Recently got a frenchie- worried by everything I am reading!? Advice

[Darklava09]

We recently got a frenchie, DS is 7 now and would enjoy the company and it’s a dog we’ve all looked at and thought would be a good fit for the family. I had read up on websites beforehand and spoke to people who have them.

People had warned me about the stubbornness and destructiveness but said they are good with kids and are generally a good breed to have.

However, I’ve been on forums and all I seem to read from frenchie owners is how much they chew, they can get separation anxiety and their allergies and diet! And how poorly they get! The people who I speak to had never mentioned that there’s was ever poorly or destructive. I feel duped

Any advice? I feel like I have puppy blues and can’t seem to shake the feeling like I’ve made a huge mistake.

I’m worried that because we both work full time that he may get anxiety and might misbehave. However, we sometimes work from home and there is people to let him out on occasions. I also worry that he will chew everything in sight and am stressed that he may be an ill frenchie who sees the vets regularly and worry about the cost of keeping him healthy!! I never realised that their insurance premiums would be so high... we’re getting insurance but can only afford a certain amount so am worried I case something big happens!

I can’t shake the worry! Any positive frenchie parents out there!!

Nobody is saying there is anything wrong with appropriate use of a cage if that’s what you want to do , what I am saying is that they enable feckless owners to have a puppy whereas if they didn’t exist the puppy would make mess / chew the house and the feckless owners would rehome the pup .

but crates become cages when used inappropriately

I literally said that same thing. There is a caveat to crate use, as there is with most things. Moderation is key. Too much of anything is generally a bad thing

I agree that they can encourage lazy and feckless owners, floralnomad, but ‘cage’ is a very emotive word, and isn’t an accurate descriptor for them when they are used correctly.

I would love to have a dog, but don't because of work.

I think that the 10 minutes I spent on Amazon this morning reading reviews on walking socks is genuinely more time than OP appears to have spent on researching getting an actual real-life puppy.

A crate is a cage , it’s exactly the same , people who use them just prefer to call them crate because nobody wants to say that they shut their dog in a cage .( even appropriately used)

I agree that they can encourage lazy and feckless owners, floralnomad, but ‘cage’ is a very emotive word, and isn’t an accurate descriptor for them when they are used correctly.

Of course a crate is a cage! Whether it's used correctly or not! It's a lockable box with bars. You may not like the term cage but that's exactly what a crate is.

@OrchidInTheSun of course I am aware of the amount of puppy farming and in fact we lost a cocker spaniel to rage syndrome because, although we bought him from a reputable kennel, it turned out he came from a welsh puppy farm (thanks Graham Norton for shining a light on the kennels which are still open unfortunately). So thank you for the lesson but have had that worst of experiences. I suppose I am just shocked at the aggression in some of the messages when this lady is asking for help. Do we get rid of every breed that has possible life threatening/changing issues - german shepherds (spines), labradors and retrievers (joints), daschunds (legs bur replacing frenchie's as the most popular and being bred with ever shorter legs) or do we promote buying your dog from a responsible breeder and work to try and breed only the healthiest examples of the breed. There is family in the South breeding english bull dogs back to their original form. There is research into genetic conditions that may cause breathing issues in some flat faced dogs, not just the shape of the face. I have no time for puppy farms but there is a lot of assuming this lady has bought from someone irresponsible when she may actually have a perfectly health dog. 8 hours at home alone is not ideal but she does say she has help and can work from home also. there are things she can do; she does not deserve all the abuse that has been aimed at her.

So you've got yourself a baby animal OP, that's just left its mother and now you're going to leave it alone to cry and be terrified for 8 hours every day.

How are you going to feed it four times a day?

How are you going to take it out to wee and poo every twenty minutes?

How are you going to give it companionship and stimulation?

The answer is you won't and you can't.

You feel like you've make a terrible mistake, because you have.

Put it right now and rehome this poor bloody baby animal before you turn it into a neurotic, anxious mess.

You do realise that if you leave a puppy like this you're going to come home to a chewed house full of wee and poo.

You've clearly got the puppy, understanding nothing about what its requirements are, you didn't even know that this breed have terrible breathing problems.

This sort of irresponsible attitude to dog ownership is why our rescues are full of untrained, unwanted dogs.

It's a living creature, not a bloody toy.

You do realise that if you leave a puppy like this you're going to come home to a chewed house full of wee and poo.

No she won't. It will be left in a crate all day and brought out at playtime.

8 hours at home alone is not ideal

That's the understatement of the year for a puppy!

but she does say she has help and can work from home also
Help is not guaranteed only if people are available and certainly not regularly enough for a puppy. And she said "occaisionaly can work from home not that it's a regular thing or even every week.

Expecting a puppy to cope on its own for 8hrs every day then get a bit of attention then spend the night alone again is ridiculous.

Op says the puppy has a crate but won't be in it all day, it has an 'area'.
Bet when they come home to pee and crap all over it to clean up and probably a puppy to wash that will change.

OP I REALLY don't want to add to your woes because the puppy blues are hard enough as they are, but 8 hours a day just isn't realistic at all. The breeder should never have sold to you.

My pup (now overgrown!) loves daycare. Is that a possibility?

I can't work out whether you're stupid or just irresponsible. Either way you shouldn't have ever been allowed to take that poor puppy home

Positive message to the OP - if you want to get through the next few months and give yourself a decent chance of having a happy family pet, you need to rally the troops.
~Draw up a rota of family, friends & doggy day care so he's not left alone for more than a couple of hours for the next couple of months, and he has decent interaction at these times, not just outside for a pee.
~Book yourself into evening socialisation & training classes, ideally with your son too.
~Give up a luxury monthly spend (A dinner out? Wine?sky perhaps? Nails? Haircut? Cheaper phone tariff?) to get decent insurance (& regular day care)
~Make sure puppy isn't left alone at all on weekends for the next few months - spend time training & socialising & bonding
Basically, dedicate all your free time and spare money to this puppy for at least the next six months. It'll pay dividends in the long run and you may have a lovely family dog for years to come.

I would say that you dog does really need company maybe another dog to keep him company?

Yes, that'll do it. One poor little pup owned by the clueless is joined by another. And why? Because rather than accept that your lifestyle isn't suitable for a pup, you'll solve everything by making things twice as disastrous.

Just out of interest, what do you imagine these pups will do for company? Roll a couple of spliffs and chill out to some cool tunes and metaphysical poetry until their humans get home?

Do we get rid of every breed that has possible life threatening/changing issues

This isn't the issue here. We have no idea if OP's pup has any health problems. Could be like my friends frenchies (oldest died of old age and her 2 daughters are now 7 and have had no health problems) her slightly younger frenchies are fine too. The issue is leaving a puppy for that length of time.

Another poster started a thread considering taking extended leave to help her new dog settle which is a lovely idea and a great way to have a well behaved, well balanced dog at the end. Then the complete opposite thinking you can leave a brand new puppy regularly for that time. It's guaranteed to cause problems. Not least puppies need fed regularly at that age and cannot possibly be house trainer in such circumstances. Frenchies can be quite difficult to house train anyway

Don't think OP is coming back - think she has underestimated her ignorance about dog care, and the reaction of other dog owners who DO know what responsible dog care looks like.

Anyway OP - yes you have made a huge mistake. You can barely afford even basic insurance cover. You plan on leaving a puppy alone for hours on end "because other people do it". (Other people neglect and abuse their children - do you plan on doing that too?) You are afraid the puppy will get anxious and destructive when said puppy surmises it has been abandoned when its owners disappear for hours on end (no shit Sherlock . ) You are totally clueless.

Best thing you can do is contact the breeder and ask to return the puppy because you simply cannot adequately care for him.

Any responsible breeder will put the welfare of their puppy first, and take him back. Unless of course amongst all your other mistakes you've bought the poor little thing from a puppy farm, who simply won't want to know.

Or it’s a froth troll, ratherberiding