I am dog-sitting for a week: a beautiful cocker spaniel called Chester.
He began the day by crapping in the garden (fine) and then eating it (vom!)
He then barked continuously until I took him for a walk, where he continued to bark at every opportunity.
He then rolled in deer shit...got up, looked me square in the eye and....rolled in it again. He smelt like death, death which got up and rolled in deer shit.
He continued to bark all the way home and throughout his entire hosing down shower in the garden.
An hour late my entire house smelt of deer shit. So he had a proper bath, with proper girly shampoo. He jumped out of the bath, naturally, and spatterd every wall between bathroom and kitchen.
I had to go and buy an emergency collar as his original, real leather one, is covered in crap and won't come clean in the sink.
Whilst in the shop, I found myself buying him a ball, some chews, some small biscuits for walks.
He is now lying on my lap snoring. I bloody love him!