Dogs and depression - struggling with new puppy

[TheWildRumpyPumpus]

Please could I ask for some advice/guidance/reassurance?

We brought our golden retriever puppy home last week after planning extensively, finding good breeder, waiting for the pups, getting all the equipment, reading the recommended books. I guess I'm trying to make it clear that we didn't go into this lightly!

He's very cute, typical puppy behaviour (biting, occasional accidents although clean at night straight away).

The problem is that my thoroughly treated and managed depression has reared it's head for the first time in years since he arrived. I have been medication free for a long time but am eyeing my anxiety/depression tablets in the hope of getting through the next few months.

I suffered terribly with PND, was hospitalised for months. I was worried that the responsibility of having a puppy would be so similar to a baby that I even discussed it with a therapist, the breeder and my GP in passing. All reassured me that pet ownership has only positive affects on depression. I really wonder whether PND should be looked at differently - I feel zero bond to him, would gladly give him back if it weren't for the judgement I'll get from friend/family.

This is our first dog but I grew up taking care of a menagerie of animals and we've dog-sat for friends. I guess it's different when it's your own and never-ending.

DH says we have 3 options - I start taking my meds again, we give him back to breeder or we just struggle through as we are.

I really don't know what to do. Sorry for the length of this post but can anyone offer words of wisdom?

[Dieu]

I strongly believe it will get better. I will never forget the day I brought our pup home (singlehanded, as lone parent); I felt sick with nerves and anxiety (and I too am prone to a bit of depression and anxiety). For me, it was too similar to the feeling of bringing home a newborn for the first time. A bit scary and with the feeling that your world is never going to be the same again! What didn't help was his slowness to toilet train (8 months!) and separation anxiety.
However, we have now had him for a year, and I can't imagine life without him. Love him loads. Not bad for someone who only got him for the kids! We're crazy about each other!
So I say hang in there! I'm pretty sure it's the newness and unfamiliarity that's making you feel this way initially.
Good luck.

[BagelGoesWalking]

How are you doing, WildRumpy? How was the weekend?

[DotDash2020]

I was wondering what decision you came to over this, as I am in exactly the same situation now.

[Benny739]

DotDash2020 this is a zombie thread. Start your own and I’m sure you’ll get a tonne of advice. Puppy blues are very real!

[Carrcarrcarr]

Hi there, I don't know whether you'll see this but I was searching the Internet for someone feeling the same as I am now and I found your post! I could have written this myself - it's exactly the situation I find myself in now. I'm intrigued... Did you end up keeping the puppy? How are you now? I'd love some advice from someone who's been through it and is (I hope) out the other side. X

[Jinnybean]

We bought our girl home two weeks ago. The day we went to pick her up my dad was rushed to hospital, he died 11 days ago. It’s been so hard. Especially the sleepless nights. But I take her for a walk in the morning (which I really enjoy snd it makes me escape into my mind) snd then she naps for a good 2/3 hours so I go bed. We then train/play/nap/eat all afternoon and I take her for another walk around 5/6. It’s so hard. Especially when I can’t even brush my hair sometimes.

[FeFiFoFum1]

@TheWildRumpyPumpus I know this was a long time ago. I found your post and it is as if I could have written every word you’ve said myself. I just wondered how you got on? We are at a bit of a crisis point and have contacted a rehoming organisation today to get the ball rolling. We have a cockerpoo and she is just too much for me. I have come to release my home is a haven and she has introduced so much chaos. After PND o have worked so hard at understanding my triggers but never once anticipated a puppy would reignite my feelings of PND the way it has. Xx

[mynameisnotmichaelcaine]

I absolutely love my puppy but she has made me very anxious. I worry that she's not happy / whenever she barks / that she'll suddenly snap / that she'll run away and not recall to me. I think it's the responsibility. I left her for a couple of hours today, and struggled to eat my lunch. She was fast asleep when I got home, and perfectly happy.

The feelings are easing now (she is 8 months.) I lost a stone when I first got her with the anxiety of it.

I love her so much though. The walks are wonderful. And I can only see it getting better. Training sessions are a really good way of feeling a bit more in control.