Am I a horrible person?

[In33daholiday]

First time posting so be gentle with me.

My DP and I have a 2 year old dog. We have had her since she was a puppy. I really don't know where to begin. She isn't a terrible dog but she is destroying my house. She is a little heavy pawed with the cats so DP has constructed a make shift "Gate" in the hall to separate her from the cats. Its where she sleeps at night and has loads of space. She is house trained yet when she wants to go to the bathroom she goes right there. She doesn't cry to be left out like she would when she was younger and we did leave her out asap when she used to. I don't know whats changed.

I can't leave any of the doors unlocked when shes outside because she will come into the house and rip up whatever she sees first (usually the bin).If my cats go outside and she catches them she holds them down with her paw in a way that is playful for her but defiantly not for the cats.

She loves being outside during the day and runs around constantly which has caused all the gravel in the drive to be thrown up in heaps. She barks at the neighbours all the time and refuses to come in when shes told to. My garden is full of dog sh#t because DP says the lawnmower will pick it up. It doesn't !

She constantly jumps on us and scratches us and can easily knock me over. When anyone comes to the house she growls at them and once she went for DPs friend and bit on to his leg. DP's niece was over last week and she growled at her. I can't even list some of the stupid things she has done in the last week that has pissed me off. None of my other dogs were ever like this.

I think half my problem is with DP , he doesn't walk her. I'm terrified to walk her in case she went for someone. It has gotten worse and worse and I used to be a dog lover. I grew up with dogs . I keep saying to DP she would be better off with someone who has time to walk her and give her attention. I get told I have no soul and if I can get rid of her so easily i'm a horrible person. Am I a horrible person? I'm just so exhausted from her. It's like everyday I have to plan around her and what she could do today. I know some of the stuff she does is only small stuff but when it all comes together i'm just like I didn't sign up for this!

I don't know why I'm posting here. I guess being told I'm a horrible person with no soul by DP makes me want to see outside opinions. Any advice? Your own stories with terror dogs?

And if you are terrified to walk it, get a harness and a muzzle. No pulling and no biting.
I'm surprised that you said that you have grown up with dogs and you are surprised at this behaviour. Seriously...walk the dog!

Poor dog she is going out of her mind with frustration. No wonder she is running circles when she isn't walked, no wonder she is messing in the house when the garden is full of shit,no wonder she is destructive when she gets no stimulation or positive interaction. None of these behaviours are the dog's fault. They lie firmly at the door of the dog's owners who are too bloody lazy and neglectful to care for the animal in their home.
You need to find a rescue centre who can find a home for the dog that she deserves and you need to make sure you never ever get another dog.

Good god

I don’t think you’re a horrible person but I think you and your partner are horrible dog owners. I don’t feel sorry for either of you I feel sorry for the dog, it’s been given a shit life, it’s bored, under exercised and under stimulated yet it’s labelled a difficult dog because of its behaviour.

No, YOU are the reason your dog is this way. I’m not even gunna advise you because there’s plenty other decent advice from other posters, but I think your dog deserves much better owners.

And your DP sounds disgusting. Even if the lawnmower could pick up dog shit WHY would you even want it to? BOTH of you stop being so bloody lazy and pick up after your dog!!! This thread has angered me, please give your dog to a family who will look after her properly.

Actually take that back you both ARE horrible people.

Decent people wouldn’t neglect a dog like this

Yep (to answer your original question)

Did you grow up overseas, OP? I know that, in some countries (including the one my DH is from), it's not really a thing to walk dogs and they just run around a large fenced garden instead. So maybe that's why you didn't realise. But most dogs will be much happier (& calmer at home) if they've had at least one (preferably two) good walks outside of their garden. It's not just about the physical exercise, but also the mental stimulation that comes from meeting other dogs, sniffing the "messages" left by other dogs, foxes etc that were in the area recently and a change of scene. It's really important for dogs and you should find she's much less boisterous at home if you're walking her every day. Also, there will be less poo in your garden (although you still have to pick it up, wherever she does it!).

You bought a puppy, didn't socialise or exercise her.
She's now bored and frustrated and has no social skills.
You don't even want to pick up dog shit.

I don't understand why you wanted a puppy, nor how anyone can really help you. The best advice I can give is to get her on a waiting list for a rescue place, being completely honest about how you have treated this puppy . :(

Bloody hell that poor dog. Yes you are being a horrible person. Or a horrible/irresponsible dog owner anyway.

I am trying to decide whether this is just another goady 'I don't look after my dog and want to rehome her' thread designed to get us dog folks to bite because surely no one thinks the lawn mower will pick up dog poo?

If no one is going to provide stimulation and walk the dog then expect more of this behaviour from her. Walk, provide mental stimulation and go to training classes to train yourself otherwise yes rehome.

Agree Bitey. This may well go the way of "french bulldog just attacked me" and the "can I leave my puppy alone for 10 hours" threads.

What sort of dog is she? Large, if she can easily knock you over and you’re scared of walking her?

What training have you done?

You’ve had dogs before, what is different with this dog? Did you walk, train and pick up poo before?

You have to take some responsibility here.

1. Dog needs a good walk MINIMUM of once per day. Your DP must commit to this if you genuinely cannot manage to walk her.

2. You must play training games to tire her brain and get the behaviour under control. In the house, in the garden.

3. Pick up the poo! Why are you leaving it to your DP? It’s grim. Pick it up every time. You’re going to be with her out in the garden more doing training so not excuses.

Your dog is bored, and making its own fun (barking, kicking/digging up gravel, “playing” with the cats). Amuse the dog, and it will behave better.

Get some food-dispensing toys to keep her busy in the house.

I think you are right Bitey I suspect this will be deleted soon enough

Sadly there are far too many people who treat their dogs like the 'op'. But probably not many thick enough to post about it.

I'm sure you're not bad person but you're a bloody horrible dog owner. Even more so because you've had dogs before and you should know better.

You need to exercise your dog FFS. If you or your DH are unwilling, hire a dog walker.
You need to get a decent behaviourist in to address the other training issues you are experiencing.
Pick your dog shit up. Seriously. Not one can be stupid enough to think a lawnmower will do it and unless you are mowing your lawn every day, that's not acceptable even if you believe that shit. Leaving shit there is just disgusting for you and your animal.

None of this is rocket science and the fact that you haven't done any of these things means I have a pretty low opinion of you and your DH and you're neglecting your dog. Simple as. As you seem incapable of dealing with the basics of owning an animal, rehome the dog. But PLEASE do it responsibly. If you got it from a decent breeder, contact them. They should take the dog back or help you with rehoming. If not, take it to a decent charity. DO NOT sell it on Facebook, Gumtree or any where on the internet.

And then don't get another animal. Or child for that matter if you don't like dealing with shit and seem to think it will just magically get sucked up somehow.

A harness with a clip between the front legs should allow you to exercise most dogs. If that doesn't work add a headcollar type lead as well and you should be in control. That will get the dog out walking which should start calming her down.

What is she like with other dogs? Is there a secure area she can be let off lead, ideally to play with other dogs? That would be my next step.

Alongside ramp up the training. Get her working to keep her mind stimulated.

...and someone has to pick up the dog shit. It's what you do when you have a dog.

Your dog needs exercise and company! And some doggy rules set in place. Is he/she alone all day stuck inside?! No wonder it is destructive!

With regard to the cats, is there a way you can feed them before you give pooch his food? Show him he's lower down the pecking order and he might not be so dominating of the cats? I'm certainly no expert but thought it might be worth suggesting.

I agree with everyone else, she sounds desperately bored and unstimulated. You both are not willing to put the effort in to care for her properly and therefore need to decide if you will take the advice you've received here on board in spending more time and energy on her or if you will rehome her as things cannot continue as they are.

Please also think of your poor cats. They must be having an utterly miserable time being the chew toys of your bored dog at the moment. One day she might take play too far and seriously injure or kill them (I have known this to happen on several occasions completely 'out of the blue' ). How would you feel then?

I have just come across this thread. I can’t believe the OP! That poor dog 😞

I hope OP has rehomed to someone with basic common sense

What effort have you put into training her and mentally stimulating her? I see she certainly isn't getting the physical exercise she needs. Have you hired a behaviourist? It's A LOT of work to implement their efforts and it's exactly what you should do as a responsible owner but from the way you and your husband sound, I don't think you'd put it in.

Bloody hell. Gets dog > gets bored of dog once they're not a puppy anymore > doesn't walk dog > dog loses its damn mind = I can't stand my dog.

I meant their recommendations, not their efforts

Everyone that's suggesting rehoming the dog... please tell me where you think the rehoming space is coming from as my organisation had 72 phone calls yesterday from owners wanting to get rid of their dogs... so we would love to know where all these rescue spaces are...

OP, Walk your bloody dog. If you are scared, put a halti or muzzle on and give yourself space from other people.
If she growls at visitors, separate them, and give them a treat to give to her.
Let her into the garden regularly to avoid accidents on the house. Lots of praise when she goes outside. And pick the shit up ffs..

This cant be real surely? Good Lord.

"I dont walk my dog why's she destroying the house and barking and being giddy and boisterous'?

Er... I wonder.
She needs stimulation and exercise! She needs walking off lead. Your DP sounds like a lazy git. If he wants to have a dog he needs to meet you half way. And who the Sam Hill picks shit up with a lawnmower?! Pick it up!
I thought I was bad! There's a couple of rogue piles in my yard sometimes but that's as far as it goes because I walk my dog! She's a large, nightmare breed combination and she's a pest sometimes but she doesn't chew or toilet in the house or terrorise anyone. . She's given attention and she's exercised. Who wanted the dog? Its not rocket science.

I give up @Nesssie and @Jackie219

I despair. Magic rescue fairies will just take the dog won't they. Argh.

Agreeing with Nessie put a muzzle on her and take the poor thing for proper walks/runs.
I personally think you are both terrible dog owners (I'm not even going to think about the lawnmower and the dog shit situation! ) and maybe it's worth approaching a local rescue about rehoming the dog.
In the meantime do you know any friends/neighbour/borrow my doggie who might step in and walk your dog?
Although I'm pretty surprised if you have owned a dog before, you don't seem to know what you are doing in the slightest.