

the dog is obviously not your family if you are going away and yet lots of posters have suggested the DP goes and leaves his human children behind. But I guess that's OK cos he has a penis

[fernandoanddenise]

Go go go! Your DDog will be fine whatever you decide as you love him and will do what’s good for him. What a great opportunity! Yolo!

[XXcstatic]

it’s not some magical place. Just a different continent where normal folk go to work, pay bills, shop, etc

Great point. Why go anywhere, really? I mean, the whole world has normal folk, paying bills & shopping. Probably best just to spend the rest of your life on your sofa - that way you don't risk disappointment.

Go to Kakadu, OP, and see aboriginal paintings and crocs. Watch the sunset in Darwin. Do a long walk in Tassie. Drink wine in Margaret River and the Hunter Valley. Explore the Great Ocean Road. Dive off the Barrier Reef while it still exists. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy

[BatshitBertha]

It's far too stressful on a dog for just 6 months, that would be very selfish.

Put your feelers out and find a good foster family for him. And then go and enjoy your adventure.

[missbattenburg]

For me, one of the most wonderous things about dogs is their ability to bond with multiple humans. Each time, the one they are with is the best ever, yet they mostly break and remake bonds with seeming ease.

Months 6-12 involve a lot of change for a dog and their experiences during this time will influence their adult selves. So, in leaving yours with MIL I would expect:

• him to have developed inherent character traits you won't have seen in him before you left
• him to have developed behaviour traits as a result of your MIL's environment and training

As a result, the dog you get back is likely to be a bit different from the one you left. As Battendog at 12 months was quite different to Battendog at 6 months. Though some things remained constant.

In reality, this might mean he develops some traits you don't like and will spend the rest of his days figuring out if they were just part of who he is or a product of being with MIL.

In my mind, you'll have to just accept that and deal with whatever you come back to. Of course, you might also come back to a happy, well trained, well adjusted dog having only done 50% of the work

I wouldn't leave Battendog for 6 months but that's because I would miss him. I could well imagine him in a good home (e.g. with family), having a blast and not really missing me one bit. That's dogs for you! I personally think the loyal and unconditional love myth is the biggest bs ever . My dogs have never been that loyal that they don't form good relationships with others and I am fairly sure only love me based on how nice, comforting, fun and interesting I am to be around. As it should be.

So I don't really think the bonding thing makes it a no-goer. Might be worth settling him into it gently, perhaps spending increasing time with MIL before you go? And then the same when you get back to transition him back to you.

Might also be worth MIL seeing if there are other children about the same ages as yours that can spend time with him while you are gone - so he remains comfortable with children. If that's possible.

p.s. no way would I go through the upheaval of moving just for six months but each to their own

[SingingTunelessly]

Well sounds like you’ve decided to go. All this “great opportunity, you’d be mad to miss it” is crazy. I’ve visited Australia a few times and have family there but it’s not some magical place. Just a different continent where normal folk go to work, pay bills, shop, etc. No way would I leave a puppy for six months btw.

[SleepyKat]

I couldn’t put a young dog through that, not for six months. Go if you want but if you do put your dog first and leave it with your MIL. He won’t miss you as much as you will miss him and you need to prioritise him.

[Jouska]

Yep I know for sure. One example is assistance dogs - they will all have had several homes before the age of 18 months and will be happy well adjusted dogs. They are always excited to see their puppy walkers but will "love" their new owners just as much.

Working dogs can again have a puppy owner and then move onto their working partner.

Dogs rehomed through rescue will bond with their new home.

The puppy may bond with MIL but that will not stop it bonding with OP when she returns - lucky puppy at the end of loads of love

Dogs will be fine - humans however may find it hard.

I do agree though that OP does not compare with my dogs - for many reasons

[XXcstatic]

Puppies change a lot in 6 months and having friends who do a lot of work with puppies/rescue dogs and puppies I don't agree

Odd - rescue charities are always telling us how a dog is never too old to bond with someone who can offer it a forever home.

And, as I said upthread, dogs being trained as service animals wouldn't even go to their permanent homes till about 14 months, and might have several handlers/fosterers in their first year. Yet they are the most trustworthy and well-adjusted dogs going.

[lynsey91]

@Jouska and you know that for sure do you? Puppies change a lot in 6 months and having friends who do a lot of work with puppies/rescue dogs and puppies I don't agree.

Puppies usually bond with someone while young and OP will lose any bond she has and the bond will develop with the MIL. Also it seems MIL will be taking on the bulk of the training.

I don't think an OH compares with a dog because OH can understand why you are going away and understand you will be back.

I doubt OP would leave a child behind and, to me, a dog is just as much family as a child

[Jouska]

Yay good decision enjoy it and have a fab time.

lynsey91 the dog is obviously not your family if you are going away I left my OH for 10 months to work abroad he and I both survived the ordeal (actually training dogs in New Zealand) - the OP dog will be fine and will adapt really well.

[lynsey91]

The dog is obviously not your family if you are going. No way would I go without my dog.

Sorry but I think as your dog is so young he will be better off staying with your MIL permanently. He will change so much in the time you are away

[ColdRainAgain]

I hope everyone - your family, MiL and DDog have a fabulous 6 months. Australia is absolutely amazing. Make the most of your time there!

[Cactuscacti]

Ok! This thread has been really, really helpful. We won’t take him... but we’ll go! I will cry, but I’m so excited at the same time.

MIL will also definitely cry, as she’s very close to our DC (and is generally just wonderful), but I’m thinking the puppy (who will be 6 months by the time we go in Jan) will ease her pain. And - I think - she’ll see it as a lure to persuade us back after 6 months...

I hope we don’t lose our puppy completely, we love him.

But Australia! I mean, when else will we get to do that?! And he’ll be somewhere lovely. (MIL’s home is much calmer than ours!)

Thank you all!

[Jouska]

I am a dog obsessive too however there has been some unusual opinions on this thread.

You dog will be fine if left with a caring dog person. The dog will not "be a different dog " when you get back bigger older yes but the same.
dog.

Your dog will settle back with you very happily when you return - if you want to go and have an experience then go your dog will be perfectly fine and will greet you with a waggy tail when you return

[Croquembou]

Oh god, just go. It's a dog, it'll be fine.

I have a dog that I love very much that lives between three homes. He, honestly, doesn't give a shit who he lives with as long as he's fed and walked. He's naughty after he stays with my MIL, such is life.

[MaraScottie]

Life is too short. Go!

[yoursworried]

I cannot understand why you would miss out on this enriching opportunity for you all when you have a loving, safe option for your dog!
Go to Australia - you are far more likely to regret what you don't do in life.