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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Getting a dog advice

214 replies

crappyday2018 · 24/03/2019 15:07

I've been desperate to buy a dog for a long time now and hope to get one next year. I'm already trying to do as much research as possible so I'm prepared.
My working hours would mean I would be home by 3.30 (Mon-Wed), home by 6pm on a Thurs and my oldest would be home by 2.30pm on a Friday.
I intend to get a dog walker to come in around lunchtime every day (even on my short days).
Do you think getting a walker to do a 30 minute walk at lunchtime will be enough if I take it out in the morning and then straight after work too?
I'm looking to get a Labradoodle.

OP posts:
Poochnewbie · 25/03/2019 06:50

I have young children - 2 and almost 8. Walking isn’t a problem. Both come along. We often put kids on bike and balance bike and off we go. Or, we go into fields where the dog can run freely and play games.
Also, mine aren’t sick of the puppy or scared of her, despite her being a piranha on 4 jumpy legs.
I don’t see the kids as a problem if they’re as enthusiastic about a dog as you are.

Notrusthere · 25/03/2019 07:59

So are we now adding single parents to the ever growing mumsnet list of people who must NEVER get a dog?! Just because the kids may not want to come on walks?! Tough, they are kids they do what they're told (besides it's good for them!)

The list of people who are allowed a dog is getting very small....

If you work full time...nope
If you work part time (as OP does)...nope
If you work from home....nope (puppies need to be taken out every 20 minutes bla bla bla)
Young kids...nope
Not so young kids (as OP has)...nope, children may get knocked over and scared and won't want to come on walks
Older kids....nope, they'll be moving out soon

OP I think your plan sounds fine with a few weeks off as you've said to get puppy used to surroundings and get started on toilet training.

Thursday's may be a bit longer than ideal but remember before dog day care existed? People and the majority of dogs managed fine.

It sounds to me like you are reallygiving this serious thought so well done for that.

To be fair you were probably on a hiding to nothing as soon as you mentioned getting a poodle cross....should probably add anyone considering one to the list above!

Costacoffeeplease · 25/03/2019 08:35

Just to go back to the breed snob thing, my current dogs are strays that were literally picked up off the street/from a field as pups as were my last 4 dogs - no fancy breeds here

IncrediblySadToo · 25/03/2019 09:59

I think you’re nuts.

Do you really want to be hauling your two kids out of bed an hour earlier in the morning to walk the dog every single school day? Borrow one of your parents dogs for a while...see how soon that novelty wears off. Do it in winter.

Your dog will be home alone loads, I think it’s selfish.

Yes, years ago dogs were left at home on their own for hours on end. It doesn’t mean it didn’t distress them. We know better now, so we should do better now.

Floralnomad · 25/03/2019 10:07

Yes it’s madness to suggest that dogs cannot be left alone but it’s also rubbish to suggest that you are going to be getting small children up an hour earlier than necessary in the middle of winter when it’s chucking it down with rain to walk a dog . What bothers me about these type of threads is the amount of time these poor unfortunate dogs spend sitting around in cages .

crappyday2018 · 25/03/2019 10:14

@Notrusthere thank you for seeing another side. I do appreciate people offering advice and giving me things to think about. There have been a lot of assumptions that we would get bored, not walk the dog or leave it in a crate all day. Or worse, its been suggested my dog would end up a rescue dog because it was more work that I thought. It was also suggested by someone that my younger son might be scared even though I've already said they spend time with a dog (very boisterous one at that).
In terms of the morning walk, I may consider walking to school rather than taking the dog out early so that would help with the morning issue. My oldest can be left alone for short periods.
As for my oldest not wanting to bother when he gets in, at least he is there to let the dog out for the toilet until I get home - I;m not expecting him to take it out for an hour walk.

OP posts:
crappyday2018 · 25/03/2019 10:15

And people seem to be fixated on the Labradoodle thing. I have also stated several times that I've not decided yet and that if that type of dog isn't suitable, I would look at more suitable breeds.

OP posts:
crappyday2018 · 25/03/2019 10:17

Also, the suggestion I would be 'dragging' children out of bed in horrible weather is a bit over the top.
People are quick to judge when kids don't get outside to exercise and play but apparently we also can't expect them to go out for walks with a dog now either.
Like i said, I am taking everything on board but some people clearly just don't agree with having dogs when you work so not much I can do about that.

OP posts:
Notrusthere · 25/03/2019 11:30

The thing is this board (or the majority of posters) falls very far to the side of "dogs shouldn't be left alone, you shouldn't work of you have a dog etc etc"

It is assumed that anyone who does work is leaving the dog alone for very long periods, not exercising the dog properly and the dog is understimulated and miserable.

In reality most people with dogs fall somewhere in the middle of this. I don't know anyone who prioritised their dog over their children, their way of life, the need to work....and I know many many happy well adapted, well mannered, well socialised dogs.

As an example, everyone on here either uses or suggests Doggy day care, i dont know a single person who uses it. Dog walker if you work full time yes, but day care no.

Ellapaella · 25/03/2019 11:50

@crappyday2018 mumsnet is probably the worst place you can come to ask for advice on dog ownership.. there are some very irate and officious posters on here who basically feel that no one should get a dog unless they are going to be in the same room as it 24/7 for the duration of its entire life.

To get a more balanced view I would recommend looking at some of the very helpful and informative (and less dramatic) Facebook pages on dog advice training and support - there is one I'm a member of and I'll see if I can find a link.

We have a Labrador and 3 kids aged 4,8 and 16 and manage fine with our dog. The kids often have to come on dog walks as DH and I are obviously not always at home at the same time and it's fine. We go to the beach or field and dog sprints for ball, swims in sea etc while kids run around and play. I have never got in the habit of doing early morning walks, on the 3 days I work a dog walker comes in at 10am and takes her out for two hours. She then sleeps in the afternoon until we get home around 3.30-4 and then she gets taken out again for an hour around teatime.

crappyday2018 · 25/03/2019 12:24

@notrusthere @ellapaella thank you, that is really helpful. If you can find any links to other advice sites, that would be great.
I did expect to get flamed by some on here but was surprised at how many were negative about it. It was quite disheartening when I'm trying to find out as much as I can so I am actually being responsible.

OP posts:
missbattenburg · 25/03/2019 13:06

Dogs are like kids - everyone has their own way of doing it and whilst there might some key fundamentals we all agree are right or wrong, there are huge variations of the more complex and greyer areas. I might decide that I would not be happy keeping a dog in x way but someone else may well be able to keep the right dog, happily like that.

I wouldn't change that here because it is a forum, a place for debate. A place to gather opinions but not necessarily agree with all of them.

Ultimately, though, it'll be the dog that 'decides'. There are as many different dog personality types as there are people. It'll either cope with with being left or it won't. A good question to ponder would be, what'll you do if it cannot cope?

The big call out I would make is, to use the logic "I know loads of happy dogs who are left all day" is to only see half the picture. Of course they are happy. The chances are, they would have been rehomed if not. There tends to be only so long someone can come home to poo everywhere or a chewed up carpet or holes in the wall, before they take the dog to a shelter and surrender it because they cannot give it the time. People also tend not to tell too often if they have ever had to rehome a dog because they couldn't cope. The bit of volunteer work I have done with dog shelters, that and intolerance to children seem to be the top reasons. It seems likely to me, then, that the dogs that remain in the family home are the ones who can cope. The RSPCA did some research and found that 80% of dogs display stress behaviours when left alone (obviously to massively varying degrees) but in only 50% of cases could the owners recognise the dog was stressed. That would further suggest that the not all the 'happy' dogs are happy. They are just not the kind of stressed that gets them rehomed.

Of course, there are also genuinely happy dogs who spend time alone each day. I suspect they biggest influencing factor, after the dog's personality, is how much effort their owners put in outside those times.

Anyway, just food for thought. If only to add 'research stress behaviours' to your list of things to learn about in advance Smile

With regards to picking any breed, my top tip would be to read the worst about that breed and be sure you can cope with it, if is happens. If looking at cross breeds then read the worst of BOTH breeds and be prepared.

A labradoodle (just using your example) could be a relaxed, intelligent, easy to train and loving dog. The best of both. Or it could be an energetic, chewy, needy, hates to be left alone, too smart to easily entertain pita. Be prepared for the worst of both breeds to know you can cope with whatever comes your way.

It is also true that finding a decent breeder for a cross will be harder than a pedigree - because you will struggle for a decent starting point. With pedigree dogs you can use the breed club and KC to get a list of breeders and then apply your own checks to weed out the good from the bad. With crosses that starting point isn't available to you, so you start from cold. They are also popular and popularity always attracts people just in it for £. You would have a similar problem re popularity with frenchies, chis, pugs etc.

Have a look at www.facebook.com/groups/374160792599484/

Notrusthere · 25/03/2019 13:17

Missbattenburg - nice sensible informative post and far less grumpy and argumentative that mine 😁

Notrusthere · 25/03/2019 13:30

Crappyday - please dont get disheartened! You sound lovely and like you are really doing your homework. I'm sure you'll be able to give a lucky pup a wonderful home.

crappyday2018 · 25/03/2019 13:33

@missbattenburg many thanks for this. I've been reading up on loads of different breeds but the trouble is, websites seem to differ with their information!! I have asked friends and many who have the same breed say totally different things so it will be hard to make an informed decision on the breed (or cross-breed) to get.
I have requested to join that facebook group so hopefully will get more advice from there too.

OP posts:
Notrusthere · 25/03/2019 13:41

I can only give advice on retrievers as that's all I've ever had.

In general (And to emphasise this is only my experience)....

Happy to be left for a reasonable length of time, even as puppies
Lovable
Great with kids once your out of the bitey puppy stage
Easy to train if you put the effort in

Can take some time to be reliably toilet trained (2x flat coated retrievers both took a while, 2 golden retrievers got it pretty fast)

Flatcoats - mad as a bag of frogs

Goldens - calmer in general but had one who was very nervy and didn't like fireworks thunder etc whereas the flatcoats used to sit in the garden and watch them on bonfire night 😅

Goldens shed ALOT!!
Flatcoats not as much

Both breeds need plenty of exercise but once grown quite happy with the odd day of 2x round the block walks and sleeping on the sofa.

You may not like either breed but they are all I know 😊

missbattenburg · 25/03/2019 14:01

@crappyday2018 the breed's original purpose can help give you clues.

e.g. dogs bred to work with closely with an owner (e.g. gun dogs) tend to be clingier to one person than those bred to work independently (e.g. terriers).

Dogs bred to use their mouth (all retrieving breeds) tend to enjoy chewing more than those who don't.

Dogs bred for ratting might be tennis ball obsessed in a way that those bred for fishing are not.

Dogs bred to guard tend to have short socialisation periods in which to get used to the world (this is how they learn that goats are friends but strange men looking to steal them are not). Therefore, could more reactive to new things once grown.

Dogs bred to be companion dogs (e.g. pugs) tend to need much less exercise than those bred to work 8 hours a day (looking at you, collies).

Again, all dogs are individuals. You will get lazy springers and pugs that can hike all day. But the breed purpose gives you a starting point.

crappyday2018 · 25/03/2019 14:02

@Notrusthere thank you! What made you decide on a Retriever in the first place?
My friend has a cocker spaniel and she said she chose that breed as they are good family dogs. However, he cannot be trusted around kids he doesn't know, so that hasn't worked out very well for her.
I've been reading about Basset Hounds as they come up a lot as being lower energy, good with kids and ok alone but then other websites say the opposite!!
I suppose, its like everyone has said, its pot luck!

OP posts:
missbattenburg · 25/03/2019 14:05

Just to add - another reason to find a great breeder is that they will be able to tell you about their line. Including the personality traits in their bitch and the dog they chose to stud.

They should be breeding to produce well temperamented and sound dogs, so should be able to talk extensively about the parents temperaments and why they thought the resultant puppies would be as good/even better.

crappyday2018 · 25/03/2019 14:10

@missbatterburg thank you, I have heard that. Another friend at work has a springer spaniel who come from excellent breeding. He is apparently a joy of a dog in all ways. So, it clearly does help.

OP posts:
MultipleMum5 · 25/03/2019 14:14

Hi OP

Sometimes I find the responses on here a bit hysterical when it comes to people working full time, but I think you’ve had some good advice on this thread, even if it’s not what you wanted to hear.

My pup is 12 weeks old, we collected her from 8 weeks. I got her from a reputable breeder, been on the waiting list for her for a year, her parents were health tested up to the eyeballs. I have 5 young children and wanted her to be bombproof. Getting a cross breed does put you at risk of getting a pup from a dodgy breeder, which can lead to ending up with a puppy with a whole world of issues, health wise and behaviourally.

As for leaving her- I think your hours for an older dog would be fine. But definitely not with a young pup. I can just about leave mine for 2 hours now, in her crate. She would not do well at being let out for half an hour and then back in for several more hours. It’s awful hearing them bark and cry and to do that 5 days a week would be very unfair on a baby dog.

I know what you’re saying about walking it beforehand but you can’t walk a young pup that long. Mine is currently having 15 minute on lead walks.

I think you’d have to look into daycare to make it work with a young puppy. If I was in your position I would look at getting a younger dog in foster care, that has lived with children and had been assessed 😊

missbattenburg · 25/03/2019 14:19

A really useful article on separation problems, including some common sense do's and don'ts... Just for additional info.

www.thecanineconsultants.co.uk/blog/separation-anxiety-fact-vs-fiction?fbclid=IwAR3XqkVA5gqEGn5THyNODIGAyqUPVFOslLY5P4iPtIJw97heKF10siULXZ4

Notrusthere · 25/03/2019 14:28

@crappyday2018 when I was born my parents had a 3 year old golden. When she dies they got a flat coat bit my heart was with that golden, she was wonderful.

So when I was in a position (not a mumsnet approved position but ah well) to get a dog I went for a golden.

My brother has since got another flat coat and I'm now on my 3rd golden.

I'd never have another breed other than the hair I wouldn't change anything

Notrusthere · 25/03/2019 14:29

Sorry typo alert!

*died
*but

Floralnomad · 25/03/2019 16:12

Don’t wish to put a downer on bassets OP but they do have a tendency to howl which may not go down well with any neighbours if you get one that howls when alone .