Help - New Puppy

[Pennywise64]

I'm expecting to get flamed.

We collected our puppy Cockapoo on Sunday. I am really struggling with her. I have two young children and she keeps biting and attacking my youngest. He is now scared of her. Keeps saying that he wish les we never got her. He stays away from her but she keeps going for him.

She is only 10 weeks. She is a lovely girl pup but I am concerned that I have taken on more than I can deal with. It is making me anxious and I am sat here in tears.

Any advice on what is best to do would be greatly appreciated.

I have a friend with two dogs who said she would take her if it all became too much for me.

The lady you are suggesting I will shunt her to has been a close friend since school. I trust her implicitly.

That's great for you but the breeder doesn't know her from Adam. Good breeders care where their puppies go and want to know where the dogs they've bred are. Not just because they're hugely emotionally invested in them and want to be sure they're safe and secure throughout their lives but because if they can't keep track of the dogs they've bred they've no clue if their breeding programme is producing what they'd hoped.

I hope the breeder is actually half decent and you manage to have a useful discourse with her about this whole issue.

My concern is the amount of conflicting advice I have received from various forums.

I would highly recommend following the various advice and guides on the FB group I linked to earlier. It's run by professionals who use positive, force-free, up to date and scientifically based methods. Anyone can set themselves up as a dog trainer, peddle absolute garbage and still have a devoted following they can flog books to. It doesn't make them right and it doesn't mean their methods aren't dubious and potentially dangerous.

I have taken some of the advice on here and joined a dedicated cockapoo Facebook page. There is some awesome advice on there.

Someone asked do you really think only people who can afford to not work have dogs. I'm surprised at how many people on the site work full time and leave their dogs for 5 days.

There is a vast amount of info on the breed and I think with the right amount of training we can make this work as a family.

Thanks to all of you for your sound advice.

I really would recommend joining this group as well. For all the reasons previously stated.

It might not be full of poodle cross owners saying it's fine to leave a dog eight hours a day five days a week but you will get proper, sound advice there.

I think I may need to step away from the Doghouse for a while...

Totally agree bubble

You've had the pup for 4 days and already you're resentful that she is taking your attention away from your kids and that you feel tied to the house.

You then explain that she will be left for 4 hour periods as of next week, is that correct? With a neighbour 'popping in'

This is not an acceptable set up. The puppy will suffer, she will be bored, lonely and miserable. You really haven't thought this through. This dog will be an integral part of your family for the next decade and already you are crumbling 4 days in.

Please, do the right thing and re home her. I am an experienced dog owner (I have 5) and they require a huge amount of time, patience, training, exercise, love and understanding. You do not sound cut out for it at all.

Pennywise come to the puppy support thread - you won't get flamed there. Mistakes have been made but you are acknowledging that and looking for the best way forward.

She won't be on her own until august as her DH is working at home until then (although worth checking that he's not going to leave your young pup alone to get things done, puppies if this age require a lot of attention).

Thanks I don't mind the flaming. It's nice to see people care so much about dogs and their welfare.

I will come to the puppy site.

The cockapoo Facebook site is,to be fair, a lot less judgmental and people don't make assumptions and read posts properly.

In other news the breeder is calling me tomorrow to discuss. She apologised profusely for not getting back to me today but was out.

Sounds like normal puppy behaviour
I wanted my pup for a long time and dog sat for a few people but still ended up in tears regularly when we got him. My dc were 11 and 7 and real dog lovers and they struggled with him at times and the youngest begged us to send him back.
He's 1 now and a lovely part of our family but it was really really hard.
Puppies are cute for a reason - so you don't hate them!!
Go to the puppy support group and you will see lots of people in your position and lots more like me who have managed to survive!!

I'm not gunna be nasty I'm gunna be honest.

Did you do ANY research what so ever?

You've just got a 10 week old puppy and you're already asking how long it'll be before she's only going 3/4 times a day? Her constant weeing/pooing is making you depressed?? what did you really expect to happen when you brought home a 10 week old puppy?

Honestly it sounds like you're one of these people who go out and buy a designer "breed" without putting any research into puppies beforehand.

You should be taking her out every half hour AT THE LONGEST. Realistically you need to be taking her out every 20 minutes and after every meal/drink/play.

I'm not giving you a flaming OP I'm being honest. If you'd done any research you would've known raising a puppy is harder than a newborn.

The cockapoo Facebook site is,to be fair, a lot less judgmental and people don't make assumptions and read posts properly.

I can see where you are coming from but please do bear in mind that cockerpoo's are highly likely to be bought by people who have done no real research and thus not so aware of how things 'should' be done. On here try not to take the strongly worded answers too personally and look at the objective advice. People on here are generally very knowledgeable.

Also do have a look at that secret life of dogs program someone mentioned earlier (it's on all4). There were 40 dogs in the study. 5 owners knew there was a problem. The remainder thought their dog (or dogs) were fine. Of those 35 thought to be fine only 5 were! The others, although not howling and disturbing neighbours or destroying the place were suffering from stress and anxiety at being left. Shocking and sad.