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The doghouse

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Original poster

Three (smallish) children and a puppy. Would you? Have you?

56 replies

SmileAndNod · 03/03/2015 20:22

We lost our beloved dog five years ago. I miss him. Every day. Despite having two children since and all the madness and noise that three children bring we still miss having a dog. We always thought that we would get another one day once the children were bigger. They are now coming up 8, 5 & 2.

Would it be too soon still? I don't have my heart set on anything in particular, or at any time in particular - we were just having the conversation after a recent new puppy addition to the wider family visited and we all fell in love with. It was lovely having a dog running about the place again and it prompted the kids to tidy their toys which was a bonus

So I wondered are children and dogs a bad mix? Which breeds are quite easy going? We were thinking of a lab / retriever type dog?

If I've failed miserably at training my children to follow basic commands will I be a crap dog ownerGrin

Any advice / stories / things we should consider welcomeSmile

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CandyAppleFudge · 03/03/2015 20:51

We got a puppy when dd was 1 years old, never looked back. Found a puppy way easier than a 1 year old. Grin

MrsWolowitz · 03/03/2015 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
SmileAndNod · 03/03/2015 21:30

I think it's the thought of toddler-hood x 2 that is scaring me a bit. And the worry of bringing a dog / puppy into not the quietest of houses! We always had dogs growing up, but I'm sure I wasn't as loud as my childrenGrin

I have a vision in my head of us all on holiday in the summer (we would take a dog), kids playing nicely, dog sleeping on the blanket after a long walk. I need the reality!

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MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 03/03/2015 21:53

We lost our old dog in December. We started asking around for puppies a few weeks later. The litter we got our names down for was born last week. I can't be without a dog. I miss my old boy so much, a new puppy will be absolutely nothing like him, but I need a dog again. It'll never replace him but it will be the next chapter of our doggy family. The only thing I'm worried about is forgetting him. Can't believe I ever would but I still worry. I think you always worry about whether you're doing the right thing or not so you might as well go for it.

SinclairSpectrum · 04/03/2015 07:05

I have 3 young kids, oldest is 7, youngest 4.
Our puppy is 5 months old.
There have been testing times but I think that's puppyhood regardless of circumstances but the positives are countless.
I would say go for it.
Have you considered a Spinone? In my opinion they are the perfect family dog.
Very loving, patient, laid back but trainable.
They are a large dog but guess that's ok if you're considering a retriever?

Original poster
SmileAndNod · 04/03/2015 07:10

I do tend to over think decisions to the point that I don't ever do anythingHmm

I think it's because bringing a little creature into our house that we ALL need to love and care for is a big decision.

Sorry for your loss MsAdorabelle. The that's the other thing with dog owning that's putting me off. The heartbreak when we had our old boy (and he was old) PTS - I'm not sure I want my children to ever feel that sad.

Did anyone else struggle with the decision to get a dog? I don't remember it being difficult before, but then I didn't have children 20 odd years ago...

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Branleuse · 04/03/2015 07:12

maybe consider getting an older rescue puppy thats already toilet trained and wont be as intense work but its still puppyish

Slippersandacuppa · 04/03/2015 07:15

Yep - DCs are 7, 5, 3 and nearly 1. Puppy is 16 weeks and we also have another dog, a cat, chickens, rabbits.....

The only tricky thing has been housetraining, needing to take her out every 45 mins or so but the crate has helped and given her some space away from the kids. I think she loves the noise and activity most of the time! She's a rescue and is definitely part of the family. I'd do it again!
We're going to need photos Smile

tabulahrasa · 04/03/2015 07:43

My dog was pretty much attached by the teeth to one of us permanently for the first 3 months...there's no way I'd do a puppy with a 2 yr old.

An older dog, yes, but not a puppy.

CandyAppleFudge · 04/03/2015 07:45

Our puppy was bitey but never that bad, I grew up with the breed and he was definitely the easiest to train,

Original poster
SmileAndNod · 04/03/2015 09:27

BitingShock. Oh not sure we could do biting. I know that puppies nip and chew but wouldn't want the children to be bitten (and subsequently scared).

Slippersandacuppa you sound as though you have your hands full. I think that's another worry, i am only just really coming out of my PND and don't want anything to push me over the edge or set me back as it were. We would also get a crate (would need for holidays) but also to give the dog space from the kids. Kind of the doggy equivalent of my Friday night retreat to the kitchen with wine I should imagineWink

Maybe we'll stick with our goldfish then, though of course should anything of the four legged variety arrive I will be only to happy to show photos to anyone who's interested.

I'm going to phone a local GR breeder today, just to do a bit more homework. Only starting with that breed as DH has always longed for one.

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Original poster
SmileAndNod · 04/03/2015 10:10

Ok, phoned the breeder, she wants us to go round to meet the dogsShock. Luckily she doesn't have any puppies available until the summer (at least) but she did say that they were an ideal family dog, though obviously lively when a puppy.

So lots more time to think and worry.

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tabulahrasa · 04/03/2015 10:23

Um...a puppy will bite the DC at some point, probably more than once or twice as well.

Mine was pretty full on, but well within normal.

It's normal for puppies to use their teeth and it hurts - they have tiny little needle sharp baby teeth.

Panicmode1 · 04/03/2015 10:24

I have a sixteen week old golden retriever puppy and 4 children (aged 10, 9,6,4). It's bloody hard - the biting was horrendous at the beginning and the house training was boring, but she learned fairly quickly. She's very bright and according to my trainer "isn't the easiest dog", but she's adored by everyone and I am (very) slowly feeling that it was a good decision. I do still have days when I regret getting a puppy and wish I'd got an older rescue because although I had read loads and loads and felt very prepared - I wasn't!!

I also wish that I'd had a year at home without the puppy after my youngest started school - just to enjoy the freedom before being 'tied' down. But she is gorgeous, I love her to pieces, and seeing the children romping in the woods with the puppy is magical!

Go for it, but be under no illusions on the amount of work it is!

Buttholelane · 04/03/2015 10:57

My puppy didn't bite my then 4 year old more than a bit of mouthing, she was 10 weeks when I bought her home.

She did go through a run and nip stage when excited when she was a bit older and ran and bit my hubby in the bum once and put some holes in my dresses while I was wearing them, maybe 16 or so weeks of age.

Hoppinggreen · 04/03/2015 11:07

We had GR growing up and they are lovely dogs. They are very hairy and messy though and can be a bit clumsy - my mums ran over my nephews head when he was about 1 and lying on a rug! We also had friends who's toddler was badly injured after being knocked downstairs by accident by their GR.
The puppies are very bitey too and even though I was a teenager when my Mum had her last puppy I got pretty mauled and they can go for the face. My hair particularly got it as well.
We are getting a dog this year, I am hoping for a GR but DH says they are too big and my children are 10 and 6, I know lots of people do little children and puppies but I didn't think it was right for us.
Warning - if you go and visit GR puppies you WILL end up with at least one! they are the most gorgeous things ever!!!

Original poster
SmileAndNod · 04/03/2015 20:27

Ahem.
We have a purely fact-finding you understand visit booked to meet the breeder and her dogs and puppies at the weekendSmile

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Hoppinggreen · 05/03/2015 09:51

You are SO getting a puppy!!

Original poster
SmileAndNod · 05/03/2015 10:10

No, we're definitely not!!! She does have a litter at the minute but luckily they're all spoken for. Phew.

It probably seems daft going to see them when we're not even sure we want a dog, but we want to ask about the breed, see if it's the right type of dog for our family, see how the children are with the dogs (they're not keen on small yappy dogs), make sure they don't come out in a rash etc, look at the fully grown dog and not just the cute balls of fluff. She's also keen to meet us as she's rightly fussy about where her dogs go. She actually sounded a little bit scary and I did feel like I was being interviewed a bit.

I struggle with little decisions anyway, but this seems a huuuge decision. A lot of responsibility for a long time to come. I'm already worrying about it, and going round in circles!

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CatWithKittens · 05/03/2015 10:32

That's how I got talked into our Airedale - my DH said it was a purely fact finding mission - "just to have a look". By the time DD1, aged 15 months, had picked him out of the basket he was ours. He is wonderful with the children, very protective but very gentle with them. He seems to know that little ones can be knocked over easily and is far less bouncy when playing with them than with the older ones. He does not shed hair so is not adding too much to vacuuming time and is good around asthmatic children - though he does have to be "stripped" regularly. He has never bitten anybody and limited his chewing when teething to things rather than people. As for "house training" we waited till he was 12 weeks old to get him as DH thinks they should not only be properly weaned but a bit older when they leave mum and the result was that either mum or or his breeder had largely trained him - we only had a few wee accidents the first few days: perhaps 8 or 10 in all. I must say he was a lot easier in that regard than any of our five DC!!! Good luck what ever you decide - a dog brings another dimension to a house being a home.

CatWithKittens · 05/03/2015 10:35

Whilst writing my post above your update came in. That is bad luck but it gives you the chance to look at a range of breeds. Crufts is this weekend if you are anywhere near London so you could perhaps see an extensive range of possibilities and talk to their owners - of course discounting their breed enthusiasm by a substantial percentage for bias!!

tabulahrasa · 05/03/2015 10:54

Them all being spoken for already and her interviewing you are good signs btw.

As well as the general chat about the dogs and seeing how the DC are you'll want to ask about health tests, for retrievers it's hip scores (average is 19 - that's both hips added together, but for breeding they should be well under that) elbows (which is 0-3 and only 0 scored parents should be being bred from) and eyes. (They should have certificates stating their eyes are fine and a clear DNA test for PRA for at least one of the parents)

If you ask about those straight away rather than later it could make it less awkward (as you know her) if you decide to get a puppy from elsewhere as you could say it was for a different reason...unless they're all fine, in which case she's looking like a good breeder, so hang on to her, lol.

Original poster
SmileAndNod · 05/03/2015 11:28

She mentioned on the phone yesterday that the parents have had hip and eye scores (which I knew about) and the DNA (which I didn't).

I found her through the kennel club, it just happens that they live within five miles of us - so as she said, no excuse for us not visiting!

I'm glad that there are none available as I don't want us to rush into anything. There is another litter planned for later this year (Sept time I think) which would be better timing wise. Six of those are already spoken for too. You read so many things about bad breeders and puppy farms that it's difficult to know where to start.

We will be watching crufts to have a look at other breeds. I like hounds but know they can be notoriously difficult to train and after likely to do a runner if they smell something interestingSmile

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Hoppinggreen · 05/03/2015 12:40

Lets (not) hope that someone who has reserved a puppy has to pull out and she offers you one!!!!!
The thought of 6 puppies to play with even briefly is making me go " squeeeeeeeeee" with excitement and it's not even me going !!
I loved our GR's, still tear up when I see one. If only DH didn't think they are too big and hairy - I think he's too big and hairy but I still love him.

Tootyfilou · 05/03/2015 12:46

My children, now teens have grown up with goldens. We currently have 2, a 5 yr old and a 7 month old .
Latest pup was marvellous harldy any mouthing and very gentle. Others have been mouthy to various degrees, non have hurt children .. Although the goldie we had when Dd was 2 would regularly knock her over with his tail!
I would recommend them 100%.
They are the most wonderful dogs and have enhanced all our lives immeasurably. Clever, funny, beautiful to look at ... Whats not to like. < admits to being a teeny bit biased> go for it. I have had them in my life for over 30 years now. Pm me if you want.