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The doghouse

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Original poster

1 year old hurt our dog - help

30 replies

DinoSawrRAARR · 27/07/2018 12:34

I’be posted in the dog section as the last thing I need is a bunch of people telling me I’m a bad mum!

I’ll try to keep it short, I have a 18 month old son and a 2.5 year old sheepdog.
Dog is fantastic with son, just wants to play and is very patient. They are NEVER left alone or unsupervised.
Also we’re all living in a small house due to our house having some work done and us having to move out short term.

My son has started to pull dogs fur, ears and tail and I feel he does it for attention.
I’ve tried:
giving him into trouble (saying NO! Sharply and then saying “we don’t hurt”)
taking son away from dog and then giving the dog lots of attention
taking the dog away from son (although I feel like this is punishing the dog as she then has to sit behind the baby gate in the kitchen)

Nothing seems to work and I’m just really looking for advice.

Today dog walked up to my son and lay down and son hurt her really bad. She handled it very well but I’m very conscious that I do not ever want her to feel scared or she needs to bite etc so I just need some advice really - sorry for the long post

OP posts:
Original poster
DinoSawrRAARR · 27/07/2018 12:36

Also just to say that I am aware son is only 18 months but he’s very clever and I think he is in a place where he should start to learn about not hurting.

OP posts:
SprogletsMum · 27/07/2018 12:37

I'm not a dog expert but you need to keep your son away from the dog at all times.

adaline · 27/07/2018 12:37

Keep them apart until your son is capable of understanding no.

Anything else is massively unfair on the dog - please don't keep putting her in situations where she's getting hurt or frightened by your child.

Racecardriver · 27/07/2018 12:44

18 months is top young to understand that the dog has feelings. Just keep them apart.

GinaCarbonara · 27/07/2018 12:48

You need to keep them completely, completely separate. Your son is too young to understand the possible repercussions and your poor dog, patient as she may be now, will have something pulled one time too many and will be capable of doing a lot of damage to him.

Keep them apart, for both of their sakes.

Original poster
DinoSawrRAARR · 27/07/2018 12:48

Thanks for your replies and I think you are right about keeping them apart. I just don’t want dog to feel like she is being punished and my only option where I am for the next few weeks is to put dog in kitchen with baby gate which feels a bit mean but I also understand that it’s better than her being scared/ hurt.

OP posts:
rizlett · 27/07/2018 12:55

You're assuming that your dog is feeling punished by being behind the baby gate when actually she might feel that the 'being punished' area is in the same room as your DS.

Perhaps buy a big cuddly dog to play with your son with that you can use to show him how we stroke the dog and if he is too hard with it then you can immediately take it away. Keep playing the 'gently' game with the toy until that replaces his previous behaviour of being rough with the dog.

rizlett · 27/07/2018 12:55

a big cuddly toy dog... not a real one!

GinaCarbonara · 27/07/2018 12:57

You could get some new dog toys for her? And kongs with treats inside, so whenever you put her in there you make a big fuss of her and give her something positive.

Original poster
DinoSawrRAARR · 27/07/2018 12:57

That’s a really good idea, thanks @rizlett !

OP posts:
OrgyOfBarminess · 27/07/2018 12:58

I have a sheep dog too as well as a spaniel. They have there own room which is separated with a baby gate and the door is never shut. They can see into the kitchen and living room and are kept separate at meal times or whenever myself or DH leave the room.

My sheepdog will growl at my son as a warning if he gets to near if she's indoors but plays amazingly outside or when out on walks. This has always been the case and DS is now 4. My spaniel was a rescue and my son can cuddle her etc but I would never leave them unsupervised regardless.

It is only for a short period of time what you are explaining to him is correct but for his own safety I would definitely recommend what others have with keeping them apart until the phase passes. I still have to remind my DS to be gentle when he cuddles our spaniel and he thinks I'm being mean and we're going through that stage where he thinks everyone's dog is friendly but I'd be mortified if anything happened.

Original poster
DinoSawrRAARR · 27/07/2018 12:58

Kong is a good idea. She loved that when she was a puppy - thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
DinoSawrRAARR · 27/07/2018 13:03

Once we’re back in our own home we have a massive garden and loads of space so dog can have some peace and quiet.
I think I was more worried that dog would start to resent son but you might be right as she’s happily lying in the kitchen having a snooze! I’ll get her some more toys today and work on No with my son and a TOY dog :-)

OP posts:
Fenwickdream · 27/07/2018 13:06

Either I had the most advanced baby ever or an 18 month old is absolutely able to understand no hitting and all of your basic rules.
At that age I could get down and explain “do not touch the oven etc” with no problems.

Maybe you are dribbling the information needed.

Example— I have a friend that would spend all day saying “don’t touch the oven it will burn you” shifts son out the way, son goes back. Repeat.

All of the don’t do this don’t do that build up until it’s just like background noise to the child.

Sit him down when it’s quiet, before he has actually done itand tell him really firmly not to hit or hurt the dog and tell him that you will be really cross if he does. Tell him what the consequence is.

Then if he hurts the dog follow through and act REALLY CROSS, dole out your punishment and then a lecture when it’s all calmed down.

They understand so much more than people think.

itshappened · 27/07/2018 13:29

I have the same problem with my 14 month old and our cat. The cat seems to refuse to move very far away and my toddler thinks it's a game to cuddle, stroke, pinch and pull at my cat. This morning she pulled him across the floor by the tail! So far he has been very patient with her and seems determined to sit by her. However he did scratch once as he thought it was a game (something he plays with my husband). I just struggle to keep them apart and my daughter finds it hilarious and won't stop. Even after receiving a scratch she threw herself on top of the cat immediately afterwards for a cuddle and was giggling happily. Confused

Floralnomad · 27/07/2018 15:02

I don’t think the dog will mind being a bit isolated during the day as she can have lots of time with you in the evening when your son is in bed . I think 18 months is a bit little for him to understand and remember that you need to be kind to the dog , he will get it in the next few months .

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 27/07/2018 19:38

Love rizlett's idea. Also, positive reinforcement! (Apparently clicker training works for kids as well as dogs)

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 27/07/2018 19:41

PS I've posted in the dog section as the last thing I need is a bunch of people telling me I'm a bad mum!

Yeah, over here you'll just get people telling you you're a bad dog owner Grin

Meepmoop · 27/07/2018 19:46

My dog is always behind the baby gate as he's nervous around my 1 year old. I always make sure I give him extra attention when I go to the kitchen and he comes in at nap and bedtimes. I also let him in to eat the food DS throws on the floor.

My problem is the dog keeps trying to play with DS through the gate. He brings his tug rope and holds it in DS reach. I've had to keep shutting the door as he would probably yank his arm off

Stinkerbelldust · 27/07/2018 19:49

You need to be more persistent than your toddler. It depends on the temperament of your toddler too. Some are taking a blue streak at 18m with great comprehension and some barely have any expressive and little comprehensive language. Every time the toddler approaches the dog is descend with treats kept on the side and and say "oh you want to okay with x! Let's touch with gentle hands and feed her a treat. Show him how to lay his hand flat etc." He needs to get into a good pattern of interacting with the dog. I would only allow them together when you can focus on them 100% otherwise it perfectly fine to separate the dog out. For all our kids the dogs bed is his safe place. If a baby/toddler approaches I just state very calmly that doggy is sleeping and we don't go in his bed. Then I move the baby/toddler and distract them. By the time their 2.5 it's fairly sorted.

wintersdawn · 27/07/2018 20:37

18 months is not to young to understand the word no. Both of mine have grown up with a dog and from the moment they could move all interaction with the dog was me showing the correct way to do it. DS immediately got it and has never been anything other than gentle with dog. DD tried using dog to pull herself up a couple of times but strong and firm no's plus reinforcing the correct way to treat dog worked. Both of mine have understood from an early age the correct way all animals should be treated no matter how big/ small, old/young they are. If he was hurting you at 18 months you'd certainly tell him off and expect him to understand.

Baubletrouble43 · 27/07/2018 21:00

I have 19 mo twins and I keep them away from my dog pretty much and will do until they are old enough to handle him properly.

Original poster
DinoSawrRAARR · 28/07/2018 00:19

Hi,

Sorry it’s taken so long to reply. I’ve implemented new rules as of today so dog is in kitchen area behind gate while son is plodding around but can still see us and I still interact with her. I think it will take some getting used to for all but as pp have said, it’s in best interests of dog and child.
Dog got a nice mummy-doggy walk tonight and extra pets and cuddles while son was in bed.
We’ll take on some other ideas like the toy dog over the weekend and see how we get on - thanks all

OP posts:
Original poster
DinoSawrRAARR · 28/07/2018 00:21

Also - in reference to someone saying I’ll be called a bad dog owner - I think anyone who reads my post would understand how much I care about my dog. So thanks to everyone for your helpful and supportive replies. :-)

OP posts:
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 28/07/2018 08:33

Dino it was a joky reference to the fact that people on the doghouse forum can be a bit hard line.

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