My parents want to get a staffy, should I tell them no?

[StarsInTheNightSky]

I don't have a huge amount of experience with the breed so I'm hoping that before I tell them no some of you could advise me please.

Background, DH and I own and live on a ranch in extremely remote South America. My parents have decided that they want to come out and live with us. We live in the main ranch house with our toddler DS, our housekeeper and her six year old daughter. The hands, foreman and their families all have houses (which we own) dotted around the main house, walking distance but not too close. We are renovating and extending one of the vacant houses for my parents, it's about half a mile away from the main house.

We have three giant breed, extremely protective and extremely dog aggressive rescue dogs (two Caucasian Ovcharkas and one Fila Brasiliero). They protect us and guard the ranch (lots of predators, including human ones where we live) and they are our adored family pets. We now have one other dog on the ranch, an orphaned stray pup taken in by one of the hand's children. We fenced off an acre of garden for them, and the rules are that the dog has to be leashed at all times when outside this area and that it is never allowed in the main house or our formal garden (DS' play area). My dogs have been taught to tolerate the dog on its leash on this basis.

My parents want to adopt a rescue dog from their local shelter in the UK before moving abroad, so we thought we could so the same with them, fenced acre, on leash at all other times, not in the main house or garden. This is apparently horrendously unfair to them and their dog (but that's a side issue).
They want to get either a staffy or a labrador, preferably a staffy. My question is, if they found one with the right temperament, would a staffy be capable of being very submissive and meek around my dogs, or would it try and play and be boisterous? My parents have said that what if their dog just got off the leash sometimes .
The only way my dogs would tolerate another dog is if it is grovelling and meek around them, or if it stays away from them, DH, DS and I completely, hence why I thought a rescue dog from our country would be a better bet as they tend to be better at that.

Any advice on the breed and temperament would be much appreciated, sorry for the long post, didn't want to drop feed.

Thanks too lilac, it can be tough at times, five hours drive to the nearest tiny town, and I have cancer so not great for hospitals (light aircraft flight) but the peace and way of life are wonderful, if hard work.

It sounds amazing, do you have a blog or anything?

About dogs knowing how you feel about people, this is definitely something I get from my dog. Luckily I get on really well with my mum and she adores her. Mum always says she is her Grandog.

I have read many of your posts Stars and am fascinated by the life you describe.

I also think you should write a blog and/or autobiography. I'd read/buy it

I'd also like to hear more about your dog training methods.

I have googled your bears dogs before they are impressive beast

Another one here who wants to hear more about life on the ranch!!
Quite aside from any other practicalities why get a dog in the UK and drag it half way around the world? It's nuts
From what you say OP are you sure you want your parents to live with you ?

It is nuts and tbh i dont think rescue centres would be keen on a newly adopted dog flown half way round the world either

I just googled your dogs. Your parents are, um, barking mad.

It does sound though like this is symptomatic of other difficulties in the relationship. Why are they proposing to move out to live with you in the middle of absolutely blimming nowhere if they don't get on well with you? They sound like quite silly people generally

Tbh having your parents live with you sounds like more stress than you need. Is there no way you can fall out of something so they don't come?

*or

Say no and if they don't like it,they can stay in the u.k.

They do sound like they do whatever they want,I personally wouldn't want them living by me

To be fair, if the OP has a huge ranch with hundreds of acres and three massive beasts who hate them, I suspect seeing her parents will be very much on her own terms . I would still say no though (I would be quite happy to keep my pets to my own compound, you wouldn't even know I was there!)

Just googled the breeds of your dogs too. They are enormous! I know what you mean about dogs picking up on your feelings for others. Mine do too. One actively growls if I do not like someone, the other completely ignores them.

Say no, apart from anything else if they are selling their house and moving lock, stock and barrel to another continent the last thing they need is the added stress of an animal making the move with them. It would also be immensely stressful for the dog, it's stressful enough moving from the rescue to a new home without long-haul flights too.

I'm a little worried that your parents 'told' you they were coming to live with you and you just meekly started renovating a house for them. Was there any discussion and did they listen to your views at all? Before the come might be a good time to start asserting your boundaries, and the dog thing is a good an issue as anything to take a stance on. You need to be firm that it is your ranch and you own the house they will be living in so they are not free to do as they like. Your ranch, your rules.

Don't feel guilty if you and they have a massive argument about it, think of it as giving them a reality check. I suspect that the life on your ranch won't be exactly what they think it's going to be, and they will probably blame you for any disappointment. So it's far better for them to realise it's not going to be a fairytale before they leave their home country in case they need to reassess what they want to do.

If they decide not to move after all, can I have their house please? Pretty please?

Absolutely put your foot down, if you really can't stop them moving uninvited onto your property at least tell them absolutely no dog! Completely unfair and ridiculous of them.

Thanks all, nope, no blog I'm afraid, I am actually quite a private person (I share more on here than I ever do in rl), and most of the day to day ranch stuff is pretty mundane, we have had some amazing adventures and we still do have, its heaven for us.

Mrsjayy, I did think that, I wouldn't be happy to place a dog in such circumstances if I ran a shelter.

I have said no to them living with us, I have told them no repeatedly and firmly, much like I said no to their last visit only to find them on our doorstep having hitched a lift out to the ranch with the priest. Grrrrrr. Renovating the house is self preservation, if they just arrive regardless (highly likely) it means we have somewhere for them to go rather than in our main house.
If, hopefully, they rustle up some common sense and don't come, we'll give the house to the foreman as its bigger than his current one.

I'm actually at my wits end with it, I'm very ill, cancer isn't responding to surgery or treatment, my blood pressure is through the roof, I'm hugely underweight but I can't think of any way of physically stopping them, any ideas very much appreciated as DH has also told them no and is at his wits ends too. They just laugh and say "oh it'll be fun" no it bloody well won't!!!!!. Sorry about the rant

BitterChocolate, of course you can

Pumpkins, yep, that was pretty much the way it was last time they visited, and now we have ddog3 (the Fila) too

Ahh yes, I forgot about the best bit - my parents hate and absolutely disapprove of meat production and the consumption of alcohol (the devils own drink apparently) Our ranch is beef cattle, some horses for training/breeding and a vineyard.

fucking hell, what would you do if one of your extremely aggressive, banned in many countries giant dogs actually did kill someone. You mentioned human predators?

They hitched a ride with the priest omg you couldnt make that up they sound bonkers

Just say you will not be welcome on our property please do not come

You sound amazing op and your family are frankly a little loopy. I'm not sure that's particularly helpful though!

I totally understand the parents with no boundaries issue (mine are the same) best strategy I have come up to deal with unreasonable requests (for my mental health mostly) is to repeat no calmly like a broken record and don't engage at all in reasoning.

You sound amazing op and so sorry to hear that you are so ill .

The dog would be the least of my worries I think, the parents arriving unannounced would be enough to raise anyone's blood pressure oh god that's just so unreasonable!

Bringing a rescue dog is just totally insane, beyond insane.

Erm, who are they going to be friends with? They don't get on with you and you are 5 hours from the nearest town.

They aren't likely to make friends with the hands if they think their jobs are beyond the pale.

Do they even speak the language?

And if they just turn up anyway tell them 'we discussed this the answer is no and tell them to leave (three massive dogs in the background is a distinct advantage with this!)

Branleuse it wouldn't be a problem where we live, we are allowed to defend against trespassers with lethal force if necessary (dogs and guns permitted). Yes, there are some gangs who sort of roam, they pick on the women left on the ranches whilst the husband's are out on the land, part of the reason we have three huge aggressive dogs is because I don't want to have to carry a gun everywhere. Our dogs would never attack anyone on the ranch without exceptionally good reason (ddog1 attacked and pinned on of the hands a couple of months ago, with very good reason) and they are trained to pin and then alert me, they wouldn't kill a human without my instruction unless I was about to be killed myself. As I said, thinks are very different out here, the nearest police are five hours drive away.

Mrsjayy, it is like something out of a soap opera sometimes, the'd managed to convince the poor man that we would love the surprise!!!

Thank you Catz, it is pretty challenging isn't it?