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The doghouse

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Original poster

How am I supposed to leave puppy?

53 replies

Strawberryshortcake40 · 31/01/2018 11:58

Collected puppy on Sat. I've taken two weeks off work and then presumed I could go back after then (2 1/2 hours 2 days a week).

I actually can't see how that can happen.

Ddog is 6 years, she slept in a crate, happily played on her own and was a robust independent thing. She was quite happy to be left for half hour for school run etc right from the beginning. This one is the opposite. She shrieks if I'm out of sight at all, to the point where she is shaking from fear. She can only sleep on me. We've progressed to on my legs, the first few nights she was under my chin sucking my hair! Obviously I'm not crating her and am sleeping on the sofa with her.

But I don't know how I can get her from this stage to content to being alone for a bit? I can just about get her to sleep in her crate for twenty mins or so if I wrap her in my jumper like a burrito!!

Any advice. She's so lovely and I'm so worried about her.

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fleshmarketclose · 31/01/2018 12:08

You aren't going to be able to leave a puppy who I assume will be about ten weeks old for 2 and a half hours at a time. You have to do it slowly and build up time. We started with leaving Eric for just five minutes by twelve weeks he was ok for twenty minutes by nine months for a couple of hours and now he's fine for three to four hours which is the maximum I'd ever leave a dog. Didn't you realise that you would need to have someone with him constantly for a lot longer than two weeks? You will need to find some sort of care for him until he is old enough to be left I imagine.

BiteyShark · 31/01/2018 12:11

I stayed at home for just over 1 month with my puppy before returning to work and had lined up someone to come in twice a day.

However, like you I realised that it was not going to work and therefore sent him to doggy daycare so he was only on his own for a very short time.

Original poster
Strawberryshortcake40 · 31/01/2018 12:14

Like I said I had a puppy who was fine with being left for short periods from the start and would have been fine with that. I guess I (stupidly) thought with a good routine from the start I could ease her into it.

Not going back to work is not an option!

With half term as well I have three weeks (DDs will be home then to look after her so I can go).

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Wolfiefan · 31/01/2018 12:15

Sorry but I agree you're not going to be able to leave this pup for that long. Not yet.

Original poster
Strawberryshortcake40 · 31/01/2018 12:17

Obviously I need to work up to it, but how? I don't mind at all spending time with her but I worry that her wanting to be held or only a step away from me 24/7 is going to be a problem.

Am I doing the right thing sleeping with her? Will it make her worse?

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BiteyShark · 31/01/2018 12:20

Do you have a baby gate? Get her used to seeing you but not being right next to you for a few minutes slowly increasing the time.

Then you can progress to being in a different room but in the house. Then for short periods out of the house.

How long it takes for you to build up the time will be dependant on your puppy as all puppies, just like people, are different.

Original poster
Strawberryshortcake40 · 31/01/2018 12:22

She is in a playpen when I'm not directly supervising her as Ddog does not like her (I presume this isn't helping her anxiety!), so she can see me but just cries.

I do leave her to go to the toilet, take washing upstairs etc, but not more than that.

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Original poster
Strawberryshortcake40 · 31/01/2018 12:26

She comes on the school run, in her car seat, that she spends the entire time trying to get out of and climb onto me. Which is pretty stressful whilst driving.

I guess I was just lucky with Ddog who would just sit in her harness on the seat!

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fleshmarketclose · 31/01/2018 12:50

It's a case of doing it slowly minute by minute really if it's stressful for the pup. I used to let Eric see me put my shoes and coat on so he knew I was leaving and go and stand outside out of his sight.Then go back after a few minutes. I always gave him a specific toy as I left and didn't make a fuss when I got back and it seemed to work as he has no separation anxiety. I think you need to find daycare options for now at least.

bunnygeek · 31/01/2018 12:58

Do these help? From Dogs Trust Dog School.
It's ok to be left alone:

Teaching puppy to settle:
Original poster
Strawberryshortcake40 · 31/01/2018 12:59

Daycare options for two and a half hours will pretty much wipe out what I earn!

Will just have to try and build her up to it.

Just not sure if sleeping with her will make her worse?

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missbattenburg · 31/01/2018 13:17

Not ideal but:

  • get her into the routine NOW. Whatever hours you work are hours she needs to settle quietly in her crate/bed/room without any attention so start doing that asap. Do that every day (even though she won't be left every day eventually). You might have to start by settling her then leaving her so that she can still see you. Don't look at her, don't fuss her. She needs time to learn that is downtime when nothing interesting happens.
  • plan where you want her to toilet while you are out: most likely she will not be able to hold it for 2.5 hours so you need to plan where you want her to go and get the set up right. If you are using a crate she needs a pen round it with some paper (for e.g.) so she can get out of the crate and toilet
  • see if someone will pop in midway and get them started sooner so they are not just a stranger on the first day. 30min visit shouldn't be too expensive and it won't be forever - just a few weeks.
  • if your original dog doesn't like her, plan what rooms they going to be in when left. Leaving them alone in the same room (even if one is in a crate) is unfair on either of them if there are issues between them and likely to lead to problems. That might mean getting your first dog used to be left in another room, so practise that before you have to leave them.
  • reinforce/reward her for being away from you by having her eat separate from you, such as in the garden or in another room alone. I used a kibble toy with mine and left him in the garden with it to get him used to being outside without me.
  • think about moving her downstairs to sleep but only if that doesn't cause problems with the first dog. Again, spending the night in a room with a dog that doesn't like you is not going to help her associate that room with relaxing.
Original poster
Strawberryshortcake40 · 31/01/2018 13:26

Will start on her routine

She already goes on a puppy pad in her playpen, if not outside. So that's fine. She will be in the lounge in her playpen (crate with door open and bed inside). That's the set up we've had from day one. Ddog has always been in kitchen when I'm out.

I sleep in the lounge with her, my plan had been to just stay with her and transition her gradually to being in her bed near me.

Will start researching dog sitters or someone who could pop in.

Are toy breeds more like this? Mu Ddog is a cocker and always seemed pretty robust, new pup is so tiny.

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Original poster
Strawberryshortcake40 · 31/01/2018 13:27

She eats in her playpen, away from other dog. She doesn't care if I'm there or not then as she only has eyes for the food!

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BiteyShark · 31/01/2018 13:29

Some dog walkers do puppy visits where they will pop in for 30 mins to give your puppy a chance to pee and a little play. That doesn't cost much and remember you will only need it until your puppy is bigger.

Wolfiefan · 31/01/2018 13:47

Sleeping with her wont make it worse she's a tiny baby and needs you.
Ditch the puppy pads though. They teach a dog to toilet indoors.

Wolfiefan · 31/01/2018 13:48

Argh. Posted too soon.
Could a friend or neighbour help out for a couple of hours?

Original poster
Strawberryshortcake40 · 31/01/2018 13:52

She's toileting outside fine, but it's so cold here that she gets chilled really quickly at night going outside. Which then means it's ages till she warms up and goes back to sleep. So she uses them then. They are in her playpen so I have no issue with them. And it means she at least is used to them if she has to be left for a bit.

Good to know sleeping with her is okay though. My instincts were it was the right thing to do but I've always been anti it!!

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Original poster
Strawberryshortcake40 · 31/01/2018 13:53

Friends all work and we only moved here a month ago so I don't know the neighbours. Otherwise that would have been much better

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Wolfiefan · 31/01/2018 14:01

Oh that's a shame.
Really the pads aren't a great idea. But as long as you are prepared to then re train not to use them that's up to you. We toilet trained in December so I remember the cold!

Original poster
Strawberryshortcake40 · 31/01/2018 14:05

Like I say she is going outside most of the time. In fact she's been amazing considering she had no training. But she's only just over a kg and bald in places so it's not ideal for her to get chilled!

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Original poster
Strawberryshortcake40 · 31/01/2018 14:07

I figure once she's bigger we won't need the playpen and then the pads are gone. Think I did the same for DDog when I had to pop to tescos or whatever. But she was a summer puppy so the door was always open!!

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newme175 · 31/01/2018 14:14

Best thing would be to have a dog sitter come in until she can be left on her own. I am part of a fully insured dog walker/ sitter network called “DogBuddy”, where you can check out sitters and read reviews, so have a look who is available in your area. You can use other dog sitters/ walkers (not advertising)

Wolfiefan · 31/01/2018 14:22

You will have to invest in some doggy jumpers! Wolfie pup has an equafleece
Maybe I should set up a doggy daycare for needy pups (like mine who was just the same!!) Grin

Original poster
Strawberryshortcake40 · 31/01/2018 14:34

Can't find a fleece small enough and not sure I could wriggle it on her quickly enough before she peed on my lap! Lol.

Needy. That's what she is. Yes I need a dog sitter used to needy dogs!!

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