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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

What job has your dog developed for itself?

46 replies

saffronwblue · 29/08/2013 05:43

Mine has a few.

  1. Mad pointless barking and guarding of the dishwasher when we stack or unstack it.
  1. Galloping round and round the henhouse while I feed the chooks. I just have to say 'chooks' to her and she is off with more mad pointless barking.
  2. Rounding up my DC if we are at the park and they go beyond her limit(they are 11 and 14, not toddlers).
  3. Racing out of the house with yet more mad pointless barking to try to bring down any plane that flies overhead (we live near an airport).
OP posts:
frownyface · 29/08/2013 05:51

aww Safron she sounds like fun :) mine is an alarm clock....5.30 every morning.

Had her nearly 7 weeks now and much better than the 3.30 am starts, but that extra half hour would make all the difference!

frownyface · 29/08/2013 05:53

she probably has more but im too half asleep to come up with anything else Grin

DalekInAFestiveJumper · 29/08/2013 06:11

I have herding dogs. One of them is a really determined little SOB. He has successfully managed to herd sheep, geese, children, other dogs, many wolf spiders, and two actual freaking tarantulas.

He once attempted to herd a rattlesnake and was very put out when I called him off.

If I have both hands full carrying something, he will pace me and bark at anything that might cross my path. I think he's figured out I'm a hideous klutz.

The same dog is the guardian of bedtime. If we are watching a movie that runs so much as a minute past his bedtime he will climb up on the back of the couch and put his head right in my ear and sigh disconsolately over and over again, just to make sure I know he does not approve of this tomfoolery.

My other dog makes sure no crumb ever touches the ground. Drop an ice cube? He is on it! His mortal enemy is the vacuum cleaner, because it tries to do his job.

LesserSpottedNeckSnake · 29/08/2013 08:53

My older dog is my security officer. He watches the puppy interacting with the children, and if he gets too boisterous, he leaps on him with a grrrr and stops it. He also lets me know if next door have their washing on the line by barking madly at it as it blows above our fence line Hmm Our front window looks out on to a footpath, and he can often be seen stood there patrolling for other dogs. Some dogs are allowed to pass without comment, some get a low level humph, and some get some serious barking. There is no obvious reason for his prejudice.

The puppy has decided that he is the new head gardener. He regularly brings me stumps which used to be plants, trailing dirt through the house :(

vvviola · 29/08/2013 09:07

Our family dog used to collect the post. She'd hear the postman and te door and go tearing down the hall and return to the kitchen all pleased with herself despite the slobber all over the post

Current dog has anointed herself "protector of mini-viola". When DD1 would nap on my parents couch as a toddler the dog (and come to think of it, their previous one too) would sit beside the couch glaring at anyone who made too much noise Smile

nooka · 29/08/2013 09:25

My dog polices our cats, if he thinks that they are up to no good or getting to much attention he is right in there sorting them out. He also cleans them both, whether they like it or not (one loves it the other barely tolerates it).

Otherwise his main job is sleeping :)

OverTheFieldsAndFarAway · 29/08/2013 09:33

We had a little Jack Russell who liked to escort passers by ( mostly ramblers and dog walkers ) past the farm. He would spend all day sitting on top of our wall like a little sentry, if he heard voices etc he would hop off the wall and wait for them, he then walked alongside them until they passed the farm, about 100m then returned to the wall. He looked at them as if to say, move along now, nothing to see hear. He had quite a few fans in the end. Funny little thing he was.

todaysdate · 29/08/2013 09:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

curlew · 29/08/2013 09:42

Cushion and rug tester.

fieldfare · 29/08/2013 09:49

When dh isn't home and I'm doing paperwork in the kitchen of an evening, dog comes in at 8 precisely to round me up into the lounge. He likes to cuddle up on the couch with me in front of the tv.

If anyone is ill and asleep on the sofa he plays nursemaid, sitting by the sofa and harrumphing at anyone making too much noise and regularly sticking his chops in your face just to check you're still ok.

GemmaTeller · 29/08/2013 09:57

Being general curtain (or blind) twitchers

They have a large beanbag in front of the lounge window overlooking the lawn and driveway - some dogs are allows to walk past, some get grumbled at but if any dare to stop they get full on barking.

Cars that pull up on the road get grumbled at, if someone gets out of the car they get barked at, if someone walks up our drive then thats totally different, dogs run to door wagging tails being giddy as they assume anybody coming to the house is friends or family.

They also snitch on the cats by coming to us and doing the 'hard stare', which in boxer speak is 'come with me', and taking us to whatever the cats brought in or knocked over.

Original poster
saffronwblue · 29/08/2013 23:45

These are lovely. I just love the way they assign themselves these important tasks.

OP posts:
FoundAChopinLizt · 29/08/2013 23:47

Meet and greet all guests, by fetching favourite toy and presenting it to guests.

Also has 'register' of all family, not happy until all present and correct, preferably all in the same room.

FoundAChopinLizt · 29/08/2013 23:49

Also very effective Hoover for edible items, no need to sweep up after meals ignoring the giant fur balls

flummoxedlummox · 29/08/2013 23:53

A disgusted look if I don't take her for a walk/play with her immediately when I come home. Which considering she's a rescue with an awful first two years I think is v. ungrateful.

GeoHound · 29/08/2013 23:53

Gets her own tins of dog food out of the cupboard as a not so subtle hint that she is hungry.

Purplemonster · 29/08/2013 23:57

The one about old dogs and new tricks isn't true, somehow the wolf has taught my old GSD how to howl, she's using this new found skill to tell us every time the phone rings, you know, just in case the actual ringing didn't alert us to this fact. The wolf, having delegated the task no longer bothers. The GSD initially howled to tell us the baby was crying when we first brought her home but thankfully quickly gave up on that as it was too frequent so she guarded the door for a few weeks instead. She takes her work very seriously, i just wish I could convince her that barking at anything that even dares to breathe on our street is NOT her job.

MoaningMingeWhingesAgain · 30/08/2013 00:01

New dog has taught small old dog to chase and bark at our cat Hmm For 9 years the cat was roundly ignored and now it gets chased umpteen times a day.

Small old dog thinks she is an assistance dog for the deaf, whenever the phone rings (landline or mobile) she goes nuts barking and jumping around.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 30/08/2013 00:37

Chief telephone howler.
Official food scrap catcher. (I have to be really careful when cooking away from home. Ive been known to toss scraps to non existent dogs!)Blush
Head ball herder. (You cant play footie without him round here)
Co pilot. (The front passenger seat is his. Woe betide anyone who sits in it!)

MeerkatMerkin · 30/08/2013 01:09

Clean-up crew under DS's chair at mealtimes.

Botherer of neighbours.

Sentry at the door to alert when DH is home.

Whiner/yodler to anyone who has the misfortune of being in her company when I am absent.

Cat cushion.

Toddler hot water bottle.

Chaser of all birds.

BOF · 30/08/2013 01:25

Pickle's job is to keep me company when I'm ill. She doesn't leave my side.

everlong · 30/08/2013 08:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mikkii · 30/08/2013 08:40

Our female Belgian Shepherd has appointed herself chief dog sitter. We have family whose dog howls when left alone, so for funerals/weddings/baptisms the yorkie comes to ours for the church bit and our Belgian looks after him.

curlew · 30/08/2013 08:42

"Also has 'register' of all family, not happy until all present and correct, preferably all in the same room."

Ours does this. She likes us all on the sofa under a rug eating delicious snacks..........

BeerTricksPotter · 30/08/2013 08:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.