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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

Did you stay with your dog when they were put to sleep?

86 replies

Daytimetellysucks · 15/01/2019 11:29

Did you regret it?

I really hope I don’t upset anyone, but I’m having a bit of a hard time with this and just really wondered if anyone else felt the same

We very sadly had to have our dog put to sleep last week.

He had been unwell and we knew we were coming to the end of the road, but he deteriorated very quickly in the end and none of us were ready for him to go.

I stayed with him the whole time, there was never any question of me leaving him, and of course I’d do it again in a heartbeat, but I do regret it.

It was very calm and gentle and the vet was brilliant but I just can’t forget that last moment and I wish I hadn’t been there.

OP posts:

missbattenburg · 15/01/2019 14:04

I knew someone who wanted her children to be there when their dog was pts. The vet sensibly refused.

I don't know whether I agree with this - though obviously it very much depends on the children involved. I was present for this when I was about 11 and it was, in no way, traumatic. I was grateful to be there and be part of the goodbye and think it really helped me later on when it came to being there as an adult. Just my take on it.

sollyfromsurrey · 15/01/2019 16:52

Perhaps if you reconcile yourself with the knowledge that the last thing your dog experienced was looking up at someone he loved with all his heart. He will have slipped away peacefully knowing nothing other than you loved him.

Maneandfeathers · 15/01/2019 16:56

I think staying with them it’s the kindest thing you can do at the end. Take comfort in the last thing he saw being the thing he loved most.

Nothing worse than holding a dog who’s owner has left and watching it look for them in its final seconds

sillysmiles · 15/01/2019 16:56

Thankfully I haven't had to go through that (yet), but genuinely think that while it is hard for you, that moment wasn't about you, but about him and what he needed and you did the right thing.

dudsville · 15/01/2019 16:57

That haunting feeling will ease, it's a part of the mourning process, you may have similarly been haunted if you hadn't stayed. I'm sorry you've had a loss. People who love and look after pets, knowing the end will come, are a special breed of lovely people.

Stopwoofing · 15/01/2019 17:01

I saw both my pet dogs pts, I would have been about 11 and and 16 or something like that, it was sad but I don’t remember being traumatised, that moment they are gone is just what the transition is like, it’s good life experience - my parents didn’t ask me if I wanted to be there but equally i didn’t say I didn’t want to be.

mimibunz · 15/01/2019 17:08

Yes, I stayed with my boy, telling him how much I loved him. It’s what you sign up for when you promise to love them for their whole life. I’m sorry for your loss, OP.

TooTrueToBeGood · 15/01/2019 17:15

3 of us were with our last dog when he was PTS - me, my wife and our youngest daughter. I think it's very much personal choice though. I just wanted to do what I could to comfort him and let him know how much he was loved right till the very end. I also wanted to be sure he was treated with compassion and dignity, not that I didn't have complete trust in our vet but for my own piece of mind.

God, just writing this has got me in tears with the memories coming back and it was over 2 years ago. Sorry for your loss.

Floralnomad · 15/01/2019 17:18

I’m the nominated person in my family so not only do I see the end of all my own pets but also my sisters menagerie . I’ve been at the demise of several dogs , 4 horses( injection not shooting ) , a couple of cats and a whole array of small pets . I also then organise the cremation and collection of ashes . Sorry for your loss

confusedandemployed · 15/01/2019 17:24

I was with my beautiful girl when she went, and I'm very much afraid that the time is coming with her brother, my wonderful beautiful boy.
There's not a cat's chance in hell I'd leave him alone, he's the love of my life (along with his sis) and has been there for me every minute of his long life. The very least I can do is be there for him at the end.
And I can promise that those last moments really do fade. Your boy has made far too many strong and happy memories for them to be overshadowed by a few seconds of sadness.

Bonkersblond · 15/01/2019 17:24

Yes, I stayed, it was the last thing I could do for her, she was in pain, she went to sleep with me stroking her head, hardest part was walking out the vet without her and coming home to an empty house and telling the kids. That was 5 years ago and I still miss her even though we have another gorgeous dog, they would have been lovely together.

NicoAndTheNiners · 15/01/2019 17:28

Yes.

Did it with my mums poorly dog when she was on holiday.

Did it with my own dog who had to be pts after 2 years of biting people and no progress with behaviourists.

First time was calm. Second time was awful. Dog was trying to take the vets arm off. Vet was terrified and kept dropping the needle. Dog was fighting everyone, had to be muzzled which he hated so was going crazy and I was trying to calm him down and hold him still. First injection didn't work fully, he looked dead but apparantly wasn't so vet had to draw up another injection. I still don't regret being there though even though I was quite traumatised. I needed to be there for him.

flapjackfairy · 15/01/2019 17:35

My cat meowed at me when he was going after his injection I felt So guilty and worried he had been distressed . It broke me and I couldn't get past that memory for a long time. We have just had another cat 4 yrs on. Like a lot of things time helps and the memories do fade . So sorry for your loss x

PottyPotterer · 15/01/2019 17:38

I work in a vets, the majority of people stay. I always feel really bad for the ones who's owners leave them as I think most animals are comforted by their owners presence, although I understand some people just can't cope. Sounds like your dog had a lovely peaceful end of life experience, it's more than most humans can hope for and it's completely pain free. We always feed our euthanasias biscuits from the staff tin as we're putting the injection in, not a bad way to go. Sorry you're having such a hard time with it OP but I think your dog would've appreciated it .

justasking111 · 15/01/2019 17:38

A vet told me if you stay the dog is relaxed and trusting. If you leave your pet can be distressed. So I always stay. OH will not.

CarolDanvers · 15/01/2019 17:43

Yes I stayed. He was very ill at the end but he knew I was there. I think it helped me as I was able to see him leave and see that he looked different after he went, he wasn’t there anymore and I do think that even though it’s hard seeing that it does help in the long run.

I’m sorry OP. It’s so hard to lose them x

Pasithea · 15/01/2019 17:45

Stayed with all of mine. Sometimes it was really peaceful. Sometimes the animal showed signs of stress. Of all my cats one didn’t go peacefully. Birds get stressed and horses can be a shock. But I think it’s a big learning curve and as long as it’s explained properly as it’s happening then fine.

PottyPotterer · 15/01/2019 17:46

Sorry you had to experience that Nico. In our practice aggressive or distressed animals would always receive sedation first, there's really no excuse not to.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 15/01/2019 17:46

So sorry for your loss xx

My husband took my old dog 20+ years ago. I was beside myself and couldn't have gone with him. I was wiped out with PND and said my goodbyes to him at home.

Seven years ago my parents young spaniel deteriorated very quickly and the vet offered to squeeze him in to be PTS before the start of surgery. My dad was so upset he couldn't think and so I offered to take him. I loved the dog but I took him to help my parents, rather than because he was mine and I am really glad I did.

The vet so lovely to us and to the dog, stroking him and singing to him and he just drifted away. I was able to go home to my parents and tell them how peaceful it was.

Then a couple of years later our old dog lost the use of her back legs and we knew she had to go and I didn't think twice about taking her. The same thing happened with our little terrier at the beginning of the summer. My daughter (16) came as well and we just stroked her ears and hugged each other until she had gone.

It was hard but no harder than if we hadn't been there.

Fairtatas · 15/01/2019 17:51

As a vet I would never put pressure on someone to stay if they didn’t want to. One compromise is to have a sedative injection with owner present so pet won’t be stressed when owner leaves and then euthanise once owner left. Nurses are excellent ay giving cuddles and treats and I cannot think of a case that was traumatic after owner left. A situation that needs to be managed best for owner and pet.

Bellatrix14 · 15/01/2019 17:58

I didn’t stay with my dog when she had to be put to sleep last year and I don’t regret it given the circumstances. I loved her to bits (I had her when I was 9 to nearly 23, so we were a team!) but for me it was the right decision to not be in there with her. I was exceptionally upset afterwards (as I know most people are) and I would have gone to pieces as it was happening. I’m personally of the opinion that your animal’s last memory should be a calm, positive one and I didn’t want my little friend’s last memory to be ‘Why is Bellatrix so upset, why is her heart beating so fast, she’s stressed, should I be stressed, is something bad happening?! etc.’

I was lucky enough that my dad went with her and held her so she was with someone she knew and trusted, and I might have made a different decision if I’d not had that option. I just think it’s important to remember that animals don’t know that they are about to be PTS, and they don’t think in the same way as we do. Saying that we ‘owe’ it to them to be there is not always the best option for the animal, in my opinion.

I’m sorry for your loss, OP

MrsRyan15 · 15/01/2019 18:07

So sorry for your loss OP and that you are struggling with it all.

Our dog was put to sleep in the summer, he was only 12 months old but became very ill very quickly.

We stayed with him through the process, in the lead up to it I wasn't sure I could do it and whether it would cloud all of the other memories that we had of him.

But I was glad that we were there, to see that it was gentle and he did not suffer, just slowly went to sleep and was no longer in pain.

I do sometimes think of that time with him and am glad that we were there with him and that his last thoughts (were hopefully) that he was going to sleep with his favourite people there with him.

Had I not been there I worry that it may have played in my mind with questions of did he suffer, was he ok, did he wonder why we weren't there etc.

Losing him was truly devastating and he's left a huge hole in our lives, but I do not regret being there with him at the end.

DeadCertain · 15/01/2019 18:08

I have always stayed with my pets; I had to have one of my dogs pts last summer which was heart breaking but I can't not stay with them - it would feel like abandoning them. On the other hand my husband said goodbye at home and didn't come with me to the vet. I don't think there's any right or wrong, it's a very individual thing.

Defender90 · 15/01/2019 18:09

We stayed with both of ours, first one was put to sleep at the vets after a short illness (and done a pee all over my legs as we waited to go in, her last act of defiance we joked)

Second we asked the vet to come to our home and he went peacefully on the fireside rug.

I don't regret either.

Defender90 · 15/01/2019 18:10

I'm so very sorry for your loss

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