Would you get a rescue dog if you have kids? or a rescue puppy?

[gingerhousecat]

Just looking for a bit of advice - starting to think about getting a dog and would love to get one from a rescue place but I have a two year old and almost five year old (also have two housecats) . Would it be best to try to get a puppy from a rescue centre rather than a dog? I haven't called any of my local ones yet but I do know some of them don't know the history of the dog as they have been strays which is why I'm wondering if it would be best to get a puppy if they have any available

No I wouldnt ( and didn't)
My dc were 7 and 11 when we got our dog and although I know there are many happy stories of rescue dogs intergrating happily into families with children it wasn't something I was comfortable with.
We tried the rescue puppy route but despite being an ideal home we didn't manage to get one that suited us and vice Versa so we went down the route of buying a puppy.
There have been some bumps n the road with our pup but at least he was mostly a clean slate to begin with.

When we got our pup at the Dogs Trust I overheard a pregnant, young single mum with a toddler being gently but firmly turned down for a dog. Because she was about to have a baby and trying to rehome a dog - I've no doubt she went straight to a less reputable rescue and rehomed from there (or Gumtree). But I'd recommend Dogs Trust as they ask good questions, do home checks (when they can) and if you get a pup, you get lfielong support from their behaviour expert who may well also know your dog as you can return for subsidised puppy classes...

Puppies are hard work, though. A settled older dog with a known temprement might be a better bet. Mine took 7 months to housetrain (all my previous dogs took a few days). It was nightmarish but we stuck with it because we love her. Also I wouldn't recommend a winter puppy - so cold having to stand around waiting for them to wee or leave the house door open!

I foster dogs on behalf of a rescue and I think that dogs homed this way are fine. When one of ours came to us she had never even met a child but with gentle introduction she is now devoted to mine! So devoted that we couldn't let her go but that's another story.

We also had a boy dog come to us whose family just couldn't give him the time they needed due to illness. He is 3 years old and a real sweetheart. Straight away he was fine with the kids and we never had any problems.

An older rescue dog is usually house trained, and having had a puppy and a 2 year old at the same time, this is a MASSIVE plus point!

I wouldn't OP. I have similar aged kids and we were massively pro rescue before getting our puppy but couldn't find a centre who would rehome to us so for that and other reasons we went down the breed route. We paid a lot for a pup that had been bred with health and temperament in mind. Sure enough she is a lovely little creature but at times with dd (just 3) an utter nightmare. When those days happen I am really glad we didn't get a dog with issues. Although saying that we will get a rescue dog but when the dc are older and dpup is properly trained and can lead the way!

Decent rescues are understandably reluctant to home a dog with a two year old in the house, but IMO it depends very much on you and your toddler whether it will work or not. How confident are you that your two year old will be respectful around the dog and will listen to instructions? How resilient will your child be to a dog/ puppy jumping up or nipping? I know one family who banished their dog to a life outside because he knocked over their toddler once :(

It's a difficult one, and not probably ideal. You could well be at the point where your dog needs to walk further than your two year old, but your two year old refuses to go in a buggy, for example - what do you do? Having a dog with poor recall, and a toddler in tow is also a bit of a nightmare scenario - you can't very well abandon the toddler to run after the dog..

I had two puppies when DC1 was around 18months. It was tough, and if I had my life to live again ( and hadn't been taking pups from an emergency situation ) I would have waited until the DC were a bit older.

Puppies aren't an entirely blank slate, temperament and behavioural traits both have a large genetic component. It's how we've been able to create breeds who are hard wired to have the appropriate drives for doing specific jobs. This is an excellent article about the genetic component of behaviour/temperament.

If you have very specific requirements for temperament (like having kids at home, especially young ones) then the safest bet is either an adult dog from a good rescue who has been in a foster home with children and proven themselves a good family dog or a puppy from a responsible breeder who gives appropriate consideration to temperament (along with health, conformation and inbreeding coefficients) when they breed.

Shukinskaya, not all rescue dogs have issues. Of course some have been badly treated and may have quite considerable issues, but it's improbable that any respectable rescue would place them with children. Many dogs come into rescue for any number of reasons. Our own ddog1 came into rescue at 12 months old because his owners had a baby and decided the minute the baby was born, the dog had to go. Others come into rescue due to changes in family circumstances. Sometimes people have to move out of their house for reasons beyond their control and can't take the dog with them, sometimes the dog is given up due to divorce or unavoidable changes in working pattern, sometimes people are unrealistic about how much work having a dog will entail, sometimes owners die, sometimes owners become ill. Not every rescue dog has been badly treated, some are much loved pets who came into rescue through no fault of their own, or their (loving) owners. In these cases, it must be absolutely heart-braking for the owners to have to make that decision to give up the dog and knowing they are going into a new home, where they will be loved and well-cared for must be a great comfort in these situations.

Also, not particularly aimed at any one individual here but, I thoroughly dislike the idea of getting a "new" puppy vs a "used" dog. It makes it sound like a decision as to which car to buy, not a decision regarding a living being with feelings which will become part of the family, not an accessory.

Please excuse all the typos and repetition in that post. I posted whilst doing other stuff and didn't check properly

Issues was maybe the wrong word to use, I suppose what I'm wary of is that, IMO, you never fully know the history of a rescue. PILs have lovely, 12 year old rescue, calm, relaxed around the dc, had from 6 months at all, no problems at all then one day ds was on the swing and dog went for him. MIL then remembers he doesn't like swinging feet, likely because of early experience. Similarly my friend adopted a Staffie that was about to be PTS (illegally kept in council flat). Yes from a loving home but she's spent the last 2 years teaching her 8 year old to read the dog's signals and also she can never let him off the lead as she's unsure of his reaction to other dogs (sometimes fine, sometimes not, dog dependent). For me, with young children, these were considerations.

Also sorry about my typos! Fwiw I do feel bad about not getting a rescue but for our current requirements it wouldn't haven't worked.

I would personally go for an adult dog , but as others said do your research .
I got a rescue dog when DD was 2 , didn't even meet him before collecting him in a shady like deal in a carpark 2 hours away at night ( wasn't actually shady at all , but not great rescue protocol ) .
He was just over a year old and the nicest natured animal you could ever meet . He was also very boisterous , being a young dog , when the children wanted to play in the garden , I couldn't let him out with them because he would go bonkers , hurtling around them and sending them flying , that was a bit of pain really . If one of the kids opened the door to come in for the loo or a drink , he would be out and they had to go for cover on the trampoline ! I would then spend 10 minutes trying to catch him , get him to come in , which of course was a massive game in his head .
He had a thing for soft toys and would dismember them in the garden while DD howled through the window at him , she only has one slightly nibbled soft toy from her childhood left ( although that might be a plus in some peoples eyes )
He had no recall when we first got him and little social skills when it came to other dogs , people hated us .
I will be honest and say I was a rubbish dog owner when I first got him , I had done no research , never even met a dog of his breed before , had no idea about how to train a dog or where to get help . I did get help and we ended up with the dog we deserved eventually , with a lot of effort and a fair few tears along the way .
When I say deserved , he was as good as the effort I put in

It might be worth seeing if their are any dog trainers/behaviourists in your local area who run socialisation classes . I think this would be a good way to get advice and meet other dogs and their owners , even if your dog appears perfect

Thanks again, given me lots to think about xx

Shukinskaya, I presume then that your friend's staffie was not adopted from a reputable no-kill rescue that does assessments prior to adoption, behavioural support should it be needed and an obligation to take the dog back at any time if necessary?

Not all rescue charities are created equal (and some "rescues" are actually council pounds), so in my opinion it's worth doing research into the reputability of the charity and the type of assessments they carry out and support they offer.

A rescue dog from a reputable charity with all the back-up and support they will offer (for the life-time of the dog) will often be a more known quantity than a puppy whose character still has to develop. As others have said, a pup is not an entirely blank slate due to genetics, but also due to how well the breeder has socialized the pup in those first few crucial weeks. Likewise issues such as fear aggression can develop in dogs you've owned from being a pup. A friend's dog developed fear aggression after being attacked by another dog in the park.. Has your friend sought advice from a behaviourist (or the charity) regarding how to help the dog with this?

Otoh, wrt teaching the 8 year old to read the dogs signals, have you not done this with your own dc around your dog? My dc were taught certain basic rules right from when we got ddog1. It's not just about teaching the dog how to be "safe" it's about teaching the children how to behave. No dog should be treated like a toy and children should be taught to read the dog and be respectful.

Of course, if you want a pet which is guaranteed no risk to dc, get a goldfish, not a dog of any description.

Good luck in making a choice, OP.

Rescue, I had a pedigree puppy that we did everything right and had to rehome due to aggression, he simply couldn't cope with a busy household. We now have a rescue lurcher, so gentle and loving and so much easier to live with and love

Morally, I think rescuing dogs is the right thing to do. But not if you have young children. I have a toddler and can't see me getting another rescue dog until she's at least in her teens. This could well mean I don't have a dog again until then. Her dad has the dog we shared and my wider family have dogs so I'm not worried about her lacking experience with them growing up. Just my circumstances dictate that I probably won't have one myself for a long while.

We once had two dogs, both technically reduces but the one my daughter's father now solely owns was born at the dogs home so isn't really a rescue in the true sense, was only 12 weeks old when we brought her home. The other was a puppy too, but older, 4/5 months and it turns out, inherently damaged by her poor start (likely a puppy mill, removed from mother too early, abanded). A beautiful,loving animal but very unpredictable. After an incident where she bit a neighbour she went to a friend's and they have now fully rehomed her. We were entirely the wrong family for her and it sadly took an incident which could have seen her put down for us to realise it. She's much calmer now, some 8 months on.

*recues not reduces

I'm afraid I would never get a dog unless it was a breed I felt comfortable with and still a puppy, born and raised in a happy family environment (with children) where I could see the mother and other puppies.

I got my dog before I had children and he is such a wonderful, wonderful dog. Obedient, kind and gentle and very well mannered. Some of that is because I have had him from a pup, but a lot is his breed and background which you can't fundamentally alter.

Totally agree with the poster who talks about teaching children to be safe around dogs. I am always surprised when children rush up to pat my dog and their parents do nothing - even the nicest dog can get a fright and snap. And not all dogs are nice.

I've worked for and been around a lot of dog breeders in my time as my dad sometimes went to dog shows and we knew a few people in that world. I would say that anyone who isn't actively showing dogs (and winning challenge certs with them) is, essentially a 'backstreet breeder' as they can only be breeding dogs to make money.

So they WILL tell you a puppy is 'bred for temperament' and they WILL tell you it has been around kids, etc etc. And in their heads they might well believe they have bred 'for temperament'. But I can tell you for a fact many of them don't know the dogs who are say, the grandsires of their dogs as they are not on the show circuit. They will use a stud dog for the red 'CH' on the pedigree. That dog could have a terrible temperament. But of course, his breeder would make no £s from stud fees, if s/he admitted this. And I have seen this with my own eyes.

We'd all like to believe it's more nurture than nature - but it simply isn't.

So I see people making blythe statements about their (backstreet) breeder being "very good" and "breeding for temperament" and I'm very cynical. A random puppy from a rescue has no less chance of turning into a nice natured and good with kids dog, than any dog from a breeder. Maybe it even has more of a chance of being a good family pet.

Just re-read this thread and thought that's a point worth making.

NoBetter I'm not sure of the details of my friend's rescue, he is a lovely dog it has to be said, and socialises well with two other dogs he sees regularly, but she is still cautious having had a previously dog aggressive rescue Staffie.

My own dc are very good around adult dogs in general. When PIL's dog when for ds it was entirely unprovoked. Our pup came from a home with children (who we did see and speak to btw on a number of occasions and were clearly used to handling and looking after the pups) but toddlers and puppies seem to be a whole different ball game.

I have to say I am finding your responses to me a little aggressive. OP asked for people's thoughts and experiences and I gave mine. And I'd also love to see all these rescues where puppies are available because when we looked (extensively) we saw none. A 12 month old dog is not a puppy, but an adolescent with established experiences.

Shukinskaya, I am sorry if you found my response to be aggressive. Completely unintentional, of course.

Maybe I misunderstood, whilst the OP mentioned a rescue puppy (btw, Galgos del Sol, have lots of puppies fwiw. I believe there's also a thread on here from a MNetter who is currently fostering lurcher pups for example) galgosdelsol.org/available-puppies/ she also seemed open to the idea of an adult rescue dog too.

I read a lot on Mumsnet about how people would "like a rescue but don't want a dog with issues", or "would like a rescue, but none will let me adopt with small children". Some of these perpetuate myths and in my (limited) experience of our three dogs, good rescues are very careful to ensure a good match between dog and home (because after all, it will cause more damage to the dog, ultimately to keep sending it back to rescue, or worse, have the dog being given away for free on gumtree or facebook to whatever fate that may lead to) and are even more careful to ensure the right match where children are involved. This can mean a long search for the right rescue dog if you have children, but better that than a poorly suited dog. At the end of the day, that dog is going to be part of your family's life for the next maybe 10-15 years or so, so there's no rush if it means eventually being matched with the right dog.

It therefore makes me very sad to see people dismissing rescues. Rightly or wrongly there always seems to be an underlying implication that parents who combine rescue dogs with children must be irresponsible.

There are many puppies in rescue, and so many born in rescue, but yes, competition to get them is fierce. If you have young kids the onus is really on you to prove to the rescue that you have thought it through, that you have thought of the worst case scenarios involving dogs and kids, that you are committed to training ( dogs and kids ! ).

I have fostered pups under six months and four of those came to me at eight or 10 weeks old. Some of my foster dogs and pups have been rehomed with young children., it does happen.

I have also seen threads on here saying things like " my two year can't be expected to understand not to pull the dog's tail " - if this is the case then you are not a suitable household for a dog, certainly until your kids are much older.

We were waiting for a puppy to come up from our rescue for about 5 weeks which, they told me, was their longest ever 'puppy drought'. Then something happened because our dog's litter came in - 7 pups - very soon followed by several other large litters (including one entire litter of black labs some backstreet breeder couldn't flog off to the unsuspecting).

We were on a waiting list specifically for a puppy - despite having gone there intending to adopt an adult dog (they wouldn't let us as we had an elderly cat).

In the end, we got our pup in 5 weeks, from the first visit, and the rescue were of course, right - a grown up dog would always have been worrying around an old, slow cat unless it had been fostered in a family with a cat.

Puppies come up all the time. Once we were accepted on the list, it was a case of 'first come first served' so we rang up every day to ask if any pups had come in. Eventually, we were told this litter of 8 week old staffy/JRT crosses were in and if we wanted one, to get down there and choose, the next day. (They worm/flea/etc pups before releasing them for adoption, so the pups were there but not viewable for a few days).

We raced there the next morning, and 3 or 4 pups were still available. We had wanted a staffy or staffy cross, so we reserved the one we liked the look of, the most (A very pretty little female, with an eye patch).

Once you are on the list, and approved, you can go for every litter that come up, in theory. It truly wasn't that hard but we feel lucky anyway.