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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

How am I supposed to leave puppy?

53 replies

Strawberryshortcake40 · 31/01/2018 11:58

Collected puppy on Sat. I've taken two weeks off work and then presumed I could go back after then (2 1/2 hours 2 days a week).

I actually can't see how that can happen.

Ddog is 6 years, she slept in a crate, happily played on her own and was a robust independent thing. She was quite happy to be left for half hour for school run etc right from the beginning. This one is the opposite. She shrieks if I'm out of sight at all, to the point where she is shaking from fear. She can only sleep on me. We've progressed to on my legs, the first few nights she was under my chin sucking my hair! Obviously I'm not crating her and am sleeping on the sofa with her.

But I don't know how I can get her from this stage to content to being alone for a bit? I can just about get her to sleep in her crate for twenty mins or so if I wrap her in my jumper like a burrito!!

Any advice. She's so lovely and I'm so worried about her.

OP posts:

missbattenburg · 31/01/2018 14:37

An alternative might be 'BorrowMyDoggy which I have never used it so cannot give comment, but have seen on here people having good experiences with it. You might find someone nearby who'd 'borrow' her for a few hours a couple of days a week.

Wolfiefan · 31/01/2018 14:38

Shame you're not my neighbour. I'm VERY used to that!!

Original poster

Strawberryshortcake40 · 31/01/2018 14:41

I've not had a needy dog. My Ddog is happy if I'm here or not! I made the stupid mistake of thinking I knew what I was doing!

OP posts:

Original poster

Strawberryshortcake40 · 31/01/2018 14:42

Not had one before that is!

OP posts:

Wolfiefan · 31/01/2018 14:47

Ha. I have no idea what I'm doing. First dog. I give you needy pup!

stayathomegardener · 31/01/2018 14:51

@Wolfiefan Awwwwwww!!!!

Wolfiefan · 31/01/2018 15:28

She's rather larger now but still likes to be as close as possible to me!

Original poster

Strawberryshortcake40 · 31/01/2018 15:45

She's lovely.
This one is a bit smaller!

OP posts:

Pagwatch · 31/01/2018 15:50

There's an extent to which by over comforting your puppy you are not giving her an oppertunity to experience being alone and it being fine.

If you just keep giving in to every second she wants to be with you then you are just confirming too her that actually that is essential.

I totally agree that you can't leave a small puppy for hours but you do seriously need to start putting some space between you. It's for puppies benefit. It feels great to swoop in and comfort her but a dog utterly unable to cope away from you is not a kindness

Wolfiefan · 31/01/2018 17:47

The advice is that to start with you should be with a puppy 24/7. Forcing early separation is more likely to cause separation anxiety.

Pagwatch · 31/01/2018 17:55

It's not 'forcing separation' to try and reassure a fellow new owner that puppies will cope if you gently and carefully start allowing them time in their own.
Letting a dog get used to having to fall asleep on you is going to get to be a habit that's harder to break. When my pups sleep I stay nearby but not right next to them and get on with stuff so they get used to my being near but not hands on.

I appreciate your allowing me to expand on my comments by taking such an extreme view of what I said

SwimmingInTheBlueLagoon · 31/01/2018 18:16

Tbh I'm with pag i wouldn't leave a dog in a highly distressed state however I do think it's possible to over comfort and effectively confirm there is something to worry about. You have to teach independence, which doesn't mean leaving them distressed but it does mean gently teaching them to be happy left.

Honkyzeke · 31/01/2018 18:25

I agree with pagwatch, I've experienced several puppies over the years be that when I was growing up and then into adulthood with my own dogs. I have to say I have never spent 24/7 with a puppy in the first few weeks, never slept with them in the room let alone my bed and I've never had any problems with separation anxiety. My dogs have always turned into well balanced happy dogs that are quite comfortable to be left on their own for 3/4 hours during the day and are more than happy to sleep without me during the night.
I would say starting as you mean to go on has been the best approach for me.
separate yourself gradually several times over the day pup will learn it's ok to be alone for a little while even if you need to distract with food, get one of the kong dog food dispensers they're brilliant for keep food led dogs busy! Good luck, you'll find a happy medium eventually I'm sure!

BiteyShark · 31/01/2018 18:42

I left pup alone from day one a little bit at a time. The nice thing I found about play pens or baby gates is that the puppy can have lots of space whilst you bustle yourself doing things in view.

As you have a deadline just like I did about going back to work I would have a look to see if you can get someone to come in for a few mins at first so you have peace of mind even if it is for the first few weeks. I have only just noticed you said you only work for a couple of hours whereas I work full time hours so whereas I had him in day care you only need someone to do a quick pee and play break.

Lucisky · 31/01/2018 19:01

We started with ours by shutting her in her crate in the sitting room after some activity and her tea (reasoning that she would feel sleepy) and going into the kitchen to prepare our own meal. If she whimpered I just put my head round the door and told her to shush. After a few nights she realised this was a ' quiet time' for her, and would settle. We just expanded on that over time, so now, at 13 months, she will happily settle for several hours, having graduated to being shut in the kitchen if we are out.
Perhaps I have been lucky, as I have never had a dog with separation anxiety. I do think some breeds are more prone to it though.
I also never make a fuss about going out- I just go! And the same coming back, I just ignore her until she has got all 4 feet on the floor and is behaving sensibly, in other words I try not to give her any signals or wind her up, everything is low key.
Best of luck op.
,

2pups · 31/01/2018 19:55

I have a Velcro pup - I leave a filled Kong/ chew or pigs ear with her in our Utility. I started with the school run (20 mins) and could now leave her for 2-3 hours.

How long is your school run?

Original poster

Strawberryshortcake40 · 31/01/2018 20:03

School run is about 40 mins depending on traffic.

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MabelBee · 31/01/2018 20:16

I'm no expert, but every time I leave the puppy in her playpen, I pop her Kong in with a few treats. You say that your pup is happy when eating, so associating alone time with treats might work for you. I load mine up with kibble, a few squirts of the Kong treat stuff or a bit of peanut butter to block the hole and then stick it in the freezer ahead of time. It takes her a while to defrost it to get to the treats so buys me quite a bit of time while she's preoccupied. It took 2 weeks to get her up to two and a half hours but she was about 16 weeks then.

Wolfiefan · 31/01/2018 20:47

All dogs are different. If the puppy is shaking with fear every time the OP is out of sight then shutting it in a crate for a couple of hours will create more fear. Pup may even injure itself if it tries to escape.

SwimmingInTheBlueLagoon · 31/01/2018 21:16

Wolfie no one is suggesting op shoves pup in a crate and abandons a terrified and shaking puppy for a few hours.

Farfel · 01/02/2018 02:45

But there is another dog around! Do you keep them separate, and if so, why? if they can keep each other company? Your puppy is not alone with another dog around, if she learns that the other dog is company too. And she may adopt OtherDog's behaviour when you're out.

Clumsily worded, but I hope you get what I mean.

Original poster

Strawberryshortcake40 · 01/02/2018 05:43

Because Ddog hates her. She snarled and snapped at her the minute she saw her and wants nothing to do with her.

Yes I had thought they would be friends and maybe they will one day? But at the moment it's obvious puppy will be hurt if they are near each other.

I do think that's making puppy more anxious. She came from a home with lots of dogs that she mingled with happily and now there's one here who won't be her friend.

Anyhow she slept all night, still asleep now since 10pm. On my shoulder lol!

OP posts:

Pagwatch · 01/02/2018 07:17

Oh you poor thing.

Is there someone you could speak to because I would have thought that your other dogs dislike of the puppy is going to increase if it has ll your attention. Isnt this now something of a vicious circle?

BiteyShark · 01/02/2018 07:33

Actually Pagwatch made a good point. Could you get a behaviourist in to give you advice on managing the interaction with your older dog and new pup to see if there is anything you haven't thought of which might make older dog more accepting of new pup.

Original poster

Strawberryshortcake40 · 01/02/2018 08:08

Had two very knowledgeable doggy friends round who are both a bit baffled by Ddogs behaviour. But think keeping them separate the only way for now. It just makes it very hard work.

OP posts:

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