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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

Tell me everything I need to know please!

81 replies

MrsRyanGosling15 · 14/01/2019 10:51

So after a 10 year campaign my dh and ds have finally convinced me and we are getting a dog. My only 2 requirements seen that it is small and doesn't shed. Ds1/2 Are both bad with heavy shedding dogs. We aren't getting one next week but want to do plenty of research over the next few months to be as ready as possible.

I work evenings so am home all day. Dh does shifts and should be home 3 days a week so always adults at home. We have 3 smaller dc from 1 to 7 Quite a big house/garden and dog could possibly have it's own bedroom/space if needed. (Is this needed?)

My ds1 was very badly attacked by a dog many years ago as a baby and I'm just getting over my fear in recent years. I have been spending lots of time with dogs and have had my bosses dog to stay for long weekends 3 times now and have surprised myself how much I and the dc enjoyed it.

What is the actual reality like though? Does 1 person need to be in charge of it? Is it like having a new born? How do i find the breed to match us? Or will I just know when I see it? I'm in Ireland and not even sure where you buy a dog (ie a proper breeder and not gumtree) Any help or advice is much appreciated.

My dh has always had a dog. I was so traumatised after my son was attacked that it was only about 2 years ago that I was able to even pet a dog but I have really come on and have worked so hard not to pass any fears over to the dc.

OP posts:

Original poster

MrsRyanGosling15 · 14/01/2019 15:38

Thanks everyone. Lots of things to think, the good, bad and unknown. In terms of exercise realistically it will be me in the mornings up to an hour or just over would be completely doable without changing any routine. The evening walk would be alternated between me, dh and ds. I figured with 3 of us, someone will always be able to do it if one is sick/tired/homework to be done.

When you say adolescent, what do you mean? Is it like dog teenage years? Does the behaviour differ in male and female dogs.

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Hazlenutpie · 14/01/2019 15:40

It's interesting that you specify a small dog. I'm interested to know why?

My reasons for avoiding a small dog include they tend to yap, terriers can be snappy, they tend to be more difficult to train and overall they are as much trouble as medium or large dogs.

Anyway, regardless of that I would definitely advise you to crate train your puppy. A crate makes everyone's life so much easier. It makes house training easier and confining them at night and when you go out stops chewing and accidents.

Be prepared to get up in the night to start with, as your puppy with need a wee until their bladder is bigger.

Do socialise your puppy by going to puppy classes. The training is important as well, both for your puppy and the whole family.

Just to say that personally, I am a massive fan of retrievers. My three boys grew up with a golden retriever and she was simply the most amazing dog. She hadn't got a nasty bone in her body. She was loving, lovable, playful, obedient, loyal, good with other dogs, loving to children and people.

Whatever you decide, enjoy.

Hazlenutpie · 14/01/2019 15:42

Oh, one more thing. I prefer a bitch for two reasons. Firstly, dogs love to stop and sniff everything before they cock their leg, whereas a bitch doesn't and secondly, I think bitches are more loving.

Ethel80 · 14/01/2019 15:45

One thing to bear in mind is a small dog doesn't necessarily mean easier. Don't pick a dog based on their size, temperament is far more important especially with young children.

As others have said, the first 6 months is really hard and I was sure we'd made a mistake but it's also brilliant.

Go to classes, read books, be patient and make sure your kids know how to behave around the dog. No pulling, grabbing, putting fingers in eyes/nose/ears/mouth.

Enjoy!

steppemum · 14/01/2019 15:45

Hazlenutpie- my spaniel is a dog, and he is as soppy and as loving as can be. Not sure that bitches are really

Ethel80 · 14/01/2019 15:45

@Hazlenutpie My bitch is so needy though!

Doggydoggydoggy · 14/01/2019 15:46

Yes basically.
Just like a human teenager they get a big surge of hormones and start trying out naughtiness, testing boundaries and seeing what rules still apply!

I have a female and know lots of males and females.
Compared to males I would say females are more bossy and a bit more independent, but it will be largely down to the individual dog.

Nesssie · 14/01/2019 15:46

think bitches are more loving. - You haven't met Nessdog. Hes 35kg+ and still thinks he is a lap dog. He'll sit on your lap then throw his head back onto your shoulder.

Original poster

MrsRyanGosling15 · 14/01/2019 15:47

Sorry can't remember who asked about what I would do with an aggressive dog. I have absolutely no idea. This has been my biggest fear and why I have refused for over a decade to get a dog. My son really was horrifically attacked. The dog got him from behind around his head/neck. He still has scars to this day. I really don't think he would have survived if it had of got the front of him. He was only 1yr old.

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Doggydoggydoggy · 14/01/2019 15:52

Gosh, that sounds horrific!
What breed was it and under what circumstances?

Dog attacks, particularly of the severity you describe are pretty rare.
You are more likely to be hit by a car or attacked by your own parents than severely attacked by a dog.

Usually, it is down to ill health (severe pain from cancer, brain tumours etc) or fear of the person from bad socialisation/bad experiences

Original poster

MrsRyanGosling15 · 14/01/2019 15:56

hazlenutpie why do I want a small dog? This may seem really stupid, but when my son was attached he was only small. When the dog was upright it was bigger than him, he didnt stand a chance. I just think I would feel better if my dc were bigger than the dog, if that makes any sense. I have come along way with dogs but even something the size of a Labrador would be far too big for me. I couldn't actually sit in a room with a dog that size.

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steppemum · 14/01/2019 15:59

I have close friends who had the most amazing, lovely gentle black labrador. He sadly died and they got a new puppy.

The new puppy is also the most amazing gentle laid back character, really a lovely lovely dog.

I asked them was it training or nature and how did they know? They bought the lab from a family. This family had a bitch who was lovely natured and decided to have one litter with her. I can't remember how they contacted her, but they met the mother dog before she was even pregnant (so may have been friend of a friend). They met the puppy several times between birth and taking her home. That research and the personality of the parents really paid off.

I would also say, that while I wouldn't suggest a labrador, as they are good sized dogs, they do have a reputation as a breed of being trainable. I know my friends worked hard right from the beginning to train her well, but honestly she (and her predecessor) are SO well trained, it makes them a joy to walk and a joy to be around.
Our dog, while veyr clever, and eager to please, is a springer spaniel and their breed has a high prey drive, which means if it is a choice between obeying me, or chasing the bird, the bird wins every time.

Doggydoggydoggy · 14/01/2019 16:01

What sort of dog was it that went for your little boy?
Although it is incredibly rare, very highly prey driven dogs can sometimes to react to babies.

Dog attacks really are very very rare though.

Generally, bigger breeds are often, but not always, calmer/more placid

Original poster

MrsRyanGosling15 · 14/01/2019 16:02

doggy long story but it was my mil dog. She never looked after it like a dog (in my limited dog opinion) it hated anyone coming into the house. We only went twice a year. I was in a seperate room with my son and just heard a strange noise. Next thing the dog is running for him and got him as he was putting something in the bin. It was a Springer spaniel. I can't remember why but it was on steroids for something at the time too. No idea if that's relevant. I don't even really blame the dog, I blame my mil and her lack of doing any training with the dog at all. Hence why I'm trying to find out everything I can before I go into this.

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Doggydoggydoggy · 14/01/2019 16:06

That must have been terrifying, I’m so sorry and glad your son is okay.

As I said earlier, when dogs ‘go’ it is usually down to fear and/or ill health and it does sound like that was the case for your MILs dog.

Do be assured that dog attacks, particularly severe ones like the one you describe are very rare indeed.

Hazlenutpie · 14/01/2019 16:09

So sorry to read about your son being attacked, awful, awful, awful.

I knew as soon as I'd typed it that male dogs would be loving, soppy, gorgeous etc., lol. I can only go off my own experience, which is that bitches in my life have been more loyal and willing to please. Perhaps that's a better way of putting it.

OP you might want to consider that small dogs, especially of the terrier variety, are more snappy.

MillicentSnitch · 14/01/2019 16:12

For me, the best thing about owning a dog is having to do that 1-2hrs of walking every day no matter what the weather. It has really put me in touch with nature & the changing of the seasons. And also I'm pretty healthy as a consequence. I think the toughest part is getting everyone in the family to be absolutely consistent in training so that you get the behaviour you want.

Ethel80 · 14/01/2019 16:17

I find small dogs snappier if I'm honest and out of the dogs my friends and family have, it tends to be the little ones that are more aggressive.

OP, do you think you'll be able to cope with the inevitable bitey stage that puppies have?

Doggydoggydoggy · 14/01/2019 16:20

I think that you have to factor in people behaviour here in considering how snappy little dogs are.

People tend to baby little dogs.
Carry them around, fawn over them, dress them up, laugh at behaviours that if exhibited by an Akita or German Shepherd would have people really concerned...

Socialise and train it and treat it like a dog and I imagine you probably wont have any problems.

Original poster

MrsRyanGosling15 · 14/01/2019 16:23

Oh god, my dh and ds will go mad at me. I'm.now completely reconsidering my thoughts on this. We purposely don't talk about my ds dog attack because it genuinely took me years to get over it. Everytime I closed my eyes I would see the blood on the walls and the look on his wee face. Just writing about it here though is making me feel slightly sick. It's really rare isn't it? And the chances of something like that happening twice would have to be completely off the scale wouldn't it? What do you do if you have a dog from a pup and it starts showing signs of aggression? What are the signs? I feel a bit unqualified for all this. How can I raise 4dc and yet panic so much at the thoughts of looking after a dog!

OP posts:

Original poster

MrsRyanGosling15 · 14/01/2019 16:27

People tend to baby little dogs.
Carry them around, fawn over them, dress them up, laugh at behaviours that if exhibited by an Akita or German Shepherd would have people really concerned...

This is my mil with a dog. I used to say if she could have put a nappy on it and breastfed it she would have done. If the dog wanted some of her dinner, she would stop eating it and give the dog the plate!
ethel I'm really not sure, I didn't know about it until this thread. I am so glad I started this as I just knew there would be far more into it than I thought. You have all been beyond helpful!

OP posts:

Nesssie · 14/01/2019 16:32

Not all small dogs are snappy. Cavapoo's (which you mentioned early) are known for being gentle. Get one from a puppy that will grow up around children. Teach your children to respect the dog's space.

Although I'm a big dog owner myself, small dogs do have advantages, mostly they take up less space, are easier to contain (baby gates, shut doors etc) and won't knock the children over. All dogs jump up occasionally, no matter the training, and a small dog jumping up isn't going to hurt as much as a big dog.
Big dogs will be able to reach things on tables, small dogs won't. And with children can you rely on them making sure everything is out out of reach?

sillysmiles · 14/01/2019 16:35

Adopt! Don't buy.

If you have no experience with a dog I'd recommend adopting an older dog - 2yrs + so that you have an idea of the temperament and personalities before you get it.

Be prepared that "non-shedding" dogs require very regular grooming (appox every 6 weeks). Be prepared for the extra cost. If they aren't groomed properly, their fair can become matted very close to the skin - where you can't really see it, but it is very painful for the dog.

Nesssie · 14/01/2019 16:36

Adopt! Don't buy. - very unlikely with a 1 year old child. I work in animal rescue and I probably wouldn't adopt to the op.

Original poster

MrsRyanGosling15 · 14/01/2019 16:36

nessie i can sit a cuddly by bosses cavapoo and genuinely enjoy it. I'm not always on edge when she is around. I don't look at it and think it wants to kill me like I do with any dog higher than my knee

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