Mumsnet, fulll of dog haters?

[thecatsabsentcojones]

Yet another post on AIBU featuring dogs. Most replies are on the 'dogs are dangerous, dogs are badly trained, owners are idiots, children should be frightened of dogs' theme.
Am I one of the few on this website who think that dogs can be incredibly good for children? It's so hysterical. Do most people think like that? They don't round here but it's rural. I detest that mindset towards dogs, it's so needless - yes there are badly trained horrible dogs out there but teach your kids dog language, get them to ask an owner before petting a dog etc, don't get them absolutely terrified - they'll miss out.
If only these people saw the bedtime routine here, with the kids choosing which Labrador goes on which bed to provide sleep time comfort, they'd do their nut!

Unfortunately there ARE a lot of idiot dog owners. Lots of children are terrified of dogs. DS was when he was little. When you think about it some dogs are as big if not bigger than the child. DS was terrified by an out of control dog that was bigger than him. Owner was nowhere to be seen. I was bloody terrified of the dog! Dogs can be unpredictable and dangerous.

We now have two soft labs ourselves and DS lies on the floor cuddled up to them.

I imagine the range of opinions about dogs on MN is like in real life. Some love them, some hate them, some are indifferent. But threads about dogs are bound to be polarised - indifferent people don't tend to bother commenting.

I love dogs and have a big one myself, but that doesn't mean I don't understand that they can be dangerous and that many dog owners are irresponsible. Yes, looking after an animal is great for kids, but there's no denying that a dog is a riskier pet than a hamster. Some people hate dogs and are scared of them - why would you expect those people to think their kids are 'missing out'? Liking dogs and encouraging your children to approach them (however sensibly) aren't compulsory! My very lovely, good-natured dog collided with my son on Christmas Eve and broke my son's leg.

People are hysterical sometimes I agree. I have a lab and 3 kids, she's soft as anything. I've spent a lot of time training her not to jump at anyone however I have also spent a lot of time training my kids not to run towards or stroke a dog without checking with the owner fist. It's incredibly difficult trying to train a dog not to jump up when random strangers just decide to stroke or make a fuss of a dog without asking first, my dog won't ever jump up at anyone unless they make a fuss of her first. By jumping up I mean returning a friendly hello and having a fuss made, nothing more.
I was at the beach the other day when my dog went near a family sitting on the beach with their toddler. She didn't do anything other than sniff around near them but the dad got up and smacked her to push her away! I asked him what he was doing and he said he didn't want my dog near his child! I was so angry but I don't suppose you can win that argument with someone so hysterical. The dog was literally nowhere near said child, simply sniffing around a metre away from them.

Ds was afraid of dogs, not because of any bad experience, but he was afraid anyway. I never thought that all dogs were bad or all owners were useless. We have a dog of our own now and ds is one of his biggest fans and although still not a fan of unknown dogs he isn't afraid anymore.

I’m indifferent about dogs, so don’t post. But I’d also be angry if your dog was off the lead on a beach near where families were sitting. Not because I’d be scared, but because it might do a shit, or lick someone that doesn’t want to be licked. I think it’s incredibly rude to let your dog off the lead close to where people are sitting.

I love dogs, but I’m realistic. I know that even the softest dog can snap when it feels threatened or is in pain. I personally know of two very small children who’ve been badly bitten by dogs that had never shown any signs of aggression whatsoever, because small children don’t understand how to deal with dogs, and not to step on or poke sensitive areas. I see videos online of babies and toddlers crawling all over dogs, engaging in behaviour dogs would find threatening and it scares the crap out of me.

I think it's less dog hating than irresponsible dog owner hating. People want to be able to walk without traipsing through dog shit. Or having some idiot yelling "it's ok my dog is friendly" as their dog leaps up at terrified toddlers or chases runners.
And yes. I have a dog.

Are you referring to the thread where the mother is asking for help for her DCs who are scared?

I don’t see any hysteria there, or any hatred at all, just people who have had a range of experiences with dogs, good and bad.

The one thing that consistently pisses people off though is the attitude of some owners who either say: “don’t worry, he’s just being friendly” to someone who is terrified as a dog runs or jumps up at them, or the people who make no effort to control their dogs and then blames the child/ runner /random person for being there.

Starting a thread like this echos those attitudes.

There are a few haters on that thread though. Taught kids to be frightened and talking about kicking dogs.

As a child I had a phobia of dogs but I've learned to love them. I've sometimes thought of starting a blog /website on how to beat your phobia of dogs. My theory is that learning about dogs will help to overcome people's fear of them.

At the same time if people were very responsible dog owners it would help to improve other people's opinion of them. No one wants to step in dog poo or have a strange dog jump up at their toddler.

MN hates badly trained dogs. (Or undiciplined owners) I think sensibly so. Good dogs shouldn't make any difference to strangers, so there's nothing to object to.
Teaching children to be dog aware and careful around unknown dogs is a good thing.

Not wanting a dog to sniff around you if you dislike or are afraid of dogs is not 'hysterical'. As I said, I love dogs, but it never ceases to amaze me how blinkered and biased some dog owners can be about others not liking dogs.

I wouldn't dream of allowing my large dog to sniff around people who were sitting on the ground - he'd be at face level and very intimidating to small children or adults who dislike dogs. It doesn't matter how soft or gentle I think he is. I don't see why that's apparently so hard for many dog owners to get their heads around.

The one thing that consistently pisses people off though is the attitude of some owners who either say: “don’t worry, he’s just being friendly” to someone who is terrified as a dog runs or jumps up at them, or the people who make no effort to control their dogs and then blames the child/ runner /random person for being there.

This

DD was a fan of dogs until a twatty brown lab owner allowed her dog to jump at her. She was 2.5. The dog was twice her size. She screamed, properly screamed in absolute terror for the first time in her life.

She's now 4.5 an remembers the incident clearly, though I have never mentioned it again.

The responsible dog owners I come across put their dog on a lead when they see she is frightened. The dogs are well trained, recall on demand and I'm constantly saying "ooooh DD, isn't that a nice doggie?"

whilst shitting myself that they will jump up on her and undo 2 years of good work

And I am a dog lover. Which is one of the reasons we don't have one - we are all out of the house 8am - 6pm and we can't afford nursery and doggie day care.

Cross post with Eolian

Exactly - no matter what YOU think of your dog, it's the impact on others that matters.

No amount of tinkly laugh - he won't touch you - works if you're already terrified.

I had a miniature poodle growing up and would never have let her sniff around anyone who looked like they didn't want her to.

Agent dogs are allowed on the beach certain times of the year off lead. I could also say to you don't go on the beach at those times if you hate them so much. My dog didn't lick anyone, merely wandered near to them then would have wandered off again. If they did a shit i would have picked it up. No law against it I'm afraid, something you have to live with.

@ellapaella, I know they are. I live near a beach and often walk my dad’s dog on it. But I would only let it off the lead far away from where families were sitting, and I wouldn’t let it get close to them off the lead. It’s that sort of thing that gets dog owners a bad name. And even if you’d picked up its shit, no one really wants to watch a dog shitting in such close proximity.

I'm a dog lover and whilst I agree there are idiot dog owners, there are also idiot parents. I have a Rottweiler and German shepherd and a Westie.
I've been walking my dogs on the lead, had hysterical screeching from a parent ( who are far more upset than the child on most occasions) to get my dogs away from their child as they are afraid. Sometimes parents feed that fear.
Also had parents stand there while a child grabs his fluffy tail.
I did have one dad come up with their scared child who asked if they could ask questions about the dogs. He was holding his little boy, and asking their names and what they liked to do. Then his child asked a few questions and got his dad to pet them. He didn't want to pet them just yet, but he calmed down and I think hearing about their personalities made him relate to them.
I also like when children come up and politely ask if they are allowed to pet them or say hello.

Ellapaella - there are lots of things that are not illegal but are nonetheless rude or inconsiderate. If someone let their toddler splash water or kick sand all over my picnic or sat right next to me on the beach with their cigarette smoke blowing straight in my face as I ate, that wouldn't be illegal either. It would make them an arsehole though. I let my dog off the lead on the beach only in big unoccupied spaces, where I play with him with a ball to keep him busy and away from other people. When I go back to where my stuff is, in the areas where families are sitting, he goes back on the lead. People shouldn't have to avoid a beach because others can't keep their dogs under close control.

When I started this I was referring to certain posters who believe that literally every dog has the capacity to rip someone's head clean off. It's not the case. Ok, there are reasonable posters on there and I do get the keeping your dog under control around small kids who will be scared, but I don't get the hysterical attitude.

As for the hamster comment, now they are vicious bastards. I've had dogs all of my life and they've never drawn blood. My hamster though? FFS, my hand was in shreds when I was a kid! It's one pet that the kids have been told they can't have ever....

My main point is we live in a world that's rapidly becoming very anti dog, and it's based on the actions of a minority of very shit owners.

My main point is we live in a world that's rapidly becoming very anti dog, and it's based on the actions of a minority of very shit owners

I could not agree more.

Every time someone fails to pick the shit up, fails to recall a dog who is being a pest, fails to understand that others may not love their dog as much as they do, fails to keep their dog away from troubling livestock, they make life that much harder for those of us who are good dog owners.

They make it easier for the anti-dog people to get dogs banned from places.

They make it harder to enjoy life with a dog.

“it's based on the actions of a minority of very shit owners“

IMO the issue is that it’s increasingly not a minority of owners, I don’t know why but there seems to be more and more dog owners all the time who just don’t control their dogs in public places.

I live somewhere rural with lots of space, so maybe I'd feel differently with just a park to wander around and I'd see more bad behaviour, but at present I don't. The nearest beach out of season is dog central, and the worst bit of behaviour I've seen there is a miniature daschund scaring the life out of my dog who's three times it's size. All dogs are off the lead and usually getting on. Some of the Mumsnet posters want to see all dogs on lead in a public place, I think that's ridiculous, dogs if they aren't being pests need exercise - and they generally don't get enough whilst on lead.

As I said, I might feel differently if I lived somewhere urban. The trend for attack dogs would scare the hell out of me if I lived near any, but I don't.

I own a puppy, he's a ball of energy and brilliant at playing with my DS to tire him out, however I am not a dog lover - I love my dog and that's it, I'm not a fan of MIL or BIL dogs as they are slobbery dogs but i would never put that attitude onto my child, who adores those dogs. When we go out for walks and see other dogs and always point it out to my DS saying 'look there's another doggy' or something and he always wants to pet them and i ask the owners if its ok as i understand some dogs may not like strangers touching them. And if i see someone looking as if they don't want my guy near them then I don't let him near them, i have a people person dog and he's slowing understanding now that not everyone he walks past wants to pet him! My pup is a Rottweiler cross and we got a lot of stick from my family (not dog people) on how awful those type of dogs are - then they met him and changed their minds, still not dog people but understand you can't tar all dogs of the same breed with one brush. I see it as raising a child - I'm raising my son to be a kind adult and I'm raising my pup to be a kind dog. I agree there are people out there who can't be arsed to clean up after their dogs or let them run wild but it's not every person and its not every dog.

I live in a rural area too. There is lots of space for dogs to run around. But I am always mindful of the fact that there are quite a few people do not like dogs and do not like to be approached by them. That is perfectly reasonable. 'Dogs are allowed off-lead in this area' should not mean 'Anyone who doesn't want to be sniffed/licked/jumped-up-at by a dog should stop being hysterical and piss off and find somewhere else to walk'.

It's not even just about poorly-behaved dogs or the fear of an aggressive dog. I'm scared of spiders. If someone approached me with their pet tarantula, I wouldn't expect to be labelled hysterical if I yelled at them to take it away. Just because we think dogs are lovely, that doesn't mean everyone has to agree.

I’ve always had dogs but I wouldn’t say ‘they’re good for children’. My DC grew up with various dogs and helped look after them but I can’t say it influenced their behaviour for better or worse.

The owners that give dogs a bad press are those that impose their pets on other people’s homes or let them jump up on people. Nobody wants their clothes covered in dog hair or mucky paw prints.