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The doghouse

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Original poster

MN seems to be very anti-dog....

115 replies

roslyndee · 29/04/2015 10:26

....just been told I should lock my dog away or tie her up if someone comes to my house who doesn't like/is scared of dogs!

Do any of you do this?

OP posts:
Koalafications · 29/04/2015 11:49

The guest by definition is only there a little while. And surely if you value someone's friendship, then you put up with (what we might consider to be) their idiosyncracies?

Surely, it's good manners to not tell someone what to do in their own home, though.

I would be pretty Hmm if someone told me to lock my dog out of the room. I wouldn't do it and it would be the last time they came to my home.

However, my opinion may be clouded as my dog isn't going to be going anywhere near the guest anyway, so it would seem completket unreasonable to me. And I can guarantee that she is more afraid of them than they are of her.

tabulahrasa · 29/04/2015 11:51

Somebody coming to work on something in your house is different - I'd keep dogs, cats, children out of their way so they can get on with their job uninterrupted.

BlueKarou · 29/04/2015 11:52

I would class that under being for my dog's safety - if workmen are coming and going then there would be a risk of his getting out/getting trodden on/tripping someone over.

There's definitely a difference between workmen and guests. It's guests where I wouldn't be quite so accommodating - but I would expect them to expect that; most people who are likely to come round on a friendly visit already know my dog.

Pootles2010 · 29/04/2015 11:54

I agree with you, Koala, that it would be rude to ask - but it would be rude to ask for a drink, or something to eat. As a host I would just offer those things, and if i could see a guest was uncomfortable with an animal, I'd take the animal out of the room.

The point about animal being more scared of the guest is by the by - phobias aren't logical. Just look at the number of people scared of little spiders!

Original poster
roslyndee · 29/04/2015 11:57

yes workmen is different as they could trip over etc etc

tbh I don't really have this issue as most of my friends love dogs, but I would be outraged if someone said to me 'please tie your dog up as I don't like dogs'.

If someone was frightened that is a different story (still wouldn't tie my cav up I'm afraid).

OP posts:
Original poster
roslyndee · 29/04/2015 11:58

also there is a difference between having a full blown phobia and just being a bit wary because you haven't been around dogs before.

OP posts:
Koalafications · 29/04/2015 12:00

but it would be rude to ask for a drink, or something to eat.

No, I don't think that's rude. Telling me/asking me to modify my home (move my dog) would be rude.

Thank goodness this isn't a problem for me. All my friends love dogs and I don't need any more friends so not too interested in someone who doesn't like them.

BeCool · 29/04/2015 12:01

I'm very anti dog shit in parks, on footpaths etc and by association irresponsible dog owners. There are many of them round here.

Great you love dogs. Not everyone wants strange dogs slobbering on them, bouncing on them, getting in their young DC's faces ESP when off lead, and crapping all over limited inner city green spaces.

Our small local park is claimed as a dog toilet by local dog owners. People, children be damned. This does piss me off immensely.

Of course every single dog owner you talk to picks up. Strange how there is so much shit around then

Koalafications · 29/04/2015 12:02
Hmm

BeCool th thread is about dogs being locked away in someone's home.

Original poster
roslyndee · 29/04/2015 12:03

BeCool I wasn't arguing with your right to dislike dogs, I was arguing that it wasn't ok for someone to ask me to shut away my dog in my own home on the grounds that they don't like them. It's not like I'm coming over to your house to let my dog shit in your garden and slobber all over your children!

OP posts:
Pootles2010 · 29/04/2015 12:06

Koala when I was phobic I wouldn't have asked, I just wouldn't have gone round. I'm saying if i knew someone was phobic, I'd probably remove the dog without being asked.

eeniemeeniemineymo · 29/04/2015 12:08

I have a complete phobia of dogs as well. Was attacked by giant poodle belonging to NDN as a small child. The fear has never left me. I can't even watch Crufts on telly without losing it frankly. Dogs Trust advert comes on I have to mute it as it sets my teeth on edge.

So, to answer your OP, I would not go to a house where there was a dog and expect the owner to accommodate me. I will quite happily, and prefer it, to talk to them on the doorstep.

Just re-read my post, I sound a right wimp!

schlong · 29/04/2015 12:09

Fwiw since having kids I actively dislike flea bags as we seem to be competing for public space and the hounds seem to be winning. Why don't we put kids on leads so the dogs can run around crapping everywhere. My Ds has had dog shit on his face,been growled at and generally had his parklife ruined by mangey mutts.

sherbetpips · 29/04/2015 12:15

As long as someone tells me in advance and recognises that they have a jumping up sort of dog its fine, I certainly would not expect it to be locked away. If however they are the jumping up barking/yapping type that can be very unpleasant for anyone scare of dogs so it is surely just polite to put them in another room?

Koalafications · 29/04/2015 12:16

If someone has a phobia of dogs then I would meet up with them for coffee etc outside of my home. I wouldnt lock my dog away because they have a phobia.

I have severe arachnophobia and I can honestly say that I wouldn't even consider going to someone's house if I knew they had one of those things.

Koalafications · 29/04/2015 12:17

'Flea bags'
'Mangey mutts'

[yawn]

Original poster
roslyndee · 29/04/2015 12:18

sherbert as has been said upthread, I am unable to lock my cav in another room as she has separation anxiety and heart issues and would get upset.

I would shut my rottie outside as he is super friendly and slobbery and I recognise many people don't enjoy his affections.

schlong that's a pretty horrible comment tbh, way to generalise all dog owners!

I have four children alongside my dogs BTW, and they all love playing together!!!

OP posts:
DrewOB · 29/04/2015 12:22

eeniemeeniemineymo
Biscuit
this thread as unnerved me a bit and I've been weeping at the memory of being terrified at dog in national trust property.
I don't think dog lovers realise how crippling dog phobia is.
I probably should see a therapist :S

tomatodizzymum · 29/04/2015 12:23

My son is terrified of dogs. Not so bad now but he's wary. People we know with big dogs, and even my SIL's Yorkie has to be put away sometimes because he gets frightened. We have a lazy, sloppy, amazing labradorable but he will absolutely get put in the back, or in the laundry room if someone comes that's scared of dogs. As sad as that is, I would not want a guest to feel frightened or upset in my house. I'm not anti-dogs at all.

Original poster
roslyndee · 29/04/2015 12:32

Drew sorry to hear you are having a hard time Flowers

It must be hard for you especially as dogs are everywhere!

I too was attacked as a child and I do remember feeling terrified, it was having the dogs around me that got me over it but I know this doesn't work for everyone.

My OP was really more aimed at those who don't like dogs/think they're unhygenic rather than those with bad allergies or who are genuinely terrified.

I would still not be able to lock my cav away due to her health issues.

OP posts:
basildonbond · 29/04/2015 12:36

if I or one of my dc had a dog phobia I'd put dealing with it at the top of my to-do list - it must be absolutely crippling to have a genuine phobia of dogs and life would be so much easier if you could just see dogs as part of everyday existence - no-one's saying you actively have to like them but if your activities are being curbed by the possibility of dogs being around then that's very much your problem, not the dogs' or their owners'

Grantaire · 29/04/2015 12:38

MN is a pretty fair reflection of most places I've been/lived. There are minorities at either end of the spectrum. There are some people who just hate dogs and are ridiculous about it. At the other end there's a tiny minority who love their dogs more than humans and are completely irrational in this adoration. The vast majority are somewhere in the middle with some liking/enjoying dogs and having them in their homes, some not particularly liking them and choosing not to have them but not really fussed about those who do. I think both sides share one opinion and that's a dislike of irresponsible dog owners. That's the real issue.

I don't particularly like dogs. I'm not a dog person. I do see the occasional remark on here from a tiny number of dog lovers who say that they don't trust people who don't like dogs or pity them or think them cruel or unkind. That's as extreme and irrational as people hating and condemning all dogs. Dogs are a hobby, a massive one in this country and undoubtedly important to those people who love them. Definitely part of their lives and family. I just happen not to share that fascination/interest. I'm not deficient as a person because of it.

I do worry about dog owners who 100% trust their dogs too. I do know a few who are happy to let their babies and dogs sleep together or leave the dc and the dogs alone. Again, irresponsible dog owners, not a problem with dogs.

Original poster
roslyndee · 29/04/2015 12:46

Grantaire I do leave my DC alone with my dogs, my thirteen year old would think it completely bizarre if I said she had to come everywhere with me for fear of the dog she has known and loved all her life suddenly flipping out and eating her?!

My 6 month old DS also sleeps with my dogs.

You do realise you are taking a calculated risk every time you drive somewhere with your DC?

Of course be sensible with dogs you don't know and don't trust and nervous or very young children, but let's not over-exaggerate here. Hundreds of thousands of people in the UK own dogs and only a very small proportion of those dogs are every aggressive.

OP posts:
Grantaire · 29/04/2015 12:52

I don't mean 13yos. I mean babies and toddlers and primary aged children.

Of course I understand calculated risk. Getting out of bed and walking down the stairs I take calculated risks. They are part of life.

I'm allowed my line in the sand, you are allowed yours. They are your dogs and your dc and you make your decisions. My problem, as I said, is that you cannot ever say your dog is 100% trustworthy. You make your choice about your life but you can't make that statement and you acknowledge yourself that the choices you make ARE a risk. You just have your own margin for comfort. Personally, I don't think leaving small children alone with any dog is ever appropriate and I don't think allowing dogs to sleep in bed with children is ever a good idea.

WeAllHaveWings · 29/04/2015 13:05

My SIL is anxious around dogs and that would trump my dog being anxious not being around me. You decide if your visitors or dog is your priority.

Is it possible to put the Cav in a crate (with his bed in it) if you have anxious visitors?

I really dislike cats and get the feeling they dislike me even more (scratchy little devils) and I cannot relax when there is a cat in a room.

I sit on the edge of the sofa (in case they sneak attack from behind) and keep scanning the room. I can put up with it, but don't enjoy my visit as I'm on edge the whole time, I would love it if their owner would put them out the room while I am visiting.

I wouldn't want to put visitors, I am supposed to like, to my home through that due to my dog.