Tell me everything I need to know please!

[MrsRyanGosling15]

So after a 10 year campaign my dh and ds have finally convinced me and we are getting a dog. My only 2 requirements seen that it is small and doesn't shed. Ds1/2 Are both bad with heavy shedding dogs. We aren't getting one next week but want to do plenty of research over the next few months to be as ready as possible.

I work evenings so am home all day. Dh does shifts and should be home 3 days a week so always adults at home. We have 3 smaller dc from 1 to 7 Quite a big house/garden and dog could possibly have it's own bedroom/space if needed. (Is this needed?)

My ds1 was very badly attacked by a dog many years ago as a baby and I'm just getting over my fear in recent years. I have been spending lots of time with dogs and have had my bosses dog to stay for long weekends 3 times now and have surprised myself how much I and the dc enjoyed it.

What is the actual reality like though? Does 1 person need to be in charge of it? Is it like having a new born? How do i find the breed to match us? Or will I just know when I see it? I'm in Ireland and not even sure where you buy a dog (ie a proper breeder and not gumtree) Any help or advice is much appreciated.

My dh has always had a dog. I was so traumatised after my son was attacked that it was only about 2 years ago that I was able to even pet a dog but I have really come on and have worked so hard not to pass any fears over to the dc.

silly any sites I have been on the rescue have basically said a flat no to a house with kids under 5, especially 2. Maybe I've misread?

MrsRyanGosling15

The kind of attack you describe is indeed rare.

If you have this dog from a puppy you will have chance to care for it and get to know it before it is strong or independent enough to threaten you. You will have months of being able to physically and psychologically overpower this dog - not that you SHOULD (dogs, like people, grow up better when raised in love and respect than fear and violence) but, if it reassures you, you COULD. They will be biologically programmed not to threaten you in any way while they are still young. With care, they will be socialised and trained enough not to do this when they are grown. Puppies are all kinds of hard work but you would have to be VERY unlucky (like 1-in-a-million) to get an aggressive puppy. Your breeder would take a puppy like that back in a heartbeat because there would be something wrong.

Moreover, fear often comes from not knowing. Not knowing if the dog is going to attack. A dog you live with day in, day out you will know. You will learn their mannerisms when they are sick, happy, sad, tired, frustrated. The same way you know this with your children. This takes much of the unknown out of it. There are plenty of guides online to understand the many, many ways most dogs try to avoid aggression which can help you understand them better. The ladder of aggression (google it) is one.

Are there any dogs you like and feel comfortable around?

Find a really good 1-to-1 trainer locally. Many of them do puppy packages where they come and speak to you before the dog arrives then walk you through the early training days. Use them as your guide through the puppy process. They will be your knowledgeable support and it can really help to talk fears over with someone face-to-face. Many will also allow you to watch in on a lesson, just to judge whether you want to work with them. That could be a good test of how you react to puppies. If you're comfortable saying where in the country you are, people here may have recommendations?

For me, the best thing about owning a dog is having to do that 1-2hrs of walking every day no matter what the weather. It has really put me in touch with nature & the changing of the seasons.

I thoroughly agree with this, I love my dog walks, no matter the weather, and it was me who wrote the post about the walking! But in terms of living with a dog, it is the most challenging thing I think.

ryan I completely understand, what you and your DS have gone through is beyond horrific and I don’t blame you for being scared, not one bit.

It is really rare. Honestly.
Statistically children are more likely to be injured by their own parents than severely injured by a dog.
Severe attacks are incredibly rare.

I absolutely understand why you wouldn’t feel comfortable around a big dog.
The reality is, most dogs, big or small are kind and gentle.
Attacks are really very rare indeed.

You only feel comfortable around small dogs so get a small dog.

A nice little Yorkshire terrier, toy poodle, papillon, chihuahua, Pomeranian, Bichon Frise or similar isn’t going to be able to much damage even if it wanted to (which is highly unlikely).

Treat it like a dog not a baby, you’ll be fine and you and your kids will love it I’m sure.

In the meantime, watch some YouTube videos on dog body language, pick up some dog training books - pippa Mattison is popular, as is Victoria stillwell and Gwen Bailey so you feel more comfortable with what to expect.

Crufts is in March, maybe see if you can get tickets and visit the discover dogs bit.
You can see all the weeny breeds and talk to their owners and see if any take your fancy?

MrsRyanGosling15 then stick to what you know and are comfortable with. No point getting a larger dog on the say so of us, when you would be terrified!
Perhaps ask your boss to recommend the breeder where they got their dog from, and make contact asking when they are expecting another litter? Recommendations are key when deciding on a breeder.

She rescued/saved it. A couple she knew got it for their kids but then realised they had no time for a dog and really didn't want one. They were advertising it on Facebook of all places. She ended up taking it as she was worried people would buy it for dog fighting.

In whatever amount of months that we do get a dog, you do realise I will be hunting you all down and asking you all a million questions. You think I'm bad now doggy missbattenburg I feel alot calmer now after your posts. Thanks so much.

You will absolutely be great dog parents because your asking all the right questions and thinking long term.

any sites I have been on the rescue have basically said a flat no to a house with kids under 5, especially 2

I missed the bit of your children's ages. Taking on a puppy with a toddler is a lot of work. The other thing to think about is that something smaller dogs aren't good with little people, because they feel vulnerable when being picked up and more likely to get injured because little people like to pick them up.

Before you get a dog please consider and read up on managing puppies and toddlers, the poop and toilet training, the biting ... puppy teeth are sharp. Also there are a lot of resources regarding teaching children bounderies and ensuring they leave the dog alone when the dog wants to be left alone.

Personally, I would wait until the longer evenings and coming into summer if you are set on getting a puppy.

Great advice to treat a dog like a dog. They should have their own basket in the corner in the kitchen, their own bowls, their own food, never feed from the table, don't allow them on your sofas/beds and don't let them jump up!

Have you looked at Borrowmydoggy.com? Might be a way to meet different breeds.

Gratuitous puppy picture alert!

My biggest recommendation would be training classes if you get a puppy, but you need to go for more than the initial 8 week puppy class. Mine is now 16 months and we went for a year. Approx £40 per month. Not only will it be a support network of other people going through the same thing, but also the trainer will be on hand to offer help and support for specific problems. Ours was amazing and got us through some tough times. It's also a really good way to socialise your puppy and get them to learn to interact with other dogs properly. Avoid puppy parties like the plague.

This is my third German Shepherd puppy, but my goodness she has been the hardest one. Just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel now.

Crufts is a great suggestion. Loads of dogs but all impeccably behaved so will not approach or interact with you unless invited to do so. The selection of breeds is a great way to get to know them all and introduce you to some you might not even know exist but which could be perfect for you.

Discover dogs at crufts is great. As well as meeting lots of different breeds and owners you also get lots of doggy cuddles

My Jack Russells (JRTs) were very difficult to house train, took at least 3 months! One will still wee in the sitting room a couple of times a year, for no apparent reason. Whereas my lab and working cocker were a doddle, a few days at most.

They are all working dogs so they don't have set "walk" times. My DH has just come back from pigeon shooting for the last 1.5 hours and the big two were out with him, having slept pretty much all day.

The JRTs are a bit elderly now and don't like rain/cold so I can get away with not going out with them at all some days and they don't care.

That’s okay ryan
You’ll be a great doggy mommy I’m sure!

Surprised to hear that about the puppy parties fortuna, I suppose that much like toddler groups there will be well run puppy parties and ones that are more of a manic free for all!
Your puppy 😍

The trouble with puppy parties is that they tend to put together a lot of off-lead unsocialised young dogs with little if any training and generally no manners. They can't learn anything from each other and can devolve into bullying sessions where the more timid pups get piled on by the more boisterous. Often there is insufficient supervision from the people running them and they are attended by new, inexperienced owners who don't know what to do either. Chaos and often cause more harm than good.

I have seen quite a few people say avoid puppy parties. Instead socialise reguarly with a limited number of the same dogs of all ages. Older (not old, just past the teenage stage) dogs are very tolerant of puppies, but they also tell them when enough is enough. So the puppy learns doggy manners and boundaries.

I was thinking about you OP as I walked my dog this morning, and actually, the best advice I have is, wait until your baby is a bit older. Wait for a couple of years, and I think it would be a much happier conclusion.

I keep reading that a puppy should be vaccinated and microchipped when you get him, which is normally at eight weeks old.
Our vet didn’t even start vaccinations until ten weeks, to make sure of a good immune response. He also put off microchipping until the last vaccination because our puppy was tiny and it uses a very big needle.

Not everyone vaccinates puppies before they go, mostly because there are different kinds and people then have to start again if their vet uses a different one.

The law changed a couple of years ago and puppies now have to be microchipped before leaving the breeder... no clue how that works with tiny breeds tbh, I’ve never had one.

My breeder gave me a discount because I wanted the vaccinations etc done by my own vet. We agreed it was pointless us both paying for a set of vaccinations as it wasn't realistic for me to return to her vet for the subsequent injections. She was also more than happy to take the pup back if my vet found any problems. I get all my new pups looked over by my own vet as soon as I can from bringing them home. My vet also waited until the third and final vaccination appointment at 12 weeks as he wanted her to get as big as she could be before he did it. The thinking being that they won't be out anyway so it's better to wait. She was growing at a rate of a kilo a week at that point so the difference from 8 to 12 weeks was significant.

This thread has been invaluable, a real eye opener. I'm going to sit down with pen and paper and write down all these different points to research and read up on. Thanks to everyone who has took the time to impart your wisdom! Hopefully I will come back and update with a nice puppy picture of my own soon

Puppies are such hard work. Much harder than a baby IMO because at least you can put babies in nappies. Seriously it nearly ripped while in our family life and although our dog is nearly 16 months now, we aren't out of the woods.
Bad points then good
Bad

1. The mess from accidents. I am house proud and so many things get wrecked but we did toilet training intensely and she was going outside of her own accord after two weeks but still we have some accidents.
2. Makes you feel less cultured as we had to stop going on family date out to galleries, walks in the city and around shops and exhibitions as so many places you can't take a dog. So you end up just in the park:countryside week after week. As a result we do less all together as a family.
3. Stress of a puppy makes everyone more short tempered in the home so overall stress levels are on high alert.

4 awkward having friends around as always praying she will be well behaved and not playfully jump up to them when they arrive 5 the guilt of how excited she gets to see you every single time and sad when you leave. I can't beat that and feel so bad.

Now the good.
1 my daughter is obsessed and in love with her. This makes me happy every hour.
2 she's growing on me but I'll never not wish we hadn't given in. I can't ever let my daughter know that.

1. She is mostly well behaved and trained. Not allowed on furniture or in beds but seems to sleep super well downstairs and know her boundaries.

4 she's a cavapoo and never sheds, has a fantastic nature especially around children. She is very very loving.

1. Did I mention how she makes my daughter so happy ??

6 strangers come up to us at least 10 times a day and ask to strike, borrow, comment on her loveliness which is nice. We have met lots of new people.

So that's the brutal truth. If I could do it all again I wouldn't. That's the truth but we have and so I treat her with love and respect and treat her like a dog but one that is much loved. No OTT baby behaviour.

Best advice I could give you? You get the dog you deserve so put in the training and the patience and the love and that's what you get back. Cavapoo for what it's worth are an amazing breed but we did tons of research to ensure health records and checks all in place and good, vet checked her prior to purchase, breeder cane highly recommended, we met the mum and dad and we visited twice to see set up and ensure no farming. Good luck whatever you choose but perhaps keep borrowing a dog for a bit longer till you absolutely know it's for you.

Obviously I meant stroke. Not strike

Sorry, 1 more quick question. Have had a quick look at a few other threads. Why are people having sleepless nights with puppies and having to get up every 1/2 hours? How long does this last? Is this normal/every pup?