To sleep WITH a new pup???

[Tinkobell]

So. After sad passing of our beloved westie in Jan, we are gearing up for the new arrival of a Cockapoo female end April. Got ma books, to refresh on approach. Shock! First few pages......SLEEP with the new pup next to you in the bedroom?! Really????
I've had 2 well adjusted happy joyful dogs from pup, never did this. Why? What am I supposed to actually do at 2am when it cries....pat the crate reassuringly? I'm sorry, I just don't get this. My own sleep isn't great anyway .....we've all got,to,get up and function the next day.....unlike the pup which can crash out at anytime! Views appreciated please!

So we've more in common that first seemed. I can't speak for you, but I know my family do not treat any of their dogs as just tools or throw them in a barn. What a bizarre thing to say!

Working dogs are tools. It’s why they’re bought and bred and kept. They have a high value and do a priceless job. Plenty of them live very happily in a barn. They’re not pets. They’re not feeling sorry for themselves because the cat gets the sofa and cuddles in bed. They’re bred to be hardy and live out doors. Cockerpoos, they are not.

Mine sleeps in his crate next to the bed. He seems only to cry to toilet (he does his business immediately in the garden and is posted back in the crate without a whinge). He is 16 weeks and now sleeps 10:30pm - 6am but at 8 weeks he was up once or twice per night to wee or poo.

I don't think farmers would be insulted to hear their working dogs described as such. They train them, keep them healthy and cae for them but they are there to do a job. Most farmers I know have working dogs that sleep outside in kennels / barns and a pet dog or two treated like pampered pooches inside the house.
I used to work in a riding stables and the same differentiation was true. The horses were treated well, fed, groomed and seen by vets as necessary but they weren't pets they were working animals and treated as such. I had a pet pony also who was cosseted and cared for and given treats and who was a loved companion - the difference was clear. Nothing wrong with treating a working animal as such and no insult to those who work their animals. Police dogs tend to have outside kennels and I doubt their handlers feed them buttery toast crusts in the morning because they look all doe eyed at them!

If you prefer to have your dog sleep downstairs do that. If you prefer to have them in the bedroom and hopefully avoid the crying then do that. No need for them to sleep in the bed or be allowed an upstairs free pass. Our pup is only allowed upstairs at bedtime in his crate. He knows that and isn't a bother at all at night.

You ask about 'double weaning', i.e. taking the pup away from it's mother and then having to teach it cope without sleeping next to you. Again, latest research shows that as the pup matures it develops it's confidence and makes this transition quite painlessly.

There's these cute heart beat cuddle toys called AFP which look interesting on Amazon .......something for the wee small hours perhaps....for ME....not the pup, cos she'll have me holding her paw all night! 😃 Lol.

@TheDogHasEatenIt.....what's the research, do you know by chance? I'm just a bit cynical you know, cos a few years back, a lady called Gina Ford advocated basically letting kids cry themselves to sleep. Mums that did it were labelled as hard nosed bitches and those that didn't were wet blankets. I just worry that there's people out there writing books, turning lives upside down...and for what? If it's research based, yes, it's good to sit up and listen. Next year are we likely to go full circle on this???

wake Brilliant choice - I have 2 goldens and they are the best breed I have ever had!
The first pup I kept downstairs in kitchen - what a mistake! I didn't get any sleep! Second time round I let her sleep wherever she chose, usually upstairs landing and it was a lot easier! She was sleeping though from about 3 days in. I was never into crates, so went for a large play pen to avoid accidents when she was young, but didn't need that after a couple of weeks.

IMO a dogs world is already quite small, usually inside the house for the majority of the time, so why would you make it even smaller by not even letting them upstairs? You can still have boundaries.

Our experience with a lab Puppy last year. He had been sleeping in crate with mum and siblings but with door open.

We Set up crate as a bed. Made sure it was quite a small crate as otherwise you loose the whole 'not soiling their den' concept.

Night one: spent ages settling Puppy in crate, he fell asleep. Crate Included heat pad and we left radio 4 on. We slept upstairs. We planned to get up as soon as we heard a sound.

We woke at 6am- no sound. Rushed downstairs to happy Puppy but wet crate.

Night 2: as with night 1 but we got up at 1am and 4am and took him out for a wee. No lights, gentle affection and treat for doing wee. No toilet accidents.

Night 3: as night 2 but moved wake ups by 20 minutes.

This carried on until within 2.5 weeks he was sleeping 11-6. We had very very few accidents.

Appreciate we were extremely lucky. Our dog is well adjusted, fine to be left alone for sensible periods of time. Loves his crate and reliably takes himself to bed at 10pm.

First time owner here. Shitzu pup left in his basket (not in a crate) from when we bought him home at 8 weeks with his mummys blanket, shut in the kitchen. Wee on pad first couple of nights and after that fine. Like you we were up at 6 30. We also left him a couple of hours the next day in the kitchen. Might be wrong but start as you mean to go on, it's not a helpless new born baby.

I'll see if i can get some links to the research later (going out now), but to some extent all scientific research is constantly evolving. Nothing can be 'scientifically proven'. Science doesn't 'prove' anything. Science poses hypotheses and tests those hypotheses and in some cases it supports them and in some cases it doesn't. In science ALL theories are considered imperfect works in progress that are open to new data. So it's not surprising that some child rearing methods are considered better than others (i.e. those with the research and data to support them). I don't know what scientific research supported Gina Ford's book.
You could also trot out that traditionally children were caned in school, but i'm quite glad we've moved past that!

Oh and Cath trust me police dogs get buttery toast with the crusts cut off and I -occasionally- always let him inside

We have a 9 month old, my first puppy experience.

No way is he allowed upstairs or anywhere near my bed!

But he was crated in kitchen, all doors open, we heard him when he cried in the night and would go to him for outside for wee/poo or just comfort. Worked ok, early starts for a few months, now fine (3 young kids so up too early anyway!)

Our Goldie isn’t and has never been allowed upstairs ( although I suspect DD takes him into her bedroom if we are all out)
He slept in a crate for the first few weeks ( me on the sofa next to him for the first week) and since then has been no trouble at night at all.
We recently went away for the weekend and he slept on the landing of the Holiday cottage outside the dc room but it’s not something I want him to do here
About 10 at night he goes off into his room and goes to bed on his beanbag anyway so it’s just a case of shutting the door when DH comes up to bed

Imagine farmers wouldn't have just a solo pup, it would have the company of other dogs around which would help it feel safer & lower anxiety. A puppy would be vulnerable alone so think its natural to seek safety with dog/human family. Being distressed releases hormones which can as on have effect on development & of course confidence. I expect methods have moved on due to scientific research, much like other aspects of dog training.

I was quite adamant with an older rescue dog that it would stay downstairs, had about 2 months of disturbed sleep (was fine being left in day) before I just thought sod it & tried bedroom. Dog just settled down on his bed and it was actually easier to hear him stir & take him out, than barking from downstairs to get message across or have to clean up a mess if not, (imagine pups are probably also more prone to dire rear)
He moved to sleep back downstairs after a while but I think actually made rod for our own back letting him get stressed early on by feeling we would be doing wrong giving in.

With a small puppy its easy just to set crate up in a bedroom and once settled & see's that as its safe place can start to move crate further away till downstairs & makes it a lot easier to take out to aid housetraining so why many do opt for that method.

Just watched a whatsapp vid update on pup.....very very cute indeed. In fact off the cuteness scale completely. I think the real problem could well be me stopping myself kissing the puppy all night to go and get a few hours sleep. That will be the problem. Forget this thread. New one needed "AIBU to kick DH out of bedroom as puppy is too cute for words" 😀

The first few nights with my pup were filled with broken sleep due to howling and crying coming from the cage in the other room.
Someone reminded me that the stark change of surroundings coupled with the sudden loss of litter mates was ALOT for a small pup that had only arrived on planet earth a matter of weeks before to deal with.
Pangs of guilt coupled with a desperate yearning for sleep had me dragging the cage into the bedroom by the side of my bed resulting in a full night of uninterrupted sleep and a young pup looking content, relaxed and happy for the first time since I got it home.
I'd recommend it to anyone with a new pup.
So much less traumatic for all concerned.

tink A working dog is different to a pet. The expectations are totally different and the working dogs get most of their fulfillment and exercise from being out. Not the same for a pet.

Of course you don’t have to sleep next to it, but I can’t imagine getting a puppy and not fully expecting to be up at least twice a night til it’s fully toilet trained.

I personally wouldn’t use pee pads because I think they make toilet training twice as hard but of course some people prefer it.