I think we're losing him

[LetThereBeCupcakes]

DDog is 6. It looks like cancer.

I can't stop crying. Our other dog is a rescue and relies on him for everything. She is lost. Our 2 year old doesn't understand but wants to know where he is (currently at vets).

DH and Ddog had their first year at agility this year. They were winning places, even beating collies. How can this be happening? He was fine on Tuesday. Absolutely fine.

What do I tell DS? What do I do with my other dog?

Sorry. I can't think straight.

I am so sorry to all of you who have been through this. I wouldn't wish this heartbreak on anyone.

We are sleeping on a mattress in the living room for now. Easier to let him out in the night and we don't have to worry about him on the stairs.

He seems much more like his old self today, I think a good night's sleep has done him good. Hoping to take him to his favourite dog Park today.

Still here if you need us Cupcakes. Hope you have a lovely day with him today.

Have a lovely day with him Cupcakes.

I'm so sorry cupcakes. It is heart breaking.

I lost my 6 yr old DDog to lymphoma in August, after being diagnosed in May. she had an aggressive T cell and I took the decision to use only fairly non invasive chemo, limoustine plus steroids to pep her up. In the short term it made a massive difference and she was very jolly. I fed her on chopped ham and beef mince as the swelling in her glands made it difficult for her to eat biscuits. We had a good summer, but she went downhill at the end of August and I had made a promise that I would have her PTS the day she couldn't eat anymore.

I kept my promise to her and in late August we had a walk in the sun, sat in the field for a cuddle, then had a last drive out in the car with her head stuck out of the window and ears flapping, to the vets.

You can only do what is right, give your DDog lots of love and fuss whilst you can and then help them on their way. Thinking of you

So sorry to read this. Thoughts are with you.

Thinking of you and sending you love and strength

elasta I'm so sorry that you have also been through this. You had over 3 months with her? I am hoping we can have DDog with us that long, too. We decided against chemo and I'm questioning our decision on that now. Although the vet said it wouldn't give him very much longer than the steroid / pain killer combo anyway.

We are learning how to managed DDog's condition at the moment. Yesterday he was very bouncy so we took him out a couple of times but he was exhausted by the evening (despite being fine whilst out). We had a few people come to visit him too which meant he didn't get to sleep much. Our mistake, we know now. He managed to go all night without needing to go out for a wee, which is good going.

DH is already talking about getting another. I know he's right and it will be best for DDog 2 as she doesn't do well alone. It's hard to consider right now though.

absolutely the right decision re the chemo. It only ever buys them time and not that much of it in the grand scheme of things. Steroids will help and painkillers too.

We couldn't do that for our dog as his heart condition would not have tolerated the steroids. We had about six weeks post diagnosis but he died from his heart condition so would have died anyway.

no way would i have put him through chemo and as your dog is already poorly not doing that is by far the best decision.

Cherish your time together and expect ups and downs. You'll know when the time comes but for now , just spoil him

Ours was 14 and would've needed x-rays, scans and amputation of his front leg at the very least, we trusted hugely the vet who gave us the diagnosis and decided pretty quickly to do nothing more than manage his pain. It was a hard decision but I still believe it was the right one for him. We spoiled him rotten in his last few days, we took him to his favourite forest walk and let him paddle in his favourite river, when he grew too tired to walk DH carried him back to the car. That weekend still breaks my heart yet makes me smile in equal measure.

Because of his love, kindness and wisdom we now have two young rescue dogs. Our collie has lived with us since she was an 8 week old puppy but our spaniel had a tough start, he was abandoned and lived in several different places before he came to us. In the last couple of weeks he has gone from a dog who didn't think he belonged to an absolute delight of a little dog who loves life and is quite possibly the happiest dog I have ever met. I believe the spaniel's happiness today is our Lab's legacy.

I too believe you have done the right thing in saying no to chemo, I hope you have some wonderful days together Cupcakes, we are here to listen whenever you need an ear or a shoulder .

Hi all,
I hope people don’t mind me carrying on posting. It helps a little.
Murphy didn’t have quite such a good night last night, he needed to go out twice. He also wasn’t keen to come upstairs at bedtime which I’ve got in my head is because the pain’s getting worse. Keep trying to remind myself that sometimes he sleeps downstairs anyway. Feeling quite anxious today, I have to be in work for a few hours and I’m worried about him. He was fine when I left though.
Vets are being brilliant with sorting out repeat prescriptions for him and stuff.
I’m grateful we have these extra few days / weeks with him but crikey it’s hard being in limbo like this.
hell Murphy has already created his legacy in the form of our second dog – a rescue who came to us completely broken. Murphy taught her how to be a dog again and it’s down to him that she is so happy now. She will be lost without him.

Keep posting, the limbo is so hard. Murphy sounds like a wonderful dog.

Murphy sounds like a really special dog. You will be lost without him but your lives will be ever brighter for sharing them with him.

The steroids will make him piddle more so this is to be expected. I think its an ok pay off but of course it does make it more difficult in the night. Could you possibly leave the door open for him? or alternatively lay some paper/puppy pads and let him know it is ok if he has accidents somehow.

What sort of dog is Murphy? I don't know if you have said?

He is a black labrador. I will upload a picture later.

He gets very distressed if he has an accident, always has. I don't know why as we've never punished him. He just likes to be clean. DH and I are taking it in turns so it's Ok.

That will be lovely, i love labradors - ive worked with dogs for many years on and off and labradors are just so friendly and sensitive to their human friends. And of course they eat EVERYTHING

Our new boy is a black lab. I just couldn't face another spaniel just yet and my parents always had labs so it seemed the next best choice. He's so lovely. Think we struck lucky again. Hope you're all ok.

Just wanted to say how sorry I am

Murphy sounds like a very special dog and you sound wonderful owners. Sleeping on a mattress to be there for him brought a lump to my throat.

I hope that you are all OK it's an awful time for you right now and I hope in time that you can find comfort in the wonderful memories you made and in his legacy to your other dog. He sounds amazing

Feel like I've hit a bit of a wall today.

Yesterday was awful, had to work in the morning and I couldn't shake the feeling that Murphy would be gone when I got home. Gave my self a splitting headache not helped by a run in with somebody at work (he was in the wrong and was disciplined - I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time I think) and ended up leaving early. He was fine thank God.

Today I've just not been able to motivate myself. DS has basically watched TV all day, with a bit of duplo thrown in. Been shivering with cold even though everybody around me says it's plenty warm enough.

I don't know what to do. Sometimes I find myself grieving, then feel bad because he's not gone. Other times I find myself chatting with somebody like everything's fine and then I feel guilty. It's like he's a ghost.

DH was struggling yesterday as they should have been at their agility class.

I'm taking both dogs to their obedience class tonight. Murphy seems fine at the moment so I'm hoping he'll be OK for it.

My thoughts are all over the place. How did others manage this bit?

He is sooooooo handsome!!!

You just have to take it one day at a time. Its all you can do. You must ensure he has adequate pain relief, is eating and comfortable.

Going to be a bit blunt now :

Why did you think he would be gone before you came home? That doesn't fit with him being well enough for his obedience classes.

Just giving you a virtual shake up. You will know if he deterioates. It is very very unlikely to be sudden i promise you will know when it's time to be kind.

ive worked in a vets for many years and have been through this too.

Dogs are really sensitive to our emotions so you have to be strong for him now. Let him do his classes for as long as he is able and spoil him rotten. He will pick up on your anxiety so now is the time to be strong, make some memories and make his time happy. Do it for him and do it for you.

easy for me to say i know but you can't go on like this. You have him for a while yet so treasure him.

Now I'll stop being a cow and send you a huge hug for strength. Im having a little cry on your behalf so you aren't allowed any more tears today.

I really don't know why I got so worked up yesterday. There was no reason. I came off anti depressants for PND in may do probably feeling a bit fragile.

I know I need to pull myself together and I can't wallow for what could be weeks.

Tis hard.

It is hard but we're here for chat and sympathy.

This is my old boy Barney. A brilliant dog. Miss him every day. And my new boy, Monty. Eight months. All legs and goofy affection. Good as gold though. Wish they could have met.

adora they are both gorgeous.

Training went well though Murphy was ridiculously over excited.

Chilled out day today, mum coming over so I'm hoping she can take DS out so I can have a snooze on the sofa with the dogs.

Murphy is one seriously handsome dog. I'm so sorry you're struggling OP, but LEM talked sense above. I hope you manage to adjust to the changes and enjoy the time you have with him.

adora your pooches are pretty lush too. I do love a lab.

Just thought I'd pop back with a quick update.

Murphy is doing pretty well, the medication seems to be doing it's job. DH arranged to meet some friends with dogs so he could take DDog 2 out for a decent walk, but Murphy was so excited he took him anyway. He bounced around like a lunatic for MILES. Hard to believe how ill he is, the way he's acting.

DDog 2 either knows something's up, or is just picking up on our stress and is just not herself. She's become very cuddly (as in - on our laps on the sofa), and is afraid of the dark. She wouldn't come up the stairs last night until DH went down with a torch. . I'm wondering about getting one of those adaptil plug-ins. Has anybody used them.

We have also made some very tentative enquiries with a retriever rescue near us. We don't want another dog whilst Murphy is still with us but I think we probably won't leave it long after he's gone - DDog 2 will need the company and actually I think DH is really struggling with not doing agility. Hopefully we can get homechecks etc sorted so we're ready.

Glad to hear he's enjoying himself. Perhaps things won't be as bad as you think and the meds will keep him comfortable for a while. I used an adaptil plug in when we first brought Monty home to try and settle him in his crate. Not sure if it worked or not to be honest as we don't know what he was like otherwise. Worth a try though, they are supposed to be good.

Just got back from the vets with my 6 month old lab- was a check up. I can't imagine going through what you are. It's like opposite ends of the spectrum. Massive hugs