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The doghouse

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Original poster

Am I a horrible person?

51 replies

In33daholiday · 30/01/2018 09:18

First time posting so be gentle with me.

My DP and I have a 2 year old dog. We have had her since she was a puppy. I really don't know where to begin. She isn't a terrible dog but she is destroying my house. She is a little heavy pawed with the cats so DP has constructed a make shift "Gate" in the hall to separate her from the cats. Its where she sleeps at night and has loads of space. She is house trained yet when she wants to go to the bathroom she goes right there. She doesn't cry to be left out like she would when she was younger and we did leave her out asap when she used to. I don't know whats changed.

I can't leave any of the doors unlocked when shes outside because she will come into the house and rip up whatever she sees first (usually the bin).If my cats go outside and she catches them she holds them down with her paw in a way that is playful for her but defiantly not for the cats.

She loves being outside during the day and runs around constantly which has caused all the gravel in the drive to be thrown up in heaps. She barks at the neighbours all the time and refuses to come in when shes told to. My garden is full of dog sh#t because DP says the lawnmower will pick it up. It doesn't !

She constantly jumps on us and scratches us and can easily knock me over. When anyone comes to the house she growls at them and once she went for DPs friend and bit on to his leg. DP's niece was over last week and she growled at her. I can't even list some of the stupid things she has done in the last week that has pissed me off. None of my other dogs were ever like this.

I think half my problem is with DP , he doesn't walk her. I'm terrified to walk her in case she went for someone. It has gotten worse and worse and I used to be a dog lover. I grew up with dogs . I keep saying to DP she would be better off with someone who has time to walk her and give her attention. I get told I have no soul and if I can get rid of her so easily i'm a horrible person. Am I a horrible person? I'm just so exhausted from her. It's like everyday I have to plan around her and what she could do today. I know some of the stuff she does is only small stuff but when it all comes together i'm just like I didn't sign up for this!

I don't know why I'm posting here. I guess being told I'm a horrible person with no soul by DP makes me want to see outside opinions. Any advice? Your own stories with terror dogs?

OP posts:
BrutusMcDogface · 30/01/2018 09:20

Well I'm not a dog person in the slightest but sounds like she's not being looked after properly if she's not being walked twice a day! No wonder she's destroying things and running round in circles on your gravel drive. Get the dog trained, exercised, or rehomed.

mustbemad17 · 30/01/2018 09:21

Have you had her to the vet about her toileting? First rule of thumb with behaviour change is vet check; rule out any infection that might mean she can't hold it, rule out any pain that might be making her uncomfortable & growly.

It sounds like she is just being left tbh. If nobody is walking her, what exercise is she getting? If your garden is over run with poo, she could be trying to find somewhere clean to toilet. Also sounds like she needs to go back to basics with her manners & training...which requires effort from you & DP

GinIsIn · 30/01/2018 09:23

Your dog is climbing the walls with lack of stimulation - you have to walk it!

stickytoffeevodka · 30/01/2018 09:23

No wonder she's unhappy and destructive - she needs at least two decent walks a day!

If neither of you can be arsed to walk her then do the decent thing for her and find her a home where people give a toss!

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 30/01/2018 09:24

He tells you you're a horrible person, yet he doesn't walk his dog or pick up after it?

That's disgusting. I say that as quite a slack dog owner. My Ddogs are bonkers and both hard work in their own way but there's no chance I wouldn't pick up after them, and they get walked/exercised and loved every day.

You should probably re home the dog. Or get a trainer in, and properly commit to looking after your poor dog.

If you don't already have kids with your P, please don't. He does not sound supportive, helpful, useful at all. You'll be doing all the work with kids and receiving his criticism when it goes wrong, too.

Yuck.

roundtable · 30/01/2018 09:25

You need a behaviourist and to walk your dog. She sounds bored.

I'm at home ill today. I'll still walk mine in the next half an hour or so although not for as long as usual.

Have you tried clicker training? Keeps their mind active which also tires them out while you work on behaviour.

Jigglytuff · 30/01/2018 09:25

She's bored and stressed because she's bored. You don't take her out, you don't clean up her shit. How do you expect her to be a happy well socialised dog if you don't put any time or effort into making that happen?

MsGameandWatching · 30/01/2018 09:26

She's not getting enough exercise or input, it's that simple. My usually impeccably behaved Scottie turns into a nippy, boisterous nightmare if he doesn't get his two walks a day - 20 - 60 minutes in the morning, depending on schedule, 60-90 minutes in the afternoon. He's a year old, he needs it just as your dog does at her age. Could you take her very first thing so there's not many people about? Your DP needs to step up and if he won't then yes I think rehoming could be the best option. What breed is she?

bluetongue · 30/01/2018 09:35

She’s still a young dog so would hopefully have a decent chance of getting a new home. Breed will probably make a difference as well. There are some breeds with plenty of potential owners looking for a still young dog out of the puppy stage and groups that will rehoming just that breed.

At the moment she’s not happy or well looked after and it doesn’t sound like either of you are getting much out of the setup either.

Soubriquet · 30/01/2018 09:39

What breed is she?

She desperately needs to be walked. She needs to go somewhere, where she can have a bloody good run. Then she won't have the energy to torment or ruin things.

If you feel you can't give this to her, then yes you really need to rehome

steppemum · 30/01/2018 09:43

to be honest I got half way down your poat and thought - sh esaounds like she needs more walking and then you said your dh doesn't walk her.

She is bored
She is lacking stimulation
She is goign out of her mind with frustration and pent up energy.

She needs to be able to run around for an hour in a park/field, off lead, for a MINIMUM. Every.single.day.

If your dh won;t walk her, then pay someone to walk her.

My dog was very quiet on his walk yesterday, didn't do much running, very unlike him. When dh took him out for his second walk last night he went bonkers for 20 minutes running round, and this morning he has just gone nuts in the garden.
I am off out to walk him in a minute and I know he will race off that excess energy.

MammaAgata · 30/01/2018 09:45

Please just rehome the dog. A happy well adjusted dog that has had the correct amount of exercise and stimulation should spend most of the day asleep. You haven't said the breed but ideally they should be walked for at least an hour a day. Off the lead would be best. You are simply not providing the most basic care an animal needs. I can't see how this will change if you have had the dog for 2 years and haven't got those basic principles covered.

Wolfiefan · 30/01/2018 09:50

Your dog is bored and frustrated. You need to do regular exercise and training. Good behaviour doesn't just magically happen. It is a result of hard work and commitment. Poor dog.
What breed?

BertrandRussell · 30/01/2018 09:52

Take her for two good walks a day for two weeks and see how she is then.

Icklepup · 30/01/2018 09:54

Why the hell don't you pick up the dog shit?! I don't understand... You need to walk her and play with her! I'd say re-home her as you don't seem happy with her.

mustbemad17 · 30/01/2018 09:56

If you choose to rehome her please make sure you are honest about her behaviour & why she is the way she is. This isn't her fault

Jigglytuff · 30/01/2018 09:56

I think you should rehome her. Neither of you seem to want a dog particularly and an unloved dog is an unhappy one. This isn't working for any of you

Floralnomad · 30/01/2018 09:57

She is not a terror dog , she is an unfortunate dog with terrible owners .

Myddognearlyatethedeliveryman · 30/01/2018 10:00

Rehome the dh and put effort into the dog instead. Grin

TheFaerieQueene · 30/01/2018 10:00

This makes me so bloody angry. Walk the poor dog fgs and look after her. If not find someone who will.

Hoppinggreen · 30/01/2018 10:00

A horrible person would keep a young dog in a confined space and not walk it, they wouldn’t find it a home where it’s properly cared for.

DanielCraigsUnderpants · 30/01/2018 10:01

When you get a dog, or any pet, you do have to plan around them. Thats rather the point. They are reliant on you to meet their needs. If you dont, or can't see the need to, then you arent in a place to have a dog. I walk my dogs in rain or shine, if i'm sick, if i cant i get help. I have two, and a toddler. Its hard word. If i cant do it, then i ask for help from friends or I pay for it. Its what you do when you sign up to care for another living creature.

They need exercise, training, stimulation. How would you feel cooped up in the same house or garden all day every day. I'm not saying this to be unkind. I can see you're beating yourself up about this and no, you are not horrible person. But you are making selfish choices right now. Honestly, you need to either step up your game and walk the dog and take care of its basic needs or rehome.

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 30/01/2018 10:05

My garden is full of dog sh#t because DP says the lawnmower will pick it up. It doesn't !

Shock

No one can be that stupid surely? He’s a disgusting lazy git. As are you too BTW for just leaving it up to him.

Neither of you have trained this dog. What on earth possessed you to get a dog you had no interest in actually raising?

Bananarama12 · 30/01/2018 10:07

A tired dog is a good dog! Take some responsibility and walk her! It's not her fault neither of you can be bothered to pick up after her either. Seriously?!

TeeBee · 30/01/2018 10:13

I read the first 3 paragraphs of your post and thought 'that sounds like my dog when I haven't walked him for a day'. And lo and behold...you are not walking the dog...at all!. I suspect that is the root of all the problems. A dog needs walking...end of. Nobody appears to be taking care of this dog. It is small wonder that it is acting up like this. This is an owner problem, not a dog problem.