Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Did you stay with your dog when they were put to sleep?

86 replies

Daytimetellysucks · 15/01/2019 11:29

Did you regret it?

I really hope I don’t upset anyone, but I’m having a bit of a hard time with this and just really wondered if anyone else felt the same

We very sadly had to have our dog put to sleep last week.

He had been unwell and we knew we were coming to the end of the road, but he deteriorated very quickly in the end and none of us were ready for him to go.

I stayed with him the whole time, there was never any question of me leaving him, and of course I’d do it again in a heartbeat, but I do regret it.

It was very calm and gentle and the vet was brilliant but I just can’t forget that last moment and I wish I hadn’t been there.

OP posts:
Original poster
Daytimetellysucks · 15/01/2019 18:29

Thanks all Flowers

And I hope I haven’t upset anyone

Hopefully I’ll feel better about it all in time. We’re still waiting for his ashes, I hate that he’s not here with us, so hopefully once he comes home it will feel a bit better.

He’s left a huge gaping hole, sometimes I forget he’s gone - this morning I chucked my toast crusts on the floor where his bowl used to be.

I wish that we could have given him the ending we wanted at home, I wish I’d taken him to the beach on Sunday instead of the boring walk. I am glad I stayed with him, but at the same time I wish I didn’t

It’s just sad and I miss him and it’s shit

Flowers to everyone else who has been/is going through the same

OP posts:
HoraceCope · 15/01/2019 18:32

i know how you feel, i did stay but it wasnt nice, but then it might have felt worse if i hadnt

Eifla · 15/01/2019 18:38

Yes. Never in a million years did I consider not being. I would never ever have forgiven myself.

He had been there for me throughout the past 14 years. I had to be there for the final time he would need me.

Accountant222 · 15/01/2019 18:49

I stayed with my jack Russell, it was the last thing I could do to ease his pain, it broke my heart and we didn't get another dog for years.

Dumpyandabdabs · 15/01/2019 19:00

My husband took our dog in for what we thought was a routine xray on ligament damage however they found a huge tumour in her hip that couldn't be treated. We made the horrendous decision not to bring her round from her anaesthetic. Months later I still feel so guilty that I wasn't there in her final moments so I think you definitely made the right decision.

strawberrypenguin · 15/01/2019 19:07

Not a dog but I've stayed with my cat. It felt wrong to leave her and I'm glad I was there. It's not an easy thing to watch but it was right for me to stay.
I'm sorry you found it so hard, and I'm sorry for the loss of your lovely dog.

mummabubs · 15/01/2019 19:12

I stayed with my last dog (my childhood dog) along with my two younger sisters. My mum felt unable to go in (which was the right decision for her at the time) but she felt guilty afterwards that she wasn't there for our dog or for us. Our dog wasn't aware at all as her larynx had collapsed so she was effectively on life support and heavily sedated.

I don't think there's a right or a wrong with this but people shouldn't feel pressured to do one or the other. It's a horrendous experience either way and self-care is important. I'm really sorry for your loss OP x Thanks

Knowivedonewrong · 15/01/2019 19:17

I'm sorry for your loss.
I was with my 15 year old cat when she was Pts, but I was taken by surprise as the vet said she had heart failure and needed to be pts immediately.
I've two dogs who are my world.
If the time comes for them to be pts then I will be there for them and have the vet at home.
They both hate going to the vets and I don't want to add to their distress.

Kneesbend · 15/01/2019 19:20

I was in your position recently. 7 weeks tomorrow.

The vets told me the amount of pain I am in now with grief is the amount of love he had for me.

I also have dominant memories of his last position. On the vets cold hard tile floor, wrapped in my coat. Just so cold how they’re here then in a split second and blink of an eye we have lost our best friends. So very cruel.

Cried now for 48 consecutive days but the nicer memories are starting to come back, thank goodness.

A cliché but give time time x

CoastalLife · 15/01/2019 19:28

Sorry for your loss Flowers

It's all very raw at the moment but in time I really think you will be glad you were there to offer comfort in his final moments. You and your family were his whole little world, so he really will have needed you at the end.

Our dog died of natural causes at home. We suspected it was coming but it was really quite horrible at the end (won't go into detail as it may be upsetting to some). It was very hard to watch and for a long time I was just in shock I think, and could only picture the trauma of the final minutes. But eventually that faded and I was just so glad that I'd been there to stroke his head and whisper to him and offer a little comfort and a lot of love.

Give it time x

Tinkerbell89 · 15/01/2019 19:48

Always no matter how hard it is. You don't want them to be upset Or distressed if you leave them and they're with someone unknown.

Vets say they have to panic when you leave and it's heart breaking as they're scared and basically alone when it happens.

They should be comforted by their family.

FinnegansWhiskers · 16/01/2019 00:11

God yes! 4 times. Throughout their lives each dog stayed by my side and thought I was the best thing since sliced bread! As hard as it was (and each time it was much more than hard! 😫 ) There is no way I could have let my dog go through this alone.

Time is a great healer OP Flowers

Christmasfairy07 · 16/01/2019 00:16

So sorry OP. The vet came to the house when our doggy was PTS & we all stayed with him ( unfortunately my DB was no longer living at home then). The vet was absolutely lovely & although it was heartbreaking, I’m glad we were there for our beloved pet at the end of his life

Steamfan · 16/01/2019 00:21

We were with our girl at the end - the vet came to our house. He was so kind to her, and we all cried when she was gone. I still miss her so much (it's almost 2 years now) Much love to you, Daytime

ineedtostopbeingsolazy · 16/01/2019 00:30

I had to take her to the vet, I sat on the floor with her and they gave her the sedative she was asleep and I had to leave I just couldn't watch the last bit I was traumatised.
I still wonder if I did the right thing by not staying but I was there with her until she went to sleep.
If they hadn't have given the sedative I would have stayed until the end I wouldn't have left her alone.

Spanielmadness · 16/01/2019 00:33

My dog is a year old and I’m crying just reading this thread. I couldn’t bear to leave him in his last moments

Original poster
Daytimetellysucks · 16/01/2019 08:42

Thanks all Flowers

I actually managed a good nights sleep last night.

Helps to talk about it I think - I can’t talk about it with my family as I don’t want to taint their memories.

I’ve only spoken about it quite lightly - explained that it was just like falling asleep, that he was calm, etc, etc.

There was a little moment when the sedative was going in where it felt like he was fighting it - he sort of tensed up and leaned into me. I guess he was just feeling a bit sleepy and weird but it has been on my mind a bit. I just wanted to tell the vet to stop.

I don’t know...it’s all just a bit weird at the moment. I never thought it would hit me this hard, I mean, he’s ‘just a dog’ but we all loved him and he’s left a huge hole.

OP posts:
Steamfan · 16/01/2019 10:21

never just a dog - I saw this on a pet's grave - "To the world she was just a dog - to me she was the world" - and that's how I feel about my girl.

Jens303 · 16/01/2019 10:30

I stayed when my cat was put to sleep - it must be really really confusing to them if you leave them when they are at their most vulnerable

GlasgowWorrier · 16/01/2019 10:31

My huge dog used to sleep on my knee as if she was a tiny puppy, leaning into me with all her velvety weight. At the end (she had a sudden, very aggressive cancer) I crawled into the pen she was in at the vet's and she laid her big head on my arm, just as if we were at home, napping on the sofa. The nurses let us stay like that for as long as we wanted, saying our goodbyes, and then the vet came in and she slipped away with the injection.

I hope it was the last thing my lovely girl knew, my smell and my warmth and the safety of my lap. It's the last memory I have of her, and it makes it a tiny bit easier that it wasn't so very different from many other similar hours we spent together.

This was 3 years ago and I've just made myself cry again

LittleCandle · 16/01/2019 10:42

I had to have both my cats PTS within 4 months over the end of 2017/beginning of 2018. The first time, there was nobody who could come with me to give me some support, but I stayed with my boy until the end. Both the lovely vet and her equally lovely vet nurse were about 12 (I'm getting on!). It was the last thing I could do for my boy and it broke my heart, but I could not have left him alone. When I had his brother PTS a few months later, my friend was able to come and we both sobbed our socks off (again the vet and nurse were very young) but I could not have left him. My oldest friend then had to have her cat PTS and just handed him over. I was quite shocked at that, but I would also have taken her cat several weeks earlier. It is the hardest part of pet ownership, but it is not something I would shirk doing. It won't be the memory that stays with you. I'm so sorry for your loss.

BiteyShark · 16/01/2019 10:58

Daytimetellysucks they are definitely not 'just a dog'. They are part of the family and a bloody great companion and loyal friend.

Flowers for you. I hope the pain subsides in time to leave just memories of joy.

justasking111 · 16/01/2019 12:49

I always look into their eyes. I know it sounds corny but the eyes are the window to the soul. You just know when the light goes out they are gone. Running free.

IdleBetty · 16/01/2019 12:59

No regrets whatsoever. She fell asleep in my arms, totally free of pain.
It was heartbreaking but lovely at the same time. She was a bit bewildered but I just kissed her face and held her tight till it was over.

Lonecatwithkitten · 16/01/2019 14:45

If you don't stay we as vets and the nurses do everything we can to comfort your pet, but it makes a huge difference to have you stay. It calms them and I always think in my last moment I want the person I most love in the world there telling me that they love me which is what we encourage owners to do.
As I slip the needle in I always tell the pet what a good girl/boy they are and the owners to tell them that they love them.

Swipe left for the next trending thread