NC as very identifiable situation that I'm seeking advice on from various sources. Firstly, I am very afraid of dogs. I can't help it, it comes from childhood experiences. I don't mind being around dogs on leads but I am terrified of them loose. I rarely have to encounter this so up til now, it hasn't been an issue.
However, my neighbours recently acquired a dog. A couple of months ago he was a tiny puppy and I didn't mind him. However, it's a pitbull and has very quickly become big and intimidating to look at (to me, someone already scared of dogs).
They don't seem to take it on walks; they let it out into the garden throughout the day. There is no division between our gardens, just a path running down the middle.
When I realised the dog was pooing on our lawn - several big piles on one morning - I was fuming but politely went over and mentioned it. They were apologetic, cleared it up and mowed our lawn. I don't think they saw why I didn't want it in the garden at all, even if they cleared up the poo but they offered to put a fence up and to keep the dog on their walled patio until the fence is up. I was happy with this. Everything was civil and friendly. I didn't see any more poo on the lawn, though a ball belonging to my son that was left out has been bitten and deflated so it's possible the dog has been back in the garden or maybe it was something else.
This morning, I took my 2 year old out to play and the dog came out onto the patio. No sign of the owners. It jumped up with its front paws on the patio wall and was watching us intently - probably friendly, but I am worried it thinks of the whole garden as its territory as it has had free reign to run over our lawn up until I asked them to stop it. Anyway, I don't have a rational reaction to dogs, my heart was pounding and I was shaking with fear. I'm pretty certain it can jump over the wall. I took my son back in the house quickly and called out to the owner. A few minutes later, she pounded on the door demanding to know what had happened. I said nothing had happened but I was worried the dog would jump the wall so had come back inside and asked if she'd shut the dog in for a few minutes so I could go back out to get my toddler's toy (ironically, a toy dog which he loves). She argued that the dog wouldn't jump the wall - she said he could but he won't. I said I was sorry but I just don't trust it. She snapped at me to call the authorities then and stormed back into her house slamming the door.
Up until now everything has been friendly and whilst I explained that dogs make me nervous, I haven't expressed any anger - though, I'm actually raging that they would let their dog have the run of our garden and to use it as a toilet even if they were happy to pick up after it. I can only think that she took great offence when I said I don't trust the dog. But I have two young children, limited experience of dogs and I have no idea how they are training this one so why would I trust it?
I was really upset this morning, both from the panic I felt on seeing the dog and thinking it was going to jump and from the unpleasant shift in her attitude. Her husband is a verbally aggressive, shouty man - I have previously witnessed eight police officers restraining him outside our house one Sunday afternoon. These are not people I want to antagonise.
But, I can't use my own garden. I don't trust them to restrain the dog adequately. They have been promising the fence every weekend; supposedly it will go up next weekend but I'm worried that it will only run either side of a hedge which I doubt is high enough to keep the dog behind. I'll probably never be able to relax with a dog so close but if I felt the fence and hedge were high enough, I could take my kids out with the rational knowledge it was safe.
Right now, with no fence I can't go into the garden at all. My 5yo has chicken pox so we are confined to the house completely. I'm keen to sell later this year so don't especially want this to escalate into a dispute. I just want them to make sure that the dog cannot access our garden and I think that's fair.
So, as people experienced with dogs, would you be offended by my attitude towards the dog? Does anyone have any advice about how I can resolve this?
(Yes, I know I could get help with my fear of dogs but I'm not in a position to pay for any sort of therapy and it doesn't have an impact on my life usually - until now, when a pitbull is sharing my garden!)