What if I’m not cut out to be a dog owner?

[Inbedbynine]

Please don’t be horrible to me but today have bought a pup home. He’s adorable but I’m sitting here wondering if I’m not cut out for it? Hes done all his wees outside today, Iv put him in his crate next to me by my bed (I go to bed at 9) and he’s cried in his crate for about 15 minutes and is now quiet, I feel like crying. What if I’m not good enough? Do I really know what I’m doing? No I don’t. I had an apt with the trainer and discussed stuff, have puppy class starting on Thursday, had advice from the lovely breeder but I feel like I’m not going to be able to cope all of a sudden? I know our lives will never be the same again.... I love him but I’m scared? I know first 6 months are hard, then the first year etc but I feel a bit overwhelmed? Have I done the wrong thing?! Do these feelings mean I shouldn’t have got him?

You sounds like you are going to be a great responsible dog owner who cares about doing a good job.

My advice - get the dog out of your room. Stop listening to it crying during the night. it is safe, warm, fed - it will survive.
Let it out for a wee as late a you can possibly manage (12pm?) and then as early in the morning as you can manage (5.30am?)

Then every 20 mins during the day until you have nailed house
training. Once it has done a wee it will go longer than 20 mins.

Don't put it in our bed either. No need to create bad habits now that will need sorting at a later date. Concentrate on creating good habits.

I just took him out and he did a wee and have put him back but crying...

smell was he in just a bed? Breeder said crarwcteain..

Crate train

@Smellbow
That made me go awww 🐶😍

If he slept in his bed in my bed or on the sofa next to me in his bed will that mess it all up for me? I don’t sleep well as it is and can feel my anxiety creeping in when it was ok..

I had to lay next to the crate for 2 nights, than near the crate for another 2, and also added in a ticking clock and a pet bed warmer in case he was missing the heat and heartbeats of his siblings. It's hard but worth it. I'm 6 months in and over the worst I think

I don't think easing him in and being very close for a bit will ruin anything. He's just scared and unsettled but will adjust

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want him in my bed..... don’t mind in my room just not in my bed. I sleep really badly as it is. I struggle to fall asleep and stay asleep...

Is there any way you can reach him through the crate? Your touch would settle him I think

When we got DDog1, I was terrified I would 'break' him, as I had never had a dog before and was doing most of the day time stuff with him. I am proud to say that I taught him to sit! We now have DDog2, who is still a puppy and requires boatloads of attention.

DDog2 was fine in his crate at night, although the first few weeks he spent in a cat carrier at night at the side of the bed (small dog!), but then one night realised he was alone all night while all the rest of us went upstairs and the crying started. In the end, we took him upstairs too and that was that. He does wander around at night and jump on and off the bed, but thankfully I sleep in a different room, so my sleep is not disturbed.

I completely get how you are feeling, but honestly, your pup will settle down. And what a little star for weeing outside! It may not feel like it, but you're off to a great start!

Have you tried the old trick of wrapping an old fashioned ticking clock in one of your old jumpers? Clock is said to resemble mums heartbeat and your jumper...well like a newborn, it reminds them of you.

I'm sure you'll be absolutely fine. Although I'm sat here typing with my nearly 17yr old mutt snoring beside me!! He did start out in his bed but...

I feel like Iv made a big mistake.... I don’t know if I’m cut out for this. Spent years researching and know people with dogs and knew the tie they are.... but it doesn’t feel ‘right’ I just feel dread?

I can’t fall asleep despite him being quiet for a bit.... I feel sick

I don’t have a ticking clock.....

You'll be fine. Honestly. Maybe put the radio on low for him?

It’s the first night stop overthinking it all. He’s a baby who needs looking after, stick at it, it’ll all come together.

I'm on night 7 with my new puppy.
She's doing well with the toileting as long as she is downstairs.. I let her come upstairs today and she weed on the carpet so downstairs it is for now so we can get outside quickly.

But the crate.. nope. She will nap in it briefly but at night I'm on the sofa and she's on a dog bed next to me. Anything else and she cries. If I leave the room to go to the loo..she cries.

Half of me wonders if I'll ever see my bed again. BUT she's a baby.. a week ago she was snuggled up her Mum, so of course she cries. Some would disagree but I'm going with the Facebook Dog Training and Advice files which suggest to let her sleep with me by her as long as she needs, to follow me everywhere, and only very gradually work up to expecting her to cope.

It's my first dog and I'm worried about everything, but it WILL be ok. So will you. It's early days for us!

You'll be fine, first few nights are always tough. If you don't want him on your bed, can you camp on the floor with him? It's a big change for him to be away from his mother and litter mates and contrary to popular opinion, comforting him for the fist week or so, won't make an impossible habit to break. If he starts off feeling secure, he is less likely to develop separation anxiety later on.

I’m reading this as I’m 2 weeks from bringing my first puppy home. I’d really like to crate train and have had no intention of bringing the dog upstairs at first but now I see that might not be so easy. I too was worried that if I started sleeping near puppy it would be difficult to stop.

Don't be too hard on yourself. I struggled massively for the first 6 months mostly, essentially because I was flung back into something very reminiscent of the chaos and insecurity of having a newborn. I cried a lot. Then one day, my husband said that I shouldn't think about the mistake I'd made for one month. Then after a month I should see how I felt. It was brilliant because in that month things got a bit easier (I probably just relaxed because the pressure eased significantly) and I fell in love with him. He clearly adored me and I couldn't imagine giving him up. Let yourself find this hard. Give yourself time. All puppies grow up and when they do, the dog that emerges will see you as it's life and will love you forever.