Had to take ddog back to shelter. Absolutely devastated.

[Harumff]

So I posted about some issues with our rescued collie x previously: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_doghouse/2957129-Ddog-snapped-at-two-children

Basically she was an absolute angel in the house with us and so loving and fun she completely won our hearts, but she was scared of little kids running about and other dogs. After the two 'almost' incidents in my previous post with young kids we worked hard with her and she seemed to be coping ok passing kids in the street. The dog situation never improved though.
We live in a new build estate and when we first got her three months ago we didn't have many neighbours but over the last few weeks a few families with small kids moved in and, as it's the summer holidays, there's been a few 4-6 ish year olds regularly playing out in front of our house and ddog has clearly been stressed, running from window to window watching them - either excited or stressed, not sure, but definitely wound up.
So, yesterday, she had been in alone for a couple of hours (which she's fine with) and then my Mam and daughter came home and opened the front door.... without warning she darted out and made a bee-line for a girl, barked at her then bit the top of her leg before running back in the house. Luckily the girl is ok, just a small puncture. It could have been so much worse.

I just couldn't trust her anymore. It was ok keeping her on the lead outside so she couldn't hurt anyone but with teenage kids coming and going I can't guarantee she won't get out again. I feel like we have had enough warnings and if she does anything more serious it would be entirely our fault for not preventing it.
So, after a long chat to the rescue we got her from they recommended taking her back to work with their behaviouralist then hopefully find her a calm home somewhere she won't have kids outside regularly like we do.
I know deep down we've done the right thing but there's a massive hole in the family where she was and I can't stop picturing her back at the shelter pining for us. I just feel awful, my husband was up half the night upset and my kids are in a mess. I don't know if it's grieving or guilt or both.
I really hope I did the right thing for her :-(

Oh how sad

You've done the right, sensible thing though. She will get a home that will offer her the security she needs, please try not to feel guilty. Perhaps ask if you could visit her once she has settled in her new home, or even if they dan pass your details to the new owner just so they can update you.

You've done the right thing. God forbid, but she could seriously hurt a child. Then she would be pts. Far better that she is rehomed somewhere more suitable and lives out her life, happily.

I'm sorry for your upset. This is why I could never have a rescue.

Deep down I know it's for the best but I can't stop picturing her back at the shelter distressed and wondering why we've abandoned her. We loved her so much I just wish it could have worked out.

I think I'll feel better if I hear she has gone to someone else who can look after her but I'm scared it won't happen for her.

The house is so empty we had gotten used to family life with a dog and I keep expecting her to come round the corner for a cuddle :-(

Could you not just make sure everyone shuts her in the kitchen before the door is opened so there's no way she could escape? Seems such a shame if she was otherwise a lovely dog. There must be some way of making sure she never gets loose. Could you have gates across your driveway or anything like that?

Could you have put up a stair gate or something so she couldn't run out? We don't let our dogs get out the front because we're on a busy road.

I never understand on here when people say that the dog escapes through the door and they can't guarantee that it won't . An airlock type system is easy to implement unless you live in a totally open plan house which has no porch.

I never understand on here when people say that the dog escapes through the door and they can't guarantee that it won't . An airlock type system is easy to implement unless you live in a totally open plan house which has no porch

Exactly my thoughts.

I think you've done the right thing OP. The rescue will work with her. Look at it this way...she might have been stressed hearing the children outside...scared even.

I get the hole they leave though...it's huge.

Well thanks for making me feel crap.
We also have two cats - to keep them separate and safe while we're out we lock them in the kitchen/diner and give the dog the run of the hallway, living room and study. We don't have a porch so the only way to prevent her being at the front door when we're home would be to close her in the living room while we're out which doesn't seem fair on her. We also don't have the ability to lock the front garden away - it's a new build so all open plan out the front.
Believe me I didn't take this decision lightly and have thought through all possibilities to keep her and local children safe.

Thanks Colours. That's what the rescue actually said, it's not just the chance of her attacking a child it's the potential stress the kids being there is causing her to lead to her doing that yesterday.

Please don't feel bad. You've done the absolute best you could, and it will never be good enough for some people. It isn't easy having a dog with behavioural challenges and aggression against humans is a pretty massive one. I speak from experience. My husband and I bought s puppy not knowing he was for a puppy farmer. He had so many issues - possessed over anything, would bite us if we tried to take anything, hated everyone and everything and each day was total micromanagement of him and our home. I couldn't have continued that when I had kids, but we lost him to a heart defect when I found out I was pregnant with our first.
I know how hard it is, and I wouldn't dare judge you. Bless you for taking a rescue into your home and giving her a wonderful chance, and I am so sorry it didn't work out. At least you tried. Not many do

Poor dog. .
Sounds like your family isn't quite ready for a dog.

Not a criticism, we have 4 dogs and have never had one escape. . But sometimes life is just too hectic for extra paws.

We have a BC with the same tendencies. With so x dogs in the house she's currently the only one we have to check for when somethings comes to the door, but had dogs for yars so it's a trained response.

You did the right thing. Even when inside she'd have focused on what was happening outside. She'd have become very stressed. We've had to go the vet route with ours and we've had her since a pup. She's fine when she's the only dog no other critters in the room, but bring others into the equation and she's an immediate stresshead.

The lass will settle in a quiet home. It's nothing detrimental to you, it's just how she is.

Don't feel bad. I have DDog, who has been very ill over the years, and doesn't have any self confidence with other dogs. I took in a re-home dog from another owner (there were allergy issues with her DC) to keep him company - his breed (Beagle) loves a bit of a pack. Disaster. Re-home dog was absolutely hyper and turned DDog into a quivering wreck, usually found hiding under the coffee table. I called the former owner and told her it just wasn't working - I couldn't train DDog to be more brave, and it wasn't in re-home dog's best interest to be with our family. She needed a younger, more energetic companion. I snivelled all the way to her house, outright crying when I left there as I felt a failure and really bad. Best thing for DDog though - he could come out from under the coffee table.

It doesn't always work. Your situation is especially sensitive, as your DDog needs a different home, away from children. You often see that on the little bios that dog shelters have on their dogs - it's there for a reason. You did the right thing.

Please don't feel bad. Even if you took all possible precautions you'd always be on edge in case something happens and you poor dog would continue to be dressed by its surroundings. It's kinder all round to find a more suitable home.

Dressed?! Distressed

You've done the right thing. It doesn't sound like this dog's response to having little kids in the area is something you (or the rescue) could have anticipated, and there really isn't any practical for you to relieve this stress - other than by doing what you have.

I have huge respect for people who take on a rescue, not least because there is a possibility that it won't work out for reasons beyond your control. I hope that in due course you do find the dog that's right for your family and location.

So sad for this poor dog. Collie's will display herding and nipping type behaviour. These smaller beings she's seeing moving strangely are triggering her natural instincts.

I am an experienced dog owner and can never understand how a dog can run out a front door.

Her den could have been in the kitchen behind a baby gate to stop her accessing the rest of the house.

It sounds like a lack of understanding on your part (not necessarily your fault) but rescue shouldn't rehome complex breeds to inexperienced people.

An airlock type system is easy to implement unless you live in a totally open plan house which has no porch

Unless you have children who can't be relied upon to stick to the system. Even adults are fallible - one mistake might have devastating consequences.

The OP has already explained that the cats are in the kitchen and there is no porch.

It's not as easy as it sounds to implement an air lock with the doors. Our dog is 100% people friendly, but doesn't like other dogs so he's never let off lead. For 9 years we've had an air loc system where there's 2 closed doors between him and the front door. A couple of weeks ago one of the kids opened one door and the other door hadn't been pulled too properly, as in it was shut but the latch hadn't clicked. The dog ran straight out and bit another dog walking past. Luckily no marks on the other dog, but it goes to show that even tho it's only been once in 9 years that you can never 100% say a dog won't escape.

You just weren't the right fit, sorry it's not worked out but you did the right thing. Having to be pts for biting would be alot worse compared to living in a shelter until their adopted

Poor dog

I've never had a dog escape.

Sorry, you are partly at fault here. There are many things you could've done to prevent her running out the door.

I have had nothing but rescue dogs for 20 years and get frustrated at the number of people rehoming dogs for spurious reasons. You are not one of those people though. Your dog was not the right fit for your family and environment and was getting stressed. It takes a bigger person sometimes to admit things aren't right. I agree with the rescue that the constant stress of guarding from the kids walking past would have been hard for your dog. My last rescue had bounced from home to home and ended up in a home with kids who (by the sound of things) ran riot around him. He was taken back in the end after he nipped one for hitting him round the head with a toy! He hated kids from then on (and wasn't all that keen on adults either unless he knew them very well). I had the privilege of sharing my life with him for 10 years. I was lucky enough to be able to keep him away from situations which would have wound him up and spent many a happy weekend hillwalking in the back end of nowhere with him. Another house on an estate with kids outside, even if there were none in the house he was in, would have destroyed what was left of him when I got him. He never was 'perfect' but we loved each other greatly.

I hope you find a dog who fits in well with you.