New puppy help help help

[toastedbeagle]

Hi , we have a 8w old Labrador puppy arriving in 3 weeks. I’ve never owned a dog.

Can someone please honestly explain what a day looks like? This wasn’t my idea as I work 10 hour days (and my husband 14!). We have 2 young kids and I honestly could feel like crying. All I’ve learned so far is that hydrangeas are toxic which is bloody annoying as they make up 80% of the plants in my garden.

As the owner of a puppy who has taken over my life, do not do it! They take up more time and emotion than you could ever imagine. As a nanny I would not be happy at all - it's easily as hard as another 2 children!

Ours is now 11 months and the first few months were hell, exhausting, house chewed, carpets stained etc etc. I only work 20 hours a week and it was still very stressful, and our pup is still only left for 4 hours at a time and that's after a decent walk / run.

I love ours so much but blimey you need more time than you have

I'm feeling so sorry for your nanny who will bear the brunt of cleaning up after this puppy and dealing with it trying to chew up everything. Who is going to be doing the training? It's better to have one person take control of training as the puppy will get confused if it's getting a variety of commands from different people. You'll also need insurance. If the puppy gets ill or has an accident it could be extremely costly.

This has disaster written all over it and you'll regret it if you don't put your foot down and insist to your DH that this is not going ahead. How come he's the boss who says you're definitely getting a dog or you can leave? A family should only get a dog if everyone is in agreement.

@BetterEatCheese
How did the 4 hours go?
Got our lab pup on Monday as I've got 8 weeks till I start job of 4 hours a day. Have waited until could afford to work less hours to accommodate.

Your posts also raise huge questions about where the pup is coming from.
No decent breeder should be selling a puppy to you under these conditions. The whole family should be on board and the working and care arrangements should have been sorted before even seeing the pup. With a good breeder, meeting the puppies is as much a chance for them to vet you as anything else and given the circumstances, there’s no way they should be selling you a pup.

What makes him want a puppy rather than an older dog?
When would he even see it?

As long as you don't mind the nanny not looking after the kids as she won't have time, all will be fine.

I need to stop reading these threads

A day with a puppy (at least my 2)

Woken up by barking/biting at ~6am (if you're lucky).

Stand outside with puppy for around half an hour while they decide whether to bark and wake all the neighbours up or go to the toilet (first time they actually poop outside is such a big moment!)

Back inside - useless trying to go back to sleep as they'll start whining and wanting to play.

7am - after playing with puppy, feed. Then back outside for a repeat of earlier.

More playtime!

Clean up the several puddles you've no doubt missed when your back has been turned for a few seconds a go.

Whenever you catch them doing this, don't scold them - take them outside and then praise them. This process varies - my second pup got it down in about 3 months. The other one took nearly a year to get housebroken. It's an all consuming process.

I'd say they'll nap intermittently but one of mine didn't seem to need sleep so needed constant stimulation - games, training, playtime to stop them destroying the house (some things ended up damaged inevitably even with one of us at home at all times).

They'll need feeding several times a day - the breeder will be able to advise their current routine and it'll need sticking to and any changes need to be very gradual after they have settled in.

Oh - be prepared to get up every hour or so during the night with the puppy until they're older. Their bladders can't hold it in and please don't scold them for that - it isn't their fault.

Happy puppying! And good luck.

And also don't forget to get them registered at the vets and sort out their vaccinations!

I only had a puppy once. Never again. It was hell. Always gone for adult rescue dogs since. Ones that are housetrained and you can see what you're getting and can leave for a bit

@LadyOfTheFlowers it's fine now. He's crated as we tried him out but he ate the house: the dog trainer we use said to ensure he knows the crate does not mean abandonment. We were told to pop him in it for 10 minutes etc while we are in the room or upstairs etc moving on to popping out to the car for 15 minutes and coming back.

If you're not crating, try building up gradually in the same way

Your nanny will leave.

Tell your DH now that if that happens he’s in charge of a) childcare and puppy care and b) finding a replacement nanny who is happy to also train a puppy.

Good luck!

Your DH is a total bell-end and I’d take him up on his kind offer of moving out.

And tell your DH you are not getting up in the night (bet you did with the babies? Well now it’s his turn) and he needs to work shorter hours to account for puppy care. He needs to be inconvenienced not you. If he will not do this he is happy to neglect the puppy, and that shows you what sort of man he is.

I’m not sure why you don’t feel able to make a stand on this. He’s absolutely clear that he values you less than an animal that’s not even in your house yet.

This will likely split you up anyway

Is your nanny ok with this?

Does she realise she’s effectively getting a toddler to look after? An unpottytrained, non nappy wearing toddler... with very sharp little teeth...

If you are getting the puppy and theres no chance of backing out you need actual advice not berating.

Get your nanny on board, has she/he ever owned a dog? If I was your nanny I would be excited much to the shock of PP's. Puppies are fun and playful as well as hard work.

I would advise getting a pen or a safety gate blocking off a safe room like a utility room or kitchen where there is nothing to destroy.

I was lucky neither of mine ever chewed stuff up but for the first month i didn't give them the chance.

Leave the back door open all the time you are in the house and encourage the puppy to go out regularly.

Let the kids play with the puppy but also remember puppies sleep ALOT to begin with, make sure the kids don't keep waking it up.

Obviously vets for Jabs and Castrating, pet plans make this cheaper.

Get the puppy used to routine e.g. feed at consistent times, groom at consistent time etc.

You need to de-sensitise your puppy to new things e.g. hoover, new people, door bell, visitors etc. This will make them less anxious and barky.

Socialise your puppy as soon as they are allowed out, go to a training class,dog parks, meet up with friends with dogs etc.

Teach your kids to be gentle and teach them boundaries.

Prepare yourself for the first night the crying for their mum honestly breaks your heart. We allowed ours to sleep on the floor in our room, in a crate/pen with a warm teddy (microwave thing).

Once you get past the initial puppy stage if you do all the training and socialising you will have a chilled dog who you can take everywhere with you.

Trust me it is worth it!

If you are getting the puppy and theres no chance of backing out you need actual advice not berating.

I know it's not OP's idea but I really don't think she gets how hard puppyhood can be. The vast, vast majority of posts are saying this is a bad idea and that it won't work - so why (in the nicest possible way) waste your time with advice?

OP and her husband both work long hours and expect their nanny to do all the puppy training fgs. How on earth is that going to work long-term? What about during the night, or at weekends? This is an awful situation to bring a puppy into and is absolutely not fair on the nanny, the DC or indeed OP herself.

Advice on how to muddle through anyway really isn't the answer, I don't think.

If I was your nanny I would be excited much to the shock of PP's.

And I hope the OPs nanny is but the chances are that they soon realise they have been given far more work than they signed up for and look for a better employer. The OP's DH risks losing their childcare over this which I suspect he will just offload on the OP to sort out when if that happens.

“the chances are that they soon realise they have been given far more work than they signed up for”

Well exactly... I’d be hugely excited to visit someone else’s puppy, or puppy sit - but do I want to look after one full time while I’m at work on top of doing my actual work? Not a chance...

I won't go into the ins and outs as to why this is a very bad idea Op,except to say that Labradors are a highly intelligent,very active breed that need a lot of mental stimulation and when fully grown a lot of exercise.
Mine is almost 7 & is still like a pup in a lot of ways.
Just last year he took my DH completely off his feet when he clipped him running past him on a walk.

Please ,have a read through the many ,many other threads in Dog house from posters who actually really wanted & planned for their pups yet still found it very hard ,sometimes unbearable in the first 6 months/year .

The most common time for dogs to be rehomed or surrendered to rescue is within the first 12 months,usually because people are unprepared & don't put the time & effort into training,meaning a badly behaved dog through no fault of its own that then they can't cope with.
Don't be one of these people,put your foot down with your husband & wait until you can fully commit .

Isnt 8 weeks awfully young for a puppy to leave its mother

I hope your 'breeder' isn't a puppy farmer. Sounds like they have zero interest in their puppies welfare.

Isnt 8 weeks awfully young for a puppy to leave its mother

I think 8 weeks is about normal for a labrador.

If the op is still around, I picked up our 8 week old pup on Monday. The first night was ok as he had been vaccinated that day and was sleepy. The 2nd night he was up for a wee every two hours then decided our day was starting at 4:40am. The following night woke at 3:30 for a wee then cried a bit but went back to sleep till 5:30am. Last night he woke at 3:30 then slept after a little cry till 6:30am when I got up with him. So last night not too bad.

House breaking is hard work. Every 30 mins to an hour I have been putting him out to wee etc. As soon as he wakes from a nap that very minute he needs to go outside otherwise he wees where he is stood. He is getting slightly better now on day 4 at moving towards the back door or giving a little whine at the stair gate that he needs to go out - he is currently mostly confined to the lounge with me where I can watch him and he is safe because whenever he goes anywhere else he is either trashing the place ie: trying to chew the furniture legs, chewing the rugs, chewing wires/cables, chewing up any shoes left out.

When out for a wee/playing in garden he is trying to eat anything he can fit in his mouth - stones, coal, twigs, leaves, any piece of crud inadvertently dropped. He is also getting very good at hiding whatever it is under his tongue or simply running off and giving me the slip when he has something so I can't get it off him.

The kids play with him but as he knows no better he gets carried away mouthing them so they are much less keen at the moment which means all the play is mostly down to me.

I am also trying to teach him basic manners ie: sit, stay, etc to start with so he will be a well mannered dog the kids can handle once he's grown.

He is being fed 3 times a day which I am trying to ensure are delivered on time as this helps with house training.

On top of this I have 5 children in the house ranging from 9 - 14. The children are older yes but they are struggling with the fact we are pretty much housebound until his second vaccination. The oldest few can go out but the younger ones who are also more prone to quarrel amongst themselves are getting cabin fever.

In all honesty, I found newborns easier.

I've just read this thread and can't believe how two people can have so few brain cells between them. You're both working ALL day very long hours and just got yourself a Labrador puppy???!!! Eh!!! I've wanted a dog most of my life but waited until I retired (no family - single but happy) because I was well aware of just what a commitment it was. Even then, nothing can really prepare you for the 12 months of hard work it can be looking after the pup and doing all the things you need to do for it to develop into a well-balanced loving member of the family. Stupidity in the extreme! Sorry!