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The doghouse

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Original poster

Single and work full time - how to manage the puppy stage?

114 replies

wannabedogmama · 18/03/2018 22:46

Hi all

I've been desperate for a dog for years and finally in as good a position as I think I'm ever going to be to get one

I am looking at small low exercise breeds, I will be able to walk them in the morning and evening and have budgeted for a daily dog walker or doggy day care during the day once they are 6 months old.

My problem now is the puppy months, how do people manage this if they work full time? I can book the first couple of weeks off and also come home at lunch time but at what age can puppies be left for 4 or so hours at a time? The dog walker I have looked into also offers 30 minute puppy visits so would that work?

I'm looking at Shih Tzus, King Charles' & Pugs - does anyone think any of those would be more or less suitable for me than the others?

Before everyone says I shouldn't be getting a puppy, i've looked into rescues for older dogs but all of the local ones have policies against homing to people working full time. I have a lot of time to give it evenings and weekends.

OP posts:
crazycatgal · 18/03/2018 23:53

What are you going to do if your dog develops separation anxiety? My PILs dog would be anxious and worked up if she was left for even 20 minutes.

I know someone who works full time and has just bought a puppy. They just have someone come in during the day to check on it, that's selfish in my opinion.

guest477337 · 18/03/2018 23:53

I'd advise a cat. Don't get a puppy, it's so cruel how can you not see that?

Pasithea · 18/03/2018 23:56

You don’t.

NoSquirrels · 19/03/2018 00:01

I know it’s absolutely not what you want to hear but everyone is right - you shouldn’t get a puppy.

If you had said an older dog used to being alone, that’s one thing - but a puppy will become anxious, will be poorly socialised, will chew your house up or pee all over it ... it’s just not fair.

8-5 with a pee break in the middle is no good, really it isn’t. Our 2 year old rescue is fine with being alone but oh my word, the guilt about leaving her over 4 hours is terrible. And it takes so much planning. Will you never go out in the evening again? Because you’d have to pretty much commit to that.

There are rescues that might consider you for an older dog, but a puppy - please don’t. No good breeder would consider you. Any breeder that sells to you is no good...

I know how you feel - I wanted a dog for years and years - but full time work outside the home and dogs are incompatible, truthfully.

ElfEars · 19/03/2018 00:06

You're not in a position to care for a dog properly. And the breeds you mention are the least suitable in your situation, never mind riddled with health issues. You don't seem to have done much research. I agree that you should get a cat. An adult cat not a kitten. I got mine whilst working full time and they suit us perfectly. Sleep and take themselves out in the day using the cat flap then return for cuddles in the evening.

Icequeen01 · 19/03/2018 00:33

This sort of post always makes me feel so sad. So you work 8-5 and so, taking a conservative guess, you have a half hour journey to and from work each day. So in reality it will be left from 7.30 - 5.30 every day. You get in at 5.30 and the pup by then has been on its own for 10 hours. You spend, say, 5 hours with it before the poor thing is then expected to sleep through to the next morning (having already spent 10 hours during the day sleeping or staring at the four walls with no stimulation) -which bit of that don't you get?

I would love a dog but DH and I work full time. Instead we have two lovely cats. Once we reduce our hours we will then consider having a dog. It's a living creature - not something you get out of the playboy to keep you amused when you happen to be home!

This is the most strongly worded post I have ever put on MN but reading your post Op has just made me sad and angry in equal measure.

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo · 19/03/2018 00:48

So basically you are putting your needs and wants before anything so long as you get your dog eh? No problem with leaving the poor thing for at least 10 hours a day, and I don’t care what you say a dog walker for half an hour a day won’t cut it, totally cruel and selfish, call yourself a dog lover? Loads of people want dogs but they don’t have them because they are in your situation and they consider the dog before themselves.

ObiJuanKenobi · 19/03/2018 00:52

Please reconsider - think about volunteering at a rescue on weekends to get your dog fix and do some good.
Or get a kitty!

shesalady · 19/03/2018 01:48

I was desperate for a dog for years. But I put the prospective dog first and didn't get one until I wasn't working full time.

Please don't be selfish.

Itscolderoutside · 19/03/2018 04:56

In a similar position to you and I won't consider a dog until I retire. I have an adult rescue cat and that works perfectly for both of us.

BiteyShark · 19/03/2018 05:23

OP I got a puppy and work full time. However, I only work in the office around three times a week so felt able to get a dog. I also made sure I was at home for just over a month to settle the puppy in, start the training and get him used to being left alone for short periods. He was only left alone for a few hours before being picked up to go to daycare. Initially I had looked at someone popping in for puppy visits but it just doesn't work (unless you are happy to have pee/poo everywhere and things chewed at that age).

I also have a DH so the dog gets attention in the morning when you are getting ready for work as we do a tag team (one of us looks after the dog whilst the other showers etc). I couldn't imagine doing all of that on my own.

The time between getting the puppy and 6 months when yours can go to daycare is massive in terms of puppy training/socialisation and growing up. Simply leaving puppy at home all day during that time is going to give you massive issues in behaviour and training.

Also I was shattered because I have to give me dog attention (rightly so) before and after work and at the weekends. It isn't a case of coming in, feeding a puppy and then they settle down in front of the tv to sleep. The reality is very different until they hit the much calmer adult stage.

ButtertubsPass · 19/03/2018 05:35

You don’t, you are not in a position to have one.

I had cats until I was in my mid thirties when I had a work holiday to move overseas with DH’s job. I got a dog, I had all the time in the world. When we came home I did a bit of comsultancy work from home.

My dog is now 13, DH is now based at home and I go to work. When DH isn’t at home (5-7 days a month) I go to work until about 1 or 2pm and bring work home for the afternoon because I don’t want to leave my dog for longer than that. She would be absolutely fine, no problem at all, doesn’t bark, is quiet and calm, but she is happier with us.

You are not in a position to own a happy, well balanced dog, whatever the breed.

Els1e · 19/03/2018 06:16

Sorry I know it’s not what you want to hear but I wouldn’t do it. Dogs are sociable animals and like being part of a pack. Whilst you can train your dog to be left for short periods, I would not recommend leaving for longer. It can lead to behavioural problems. I think you are taking a lot on yourself. Even a small dog will need 2 x 45 min walks per day, some of that off lead to run. You will have to be up early to get a walk in, get ready for work, travel and be at work for 8am. Is there a dog rescue near by where you can volunteer?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 19/03/2018 06:25

You don’t get a puppy when you work full time. It’s animal cruelty.

katmarie · 19/03/2018 06:26

Just to add that with our puppy it was probably several weeks before she slept through the night, and house training took constant vigilance, basically she needed someone to take her out every two hours night or day. Could you do that and work full time? I was shattered, I wouldn't have wanted to drive to work tbh.

BuzzKillington · 19/03/2018 06:33

Please listen to what is being said on here.

It's just cruel. Having a dog walker does not make it ok.

Beenaround · 19/03/2018 06:36

Op I have a single mother friend and she has a dog, had her for 6 years. My friend has worked from home but is now going back to in house work, and is very worried about the dog.
She has never been left for more than 4 hours, and friend thinks she wouldn’t like day care as gets stressed around other dogs. It’s going to cost a fortune in walkers etc calling in.
Also it really interrupts your social life, you can never go anywhere for more than 4 hours!

SweetLike · 19/03/2018 06:38

We have dogs and work full time. We got the last puppy summer 2016. Between us, we took leave/worked from home so she wasn't left (except for set periods starting at half an hour etc to get used to it) until we had had her over two months. Ours are left 3 days per week and DH comes Home for them at lunch. Ours do nothing but sleep when we are out, they're a lot more active when we're home. We put the dogs first all the time eg. Working from home on a day that works for them not in a day we would prefer. It's s big lifestyle change and the only reason ours are so content being left is because we built up to it slowly and they do still have each other even when we aren't here.

Greyhorses · 19/03/2018 06:44

We had a dog when I was younger and I’m embarrassed about the fact he was left alone all day. He barked constantly and it must have been awful but my parents didn’t know any better.

Now I don’t leave mine more than 4 hours unless it’s an emergency. They are much happier dogs and love to be with someone all day. I take them to work with me so they aren’t left.

Keeping a dog alone all day is cruel and leads to behaviour problems no matter what people say who try to justify it to there selves.

PrincessHairyMclary · 19/03/2018 06:54

There's is a programme on iPlayer 'cats vs dogs' and episode 2 they researched the stress levels of dogs who were left for the day, it was very sad.

Mooey89 · 19/03/2018 07:05

OP we both work, DP full time and I work 4 days. We work very locally so able to come home at lunch etc. We would have loved a dog.

However, we recognised that it’s just not fair. We have recently rescued DCat and he’s lovely, comes for cuddles, sociable, but does his own thing during the day when we’re out!

Costacoffeeplease · 19/03/2018 07:10

DO NOT GET A PUPPY

If you love dogs just don’t do it

Nothing more to say

bonnyshide · 19/03/2018 07:10

Very cruel and unfair to a puppy, you need to think about the dog first not your own needs, that's what being a responsible pet owner is, and you clearly aren't ready.

You absolutely cannot leave a puppy home alone for 9+ hours a day 5 days a week, that will be torture for them.

wannabestressfree · 19/03/2018 07:17

I have a feeling op has fingers in ears and is not listening.....

GirlDownUnder · 19/03/2018 07:24

I would love to get a dog, I live by a beach and know the joy that would bring to a dog. But like you work full time.
Sadly I know that:

My want doesn’t trump a dogs need.