Young Puppy Support Group

[DuchessDarty]

I’d been looking for one of these but the only puppy support thread currently running is for older puppies. I’ve seen a few threads recently from posters who have new puppies like me, and thought I’d start our own group as I’d love to compare notes. But all welcome!

To kick off -

My pup, DartyPup, is a female poodle cross who is nearly 11 weeks old. Very sweet, friendly, fairly calm, sleeps a good stretch at night in her crate no problem and is happy to play in the garden by herself if I’m in the kitchen/conservatory and we easily have eyes on each other. She has a lot of naps and is doing well with house training.

But- she has the usual puppy traits of being needy and nippy. She loves biting bare toes and has a witching hour in the evening (as another poster aptly describes it!).

I adore the bond we seem to have bit am finding it draining. My children are old enough to be hands on and are keen to be, but their periods of peak energy don’t always correspond with the Pup’s. And when it comes down to it, she often wants me and so will whine if left with them downstairs while I escape for a rest. If they mistakenly leave a door open giving her access to the stairs, she’ll leg it up to find me. A stair gate isn’t an option unfortunately due to the design of our stairs.

Both my kids have never been particularly early risers and I’ve always been secretly pleased about dodging 6am wake up calls ... until DartyPup.

Pudding mama I know what you mean about the FB page it can seem very rigid but it is based on a lot of experience. I think it's like parenting, some bits you will find useful, others not so much, you will find a way that works for you and your puppy.

I. AM. SO. TIRED. Circumstances have taken DH away since Thursday last week. We bout MarvelPup home on Saturday. I've had to handle new pup who won't be left and can't go down outside as well as two kids, school and nursery runs, builders and on very little sleep. I'm beyond exhausted. Counting down the nights until he gets home the end of this week.

Anyone got some super strong coffee or can magically make his bladder big enough to sleep through. Stat!

It will get better I promise! We are now a month down the line and already I can look back at those early days and remember how tired, stressed and anxious I felt. Pup was stuck to me like Velcro, worried I would never be able to ever go out alone again, worried I was doing it all wrong despite having raised a puppy before.
It's much like parenting, there are different approaches and methods. Yes you can screw it up but generally if your heart is in the right place you you won't. Listen to advice but don't take it as gospel, your puppy hasn't read the textbook!

Is anyone having success on introducing their pup to the cat? Morton pup has been with us for 3 weeks now and he knows to sit calmly around her. He's more interested in his treats/toys than the cat but he can't help himself chasing her whenever she moves. I think it's playful, tail wagging etc and easily distracted but my poor cat is refusing to come down stairs.

@3teens2cats thanks. That's exactly how he feels. It's his inability to sleep overnight that's a killer. But I know if I keep setting him and let him pee as he needs he'll get there. He's doing so well in his crate during the day. I progressed to shutting the door while he was awake this morning so cat could feed. No whining. Lots of treats. It was fab.

@Morton30 Might answer your question about cat. My puppy just wants to chase him and bark. Cat bopped him one yesterday and he remains undeterred. I guess give it time and let the baby ones calm down.

Ms marvellous that sounds very hard, it will pass very quickly. You deserve a lovely lie in or a nap when your dh gets back. We had first puppy class last night, they were mainly small dogs and I thought Susu was very well behaved but she was intimidating all the small pups. Then I woke her up cause I needed a wee at 5 am and I knew she would wake up and then she wouldn't go back to sleep. I have been leaving her for an hour while I walk the other dogs and she seems to have been fine but I have to leave her for another hour today which I'm a bit worried about. In 3 weeks I have to leave her for the school day, I have 2 separate friends who are each going to come and spend an hour with her but I'm still really worried at the min I can leave her but I time it around when she is tired not when I need to go somewhere. I already have 2 dogs and I'm finding it scary, I think cause I haven't had a big dog before also I want her to not have the bad things my others do, the spaniel is awful on the lead and the terrier is a grumpy arsehole with other dogs. My 2 seem to be accepting her now and they even let her on the sofa last night.

@ditavonteesed my older dog is unfortunately teaching my pup all her bad habits. I've got a highly strung staff cross who loves the eat the hose pipe and dig... now I have 2 hose pipe eating, plant pot digging dogs. Honestly want to cry. It took my dog about 2 and a half weeks to accept the pup and even know she needs her quiet time away from him. Keep telling myself one day they will be best friends...

@MsMarvellous it's good to know I'm not alone!! Time seems to feel like it's stopped with a pup

Sorry for all the spelling mistakes! Typing while wrestling the remote out of the pups mouth

Re cats... We have 2 which have always lived with a dog but never a puppy. One is fine, really not bothered even though he chased her a couple of times. The other won't have anything to do with him. She now lives upstairs and outside most of the time. She is a shy cat by nature and he is too unpredictable for her at the moment. In time she will come around. We are not forcing it and letting her do what she wants to. It's karma from when she was a kitten and would annoy our previous dog!

I am currently getting really frustrated trying to cook tea and Susu keeps destroying stuff the minute my back is turned but when I put her in the crate she is whining. She's behaving perfectly again now someone has come downstairs. I don't know how your doing it on your own.

I'm crying a lot and expecting too much of my 7 year old. I've given in and brought the airbed downstairs. He won't settle in my room so I have to come to him. At least I might get some sleep tonight.

He's not eating his dinner though. Just had a nibble and now mooching on me for cuddles.

Mixed feelings today about my little boy (15 weeks tomorrow). On the plus side he's affectionate, bright, and cute, he's more or less sleeping through the night, getting to be more or less toilet trained. He is full of character and very engaging. But he will not leave my cat or other dog alone, he's just sooo bouncy and in their faces, very excitable, high energy, and he barks at other dogs when out and walks. He also barks at people but is more easily distracted. I took him for a long walk tonight to tire him out and he's been asleep since 8.00pm!! I do think maybe he needs more exercise and stimulation to wear him out. I certainly feel worn out! Working, taking care of kids a and a house, and having a puppy is HARD work.

Tinkywinky, what Breed is he? Do you walk them together or seperate? Is the older dog tolerating him? Sounds hard work, my biggest problem is also the other dogs, they won't play with her and they get the face on when I do. Susu is chewing everything, I am just walking round with a bottle of chew stopper and saying no all the time I feel a bit like with the kids where I want to stop saying no. Any good toy recommendations, we generally only have kings as the terrier destroys all toys so that makes it harder.

At night Susu is so tired when she goes out that she has a quick wee and poo but then I think she actually needs more we put her in crate and she cried for a few minutes, I thought it was just her settling but this morning she has weed in the crate so now I feel very guilty. I did put puppy pads in there but I took them out when she seemed to be dry at night so I think I will put them back in for tonight. I don't want to upset her or put toilet training back. We have also had a wee in the house every evening while I'm cooking tea, I know it's cause she hasn't got my full attention but I do need to feed people.

We went to puppy club on Tuesday which she loved but took ages to settle from and she went out yesterday, she was amazing on the lead. So I'm very proud of her really.

I find toileting goes to pot in the evening. I’m trying to do dinner. The dog and me are tired and then there are accidents.
I also use puppy pad in crate and it has been clean for about a week. But I’m loathe to remove it.

Mine is still annoying and being too rough with my older dog. It makes me sad that I’ve made a bad decision to get a puppy.

It is tricky when you are trying to get stuff done isn't it. Pup will ask to go out but I am anxious to get back to the dinner or whatever I was doing so probably don't give him enough time and then of course the second we come back in.... a puddle. He also pees when he gets over excited or overtired too I have noticed.
How do your puppies signal they want to go out? Mine goes and sits by the back door which is fine if you notice but he still can't hold it too long so you can guess what can happen. I have bought the puppy bells as recommended on here. At the moment we are just building up an association between the Bell noise and the door opening, no idea if that is the correct approach. I hope in time he will nudge the bell to alert us more quickly, or bark to go out. Our last dog would scratch the door and bark if we hadn't noticed.

I’m having one of those ‘what am I doing?’ days. PuddingPup is so bitey, and being mostly bull breed it hurts! I use a positive interrupter and always keep a toy close to distract but I feel really overwhelmed today because I know this will be a long process. I guess I’m just worried he’s going to be a bitey adult no matter what I do.

My partner last had dogs in the days of correctives and dominance theory and although he’s following my lead in positive training you can tell he thinks it’s all namby pamby crap.

I’m really worried I’m causing separation anxiety. His area is the kitchen and it’s baby gated. I left him there to settle the children to bed and there was a bit of whining, came up to find he’d started to chew the doorframe. He’s never been left completely alone by himself and usually curls up by the door or in his crate to wait for me if I pop upstairs.

Obviously don’t want to make the problem worse and just sort of feel I’m getting it all wrong.

The "interactive"biting does stop, although other kinds of biting in some situations can persist if you don't train properly/reinforce as they hit adolescence. (My dog is proof of this, he still very occasionally nips as a way of getting attention when he is bored or overtired and overhandled, and I am having to go back to basics - teaching sit when greeting rather than patting him, house line so he settles at my feet and can be ignored when he jumps up, time out for overtiredness)

But the constant nipping at ankles and wanting to bite your hands when you touch them, play with them, show affection of any sort...that definitely wears off by about 18 weeks. I had a stage when the puppy couldn't settle on the sofa next to us at all without thinking it was a bitefest - so much for my idea of puppy cuddles.

Biting and chewing gives pleasure and as well as being a way to defend themselves, using their mouths gives positive feedback, so you have to keep remembering to avoid situations where you are reinforcing that pleasure, and give them other things to bite or stimulate/calm down instead instead. Even jumping up and saying ow wasn't quite so good as reinforcing the pleasure of nice sleep and something to chew in the crate, and a game which didn't involve hurting humans.

I would try and use the crate or (as a behaviourist recommended to me a houselead wound round your foot, so he settles next to you without being able to bite) more in the situations where you really cannot stop him biting but you don't necessarily expect him to be alone.

also a little walk (if dog isn't in need of a sleep) and lots of things to sniff also was a good diversionary tactic. Sniffing apparently soothes and calms as well as stimulating dogs, which is why a walk apparently doesn't have to be about loads of exercise mileage more about change of scene, sniffing territory.
(a behaviourist told me all this yesterday

I also think, and behaviourist confirmed this yesterday, that never leaving your dog downstairs when you are upstairs during the day or for short periods to go out (half an hour here to start, a hour there much later on) is setting your dog up for separation anxiety rather than the reverse. They learn to settle themselves and at that age they need sleep - the key is to find a place that they can settle themselves in cosily with things to chew which are not the door frame!

No-one can live their life completely glued to a puppy - watching different kind, people go up and down the stairs go out come back in that is all part of socialisation I feel.

I think we also get very confused by the difference between positive reinforcement and corrective training. For example the behaviourist yesterday told me that when the dog jumped up at the door I had to start with a sit, and then a treat, and no patting or cuddling. Oh how cruel I thought, to greet a dog like that, but as she pointed out, the dog doesn't mind, it gets a lovely treat and you can give him a cuddle later. It is not corrective and harsh to train, even if appears to be less cuddly and kind. The dog doesn't have these concepts - the pleasure it gets from food and doing the right thing when asked, is as great as the pleasure it gets from our anthromorphizing "cuddle" when it jumps up, which we fear not to give.

Dd was saying, oh the dog won't like me if I don't pet him at the door, it will be cruel. But the dog still likes her for other things, the affection she gives at other times.

Nettleskeins

Thank you so much, that’s all very reassuring. I think it just all hit me this morning and I felt really upset that I’m not enjoying it right now. There’s so much to think about and it’s hard to get everyone on the same page. I have anxiety anyway and he’s sent me a bit into over drive.

@Nettleskeins that's really interesting. I've been mostly ignoring him to settle in a safe place (kitchen) while I'm working and leaving him there for loo but I've been rushing to get back. I might be more leisurely 😂

Hi, can I join please 👋 We have a nearly 9 week old Pomeranian x French Bulldog puppy. We have had him 4 days now and slowly making some progress with crate training. We had to take the blanket out of his crate because he was using it to wee on (maybe it felt soft like grass) and since doing that we have had no overnight accidents hooray! He does have a big cuddly bear that he sleeps on top of though 🥰