New puppy help help help

[toastedbeagle]

Hi , we have a 8w old Labrador puppy arriving in 3 weeks. I’ve never owned a dog.

Can someone please honestly explain what a day looks like? This wasn’t my idea as I work 10 hour days (and my husband 14!). We have 2 young kids and I honestly could feel like crying. All I’ve learned so far is that hydrangeas are toxic which is bloody annoying as they make up 80% of the plants in my garden.

Wow are you seriously going to do this? Your dog will be out of control, you will have no patience with him after your long day at work. Who is going to train him and make sure he is properly socialised?.
This is such an irresponsible thing to do.

It is exactly like having a newborn baby except the crying is louder, they can destroy the house and they pee etc EVERYWHERE!! I have a 1 year old labrador, wouldn't change her for the world, had her from 8 weeks.... but we researched constantly for over a year even though my husband had grown up with labs all his life, we made sure there was someone always at home and it was still one of the hardest things to deal with for the first few months!

I just don't think you have time for this puppy and no decent breeder would sell you a pup with your work hours, so it is very likely to have some problems.

Is this a joke? Are you completely clueless. It is going to end in disaster....

Whose idea was this?

We have an 8 month old dog. I’m a carer so home all day and trained our puppy. He had to go in and out constantly for toileting. I’d take him out every 30 minutes. Yes we crate trained. But he needed to be socialised so I took him out in a dog bag. Our dude is quite laid back but a nightmare when out on a lead. This is a massive responsibility. You’ll be out all day which just doesn’t work for a puppy. Please re-think this.

This sounds like it’s going to turn into misery for all concerned - you, the nanny, the poor puppy. Still, at least your husband can have his fantasy of a lovely puppy around the place - but apparently with no practical clue about how to deal with it, and he’ll be away all day anyway.
Puppies are a huge amount of work in the early days, and even when they are grown need to be considered in everything you do - daycare, holidays, days out...
You clearly don’t really want it so please put your foot down before it’s too late.

I am a dog owner and what you should do is not get a puppy.

Has the nanny actually signed up to training your puppy for you?

You need to be on top of your game for toilet training and socialising/getting them used to the world before they can even go out for walks. It genuinely doesn't sound like either of you have time and I'm sure the nanny wont have either!

Sorry I missed your previous post. Your husband sounds like an arsehole. The awful thing is if you tell him it’s all on him the puppy will be neglected. He’s out of his tree.

What experience does the nanny have with puppies? Have you informed the breeder of your circumstances? If so, and they still think you are suitable then they need shooting with shit

What to do is not get a puppy
Your nanny won’t be “ minding it” she will be training it and cleaning up after it. I don’t know how old your dc are but she won’t be able to spend as much time with them as previously
I have a Golden Retriever and I was able to take a lot of time off when we got him but it was very very hard work. My dc are older but lab puppies are relatively big with sharp teeth, they chew ( probably your children) and wreck things if left unattended
I know it’s not your idea and as I said your husband sounds awful but you really need to put a stop to this if you can

Do panic.

I got a golden retriever puppy last year having done loads of research and planning, two adults home full time, lots of support, lots of teamwork. It STILL nearly broke me - having a puppy (especially a massive bouncy lab) needs lots of time commitment and hard work. You are coming across as clueless OP.

Don’t leave your DH, tell him and the dog to go.

trying to get other dog owners opinions in order to work our what to do.
The thing to do - as all the dog owners are telling you - is not to get a puppy.
I’m sorry, everyone is jumping on you about this when really it’s your husband who is being a dick.

Getting a puppy is a major adjustment. In your circumstances I’d be willing to bet the poor thing is sent back/rehomed within the first couple of months. You are not set up at all for a dog let alone a puppy.

Your husband is an utter arsehole.

I got a puppy having never had a dog before..but I really wanted it, researched it and there was always an adult at home in the first few months.
For the first year ( maybe longer) I thought I'd made the worst decision ever and I really wanted a dog. I love him and wouldn't be without him now but will never get another puppy.
For everyone's sake you need to put your foot down and tell your husband no.

If this is for real, i hope you've got the nanny on board, it's certainly more than most would be prepared to take on.
Is your dh prepared to do all the cleaning up that having an untrained puppy/dog will create? I'm assuming the nanny doesn't work once you get home, tell your dh that you will leave any puppy mess for him to clear up when he gets home.
I assume you have told him that it won't be you getting up in the night when it needs to go out. What about taking it to the vet for it's inoculations? How will your dh fit that in with his 14 hour days?
When the puppy needs walking twice a day, how will your dh fit that in?
So many questions...

Don't get this puppy. Phone the breeder and tell her its been a huge mistake, you can't have the puppy. You can't expect a nanny to do her job and house train a pup. You're heading for disaster. Pups need 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for a long time.

House training - on the hour, every hour take the pup out. Every time the puppy wakes up, eats, has a good drink, starts sniffing and circling, take the puppy out. Wait in the rain, saying nothing till the pups wees or poohs. Praise pup, clean up. Start over
Have endless supplies of cleaning stuff for cleaning up when your pup has an accident in the house.

• Crate training
• Lead walk training.
• Going to dog training classes, not just for six weeks but until your pup is mature and has 100% recall, walks well on its lead,, will sit and settle in the evening when you want to.
• Stopping your puppy nipping your children. Puppies do that you know, they have sharp little teeth.
• They sometimes howl if you leave them.
• Labradors eat everything, including chairs, skirting boards and every toy your children leave lying around.

I could go on and on but I'll stop there and hope that all the other people posting here saying don't be cruel to this puppy by bringing it into a totally unsuitable home, have some influence.

You wanted to know what a typical day looks like.
Puppy wakes up between 4.30 and 6. Needs to go straight outside for a pee/poo. If it has soiled in it's crate overnight, chances are it will have trodden in the poo, so you either carry it out and get covered in poo, or let it run out and have to wash the floor.
You must go out with the puppy to supervise the pee/poo, otherwise you won't know if it's gone and the puppy will be distressed at being abandoned outside.
Bring the puppy in, if it's been raining, it's feet will need to be dried. Then it will want breakfast.
Straight after breakfast, it will need to go outside again (with you, as before)
Then it will want some form of stimulation, a game with you. If you ignore it, it will find it's own game (usually involving chewing something it shouldn't or running off with something precious, at least precious to the children).
After half an hour, it will need to go outside again.
You could do a bit of fun training with it at some point, it needs to learn its name and to walk nicely on a loose lead.
Then a play and outside again.
If you're lucky, it might have a sleep.
Then when it wakes up (maybe an hour or two), it will need a pee and poo.
Then it will be it's lunchtime.
Rinse and repeat all afternoon. If you are not actively watching it, it will find something to do and usually that involves destroying something.
Also factor in, a few accidents, so the carpets will need scrubbing.
Repeat and repeat and repeat.
You also need to take the puppy out to see the big, wide world. Before it finishes its inoculations, it should be taken in the car and watch things from either your arms, or the safety of the boot.
Once it's allowed on the ground, then you must make sure it sees lots of things and meets other dogs etc.
It should also attend dog training classes, as you appear to be a first time owner.
I strongly recommend you talk your dh out of this idea.

Whatever you do do not lock the poor thing in a cage for 70/80% of its life , which sadly is what sounds like will be happening .

OP, I think you've done absolutely the right thing in asking for help and advice. My advice is don't do it, but you've explained that your DH is adamant. I don't think you should be getting a hard time over something that doesn't seem to be in your control. You're asking for advice on what to do, which shows you care.

Firstly, the puppy needs it's own space and it definitely does not need puppy pads. We used to put one down on a night to help contain the mess but what actually worked was using a command word. You say the word when they start to pee or poo and eventually they associate the word with the action. You should be putting the puppy outside every hour or so, and every time it looks like it's going to go. They do catch on pretty quickly.

You need to remember that they don't like to toilet where they sleep or eat, so penning it in with a puppy pad is distressing. Keep on with the lifting outside until it gets the message, they it will want to go outside and start to ask. You need to do this over night too.

Once you've cracked that you need to work on basic commands, mainly recall which is the one which will keep it safe. Use it's name often, make coming to you the most exciting thing ever - whatever else it's distracted by can't be as exciting as you so it will always come back to you when you call.

Don't feed it human food; don't feed it left overs and make sure you get a list of foods which are poisonous to dogs espresso since you have children. Check what food it's been on and continue to use that, if you change then it has to be gradual.

Labradors are notoriously energetic, it needs to burn that energy otherwise it will become destructive and aggressive.

I don't think your nanny should be left the responsibility of the puppy, unless she is a dog trainer of course. I think in this situation you need to have a professional work with the family and the nanny at the start.

I can't help thinking this dog is going to end up being badly behaved, untrained and a hindrance on the family which is an awful fate for a puppy. You sound like a lovely person OP, you are concerned about the welfare of the dog. Your DH sounds awful, if he's given you an ultimatum I'd take him up on it.

People aren't going to give you advice because what you're planning is unfair and borderline cruelty.

Who do you value most? Your nanny or your DH? Who will get up in the night to soothe the puppy when it's crying? Who will get up at 5.30am to take the puppy out for a pee? And every subsequent 20 minutes? Is your nanny happy to clear up crap 3 or 4 times a day? How do you expect her (or him) to do her normal job as well?

I think you are not only misguided but cruel and stupid to imagine for one tiny second that is workable. And I feel very sorry for the confusion and distress you will cause the puppy. Put an end to it now - seriously.

Hell. Puppies are hell. Mine was, she was the devil. She’s the best dog a woman can want now but by Jove she was evil to me when a puppy. Biting. They bite. They need to be trained not to bite that it’s not good and you don’t do this by smacking them.
You need to build up leaving the puppy unless you want them to have separation anxiety. Start at 15 mins then build it up by 15mins each time. Labradors are very very chewy and food orientated so you must make sure they have a safe environment at all times. No kids toys lying around where you aren’t watching them. You can take the puppy in the car and a lot of day cares accept young dogs too. They will have you up through the night howling and crying. You have to be strong and ignore them. Though I was not my puppy slept with me in bed (I do not care if you do not agree with this) and I let her out whenever she needed to go. Your puppy will have you up early on a morning. Your puppy will need to be trained to wee and poo outside. They will wee and poo on your carpet I advise you do not use training matts for this. Let them out every hour and reward with a treat whenever they wee or poo outside - not in. The nanny being the dogs cared isn’t ideal - unless they love dogs. They take up a lot of time OP. They’re worth it, it’s only hard work for the first year. But your situation does not sound ideal at all OP.