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The doghouse

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Original poster

Regretting getting puppy

78 replies

fessmess · 25/01/2017 09:05

15 weeks old and I couldn't rehome her but I regret getting her. I finished a work contract and decided to concentrate on my studies, whilst looking after the puppy. The reality is I am with the pup, unless my dh is around, for 24 hours a day and my world consists of my front room, the garden and a walk round the block. I sleep in the lounge with her, her in crate, and cannot leave the house or she howls. My teenage dds have gone from "yes, we'll help with the dog so you can do x, y or z" to disappearing into their rooms and leaving me to it. Final straw was having to cancel a morning's induction for a volunteer job(to do with my studies) and my eldest saying she can't have pup due to her anxiety. It's a disaster. Don't really know point of this post except to say my dh thinks I'm lucky to be at home with it and I should stop moaning. So, I'm moaning here! Soz.

OP posts:

Gildedcage · 25/01/2017 10:15

I got my puppy one of those calming collars, can't remember the name of it, but it worked for the anxiety. For what it's worth my dogs 3 and he still uses his crate. It's hard but will be worth it in the end.

missyB1 · 25/01/2017 10:27

Just wanted to give you some sympathy and say I totally understand!
My puppy is 7 months now and I still have days when I could cry with the stress. Don't get me wrong it's a lot easier than the stage you are at but the challenges are just different. I made some mistakes with the training (particularly recall) so I've had to go right back to the beginning with that and it's exhausting! I am also the only one in the house doing all the hard work
I would second getting a one to one trainer. If you can get a puppy daycare or walker that would help, but I found that impossible as no one wanted to take a young puppy.
Mind you we have found a lovely kennels that she does the odd weekend in now if we go away.

Good luck it will settle down soon!

elQuintoConyo · 25/01/2017 10:35

We need a photo!

I'd be kicking butts at getting others to help walk and train etc, it must be hard on you doing it all by yourself. Ear plugs and gifts from god!

I'm afraid we skipped the puppy stage and got a 10mo rescue (sorry, dont mean to sound smug, but having had puppies in the past I wasn't prepared to do it again!).

insan1tyscartching is that THE Eric?

WatcherOfTheNight · 25/01/2017 10:40

It will be worth the hard work Op,you will get there!
Just wanted to recommend putting a blanket or towel over the crate,it makes it more "den" like.
I left a gap at first then covered completely when pup settled.

Mine also had an antler in with them,something to chew on if waking up throughout the night can help if they are cutting their new teeth.

Original poster

fessmess · 25/01/2017 11:04

Butter wouldn't melt eh?

OP posts:

RhodaBull · 25/01/2017 11:05

Ah, yes, the crate cover. I went to charity shop and bought a lovely velvet door curtain. The ladies were much amused when I said it was for the dog!

My dog too was absolutely barmy on walks. Leaping at the lead and biting it, lying down and refusing to move, trying to take a bite out of passing pedestrians' clothes... And I have two frozen shoulders as a souvenir. On trainer's advice I went back to square one and walked up and down the middle of the road for one month. Just a few feet at a time, stopping if he so much as thought about pulling. It was tough. But worth it, as it had got to the point that I couldn't take him out at all.

madcatwoman61 · 25/01/2017 11:13

Have you tried Pet Remedy? It's a plug-in which helps calm them. It works on my cats (and also on me!), might be worth a go

Moppet5 · 25/01/2017 11:17

She is gorgeous!
She looks like my Cockerpoo who was an absolute nightmare when she was a puppy, just relentless, biting, jumping, barking. If the breeder had rang in the first few months and I asked if she could have her back I would have said yes.
It has all been worth it though, at 18 months she is now well behaved 90% of the time and has a very loving nature. Would not part with her for the world!

BiteyShark · 25/01/2017 11:21

Awww very cute

Mine when younger was also a bitey monster hence my user name but he suddenly stopped with a lot of the biting for no reason but very glad as I have chunks missing from my jeans and coats.

I tend to take him places off lead now to practice recall as fighting him on the lead when he would try and chew it was getting me down. Again with time it gets better

MsGameandWatch · 25/01/2017 11:32

About two weeks after I got my boy - 13 weeks, I remember looking at him and feeling utterly trapped and quite scared by how intense the feeling was. I felt like I had made the biggest mistake ever and I would say I was depressed and tearful for about a month over it. He was hugely bitey and stubborn and didn't seem to like us at all. He's almost seven months now and I wouldn't be without him, we've all attached to each other and I make excuses to go to places that he can come along as I hate being without him. It will come and you'll wonder how you ever managed without her.

Airfixkitwidow · 25/01/2017 11:41

It gets better. I promise. When our leonberger was 12 weeks I went out and left her with my husband. Got back to discover he'd rung the breeder and asked her to take the puppy back. We were so tired, sick of the mouthing and the chewing. We talked and agreed to share the work more (he'd been doing most of it as he wanted her) and we now have a 10 month old whom we are both growing to love. The mouthing and jumping up has stopped and we have an endless supply of buffalo horns for her to chew instead of the skirting board. She's still not easy and being a giant breed has made her ultra challenging but I'm so glad we didn't send her back. One to one training is brilliant to get confidence and then you can go to group training where you will find other people who are also tired and share your experiences. It really does get better.

BiteyShark · 25/01/2017 12:15

OP do you feel better knowing that lots of us have felt that way with our puppies at the beginning?

Count2three · 25/01/2017 12:28

Nothing to add but watching with interest as (was) planning on getting a cockerpoo pup...

nigelforgotthepassword · 25/01/2017 12:37

Another one here who nearly gave up between 6 and 8 months....in particular the toilet training has been testing and at 10 months we still aren't 100% with it but far better than it was.
We had crate trained successfully but over Christmas it all went to pot and we are now having to start again but as he now chews less than he did I think I'm just going to leave him free to roam the kitchen at night (with the crate door open for him to sleep in) and see how we go with that.
Its exhausting op-but worth it, I promise.
We just got back from a lovely misty walk and he is covered in mud but we both thoroughly enjoyed it.

Original poster

fessmess · 25/01/2017 12:45

Your messages have made me feel better, thanks. It seems so insignificant when I read my op back but I was feeling absolutely miserable and "trapped" hits the nail on the head. I couldn't give her up, would never forgive myself. I'm not condoning xmas puppies and how they often get rehomed, I'm surprised so many puppies are kept! We went into this with our eyes open and it's hell.

OP posts:

BiteyShark · 25/01/2017 12:53

Yes I did all the research you could imagine but the reality was so different and so much harder initially than I expected and can easily see why dogs get rehomed especially when families are battling with both toddlers and puppies at the same time.

CalmItKermitt · 25/01/2017 12:55

Join the FB group "Dog Training Advice and Support" and read the file on helping your puppy to sleep through the night.

It will tell you to absolutely NOT leave the puppy to cry. The admins on there are proper trainers and behaviourists and give excellent advice.

averylongtimeago · 25/01/2017 13:19

That FB group is excellent, there is lots of good advice!
Puppies are very hard work. I have had lots of dogs over the years and each time we get a new puppy I am surprised by how hard it is. 15 weeks is still a baby, and I promise it does get better.

I would absolutely recommend two things: the first being training. Look round locally for a training class one that uses positive training methods, not one that talks about pack theory. The class will train you, as much as the dog. I go to a dog club type, there are dogs of all ages, it is all about having fun with your dog.
The second thing is to involve all the family in training the dog, not just you. I know prizing teenaged away from their gadgets and rooms is difficult but I would take them with me to training class, so they could take part and also know how to treat the dog.

Good luck!

Mrsladybirdface · 25/01/2017 16:58

Aww she looks just like my pup who is 7 months....it gets so much easier. My puppy is good 95% of the time now and completely enriched our live both physically and mentally (though maybe not practically). Promise it gets better. Make sure she gets lots of off lead exercise and I'd get into a set routing of leaving the house for an hour or two and leaving pup with a nicEly filled Kong. My puppy now is impatient in the morning for us to leave so she can have her treat.

Routine really helps

Mrsladybirdface · 25/01/2017 17:06

Our pup sleeps on her bed in our room...since about 16 weeks after she started crying through the night. It's genuinely fine

Didiplanthis · 25/01/2017 17:14

This has just reinforced my decision not to replace our lab who died recently aged 13. However 13 years is not long enough to forget how utterly soul destroying she was as a puppy. She was expelled from puppy training too. After repeatedly swinging off the examiners fleece in the bronze award exam.....she was as truly awful as they come - I used to dread coming home from work as I had to spend time with her ( she went to work with OH ) and she came good eventually. Although she was always completely bonkers till the week before she died but in a good way.

Wolfiefan · 25/01/2017 17:16

That FB group is amazing. I even sent a PM to an admin who helped me.
It's so fucking hard. Pup is nearly 18 weeks. I was so tired I was floaty and near hallucinating. I spent three weeks sleeping on the floor in my clothes (on a mattress!)
I can't leave her. Like at all. Yesterday I actually managed to leave her for 15 minutes. That's after two months.
Thankfully she sleeps through the night in her crate now.
I bloody hope it gets easier!

SparklingRaspberry · 25/01/2017 17:19

Have you taken it to puppy classes?

A walk round the block every day is not enough! It needs new environments, new smells. It sounds like you never socialised her properly within the crucial weeks.

I have also just got a puppy and have had them before. It is hard, very very hard. But hard work pays off. Socialising pays off and so does proper training. Sit the rest of your family down and explain to them that unless they do their share and stick to the training with you then you'll look at rehoming (even if you don't actually look into it). It's a family pet not just yours and it's unfair on you and the puppy to do all the work.

HelsBels5000 · 25/01/2017 17:21

It definitely gets easier - hang in there everyone. Im sat on sofa with one cocker asleep alongside my leg and the other curled up opposite me in the chair asleep. They are 9 and 3 and we love them to bits. Little sods when they were pups though - it is as exhausting, if not more so, than having a newborn - and I've got 3 children!

sotiredbutworthit · 25/01/2017 17:21

This post could have been written about me a couple of months ago! I wouldn't be without the furry buggers now though! They still occasionally wee in the house, pull on the lead and their recall seems to have gone to pot but on the whole they are lovely! The are the hairy heartbeat of our home now!! It will improve!

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